All Comments on 'The Test'

Chapter 1---But NOT labeled.

Too much introduction, and no payoff.

Short, pointless, and not engaging. The so called "revenge" was started because he was rude in line, hard to really care when thats the starting point. Low score. My advice for the author, first either have a complete story or label it as part of a larger story and if you are going to write a story that is tagged as revenge give a reason for the reader to care about the revenge, not have some porn star Karen deciding to get angry someone got a little rude in a frustrating situation.

Nice setup. Interested to see how this will play out in a follow up

Seeing the writer is new, this is a good attempt. The writer should have labeled it as chapter 1. Good set up. I feel like I want the writer to get to the sex quicker. Maybe, less time spent telling us about who the characters are and more time spent telling us about what he jacks off to or describing the sex the sex characters have. Just some thoughts and feedback you wanted. Keep it up. Looking forward to the following installments maybe they will have more sex and less tease.

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I will try to do better if I try this again. Please continue to give me feedback and ideas. And I thank everyone who has read this.

I Agree with Flynntaggart. This is not a story. It a confrontation with a geek in a department store. More of a short blurb in a sex magazine.

XYZ

Maybe have everyone peg him & walk out openly naked.