The Ugly Duckling

"You couldn't help that."

"No, I suppose not. You know I didn't do..."

"Yes, I know."

Another silence ensued, broken by the arrival of Alice with tea.

"David," she asked, "have you ever been to Point Dolphin before?"

"No, never."

Anna, when you finished your tea why don't you go for a walk with David and show him around."

Anna saw a chance of protecting her self and said, "Yes, that's a good idea, we can take Tessa and Ben can come in the pram."

Alice saw through her ploy and said, "Tessa's gone to play with a friend and I don't want Ben going out because he's got a bit of sniffle."

And so Anna was condemned to a walk alone with David.

The tea drunk they headed for the beach and as they walked Anna asked, "Is Josh very angry with me?"

"Let's just say he's not very happy about you, but Deborah is furious. She says she'll break off the engagement if he ever has anything to do with you again."

"You can hardly blame her," Anna said contritely.

"No, I suppose not but...look, I didn't come just to see how you are."

"I'd wondered about that," Anna replied. "I mean, you could just have asked over the phone and..."

"I wanted to see you again. We had such a bad start and I thought we might pick up the threads again...make a fresh start...that is...if you want to."

"I can't understand why you're interested David, a drunken abusive woman who must have looked ghastly and..."

"We all have our good and bad days Anna."

"My God David, you are forbearing. How do you know I don't often have bad days like that?"

David grinned and said, "If I don't see something of you I'll never find out, will I?"

"But I still don't understand; why on earth do you want anything to do with me?"

"Oh, come on Anna, that's pretty obvious isn't it?"

"Obvious? It isn't obvious to me."

"All right, I'd better reveal my sordid motives. When Josh and I came to pick you up the night of the celebration and I saw you, I thought what an attractive girl you are and how I hoped that evening wouldn't be the only one."

Anna almost made one of her self-disparaging remarks but she had been lectured enough by Alice about that to stop her self just in time.

In the silence that followed she weighed what David had said, and asked herself if she wanted to see more of David.

As if picking up her vibes David said, "Of course it's really a matter of whether you want to see more of me or not. Look, I hope you won't mind me saying this, but I think I understand about you and Josh."

"Josh!"

"I think you're in love with him. I also think that's what you're behaviour was about that evening. You were devastated when Josh announced his engagement. Even in the car I could see how badly you'd taken it."

"Since you seemed to have seen through me, yes, I was in love with Josh, I had been for years, and I'd hoped that...well its all pointless now; the best girl won."

"Did she? I don't think so Anna, and I think Josh won't think so for much longer. I've got to see a bit of Deborah -- not much -- but enough to know she's a spoiled brat. I suppose you know she's the potential heiress to a fortune when daddy goes to that great stock market in the skies.

"No, I didn't know that," Anna gasped.

"Well it's true, but what about my question, would you mind if I saw more of you?"

"If you think it worthwhile," Anna said, trying to sound casual.

David laughed, "That's another thing I won't know until I get to know you better."

Anna glanced at her watch and said, "Alice will be getting lunch, we'd better turn back."

Over lunch David met Harry who had returned from Saturday morning surgery. They seemed to get on well, and spent most of the lunchtime talking about fishing, the dangerous currents off the Point, and where the best snapper were to be caught. There was some suggestion that David should return, perhaps for a weekend, and they would go out fishing in Harry's five metre fishing boat.

From having looked forward with considerable trepidation to David's visit, and actually having wanted to avoid him completely, Anna now felt slightly irritated that Harry was taking up so much of David's attention.

Tessa eyed David somewhat curiously, as if trying to make up her mind where he fitted into the scheme of things. Ben took David's presence in his stride and happily coated his face with some sort of puree.

Alice seemed to be taking a great interest in David, and momentarily Anna, rather unworthily, thought that Alice might be getting a crush on him.

Anna's head had stopped aching and the buzzing noise had diminished considerably. She thought it strange because she hadn't noticed this happening. She wondered what would happen after lunch.

Lunch over it was David who settled what was to happen.

"I'll have to get back to town," he said, "I've still got some reports to prepare about my stay in London, and some schedules to get ready for staff training."

