All Comments on 'The Ties That Bind: Addendum'

Maybe it will work for them, maybe not. That's what life is all about.

This is probably pretty close to how I would have ended it.

Nice effort.

Regards, DJ

But you didn't need to write this addendum. The end of Chapter 3 was satisfactory. Do not let naysayers dictate how and what you write. Constructive criticism is good but it must contain concrete ideas of how to make your writing better, not personal attacks. If I don't like a story and cannot offer constructive criticism, I keep my mouth shut.

Boyd

I gave you high marks on the whole story...It was a good one and I really enjoyed reading it....as I do all your stories. Keep up the good work as I know you do enjoy writing the stories.

With the way you have portrayed the husband, my guess would be that if she 'heals' that they will eventually get back together. This way you allow the husband to voice his pain and maintain his self-respect, while giving himself a chance to heal and still not totally desert a 'sick' spouse.

Blue, I know you took it in the shorts for chapter 3. But, I really think that most of the commentators are real fans. You had what? 60-70 comments? Authors do not get that many unless they have a following. The few truly obnoxious ones are a pain but they are definitely the tiny minority.

Thanks again for writing for us.

Gus

It took a man to say and do what your preface said. A big man.

That said - this was superb and close to lifes realities - he maintained his purpose and dignity plus was proactive in ensuring his own safty while offering support as deemed necessary.

I / we look forward to your future work with anticipation.

Thanks Author - With Very High Regard

It takes an outstanding person to say what you said in the preamble. I for one really appreciate it.

This end is much better. It is concise and does the job.

Well done. Thanks.

You do write well. And you have given him a lot of character, actually. So much in life can become a god-awful mess. Hopefully, they, and that means both of them, can get past it all.

Thank you for writing this ending and m ore importantly thanks for your preamble. It needed to said to all of us. I enjoy your writing and your candor. You have presented a story about an horrific event with no winners and all losers and this ending give closure and yet leaves the reader witha sense a hope that there is a future for both of them, maybe not together but a future nonetheless.

Boooo! that was just an easy way of getting out

First of all, I think you are way too sensitive to put yourself in a place where anyone can say anything and you take it personal. When you put yourself out in a site like this, it's like putting a big bulls eye on your ass. Even the Pope gets hate mal. You thinkthat you are immune?

As for the story ending, the original ending sucked. This new ending didn't suck as much but it also didn't finish the story for me. This ending was kinda like saying the ending that I hate the most on ANY story, "..but thats another story".

I didn't give you a zero or even a 25 because I was afraid I would cause you heart failure or something. I guess you deserve a 50 just for trying

Please lighten up and keep writing so we can read your stories and then call you bad names...or even good ones sometimes

Better in that it was far more realistic. It leaves the door open for reconciliation, but this time it looks to be a far more realistic road to that end than the instant "love can overcome all" ending you originally used.

I wouldn't blame you for leaving this one where it lies; any further development would be looking at her recovery process (as well as looking at whether they do actually get back together - which is not guaranteed, as they may reach the end of her counselling process to discover that they are far better off as friends rather than as lovers). While this would be interesting for some, it isn't exactly the kind of material that this site is for ;). It would also take quite some time to write and develop, which isn't everyone's cup of tea.

I'm going to wait and see if any other authors on this site want to take a crack at extending it beyond here. This ending is far more interesting than the cliched "all lived happily ever after" stuff that usually infests Fictionmania.

I always knew that talent does not disappear! Thank you for coming back. The warm humane empathetic qualities are your forte, tempered with clear level headed thinking - and you are at your best. this clear simple and humane ending was perfect.

Iam an avid fan of your stories. The beginning of this one was a tad incomplete and illogical. This ending addresses one of the omissions in the first; but still leaves the resoluton differing from the facts in the build up. It almost has the happy ending I hold so dear, but a happy ending is totally unwarranted. I am not strong enough that I should be able to hold a quiet conversation with one who treated me so foul. What about her job? Did she also lose hers due to "the moral clause"? Is she mentally capable of productive work? How does she pay for food, rent, etc.? But then again, having destroyed everything in her past life, maybe she deserves a rough way to go. I don't know. You certainly did make her irrational.

All told, that means you did a marvelous job in creating this story that makes such a situation so tangible.

Thank you for your efforts. Thank you for sharing it with us.

BLUE88

I know my opinion may not count for much with you but long before the TIES THAT BIND stories came out I posted on many of your stories some very positive reviews and LOTS of Praise.

to say I was stunned by chapter 3 is a massive understatement. I may be an asshole sometimes but I also know when I was wrong and went ove the line.

Yes I was one of those that did go too far in their reaction to Chapter3 and there were two reasons for that. First I saw where you were going in capter 2 and I thought "Not you too"... stories that have horrrifc actions by the wife and the hubby meekly says "well can I still fuck you?"....

(hildy margo house of cards nightime confessions just to name a few super wimp stories) with the Hubby taking the blame.

The second reason was that your other works -- the KAREN series CHARARDE LORD WHAT FOOLS WHEN SORROWS CAME... are IMO the among the BEST stuff in the LW genre written here.

This ending was much better.. There are some things that could of been added ... for example the rape charge has no legal standing at all as I have and RISQ and others have pointed out.... so the other guy might be out of jail on bond shortly and there could be revenge scne coming up....

second to drive home the point he should of asked her this question ... DEAR ( sarcasm) If I stay around are you going to try and kill me again?"

Third she should of been ARRESTED and charged with a series of felonies. Whether she can prove she is NUTS at trial or in the preliminary hearings is up to her and her doctors... and she might be able to do so. But she should of been charged ...

then she needed to be served with divorce papers in front of a LOT of people.

anyeay this ending while IMO too short was a lot better

A mutch better ending to the story, however here is the main carecter "happy ending"? Will he restart his life? i hope so, because he deserves it.Find a nice woman(there must be still a couple ones out there)and start his hone family.

I would also like to point out that you are in my opinion, a good writer, i like to read your stories, and i hope you will continue to provid whith your tales.

Your stories make people think, and maybe thats because they don't apretiate them

Like your stories very much. Too bad readers can't understand and work with you giving constructive comments.

