All Comments on 'The Unexpected'

So far so good. I think you set this story up well and I will check up for ch. 2! (:

You did a really nice job setting up the characters. You gave us some nice background on Madison. And we know what's happening in her life right now. As for the Alpha, We know he is a strong competent Alpha. He loved her mother and is now happy to have discovered his daughter. But what are all the meetings he has going on that are to important to postpone or cancel? And what of Madison? Is she part were and just doesn't know it yet? I have other questions too. So I'm really looking forward to the next chapter to see where you go from here....

NEXT CHAPTER PLEASE...LOL

I am drooling for more!

While I think you're off to a very interesting start with this story, I couldn't help but notice that in the middle of the chapter for some reason you switched from telling the story in the past tense to the present tense, which I found made it somewhat difficult to read. I find that stories that use the present tense for anything other than actual dialogue tend to flow somewhat awkwardly. Perhaps this is something you might want to take into consideration as you are writing future chapters, because up to the point that you made the switch I was really enjoying your writing style, and I'm anxious to see what direction you are planning to take the story in.

It read more like a summary than a story which I found offputting. Perhaps a constructive editor could help?

but i like it.

it's better than the shit that some other people post.

looks really good so far, i can't help but be sad that theres only two chapters.

i want more!!!

k_k