All Comments on 'The Timestop Gift'

Great presentation of a very fun idea. Only flaw was the main character's lack of concern at the end of potentially getting the lady pregnant - makes him rather less likeable.

Awesome story! Hope you continue it!

But ended worse.

It was one thing to rape the women when there would be no lasting after effects. Hell, they didn’t even know what had happened; but he pretended to like Amy, seduced her and impregnated her without even a moments concern.

It was disappointing watching him go from a horny young man to a douchebag.

A great story until the end. He went from a somewhat likeable guy to a real prick. It turned what would have been a great story into a real piece of crap.

Need more of this story, thanks

More!!!

Would have been better ending with John saying "OH Shit, the condom broke right as I came."

Hi everyone, thank you for the feedback. I agree with most people here. I'm not happy with the end of this story either. I sort of defaulted back to my asshole-dude motif which wasn't really appropriate for this story. This was originally going to be a one-off story, but since people seemed to like it so much, and because i'm not happy with the ending, I'm going to write a sequel.

If you have any more suggestions on how I could improve please message me or leave a comment here.

Thanks all!

The bitch in the market? Okay. The surfer girl? Maybe. The Lottery? What an idiot! He can't win the Lottery over and over and over again without raising suspicions. At least wait for the prize to be big enough to make it worthwhile. That would also allow him to steal other money and fudge his expenditures. But breaking the condom fucking Amy? That was just mean and nasty. A trip to the drugstore saves her but, given the possibilities, that ending was disappointing.

I did not read this to hear about your political beliefs or about some asshole impregnating an innocent girl who was already having issues affording her basic necessities and had a waitressung job. Yikes.

Think his douchebaggery made it enjoyable in my opinion

He should have stopped time to hide that he came in her. Would just need to clean the cum out of her, and use her timestopped body and come in a fresh condom.

the endless things you can do and push a story with the ability to stop time and he barley did anything cool with it. walked 10 miles to fix the lotto when he could of found a bar or anything close bye to watch from a tv. i mean do bikes stop working cause time is frozen..lastly poor amy.

I liked this one a lot! Actually it’s my favorite of your time stop stories. I feel like your protagonist was really fleshed out and felt believable. At first I was like wtf about him not trying to hide that he came in her, because there were so many directions to take the story from there. But honestly, after a few minutes I decided I really liked it. You were at the end of the story you wanted to tell, and that little flash of corruption, like the first step of a good guy going bad, was intriguing. Plus, I’m hardcore into control and reluctance stories, so that bastard vibe really sets well with me :’) All in all, it was great. This site is far too harsh with its criticisms. You’re a great author and I hope you continue bringing us fics!!