There are some who are unstable enough that they take these stories personally and attack the "messenger". Unfortunately, the system here allows multiple ratings by individuals who are a few bricks short and want to play like children.

There should be a system here, like Stories on Line that only allows a registered user to vote, and then, only once.

Some writers, disgusted with this continual pounding have shifted their work to Storiesonline to the loss of readers who care here.

You have taken a very hard road with all the turns being left hand and finally found a right to end the circle. It’s a start to some answers on what life is like in lives of people of challenged mental stability. From short depression, panic attacks to break downs people need support and you have given a real life distress that effects millions in subtle to total debilitating disease.

I for one can see you wanting to let this story lye, as it has been a traumatic and obviously tough body of work to write. I have to agree with one commenter who said to give this a years later ending would be a long detailed account of two people crawling forward till they can stand on their own two feet. It could lead to an understanding of what it takes to live with a new perception of them selves and how they can successfully relate to others.

It would not be appreciated by many who have their mind made up any more of this story would be a copout instead of a honest effort to show what I would call, life after death of a marriage or a new resurrection. Also as noted sex is an important addition to most of Literotica stories, and a reference to it would have to be intermixed with any finality of this fantasy, (But please don’t have her get involved with her therapist. Hell, that would be two mental health specialists in the picture and to much analyzing of everyone). I would love to see where these two people grow to. It could be an elevating or a sad story as sadly not all treatment of neuroses results in a happy ending.

I’m so thankful this Author did not shrinking from the pain inflicted on him by so many of us in our zeal to respond to what we saw as unrealistic character behavior being pushed on us for a particular ending.

Thank you Blue for taking a story and giving it your all. I loved the epilogue and feel it did so much to rectify surrender to expediency. Please keep giving us your idea of a relationship stories. I will always read with delight your stories.

With the greatest of respect that you have earned many times over.

PT

Blue, this is much more of your style. I agree with others that it is too short. Maybe sometime later you can revisit this couple in the future. I look forward to more of your writings.

Although a lot of readers have not got enough sense to hate the characters of the story, and even the story content itself and rate the writing as a totally different aspect of the score, they are ridiculously funny. As you say, if the story was not interesting to them and they did not return chapter after chapter to see what the result of a writer's work had to offer, then why bother. I liken their responses to someone who reads a history of the Roman Empire that has been wonderfully researched and then decries the history book as poor because they didn't like the Christians being fed to the lions. In two words Blue, "Fuck em."

Although personal hopes remain high that "god damn that bitch, I hope she gets her's at the end." If the story does not offer an ending that they like, they lump the writer's ability and the story content by their low score for the story.

I always try to vote for the writing and comment on the characters and the story content in the comments section. Two separate entities to be sure.

If a story contains so many mistakes that it is unreadable but has a cheating spouse being disemboweled, coming down with aids, or being ran over by a semi if guilty. This makes no difference to me. I will vote for the writing and that would be "0", even though I love the story, (what part of it is readable and coherent)

You guys do a wonderful job of trying to please everyone. You cannot do it.

The bad part about it, as you wrote in the prelude to this chapter,voting zero because they don't like the story is totally unfair to the writer. please do not be discouraged by the perpetual assholes on the site that cannot tell the difference between a story and reality. Tell em to go watch Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil

First, I would like to thank you for responding to the many requests to improve/complete the ending. Second, this ending is better in that it is more realistic BUT it still stops short. As I have written before, I love all of your stories, except the endings The only one that really "ended" was "Karen" but, interestingly, you wrote a good continuation but then left THAT hanging. I know it's easy to criticise and I hope you accept this in the spirit that it is meant - a suggestion to how you could - just in my opinion - make your very good stories into excellent ones - make the endings more complete - sad or happy, as you see fit, but please do not leave me hanging.

Blue, a great ending, but as another already noted, way too short. Still, it is good work.

Now, for a little realism. You, like myself, are way too sensative when it comes to our written work. There are a lot of morons and functionally illiterate idiots that will read a good to great story, and then degrade it. the fact that they could not write their way out of a toilet bowl does not matter to them; they still degrade those who can write.

In the future I would suggest you become like a duck with their comments. Oil your back, and then let the stupids say what they always do. Their comments are only meant to hurt and insult, so let them roll right off. You cannot please everyone, so forget about even trying. And you cannot prevent the stupids from visiting Lit and reading your work, so just write for yourself and those of us who have come to appreciate your style, wit, and sense of drama (or humor, as the case might be).

Len

This ending was much better. Great story. I wish you would continue it. MLH

...you got it right ... a husband who demonstrates a measure of compassion while sticking to his own personal standards. It's important that men know when to hold'em and when to fold'em. In doing so he will teach her the first and foremost valuable lesson in life: Each of us is responsible for our actions and the consequences of those actions. Frankly, under "normal" circumstances, she was damned lucky to still be alive after she so brutally abused him. (That part of your story revealed a bit of irrationality.)

Now they both can begin to mend.

Ok, first let me say this. I personally am glad that you revisited the ending, but I hope it was because you felt so and not because you felt cornered to do so. I know some of us can be harsh at times and that isn't always fair because sometimes I can personally see the intent in the story, even if I don't agree.

I know that I posted some critisim over the ending, but not because I didn't like the story, but because I felt like the wrong person was being identified with as the victim by other characters in the original story, instead of the husband who really was the true victim. But this ending at least made me feel like the husband still really cared about his wife and was willing to help her work out her problems, but this ending also pointed out that he realized that he was the real victim regardless of what everyone else said to him and that while he is willing to help her on her road to recovery, he needs to see to recovery for himself as well. And that recovery would need to be taken without her.

Nice new ending and with it, it made me see that there was balance with-in the story as a whole.

-Risq

Blue,

Once you have posted stories to the high standards you have a lot of readers expect you to hit a home run with every story you post. Not going to happen! I'm not a writer nor do I feel I can I be a critic. I just enjoy the stories. I've never found any of your works to be anything but good or GREAT. Ignore the complainers and haters. It doesn't matter what you do people like them just enjoy that kind of thing. None could remotely write as well as you do. THANKS again for sharing your writing with us.

i do like the 'Addendum'.

i've also read the 3 chapters, and although i may not agree w/ the ending, i think it was written pretty well.

i bet that this will again be bombarded w/ comments. good and bad. i think it just shows that you have alot of readers.