"When can you visit again David, next weekend?" Alice asked. Anna thought she sounded a trifle too eager.

David glanced at Anna but she gave him no sign of agreement or non-agreement.

Harry said, "You could stay over night and we could go out a try our luck in the boat; what do you say?"

"Well, if I wouldn't be too much trouble."

Harry laughed and said, "If you'd be too much trouble I wouldn't have asked you; so that's settled."

As David drove away Anna had a strange hollow feeling in her stomach.

Back in the kitchen Alice burst out, "Well, you've certainly hooked a good one there Anna."

"I haven't hooked him, and I wasn't fishing for him. He just came to see how I was." She knew this wasn't the case but wasn't prepared to admit it.

"He drove all that way just to enquire after your health? Don't give us that Anna, he came for more than giving you a health check," Harry said.

"Such a good looking young man, and so courteous," Alice added.

Anna knew they were right, but embarrassed she blushed and fled to her bedroom.

* * * * * * * *

The next day, Sunday, Anna found herself alone with Alice for a couple of hours, Harry having taken the children to the beach. Her sister took advantage of being alone with her to raise a matter she had been thinking over since their talk about their parents.

Sitting in the garden under the shade of an apricot tree, Alice said, "When we spoke about you're studying law, you didn't sound too happy about it; how do you feel?"

Anna shrugged; "Its okay, but I feel it isn't what I really want to do, but I don't know what else I could do."

"You love children don't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why not think of working with them?"

"Doing what?"

"How about a kindergarten teacher?"

"You mean drop law...change courses?"

"Yes, why not if you're not happy in what you're doing."

Alice paused for a moment and then went on, "It's time to stop trying to please mother and father; they're dead and it wouldn't have worked even if they were still alive; we were just their little accidents."

"You may be right," Anna said speculatively, "I'll think about it."

"Look, it's getting close to the end of the academic year, then there's the long break. If you decide to make the change, then why bother to sit the end of year exams. Stop here with us until you have to sign up for the new course."

"I will think about it Alice," Anna repeated.

That ended the matter for the time being.

The following weekend David drove straight to Point Dolphin from work, arriving late on Friday evening.

This time Anna felt none of the apprehension she had experience the previous weekend. She was looking forward to his arrival and had even planned some of the things they might do together. This was in a sense a new experience for her because such dates as she'd had, even if they got past the first time, which they rarely had, were always arranged by the men.

She found, however, that she wasn't going to have David all to herself. Harry was to take him out on Sunday morning in the boat fishing.

Thinking about this, she realised that she had known little about Josh's interests for all that she had known him for several years. She knew he played football, but that was about all apart from his amorous activities. He had come to her when he wanted her help, or when he was fixing up a date with her for one of his mates, but of himself he had given her nothing.

Despite what David had said about his reasons for wanting to get to know her, old habits died hard. He certainly would have no problem in attracting girls, so why her? She wanted to believe that what he said about her being attractive was true, but something inside her held her back from accepting this.

It was late when he arrived and there was little time for talk, so it was not until the next morning that Anna and David got together.

Anna had planned that if it was a fine day they would go to the beach for a swim. This nearly came unstuck when David pointed out that he hadn't brought any swim wear. Anna, however, was determined that they would have their swim so she made David go to the supermarket and buy some cheap swim shorts.

In usual Anna style her own swimwear was not exactly sexy, but it has to be said that the way she filled her one piece managed to imply that the garment was definitely seductive.

Another strange thought occurred to Anna. She would never have let Josh see her dressed like this. She was still convinced that she was fat, but somehow she didn't mind David seeing her, she wanted him to see what she thought of as at "my worst."

There were plenty of people on the beach and Anna was sure that David would be eyeing the bikini clad girls, but he seemed only to be interested in her. All very strange she thought, and she wondered just how far David's interest in her would go.

Alice came down to the beach with the children and she was dressed in a bikini, and Anna had to admit that she looked stunning. For a while they played with the children, Alice teaching Tessa to swim -- or more accurately how to flail her arms and legs in the water - while David and Anna sat at the water's edge with Ben who seemed to have developed a taste for sand and the small shells that lay around.

