The Swim Team Ch. 08

"God, no! I'd never do such a thing. In fact, I wouldn't have gone myself if I'd known beforehand. She and Brenda were over at their friend Ivory's that night." I grabbed a rocks glass and poured myself a hefty splash of my own before walking over and dropping onto the couch and put the bottle on the coffee table.

She came around and sat on the edge of the cushion next to me, and her eyes searched my face. "I...I didn't think you were into that scene, Barry."

"I'm not. Not really. I was invited by a woman I met at the district office when I was trying to raise money for the team. I guess she was into me." I shrugged. "Things happened. But I don't know why Linda is so upset by it. Other than she knows the women."

"Women? As in more than one?" Kelly's eyes widened as the thought struck her.

I shrugged again.

She downed her next shot and poured another. As she reached, I noticed her top pull across her chest, highlighting her nipples standing proud through the fabric. "How do you think she knows them?"

"One of them was on the swim team, the other is a former coach."

Kelly's face hardened. "Diane West? You fucked Diane West?" Judging by the reaction, evidently Kelly knows the name of Dennis' lover. The anger flashed but then faded as resignation settled in. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," she said shaking her head. "Why should she be satisfied ruining just my life."

"Kelly, I had no idea who she was or what was going on. As far as I knew, she was just a young woman who wanted to spend time with me."

"And you fucked one of Linda's classmates, too?"

"No, she graduated two years ago."

Kelly sat there in silence until it started to get uncomfortable. Then she sighed. "Barry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you the other day. "If what I said had anything to do with..."

"Stop right there. I'm a grown man, I don't make decisions based on emotion." I knew it was a lie as soon as I said it, but it popped out there before I could think about it. "And besides, I didn't know it was that kind of party before it was. That kind of party, I mean."

"But you never joined in back in college."

"Back then, I had Carrie. I didn't want anyone else. Now I have no one, so I didn't see any reason not to have some fun." That was as true a statement as I had made about the whole incident up until then, and I blinked at the epiphany. I had been living in a void for six years. A void where I intentionally avoided real intimacy. It never occurred to me before that moment.

"Why didn't you in college? Carrie would have gone for it."

"Shut Up!" My anger flashed without warning. "Don't talk about Carrie like that! Besides, we're not talking about my wife. We're discussing your daughter."

"Barry," Kelly spoke like a mother trying to educate a recalcitrant child, "What you did hurt my child. And why you did it has everything to do with Carrie."

"Look, Kelly," I began, then paused to swallow the vile words that first threatened to issue forth. "Dennis told me about your resurgence of faith and morality. Don't come into my house and spread that around here and expect a good reaction." My gut tightened and I couldn't explain why.

"My faith has nothing to do with you, Barry. It is between me and God. I wouldn't think about preaching to you."

"Well, thank you for that."

"But I think perhaps you and I have a similar problem."

"What are you talking about?"

"I returned to my mother's church because I felt guilty about what I had done. I felt that the miscarriage and Linda's medical problem were punishments for enjoying sex too much."

"That's a bunch of malarkey. Are you saying I feel guilty? I don't feel guilty about anything."

"Don't you?" She fixed a pointed look at me as if expecting me to change my answer. When I didn't she continued. "I avoided sex because of what I thought was a punishment for enjoying it too much. I felt guilty. You, sir, are avoiding relationships because you feel guilty about Carrie."

"What do I have to feel guilty about? I didn't kill her. A stupid infection killed her. There was nothing I could have done about it."

"That's not what I'm talking about. You feel guilty whenever you think about getting serious with someone else. You think you'd be cheating on her. That guilt is what keeps you alone."

I opened my mouth to argue with her, but no words would come out. I wanted to rage at her impudence. I wanted to scream at her gall. I wanted to tell her she was so wrong. But nothing. I could say nothing.

"Barry, Brenda talks to us, you know. When she comes over with Linda. She tells us about you and your lack of social life. She has been so worried about you. She was heartbroken when you didn't keep seeing that woman you met at parent's night," Kelly smiled. "She told me she was going to try to find someone for you one way or another. Did you know she was hoping you would see that sales rep again?"

Brenda knew about Tammy Faircloth? How could she? I was so discreet. "No...not...what?"

"Ask her. Is she in her room? Get her out here."