Mr Fumanda Cheeze

your comment are unfair and shallow...

...." Although personal hopes remain high that "god damn that bitch, I hope she gets her's at the end." If the story does not offer an ending that they like, they lump the writer's ability and the story content by their low score for the story...."

Perhaps I mis read your post but it seems to me that you hold the silly notion that ANYONE reader that has a problem with the way a story is resolved NO MATTER HOW LEGITIMATE is really just part of the throw the bitch out crowd.

surely just as every writer has the RIGHT to develop a story as he see fit surely a reader has the right if he/ she takes the time to make a detailed post... NOT to be lumped into the same category as the "Kill the bitch" folks ?

Loving wives stories are really two types as we all know. One where the hubby know sits back and enjoys it which is just porn... and the other type which are really CHEATING spouses stories which often have the author try to emulate some sense of reality.

In some of these extreme stories.... if the author is going to go off the deep end with actions and behaviors such as we see --Ties that Bind... Margo ....Hildy.... House of cards... June gets even etc.... with the wife engaging is EXCPETIONAL acts of betrayal humilation for NO good reason... and sometime even VIOLENCE where the husbands life is Threaten....

EASY quick reconciliation is simply BULLSHIT. Yet YOU among many here think that any sort of reasonable discussion about WHY a tied up drugged hubby would NOT take the wife back.... is WOMAN hating... and part of Kill the cheating bitch crowd.

Get a clue. Extreme actions OFTEN bring about extreme reactions...

having the wife cry for 2-3 days or the hubby live at the Holiday Inn or geust bedrooom while he realizes that he still loves her and "this is partly My fault'

is NOT sufficent or rational or reasonable

It just isnt

I have become a fan of your writing and this another good example. I could have lived with the ending in Chap 3 but if you felt the need to add a little to it, that is your right. I do not understand why the some of the critics of your writing feel it is necessary to attack you personally. I see that so many of them sign themselves as "anonymous". I wonder why. I hope you say to hell with these people and keep writing. I may not like how you end a story, but I will keep reading. I'm a sucker for happy endings. So please keep giving us great stories. I sure would like to see a conclusion or different ending to "When Sorrows Come". I would love to see the wife's reaction to finding his ring on the table and maybe he might get with the lady in Vegas? (Hint..Hint)

about evil cheating stories in general. Many authors seem very good at digging the wife in and expanding on the husbands sense of loss and betrayal. After they spend so much time setting up the problem and explaining the effects on the innocent spouse, they then look for a magic bullet allowing quick and painless reconciliation. From my pov this is just lazy writing.

Trying to make everything go back to normal by using exenuating circumstances (many authors in many stories about blackmail, misunderstandings, lying 'friends', etc), force of will on the betrayed spouse's part (thecelt to a great degree and many other authors to a lesser degree when they say 'I couldnt let this destroy 20 perfect years', etc) or just selective amnesia (lots of authors dont deal with everything they write into the setup when it comes time for the happily ever after - wife treats the husband like a doormat for years and then gets tricked into cheating - husband has a good cry/piss-up then everything is good because the wife was deceived - forgets all about the years of disrespect that the author led us to believe was also a large issue with husband) is just lazy writing. Maybe Im too much of a nit-picker but its not satisfying from my pov.

I didnt mind this story since it kind of kept the authors options open in case he wants to continue. He can have them reconcile (after dealing with the issues and probably taking a long time and lots of pain on both their parts) or he can have them totally split eventually without making the husband seem too cruel (not that too many people would blame him) for abandoning a mentally unstable wife. It was kinda short and open-ended but it took away the quick-fix that we were left with at the end of chapter 3. It gives the author a chance to deal with the issues brought up in the original ties that bind if he so chooses. Cant hardly blame him for writing this relatively short addendum and getting it up as quick as possible after the amount of shit you guys gave him over the original. Many of the comments were way over the line imo so its hard to blame blue for getting pissed.

Anyway, I hope the author does keep writing and I hope he decides to continue/finish this story line one way or the other (reconciliation or moving on). The original had some good stuff (i.e. wife seemingly having a real breakdown and not just suddenly getting a bit sad because she fucked up so bad and telling the husband she was not in her right mind - happens in some of these stories when the author makes her disfunction seem no more severe than being a bit depressed because she got a bad haircut or something).

I have no problem with reconciliations and I dont even think this wife is unforgivable. She did some pretty vicious shit but they can still be together if the author deals with all the little things left over from the original and puts some time into showing how difficult a true reconciliation would be.

The problems I had with the original story were all the lose ends that were left hanging, not that a reconciliation was implied (instant reconciliations are bad but not reconciliations in and of themselves). In addition to the things that werent dealt with (mentioned by others - why go after long-shot rape when there were several slam-dunk charges they could have nailed the guy with, how was she able to plan so well and keep functioning at a high level job if she was so out of it, if husband was ready to leave over her behaviour before she drugged and humiliated him why did he suddenly forgive that and forget the things that originally made him leave as well, etc), there were some pretty big tangents for a short story in the original. The two lesbians scene and the neighbors somewhat spurious story both took up lots of space and both were mostly red-herrings from what I could see. Instead of dealing with all the real issues left outstanding, the author spend 2/3 of the story off topic. Thats might be ok in a long story (even annoying there though - see Stephan King and his horrible books that are 90% useless padding) but it really wrecks things badly in short story length pieces. The author has to remain fairly focused to even touch on all the issues infidelity creates so bringing in long scenes like the neighbor and lesbians without making them more tightly applicable to the main plot, it really detracts from the story.

Basically, it was the lack of detail and focus in the original that turned me off, not that the author wanted a reconciliation. This story leaves the ending open enough that the author can deal with details later if he wants so I think it was ok in that respect.