When Tessa had flailed herself into a state of near exhaustion Alice asked if they would keep an eye on her while she went for a swim.

Left with the children David said, "Your sister is a fantastic looking woman isn't she."

"Yes," Anna said, "she always was the beauty while I was the ugly duckling."

David looked at her, a puzzled expression on his face, but said nothing.

Silence ensued broken only by Tessa complaining that the sandcastle kept, as she put it, "breaking." David pointed out that dry sand was not good for sandcastle building and damp sand would serve much better, and joined Tessa in the construction business.

* * * * * * * *

After lunch Anna and David went for a walk in the wooded hills that reared up behind Point Dolphin. When they stopped for a rest David asked, "When will you be coming back to the city?"

"I don't know, why do you ask?"

"Oh, it would be easier to see you, to get to know you; I told you that was what I wanted to do."

"Getting tired of the drive here already are you?"

David looked baffled and then started to say, "I didn't mean that Anna, I just..."

Anna felt suddenly remorseful. He had asked a perfectly natural question and she had made an unnecessarily cutting remark.

She touched his arm; "I'm sorry David that was a rotten thing to say, but I really don't know when I'll be leaving Point Dolphin."

"You see Anna," David said, "There are times I have to travel interstate and be away for a couple of weeks or more. I have to train staff in the various branches, and I know I'll be going to Perth shortly, so I thought our seeing each other would be easier if you were back in town."

Anna was silent for a while, and then said, "I've got something to ask that I shouldn't, but I will ask it."

"What?"

"Is my being back in town really important to you?"

"Yes, it is Anna."

"I can't understand why, but if that's the way you feel, then that's the way you feel."

"I know how you feel about Josh, but Anna, what I suppose I'm asking of you is to give me a chance. I'm not trying to rush anything, I just want you to get to know me and see if we can't...well...let's leave it at that for now."

"Josh is obviously a dead letter as far as I'm concerned, David. He's engaged, I wrecked his engagement celebration, and if ever he wants anything more to do with me it will be a miracle. But my point is, are you really interested in second hand goods?"

"Second hand goods, what second hand goods," David asked, mystified.

"Me David...me...there's been Josh for all those years and..."

"But that's ridiculous Anna. You surely don't think I didn't expect you to have had men friends before I came along. I've had women friends and I don't see my self as second hand. It's all a matter of finding the right one, the one you want...well, to have an ongoing relationship...a...permanent relationship with."

Anna laughed mirthlessly. "My God David, are you saying you're trying me out. I suppose I should be flattered, but in fact I can only question your taste."

There was a silence for a few moments and then David burst out with an edge of anger in his voice.

"Why do you keep doing this Anna?"

"Doing what?"

"You keep putting your self down and seem to deliberately misunderstand quite harmless things I say and ask. If you don't want me around then why not just say so. Tell me I'm wasting my time and to go away."

Anna began to cry, "I...I...I don't know why I say those things David...no that's not true, I think I do know why now. They just come out without my thinking about them properly. You've been so kind and...and I'm sorry. I don't want to tell you to go away, but...but I think you should, I'm not worth it..."

"There you go again," David said, putting his arm round her. "I think you're worthwhile getting to know so...oh God, you've not been well and I'm behaving like a pig."

"No...no you're not David, you're a very nice man and I'm grateful that you're interested in me, it's just that I can't really understand why. Josh never..."

David flared again, "Anna, I'm sick of hearing about Josh. If he didn't return your love then bad luck for him, but you don't think it was only good looking girls he was after, do you?"

"Of course it was; he always had attractive girls fawning over him."

"Yes, and he used them just as he used you, but as I understand it in a different way. I know my brother, and all he was waiting for was a girl to come along who had access to plenty of money."

"I'm sorry if that disillusions you, but that's how he is. If you want the truth then I'm not sorry you and he were never lovers and that he used you to help him through his studies...oh yes, I know all about that because I've confronted Josh about it."

