The Training of Jeff Stintum Ch. 01

Chapter 1: The Waiting Room

Jeff Stintum had begun to suspect that his party-hardy, rock-and-roll lifestyle was coming back to haunt him. For six years, ever since his graduation from college, he had done almost nothing but enjoy himself, barely managing to pay his bills by working in the local restaurant. It was a far cry from what had been expected of him when he was 18, a bright young boy who excelled in school and aimed to be a doctor. But in college he had started to challenge the authority around him, and by the time he (barely) graduated, he was sticking it to "The Man" full time. For the next six years he played drums in his band, The Wretched Loners; he went to parties thrown by his friends; he drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney. When his friends wanted to try other drugs, he tried them too. He had no ambitions, no goals, no real plans for the future. After all, weren't "plans" just a servile, meaningless way to fit into the "system?"

Gradually, however, Jeff Stintum began to notice some changes in his body. He had a persistent cough that never really went way. Every morning he would wake up hung over, and didn't have enough energy to do much of anything till mid-afternoon. This pattern eventually led to him getting fired from his restaurant job, so he began living off money from his begrudging parents. His drinking and smoking appetites were now eclipsing his appetite in a major way, and he began losing weight. Jeff was already a smaller man, but he used to be "chiseled," as they say, when he first began playing drums six years before, at 22. His band didn't play much anymore, however — much of the group had moved on to other musical projects, and Jeff, now at 28, had lost his one source of exercise. This fact, along with years of hard living, explained why he was losing much of his muscle mass. But none of this mattered to Jeff. He was living outside the system, and doing what he wanted. So there.

Even he couldn't ignore this pain in his hip, though. It had begun as a dull pain a couple of years before, but as the months stacked up, the pain intensified, to the point where Jeff had to walk with a limp. His friends had urged him to get an x-ray, but Jeff had so far refused, retorting that hospitals were just phony, for-profit machines run by corrupt bureaucrats. Finally, one day after his mother saw him simply fall down, she had yelled at him: "Jeff!! Look at you!! You can't even stand up!! Look at your legs — you're getting so skinny and you're in so much pain!! GO TO THE HOSPITAL OR WE'RE CUTTING YOU OFF!" He didn't really have much of an option now.

And so here he was in the hospital waiting room, looking up disdainfully into the fluorescent lights and glancing suspiciously at the fish tank. He crossed his hands in his lap as he looked down at his blue jeans. It was true, he had definitely gotten smaller. His baggy jeans (which were a size small men's) hardly looked like they contained any legs at all. His mind jumped away from the thought. 'Plenty of rock stars are skinny,' he thought. 'That's why people are jealous of —" "JEFF STINTUM!"

His thought stopped dead in its tracks, but not because his name had been called. It was WHO had called it. Standing there next to the attendant's desk, with full wavy blond hair that cascaded down a short-sleeve royal blue scrubs top, a folder and clipboard in one hand and smiling like the sun, was Sarah Helleger. Jeff was dumbstruck — she was a woman now, that was for sure. He couldn't speak or move. Sarah's smile widened and she beckoned him to her with a manicured hand. Jeff struggled up and limped over to her, and it was only then that he realized that she was taller than him — a good bit taller, at least three or four inches. He glanced desperately down at her shoes and saw that she was wearing flats.

He looked back up into her radiant face, which had begun to descend as she leaned in for a hug. Her ams easily engulfed his body and she squeezed, not very hard for her, but as far as Jeff was concerned he literally felt her squeeze the air out of him. He attempted to wrap his arms around her in kind, but could only manage halfway around her back with either arm. How could she have gotten so big??

"Oh Jeff," she said warmly as she released him and stood back up to her full height, "it's so lovely to see you."

"Great...to see you too," Jeff managed, getting his breath back. "I didn't realize you had already graduated."