Thanks for writing author and I hope you continue (this story or new ones, whatever you want) You will never be able to please all of us but I hope that doesnt discourage you too much since most do appreciate your efforts.

If Blue had typed those few short sentences in his/her "conclusion" installment, most readers --- even the ones who thought Blue wrote a "wimpy husband" story --- would not have any sound reason to bitch.

Why? Because the husband, as concluded here, would have been able to ARTICULATE the very bizzare AS WELL AS serious nature of Shelly's crimes; and they WERE CRIMES indeed.

If you don't such are serious crimes --- try drugging your spouse and tie him or her up like that (you don't even have to have sex in front of them or have them look at your sex acts via remote). If they report it, like hwat happened in this STORY, you who drugged your spouse would be in A LOT OF SERIOUS trouble with the law, EVEN if the spouse decided not to pursuit prosecution against you.

A certain crimes need not the victims' okay for prosecution. Drugging people is likely one of those crimes.

In "reality," then, Shelley's problems were by no means over, and they're not only her "psychological" problems! In fact, in "reality," the DA would more likely CHARGE her or a pershon in her situation, THAN prosecute the other guy for "rape", which NEVER occured,,,

Again, good little story.

Obviously based upon my prior comments I liked this ending better than the original one. I believe that reconciliation can work in these type of stories but it must have consistency with the characters, situation and the drivers in the story.

Suppose you had introduced a sick child who was dependent on Shelly and you had David expressed his love for that child. Then I can see him sticking with Shelly for the child's sake.

Suppose David was a weak person (i.e., he never expressed any convictions about martial fidelity) and he blames himself for Shelly's relapse. Then I can see guilty feelings driving David to stay with her.

Suppose Fallow had a degree in psychological warfare and he drugged Shelly and brainwashed her into believing these lies about David. Fallow has a contract with terrorists to show how his new techniques will work on ordinary Americans. The terrorists want to use these techniques to brainwash normal Americans into secret bomb carrying soldiers. The truth comes out through Homeland Security investigations and they get back together to get their lives back.

Anyway you get the drift. Thanks for the new ending!

SleeplessinMD

Blue, I like the addendum ending much better, I have to agree w/ much of what Risque said, the husband is the true victim here, regardless of the wife's past history, and the undoubted psychological damage done by Fellows, for the wife to drug him, tie him up and have him go through what he went through was unforgiveable. It just was, REGARDLESS of what she was going through otherwise. She obviously was functioning at a high level, was able to plan her actions, luring him over. So, I'm still somewhat put off even by your last ending, I would like to have seen him be able to move on, to a relationship w/ a woman who was not psychotic!

Disappointing that it seemed that you needed to write another ending after getting so many negative feedbacks at the end of chapter 3, it gives the impression that you have given in to the "She's a whore , fuck her off" brigade. Judging from some of the vomit that has spewed forth on this and any other story that may contain any degree of reconciliation, for 90% of them burning her alive at the stake wouldn't be enough - you will never appease them. Write the stories as you see fit, let them go fuck themselves, and judging from their expressed opinions of women, that's probably the best offer they're likely to get.

except for the endoing I gave you 5s. You didn';t really end the story Blue. You didn't tell us what finaly hapend to the SOB who did that to the coupleher co worker. And you didn't really tell us what happened to the husband and wife say a year later. You may want to think about adding a new chapre one yar later. It was a good read and I liked the theme of the story. Bud

Don't EVER let the comments of a critic make you stop writing. I agree that there is a trend for stories in this catagory to set up a terrible, cruel betrayal that is eventually excused by some magic bullet and then everything is hunky-dory. Your expanded ending was a significant improvement in that it addressed the uncertainty of her degree of guilt but still allowed for the husband's feelings. For some anything less than a full reconcilliation is unacceptable, for others the only answer is "Throw the bitch out!" Life is seldom so black and white.

Before I offer a critical comment, let me say that, despite what some commentors have said, I think that this story rates up there with the rest of your stories. It was well written and well constructed. It is your writing ability, and your ability to develop your characters, that compels me to make some, hopefully, constructive criticisms.

It seems to me that in this addendum ending you tried to have the best of both worlds. To divorce her, and satisfy readers who want her kicked to the curb; and to not abandon her (whatever that means) to satisfy those wishing a reconciliation of some sort. It just does not work!

In the process of cutting the child in half, you missed a really great opportunity to show the effect of this type of marital discord on the characters of both parties. They both were in the process of personality modification.

To abruptly end the story without further developing that change and without showing the real effect of that change on both of them, and their marriage, is to miss out on an opportunity to do what you do best. I think you shortchanged yourself, not just the reader.

I continue to be amazed at the tendency of Lit.com writers, especially in the LW genre, to be so concerned about how readers respond to their endings. Writers should write THEIR stories, and not be intimidated by a few discordant readers. Readers do have the right to comment, but writers should only pay attention to those comments that are constructive, and then only to use them as a future reference. To hell with the rest!

I hope that this is helpful. Thanks for your stories, and keep up the good work.

Cheers!

Some comments about the story in general: the author's style is good and his prose decent. There are some grammatical errors that detract from the quality.

The characters are reasonably well-done but act in ways that are a bit extreme. I caught myself more than once asking early in the story "Why doesn't the husband suggest marital counseling to his wife? She's used to talking to therapists about her problems so I would guess she'd accept the idea." Didn't happen as Blue had another path in mind.

I have to be critical of the narrative drive in the story. In fact, the author wanders the landscape with incidental characters (Susan, George) that really don't add anything to the main plot. They distracted me and more than once I thought, "Sheesh. Get on with it." as I was reading.

Bob, as an impact character, is weakly drawn. On the one hand, his facade is that of a devoted family man but somehow he's a twisted, evil, conniving bastard who's wrapped up in the idea of avenging himself on the Lannisters. It doesn't make sense and his character isn't credible. That lack of credibility damages the story and, worse, Bob is so unimportant in the end that the author never deigns to tell us what happened to him.