Anna gave another mirthless if tearful laugh. "Oh, I knew all about that...that I was his coach, and you know, it never made any difference about how I felt about him."

"I'll tell you something else as well, Anna, I doubt if he'll ever marry Deborah, but if he does he'll find out he's taken on a rough handful. Can you imagine it, two selfish people in harness; it won't last. And here's something else; if it doesn't last, he'll come hunting for you, because he knows you're as unselfish a girl as he'll ever find, and any interest you have in me might die."

Anna thought for a moment about the self-centeredness of her parents and that their marriage might have lasted but for the plane crash. She thought David was wrong about Deborah and Josh. They might well make a good match, just so long as they didn't have children. This she thought, but said nothing.

David was still talking, "Now, you see Anna, I've played your game and given you good reason for not being interested in me. How do you like it?"

"I don't," Anna sobbed.

"Why," David pressed her.

"Because....because I am interested and I want you to be interested."

"And Josh?"

"He had his chances, and it's too late for him now. He hurt me often enough, but he did it once too often. You see, the ugly ducking can peck."

"Well thank God that's settled," David laughed, "and don't you ever call your self an ugly duckling again."

"No I won't," Anna sniffed, "have you got something I can blow my nose with?" David brought out a few tissues from his pocket and proffered them to Anna.

"Thanks," sniff, "we'd better," sniff, "be getting back."

They returned holding hands.

* * * * * * * *

The next morning David and Harry went out fishing. Anna, who had been out fishing with Harry during her previous visits, hoped she would be invited to go along, but no such invitation was extended.

She and Alice once more went to the beach with the children.

"Do you want to talk about David?" Alice asked.

"Do you want to?" Anna asked suspiciously.

Alice shrugged, "Only if it will help you."

"You've taken enough interest in him yourself."

Alice looked at Anna questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"I've seen the way you look at him, you fancy him, don't you?"

For a moment Alice looked as if she was about to explode with anger, but when she spoke it was in a calm level voice.

"Anna, you've said yourself that I've got an adoring husband; I've also got two lovely children; do you think for one moment I'd put all that at risk by fancying some young man who is interested in you, and not me? All right, David is a damned good looking young man; he's polite and considerate, and I suspect, is about to fall in love with you. Whatever interest I have in him is in relation to you."

"Why do I always say awful things Alice?"

"Because you're still unsure of yourself, Anna."

"I've got something I want to confess to you, Alice."

"What?"

"When you met Harry and brought him to our place, I was so jealous. I...I wanted him."

"Yes, I could see that Anna."

"And you never said anything?"

"What was there to say? I was sure of Harry's love, and you were only...how old were you?"

"Seventeen I think."

"I felt sorry for you, but Harry was never for you. He loves you just as I do and as the children do, but someone else was waiting for you."

"Josh was..."

"No Anna, Josh was never for you. I knew it back then and I'm even surer now. There's a lovely young man who has come into your life and you'd be a fool to let him go. Do you know why those two have gone out in the boat?"

"To fish, I suppose."

"No Anna. When I asked Harry why he wasn't taking you as well, he said 'It's secret men's business.' Do you know what that means?"

"No idea."

"They want to talk about you, just as we've talked about David."

"But why?"

"I think because David is a bit old fashioned in some ways. He's going through the...what can I call it?" She laughed and then went on, "The courting process."

"What does that mean?"

"Well today boy meets girl, boy and girl get together in back of car, or if they're lucky in bed. Girls get pregnant, boy runs or marries."

"But...but I'm not like that."

"No darling, I think you're a bit old fashioned yourself."

"I am not."

"I think you're still a virgin."

Anna's face flushed pink, "Yes I am."

"How many girls of your age do you think are still virgins?"

"I don't know, not many I suppose."

"You're right, not many."

"You weren't a virgin when you married Harry. Those nights he stopped at our place I could hear you."

It was Alice's turn to blush.

"I was sure of Harry's love and we only....only...well we were engaged, and I wasn't pregnant when we got married."

"What's this got to do with Harry and David out in the boat?"

"Well David is trying to find out if he'll fit in with the family; I suppose in a way he's asking Harry if he can court you."