All Comments on 'The Surprise'

Not a bad story, but the lack of commas and wrong words make it a little interesting trying to figure out what the author is trying to say.

No, you were SITTING. I knew then that I wouldn't be able to get through this.

"I then pick out my CLOTHS."

"We Hear a KNOCKS."

Horrible, and the story itself was lame.

You ought to read your own work out loud to yourself at least ONCE before submitting. That alone would correct many, many of the grammar, spelling and poor word choices.

Content? I'll try to be kind:

Ryan is freaked out about being a father for about three seconds before kissing and fingering the narrator. Kudos that someone is freaked out. Certainly the narrator and her husband should be since the liability problems are so obvious and potentially expensive. These characters are at best idiots and more likely automatons. This effort is lame, totally non-erotic, badly written and a waste of space. A Minus Five Stars is generous.

Group sex, incest, and it's in LW? Why?