"I can't. She's not here. She was mad at me, too. She left. I think she's at her friend Ivory's."

"Oh."

"Which is weird, because Ivory's sister Austin was the other girl I was with at the party."

"Oh! Seriously?"

"Yeah. And that's not all. Ever since Austin came back, Brenda's been acting odd. And there's been some tension between her and Linda, too."

"It's not Austin's fault," a faint voice came from the foyer. I spun my head around at the unexpected sound, my heart stuttering.

"Linda, I said to wait in the car until I came for you," Kelly said.

She was standing against the door frame, one hand twirling a lock of her wavy hair, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. "You were talking so long. And...I wanted...I needed..." she started to sniffle as tears welled in her eyes.

"Baby," Kelly went to her daughter. "Shhh. Now, now." She pulled Linda in for a hug, and the little girl wrapped her arms around her mother. She looked just as fragile as she did that Sunday night she came to stay with us.

"What do you mean it's not Austin's fault," I said as I joined them and led them back to the couch. "You and Brenda didn't start having problems until she showed up."

"That's not true. It just didn't get to the point it is until she showed up."

A light bulb turned on in my mind. The looks between Linda and Brenda, Linda coming home from school upset, the sleeping on the couch, that scene by the pool the morning after the pool party, the picture on the puzzle was starting to take shape. "Linda, does it have to do with your birthday party. With what happened after everyone left?" Linda's eyes grew wide. She clearly didn't expect that I knew anything about what happened. "I know Bethany, Karen, and Tina have a very...familiar and intimate relationship. I tried to talk to Brenda about it the other day, but she snapped at me and stormed off."

"Oh, my God," Linda murmured. "You know about that?"

"What are you two talking about?" Kelly kept alternating looking at me and Linda.

"Well?"

She looked like a defendant on the witness stand afraid to testify.

"Linda, you can tell us." Kelly stroked Linda's hair. "Whatever it is, we can get through it together."

"It's more than just that. It's...well..." she looked at Kelly like she was the district attorney trying to beat a confession out of her. I could understand her reticence, especially since Kelly was so down on casual sex, and the swim team seemed to be all about casual sex. Linda had to think her mother would judge her harshly. She definitely judged Dennis rather harshly.

"Linda, I don't think you have to worry about shocking your mother. I'm sure she'll understand what you want to say."

"But it's a sin. She's always told me."

"She won't think any less of you, sweetie. Will you Kelly?" I leveled a look that communicated my warning. "She probably understands better than you think she does."

Realization washed over Kelly's face, and a series of emotions followed too fast to keep up.

"I know there's a lot of sex going on between your teammates." I rested my hand on Linda's shoulder. "I saw some of it at the party. Is that what is bothering you?"

Linda shook her head. "Not the sex so much. I mean everyone does it, right?" She cast a sidelong glance at her mom, then looked right at me, almost accusing in her gaze. "You obviously do."

Ouch.

She continued. "It's more than that. They've made a plan, the other girls, I mean. I guess it's more like a club. They try to one-up each other with how outrageous they can get."

"And Austin started it," I said finishing her sentence. It made sense to me, since Austin ran a cam site, and the party and all. It had to be Austin.

Linda's expression changed to one of sympathy. "No. Brenda did."

My world stopped. I couldn't draw a breath. No coherent thoughts came into my mind. My vision blurred, and then everything went dark.

#

"Come on, sleepy head!" Carrie was pulling my arm trying to get me off the couch. "You have to see this!"

I watched her smile beaming at me as she pulled me to my feet, and I couldn't help returning a grin. I stumbled over my shoes, which I had kicked off earlier just before I landed on the couch. We had been scrambling to finish the last details on the house before our housewarming party.

When Carrie came back into my life, everything once again seemed right with the world. My job was a joy, the contractors stopped dragging their feet and finished the construction on the house, we furnished it together with a fusion of a little of my taste and a lot of hers, and life was good. We married in a simple ceremony, just us, Carrie's parents, Dennis and Kelly and a smattering of coworkers with whom we were close. Being an orphan and an only child would have left my side of the aisle a little sparse if we'd had a big, traditional wedding.