In a previous comment that I posted on Chapter 1, I mentioned what I consider to be a plot hole in the story. Here's a second one. I don't find it credible that Bob is a rapist. For the charge to stick, the prosecutor would have to prove that Bob knew Shelly was mentally unbalanced, something which would be very hard to do, IMO. Bob is certainly a criminal, for he obtained the drug(s) used to incapacitate David and it might be argued that he conspired with Shelly to commit assault but rape? I don't think so. In my mind, that damaged the story.

I had hoped the tale would improve with subsequent chapters. It didn't. I thank you, Blue, for your efforts to entertain and I always look forward to your stories.

Very well crafted story. The characters have depth.

You spun a very interesting web for us. As always your writing quality is superb.

The hanging ending in this story I liked quite a bit better than some of kiss and makeup endings to your other stories.

What I do have a problem with is your integration of your heroine’s mental problems and the time element involved. IF she was a borderline paranoid schizophrenic (which I doubt very much from her behavior) and even a borderline case sufficiently to have done what you wrote she had done, her behavior just after that infidelity would not have been that what you wrote, her behavior later even far less possible.

Advanced mental illnesses do not change abruptly. We cannot jump from one behavior to another intuitively. Only cognitively can a person act out a behavioral pattern in opposition to their normal behavior. Either her actions prior to and during the infidelity was an act, or her behavior afterwards an act. Both cannot be true. Therefore your modus ponens argumentation that her mental illness was the cause of her infidelity is an unsound argumentation.

The same holds true for the behavior of their old friend George Malone. IF he did not have large doubts about his behavior before, such a sudden change of mental outlook is not possible. A man who has had multiple one night flings cannot mentally be having any major doubts about his behavior. He has already gone through a massive process of justification. His mental image of himself and his world around him would not allow for such to happen…. end of story. Again a modus ponens argumentation that is unsound.

This ending is much better. But Harry is correct. Sure he is extreme and nasty but he is right in THIS case. The wife's action were nothing short of attempted murder. How this david guy could over look it... is hard to see. Doesnt he wonder what might happen time she hears a rumor?

This is life! Most situations aren't black and white - they tend to be shades of grey. You have created a finely crafted vinyette of life. Children (of any age) can't compete with the quality of the finished piece, so they attempt to destroy. Temper tantrums define the attacker, not the creator of the piece under attack.

Shelly and David live - in my mind. Thank you for the great read

Max

Actually, I like both endings. In my mind the outcome was the same but then my education and profession is in mental health. Don't worry I wasn't going to knock you on your use of labels. My point is that I find it takes a certain type of person to work in this field. They tend to view behavior differently than most people. Often asking why a person is behaving the way they are, the emphasis on the behavior rather then judging the person. Just like some of the comments the author receives. I enjoy reading those almost as much as the story. When I read those that lash out and really pummel the author I see a person that truly doesn't understand behavior. Anyway, having read most of your stories posted on this site I think you are a very talented writer. I also feel I know how you perceive behavior and that you have a very firm grasp on why people behave the way they do. I know that it is a writer's job to entertain their readers but take your knowledge of behavior and view the comments in that light. Don't let them discourage or pressure you into writing an uncharacteristic ending. That having been said, I would have gone all the way with the healing of Shelly with David at her side gradually trusting each other and then relying on each other. Also, I think you missed a great opportunity to introduce Shelly's reaction to the tape recording of Bob confessing that David recorded while tied up. I would have loved to seen that. Let's face it Shelly isn't the only one that needs healing after what David went through. For those that say David could never trust her again are wrong. Her condition could be cured especially with David's involvement. In fact, it would creat such a strong bond between them that more than likely it could never be question or broken again. Excellent story the best I've read of this nature.(husband tied and forced to watch wife) KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK

1 - Don't let the 'schmucks' get you down.

2 - When you've written a quality piece of 'fiction' as this certainly is and receive feedback -especially in a'cheating' Loving Wife story- from "The Usual Suspects", just see line #1. As l've suspected and written elsewhere, these guys have likely not truly loved a real woman (other than mommy) the real world.

#3- Note to the schmucks (also -see a Yiddush-English dictionary for "schmuck") "IT'S A STORY!l"

#4-ln spite of what you said, l saw NO weakness in your first version and though l did prefer the second, they both worked for me. Thanks for the stories. - BUDD

neither ending finished this story? keep trying. you may geet it right down the road?

I'm sorry for your experience.

This is your story and the morons who give you such stick deserve to be left in solitary with instructions to write a story that anybody would give a crap about.

You have given your artistic licence to entertaining us and I abhor the parasites who denigrate your efforts.

I, for one, enjoyed the story. Please don't let the naysayers win. Please keep demonstrating your undoubted talents for our collective enjoyment.

Thank you for your efforts, which I have thoroughly enjoyed.

Good luck - you are a talented writer.

No this one does not work out. He should have leaved her once and for all, this must be your first wimp story that i've seen...He is not responsible for her insanity... She made her choices and acted out on them.. Not all stories can have happy endings... Sorry but this sucks.. None of your alternativ endings are sufficient here, and that mind fucker? he walks away with a prison sentence only, not if I would have been near my friend. Then he wouldn't have walked at all..cheers Yoron

I can't say I enjoyed this version of an ending. I think it would have been better to either left the original alone or maybe flesh it out a bit. She didn't really have full control over her actions and every professional and their dog was telling that same story. Divorce because the wife was mentally abused by some prick. Yeah. OK.

Hey Blue I loved your characters and either endings although I tended to favor the original one. It was short but it had more oomph. The alternate ending was not bad but I felt you were catering to some negative responses rather than what you truly felt.

Keep it up man!!

I greatly enjoyed this and most of your other stories. I did however think that both endings were weak. I think that you headed in the right direction either way but that they needed to be fleshed out like the rest of the story had been. Personally I hope I would have acted pretty much how this guy did, she may have been psychologically troubled and not really responsible for her actions during the 'incident,' but she should have spoken to her husband sooner. Her past affected her ability to do that, perhaps. However, its a story and was well written. As far as the end went I think it would have been nice to have carried it further - after counseling for the two of them it would have been great if they eventually dated and worked things out. Or not, maybe he found someone else and they just remained friends. Either way, I guess I'm a sucker for cut and dry endings (happy ones if things can be worked out that way).

