All Comments on 'The Surrogate Ch. 02'

Good structure, flow and sequence. I feel your excitement gets ahead of your intended sequence in some places, making it slightly difficult to make sense which can affect the readers arousal. Punctuation missing in a few places, and some where it's unnecessary. You could bridge two ideas with words or a simple rearrangement, creating better flow and cohesion. For example the order here could be as numbered: "2. John was about to get a sweet surprise from me though. 3. I was going to train his cock to last longer with my hot wet mouth and a cock ring. 1.Yeah, I had a plan as well." Delighted that you incorporate knowledge for the readers general interest as well as to inspire a toy to fortify her resolve to be her best for her master. Loved the simmering desire between brother and sister throughout.