We'd just come back from our honeymoon and were looking to settle into our new home. Granted, we'd been living in the house the whole time, but now it was official. Now it was finished, and it had been done with our own sweat and tears. We were looking forward to a party to christen the place properly.

Carrie led me out to the back yard. I had been trying to figure out the best use for the space. It was a good-sized lot, if not huge. I could put a basketball court back there. Even with my bad leg, I could still play a passable game. I thought maybe a gazebo, or perhaps a pergola with an outdoor kitchen. That was the way I was leaning until Carrie weighed in.

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "What is so important you have to drag my sore body out here?"

"Just this," she stepped aside and did a Vanna White wave of her arm across the back yard. She had driven wooden stakes into the soil and tied yellow ribbon between them in the shape of a large rectangle that took up most of the yard and ran right through my dream kitchen. "What do you think?"

"I think it's the prettiest ribbon-stake-box I've ever seen."

"Silly," she batted at my shoulder. "It's our pool."

"A pool? Needs cleaning. Look at the algae buildup."

"Aren't you the funny one."

"Why a pool? I thought we were going to do an outdoor kitchen."

"We still can. Imagine coming out and swimming, then making dinner and sitting out by the pool all day."

"It sounds great, but if we're going to do a pool, I don't know if this one will do. Besides, you didn't take into account the plumbing, the filter equipment, and a pool house to keep all the maintenance stuff in. Doesn't leave much room for a kitchen."

"Well, I'm sure we can figure it out."

"You're pretty set on this, eh?"

"It'll be fun. Besides, Brenda will love it."

"Brenda, huh?" Our future first-born was already spoiled, and she hadn't even been conceived yet. "Have you even thought about a name for a boy?"

"Sure. Brendan."

I shook my head. I had already come to the conclusion that for the foreseeable future, some of my decisions were going to be made for me. The pool wouldn't come about for a couple of years after Brenda was born, but it was a forgone conclusion that it was going to happen.

That evening, Kelly and Dennis came by along with some other friends. Freddy Silmers was one of the new programmers at my office and we got along pretty well. He joined the team right out of college, so he was a couple of years younger than me, and single. I also invited Sylvia Grafton, a QC analyst who was also single. It wasn't my idea. I honestly never cared to play cupid, but Carrie thought Freddy and Sylvia would make a cute couple. They didn't.

The night of the party, Carrie and I dressed casually. I was in long shorts and a polo shirt, and Carrie wore a summer slip dress that hugged her curves perfectly. Of course, everything she wore hugged her figure perfectly. Freddy and Sylvia arrived about fifteen minutes apart, and when Carrie introduced them, I could swear icicles formed around them. No chemistry at all. I would tease Carrie about it for years. During the party, I did see Freddy bounce from group to group looking like he was having fun, despite the failed setup, so I let it go. Eventually, he gravitated to Dennis and Kelly and spent a lot of time laughing with them.

At one point during the evening, I was standing in what would be the deep end of our future pool talking with Sylvia and another friend when I realized I hadn't seen Kelly or Dennis in some time. I made my excuses and went looking for them when I spotted Carrie coming out of the house.

"Hey, babe. Have you seen Dennis or Kelly?"

She glanced around, "Uhm," she said with a little hesitation, "I thought I just saw Kelly heading back out here. I think she was in the toilet."

"Oh, okay. I would just hate to miss them if they left."

"They wouldn't leave without saying something," Carrie said. "I need another beer." She made her way to the table we set up as a bar. As she walked away, I noticed her dress was on inside out. I made a mental note to tease her about it later. When I turned around, I almost ran into Freddie coming out of the house.

"Hey, Fred. There you are." I slapped him on the shoulder. "Having a good time?"

"The best. I don't think I can ever thank you and Carrie enough for your hospitality." His face was flushed, and he seemed out of breath, but happy. He grabbed a beer from the table and wandered off.

I went into the house and almost ran into Kelly coming out of the spare bedroom that would eventually become Brenda's. Her hair was mussed, and her face was flushed, so I figured she and Dennis had found themselves time for a romantic interlude. Given what I know of them, I didn't begrudge them grabbing a little piece of each other when the mood struck. I was thinking of grabbing Carrie myself.

"Hey, Kelly."

"Oh!" She jumped then covered her mouth. "Barry, you startled me." She quickly tried to tame her fiery hair. "I thought you were outside."