Even on reconsideration, your protagonist is a pussy.

Somewhat better ending, but he's still a wuss!

It makes no difference at all which way he goes. forgive her and he's a pathetic wimpy loser. stomp on her with all of his anger and rage, then he's a cold hearted sob with no redeeming social characteristics whatsoever. the old damned if you do and damned if you don't situations that exist in all our lives will never be resolved to our satisfaction, much less anyone else's. in the end we do the best we can with what we have, shovel dirt on the pile of shit, and wait for the end to come. Good story and thanks for your efforts.

Blue, thanks for the story. This second ending is much better. You are a talented writer. I don't usually wrote comments. But I'm a professional writer with many published books (for over thirty years now) and wanted to encourage you to ignore those who read without understanding, most simply to get themselves excited, and need to express their own self-frustration. Keep at it, you have entertained many and will only get better the more you write. There are many things of quality in your writing and the thousands of choices you make as you work will define your writing future. Good luck.

The previous ending held more weight than this.

Honestly, this end sucks a bit.

And, some pointers ... there have been many instances when the reader, this case Me, was absolutely astonished with the the husband-guy when even after listening to the confessions of the villain and also having been, albeit partially, aware of his wife's psychological problem, still turned a blind eye to the issue.

So my dear friend, you have a good idea but you haven't chiseled the whole sculpture smoothly yet, it has been a rough on some edges.

Our narrator forgets everything he's learned from George and the Dr., speaks of hatred that has not reflected anywhere earlier, speaks of resenting the dtrug and what might have been (come off it!), and addresses her self-righteously and pompously as if any self-respecting woman -- once she regains her self-respect -- could tolerate a future with such a prig. To moralize his self-pity with a manipulated recovering psychotic? Tsk.

The first ending was way too brief but was a token of the only way love, understanding, and compassion should carry him, given all of the circumstances as he knows them (not assumes them or hopes or trusts they are, but knows them). But this one betrayed the man I thought he was and he had learned he could be. Scrap it and explore the previous one more!

I liked the first ending better, as it let the reader make up the ending for themsevles. I read your note to the readers. I think you missed the point that no matter what the response to the story, you more than did your job by making people think. You have to know that it is easier to ridicule than it is to praise something, it makes people feel superior to put you down. Don't let these nay sayers stop you from doing what you like and bring joy to the rest of us Your readers. Thanks I hope to see more of your work soon. Nov 5 2010

The problem is not with just the ending, it's from the ending of his captivity onward. Almost everyone in the story is concerned about Shelly and shows almost no concern about him. Lyle is interested in making a case for rape. The police come and have the same interest. Lyle takes him to his house but all that he wants to talk about is the rape case. The police call him to the precinct and all they want to talk about is the rape. Daffy George tells a long story that has nothing to do with the situation and the moral of which is that the man is a cheating bastard and the wife is a saint for putting up with him. Susan is the only character that recognizes that HE is hurting and is there for him. <br><br>

Here's a mini story: A good wife's husband comes home and brutally sexually assaults her and beats her. Then he leaves. She calls friends and all they talk about is finding her husband. The police come and all they are concerned about is finding her husband so he doesn't harm himself. Later they find the husband and he's been in a bar fight and is in the hospital. It turns out he had a horrible day at work and was cheated in an investment scheme and lost a lot of money. The police want to talk with her further to see if she knows anything about the investment scheme so that they can build a case for fraud. Her friends are worried about her husband and tell her he is going to need a lot of her support. Finally the wife limps into the hospital, one eye still swollen shut, her lip split. She is still wearing pads because she is bleeding from the hard sex. The nurses say her husband is still in pain but should recover. They are worried because he is still upset about his work problems and investment loss. They hope his wife can help him feel better. She limps into her husband's room and he says "I'm sorry I was so forceful but I was upset.", WHAT ABOUT THE WIFE??? No one cares about her. <br><br>

This is the kind of story you wrote. The wife's mental illness makes her behavior understandable but it can never be made acceptable. You tried to make her behavior acceptable because of her illness. It doesn't work and it is offensive to ignore and trivialize his pain. The damage someone causes because they are mentally ill, or drunk, or drugged is still REAL damage and they are responsible for doing it. And victims shouldn't be left blowing in the wind.

Earlier comments made by others to the effect that this tale lets a cheating, slut, wife off with "grace" still are valid. There is NO justice for him..and no justice for her. Still a "1" score. Author, you have developed a characteristic of justifying cheating wives.

What is more humanistic, justice or forgiveness? Once you answer this question honestly then tell the author this story is crap. Until then use a mokim of understanding for things that are distasteful to you

Great story! Reading it really scared me. This is a wife from hell, the guy should pack his stuff and get the hell out, there are a lot of fish in the sea and it`s unnecessary to waste away your life with someone this sick...

Thank you for the new ending. It is much more in spirit with the story. Too much pain to continue the marriage but enough love to want her to get well.

The writing shows the work of a crafted hand,,, but the story itself still stays in an unrealistic maner as far as who is responsible for what, and to what degree. I have read many of your previous stories and liked most all of them very much, but I am sorry to say this one just didn't strike my fancy. Please continue writing, I do like your writing, you are quite good at it. R.T.

how does having Susan and Connie - a college profossor and a Doctor, play strip poker with david, then Laugh at his cock, after his wife drugged him, tied him up and tortured him, help?

anyone?

David says this in chapter 3

"Shelly's reaction was perhaps a bit draconian."

David a 100% innocent man is drugged, tied up, and tortured. Yet he thinks his wife's actions **MIGHT** have been a BIT draconian?

in EVERY story Blue88 has ever written... the husband is always advised by NUMEORUS friend and families to First not take any "rash" actions...

THEN he is asked THEN pressure to understand WHY the wife did this or did that or said this or said that.

that is all all fine and good but how come in Bluee88 stories NO one ... ever puts any pressure on the wife?

How come all the husband and wife's mutual friends gather around to support HER?

we write what we know, often, if not always, of course. Blue's themes are cathartic to the man...you dig? I've enjoyed a lot of his writing some and some stories a lot...Mancelt.

A miata? Around the Korean War? REALLY?

Other then that, it was a good story

Because clearly his "friends" and family are more concerned about the state of his marriage, and his wife's pain than his own emotional and physical well being. The story that his army buddy told him was completely irrelevant to David as there are too many differences between them, as a result the army buddy comes across as an emotionally weak man.

There are too many inconsistencies to create a believable story and characters, as this in turn prevents the plot from transitioning well. I know you tried to portray David as an intelligent man with deeply conflicting emotions, but his faults and flaws seemed to overshadow everything else about him. This epilogue was the only saving grace to this story.

While this criticism is harsh, I've enjoyed almost all of your stories with the exception of this one.

At least it didn't end in a complete RAAC. That for blue is progress.

This guy (Blue88) had tremendous talent. I really like his style of writing. I see real improvement in his plot with this story.

This ending is not bad.

How many years did Shelly get for unlawful restraint?

This story went off in way too many tagnets you had a good premise in the first chapter but then you seemed to get lost and the story suffered for it and left a lot of un answered questions behind

This female character is a powder keg waiting to blow...you would have thought the husband would be heading for the hills. He could still return to testify against her and her lover for numerous assault charges.

This was a good story in that it made me think. It certainly had its problems. The many errors in grammar were distracting, for one. The whole plot was, for sure, one that was a cause for deep reflection.

To say that the wife had mental problems is too much of an understatement. It would be more appropriate to say the bitch was bat shit crazy. Her actions were not just cruel and heartless, they were criminal. Her coworker is just as guilty as a conspirator. It's a bit of a stretch that a DA would only charge him with rape. The drugging and the flat out kidnapping would have landed on him as well. The wife would have probably avoided criminal charges due to her mental condition, but she certainly would not have received the gentle treatment she got in this story. She most assuredly would have been commited to a mental institution. This woman is dangerous, and she commited a horrid crime, inflicting great emotional damage to her husband.

I do have to give you kudos for one aspect of the story. While you had the husband willing to help her through her mental recovery, at least you didn't try to make us swallow the couple continuing a marital relationship. That he would have any relationship with her at all, while still a stretch, is at least within the realm of possibility. To have these two regain any semblance of a marriage would strain credulity beyond any semblance of belief. Three stars.

I can't believe that I read that whole story. What a putrid ending,

the doctor told him that he can not stay married out of pitty, and he told her that he hates her, so ....??? and he was ready to leave her before this incident , so .....i gues you can never bring yourself to make him leave her...this is why the ending seems out of place.

so whats the problem, her battiness. TK U MLJ LV NV

This ending made a bit more sense then the one before. He told her of his feelings & didn't just reconcile. I totally agree with David ( I called him Dave in previous comment.. Sorry) when a spouse pull such stints such as Shelly pulled the consequences can be fatal, the fact that she didn't consider this is a bit scary, if what she wanted was to "get even" why not just go out & fuck some prick? Why is it so important to drug & tie him up and let him watch the nightmare? I understand the logic for this is so the spouse can feel the pain but why risk totally destroying your marriage? Shelly has trust issues that are never going to be resolved if she keeps placing all men in the "cheater" catagory. I don't really like the fact that instead of just leaving the marriage she rationalized a revenge fuck would be better. I've read your stories & actually like some of them but I didn't enjoy this story too much because of the total stupidity of the wife and the husband not being able to make a decision... I liked this ending much much better which has changed my opinion of the hubby somewhat. But I think instead of him taking advice from well meaning friends/semi-adoptive parents he should've been able to conclude in the first ending that the marriage was finish. No matter how the therapist tried to minimize her responsibility doesn't change my opinion of her... If all of us brought our baggage from past relationships into new relationships, divorce rates would be much higher than they already are now. Trust , fidelity, communication, love & respect is the key to a successful marriage you can't have one without the other because then the marriage won't last. Shelly has no respect, lacks communication, lack trust & I doubt she really loved David, their marriage was missing crucial ingredients needed to make a marriage work, with her trust issues it was only a matter of time before she pulls something like this again if he stayed married to her, the first round of therapy didn't seem to cure her issues with trust so I highly doubt it would cure it now but hey they say 3rd times the charm..

You made him a real man. I applaud the second effort. Well done.

I don't necessarily agree with the change you've made. I think a natural human reaction to pain and grief is to look for excuses that allow us to try and resume as close to normal a life as possible. David knew Shelly's past, including her need of therapy, and almost certainly respected and believed the impact it had on her, otherwise he would probably not have maintained such a long courtship or the years of marriage that were so happy until George's interference. Add that to the clear certainty that Shelly was not in her right mind, and you have a perfectly justifiable situation for any mentally healthy man wishing to protect his own psyche- and the perception of the reality best for his own happiness- to accept the situation at least enough to try and work through it with his wife. Even the law as stated in the story confirms to him that his wife was not at fault, or at the least was severely taken advantage of. There are many factors here that support the tone of the first ending better. Personally, my only gripe with the first ending would be to expand on it, exploring the process of healing the relationship. It could even end in the process failing- either David understanding eventually that the pain would never ease enough for him to be happy again, or Shelly never being able to reach a place in her recovery that she could provide a healthy or happy relationship for David. Either of these conclusions, or some other, would be believable after a deeper exploration of the feelings and possible situations of the characters.

I will say, though, that I read every chapter of this story and all in one sitting. I will read your other stories, because- though I may not agree with this particular ending- overall, I was drawn into this one so well. I appreciate you writing it and hope you continue to write more.

Weak ending, my friend. Changing a character within a few paragraphs didn't work for me at all. Never, ever, appease the masses in this forum. Always, stay true to yourself. And, stay thirsty my friend.

at least now he has some shreds of dignity.

I liked your second ending better. It left hope, it made sense, and it was done in such a way that ended this story in a way that did not/does not require a sequel.