"I was, but I hadn't seen you or Dennis for a while. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Ever the gracious host," she said, patting my shoulder as she walked past me. "Come on, let's go outside. I need a drink."

I imagined she and Dennis worked up quite a thirst, so I followed. I figured Dennis would follow along in due time. I know they must have had a good time, because nine months later Linda was born, and two weeks after that, Brenda came into the world.

#

"Barry!" Kelly's shrill voice cut through the darkness.

"Whu...what? What happened?" I blinked as Linda's concerned face loomed over mine. Behind her, Kelly's face had a similar expression.

"Are you okay? I think you fainted."

"Yeah," Linda added, "you just kind of dropped onto the couch."

Then I remembered. Brenda. My Brenda. Part of this Swim Team Sex club. My mind threatened to shut down again as the thought bounced around like a pinball, pinging my bells and slamming into my bumpers. Not just part of it. Leading it if Linda was to be believed. "Are you sure about this Linda? Are you sure Brenda was the one that started it?"

"I was there. It was at Kiki's, I mean Karen's party last Spring Break."

Kiki? Austin called her cam-show friend Kiki. That was Karen? I thought back to the previous March. I was busy with a work project back then. Of course, I was always busy with projects. That's why I retired early, so I could spend less time on projects and more time with my daughter. Since I was so busy back then, I never turned her down when she wanted to go to a sleep over at a friend's house. "Go on..."

"Well, I think it was Tina who first brought up the idea of a truth or dare game. And things kind of went from there. Brenda thought it was cool to dare everyone. She was the one who made the first, uhm, well..."

"Yes?"

"She kinda liked telling them what to do. The other girls, I mean."

I've always known Brenda was a natural leader, but I never would have thought she would do something like what Linda was telling me. "Alright. That's enough. I don't need to hear this. This isn't the Brenda I raised."

"Well, actually," Kelly said with a shrug, "it does make sense. She can be a bit bossy."

"You too? First, you shit all over my memories of Carrie, and now you attack my daughter, when she's not even here to defend herself?"

"She wouldn't defend herself," Linda said. "She's actually proud of it. All of them are. Which is why I'm quitting the team."

"Linda!" Kelly's voice exploded like a bark. "You cannot quit the team. You love swimming."

"I do. I really do. But I can't stay around all of them and their stupid games. They wanted to turn tricks for money to pay for the season."

"Say what?"

"They want to sell sex for money. To be on Austin's show doing things for tokens. I bet they're on there right now."

"Oh really? Well, let's find out." I jumped up from the couch and marched to my room followed by Kelly with Linda in tow. I opened my browser and logged into the site, only to find my browser could not load the page. I blinked. I tried again, only to get the same error. Well, fine. Two-factor authentication was my specialty. I opened my virtual machine and spoofed my IP address and hit the site anonymously. The account creation page loaded, but it wouldn't accept my log in information. So, I created a new one.

When it was accepted, my heart dropped in my chest with a near-audible thud. Austin was indeed online, but already in a private room, touted as Austin and Friends.

"See," Linda said.

"Do you know where Austin lives?"

"Of course, but I don't want to go over there. They don't really want me there anyway since I never wanted to be part of their game."

"Do you have her number?"

"I have Ivory's, not Austin's"

"That'll work."

She dialed Ivory and handed me the phone. The look on her face told me she was uncomfortable with the whole affair and would rather be anywhere else. After a few rings, someone picked up.

"Hey, Linda! Did you change your mind about coming over? You missed the party 'cuz Austin's already gone back to school."

"Ivory, this is Mr. Brandford, Brenda's father. Is she there with you?"

"Oh! Uh, hey, uh, hey, Mr. B. Uhm...Brenda..."

"It's okay, Ivory. You're not going to get anyone in trouble here. I'm just worried about her, that's all." The line was silent for a while, then I heard muffled whispering, like someone covering the microphone on the handset. "Ivory," I raised my voice, "I just want to hear her voice and know that she's okay. That's all. Tell her I'm not looking for a fight. I just want to say I'm sorry and I love her."

After several long seconds, there was some rustling sounds before I heard my daughter's voice, and relief washed over me. "Daddy. I'm okay. I'll be home tomorrow after school."

"Brenda, you know I love you, don't you?"