Still no cigar. The first ending was fine with me and perhaps even better then the second. It was presumptuous of you to think you could fix things with 8 paragraphs. Again, I liked the concept of the story and felt it was simply greater then you could handle. And again, good luck.

its just that the story line sucks, but maybe you think that all men wear frilly pink panties,

I did go back and read most of your stories after I said that i would not after I castigated you so bitterly over that other story that you ended so abruptly with the death of his (ex) wife. I am glad that you put the addendum to this one. I realize that most stories can't have a happy ending (I love happy endings) but the abrupt endings just bother me. I am old enough and should be wise enough to not growl so harshly at the authors. I read at least 6 hours a day (I am old and retired, also lazy). I have liked most of the other stories of your that I read. I will refrain from being so vitriolic and I applaud your efforts in writing. I also have defects, too. Please forgive me for being so harsh. Lamar

It has a better feel to it -

He is maintaining his integrity and gaining back some of his self respect while doing the right thing for her -

For those who think he should just swallow it AGAIN and be there for her as the loving husband when he is not truly committed to it are wrong and the doctor was right - it is better to do what he has to then stick with her out of pity.

It seems likely they will again find each other as the George and Betty did but that is another story.

I think you did a good job with a hard story of extreme emotional betrayal. You are a good story teller, and despite some errors that a pro editor might have caught, they didn't distract too much from the emotions you tried to convey, and I feel that you achieved that success. This ending IS better, but still incomplete. I think for as much build-up to this final confrontation, and descision (I mean it took three chapters to get there!), the dialogue of this ending needed to be longer. He needed to tell her more. He needed to share with her the pain of his journey to assure her that they were still in this place of needed healing together. It could no longer be all about her. My suggestion would be for him to get her to understand that the marriage WAS destroyed and could NOT continue. To facillitate healing they need to bury the past of the failed marriage and end it with the divorce. However, the NEXT step would be focusing on their FRIENDSHIP. Can they get to that place, where they can be friends? In time, with therapy, could they rebuild enough trust in eachother, to move from friendship to dating? With even more time, could they make a NEW commitment to eachother, focused on total open communication? Then, and only then, maybe they could get remarried, the past gone, but never forgotton. Blue, you wouldn't have had to spell all of this out, or maybe just hinted at it epilogue style, but for the ending to have been more fullfilling, laying out the plan of how the couple moved forward, and what the eventual result was, would have been the conclusion truley needed after this long emotional roller coaster that I know I wasn't alone in enjoying. Thanks for your efforts, I looking forward to reading your other work, and although I know you have long put this tale to bed, I hope this belated comment might help in some way towards your future work.

Your write very well. This story is very melancholy and should be labeled as such. I am uncertain as to the author's intent with the way the story ties to the title. It is a sincere wish never to meet with a therapist depicted here. The therapist are almost as hopeless as the theme.

Blue88 should be writing cuck stories, instead of this:

his wife believes some scumback instead of her husband, then drugs him and fucks her lowlife stud for her husband humiliation.

Then he forgives his wife/ whore, etc....

What the hubby should have done was:

1. castrate the bull as a minimum or arrange his death;

2. Sell his whore into mexican whorehouse or worse.

still fucking cuck garbage.

Ok I've read all of this story. I have to problems with how it was written and it held my attention throughout... However, She was NOT mentally ill when she drugged her husband and allowed a bastard to fuck her. She was being manipulated, but the real mental breakdown came when she realized what she had just done. She had so little trust or respect for her husband that she would do this to him. There is no way that I would aid in her recovery, in any way shape or form. She brought the breakdown upon herself and he has no moral obligation to lend her aid.

I had problems with this story but it held my interest like a broken down applecart on a railway with the sound of a high speed freight train enroute. However, the content was implausible and illogical yet interesting.

hurt her feelings.

with your girlieman bitching. But not until, yeah?

If your female you can do no wrong? thats what happens here and then the man haters love the guy forgiving her because she was sick..to bad we cant take people like her and put them on a island like the lepers of old, mercy is for the weak not the abusive spouse, i killed my kids post pregnancy bullshit, i destroyed my husband its my hormones, yeah she is a perfect example of womanhood,blue88 writes man bashing stories like MM and so many others except they slowly destroy the male leads by making them commit self respect suicide in the stories they write, but if this is the world they want great abuse with out remorse, forgiveness without redemption, marriages with out women just breeding females, even with or even more so with mental issues there comes a point to pull the plug and you end them...they become a living cancer and any man that just takes this abuse without kicking her to the curb is worse than her, and you know they are white guys..why is that..because due to an antiquated morality that says a woman's life is more important than a mans, that justice is not a physical act, that forgiveness at any cost is better than rejection of evil people(christian church crap), the vows of marriage are there till broken and once that is done the contract between man woman and god(if religious ceremony) is over, and now all bets are off all you have to do spiritually is tell your ex its over but you still need legal divorce, physical and mental abuse ends a marriage, in this story she is a retard a full blown evil woman but he forgives her and takes her back..why..no reason is given hence it is a weak MM story type.. mental issues are used so much to today to cover up just being a evil person.Personally i would take her on a world tour and just ditch her in a heroin house in some 3rd world place..there now you are mentally and physically fucked, move somewhere new and start over, she is of no importance and you are of no importance to her she showed that.

Creampie lovers like anon at 8-27. They take personally any criticism leveled at their beloved cuck/wimp stories. How empty must their lives be to become so invested in another person's fairy tale.

Garfield, flush toilets, the sun, etc. Since it is a closet cuck, a below-average IQ is de rigueur. Not to worry closet-cucky, your lack of cock and balls makes it impossible for your defective genes to pass to a new generation. All is good!

@ Are you the same frustrated bull, whose cuckold hotwife pair moved to other city and now you have not any cuckold who licks your cock??????

You call this an ending??????? Yuck

This is illogical.

shut the fuck up moron, cuckold to the queer guy for the cuckold eye

You are right. You are disgusting.

.....Obviously has a 3.5" erect dicklet. Probably a wife beater, IF the wife is smaller than he is. otherwise, she would probably kick the shit out of the little dicklet.

That being said, I enjoyed the ending. I was fearful he would take her back and was pleased when he didn't. She has a sickness that will make everyone around her as miserable as she is for the rest of her life.