All Comments on 'The Unreal Estate Business Ch. 02'

This strays too far from plausible.

Too many things fall right into place to burn the bitch and bastard. I know, a lot of readers like super revenge, but when things fall into place too perfectly, it goes off the rails story wise.

And the kids, even if legal adults, watching video of their mother fucking? That’s a pretty big no from anyone.

One common problem in many LW stories is that the characters are alway well to do financially. I’d like to see a bit more realism with working class characters.

It was OK but like many of these stories the lack of a real discussion where the wife shows real remorse and guilt lets it down. Did she intend to seek her own divorce or did she hope to keep things as they were keeping her husband in the dark? Did she think how devastated the kids would be? Why didn't she plead for forgiveness? They had 22 years of all the upps and downs that marriage brings and each others needs and desires. It all just seemed too clinical. However, I do appreciate the effort and it was an okay story so 4 stars.

Good story, but the epilogue was too short.

Did he marry Amelia and how many kids did they have together? What about his existing children? How did they react to having a baby brother/sister? Did the kids forgive their mother for destroying the family?

I would've also liked to hear more details about Sarah and Carl's new partnership going down in flames. She just invested every penny she had in it, then they lost the majority of their business! It seemed like Sarah thought she had traded up with Carl. I can't see their relationship surviving after she lost everything... it would turn ugly very fast as they blame each other for ending up broke.

Too much unnecessary detail about uninteresting business activities. A pretty typical BTB tale with the selfish wife and the perfect husband, I have to ask myself why, if these guys are so good, do the wives feel the need to cheat? But as for the story; it was well written and solid, unfortunately it lost me when he showed the video to his kids. I understand they are of age but a man needs to be pretty sick to present films of their mother having sex to his children regardless of what she'd done, and their reaction didn't bode well for their characters either. A shame really because a decent story was spoiled by too many excesses in my view.

I enjoyed reading your story. A good blend of investigation, sex, and family. Really good idea to involve the adult children. Added a touch of reality most LW stories skip.

The story could have used more character development. All the characters are shallow. Especially the wife, Sarah. That is a common failure in stories by Vandermonium1. It reduces the emotional impact of the characters and the plot.

That was a very nice romantic touch. Getting the victims together and having a child at the end of the story.

Thank you for a good read Gamblnluck🎲.

I'm

AMerryman

Actually this whole site is implausible.

Well written as far as I'm concerned .

Thank you.

Cheers

When did Ty and Amelia do the dirty allowing her to get pregnant?

Now if you could just rope the wife, throw her, and brand her ass with whore! Ha!

Don't know why exactly but it felt it went down hill towards the middle. I also can't see how the kids would want to watch their mother have sex. That was weird. The part of the non sex business also threw me. Why would she stop having sex with Carl? The affair was out in the open and the divorce was on track. What changed her mind? I missed that part. She knew he was a jerk and he told her how he abused his wife and she still would have sex with him so what had changed?

Please forgive me, but you just couldn't stay away from the older man younger woman scenario, and her having a baby. So when you decide to write chapter three, he now becomes a stay at home father and soon to be grandfather when his kids start dropping them. It would have been much better omitting that part.

Less predictable and therefore better. Not fond of all the anal details, don't think it did anything for the story. All and all it was a well written story.

I still gave it a 5* but the ending was rushed and lacking the growing bond with Amelia. Another 5 pager would have been more appropriate - just my 2 cents.

Tagged on to the end of the unnecessary stock option discussion was the offer by Brad and Amelia to finance the share purchases on his options for 50% of the net profits when they eventually are sold. If these options were as good a deal as they were made out to be, he would have been far better off just getting a bank loan.

For example, the stock costs $100 a share to purchase on the option. If the share doubles in value in the three years it is held before selling, then the profit is $100, split two ways. Amelia and Brad get $50 return on a $100 loan held for three years. That means he is paying a high credit card rate type of interest for their "help." The more lucrative the shares become, the more interest he would be paying them.

I think this was a pretty standard LW story in other respects and this stock option point is just an example as to why it is not always the best idea to get too cute with ticking all the boxes in the LW category.

Would enjoy a good closing. See what happens with all the kids, the new couple and distress for the cheaters - keep ‘em coming.

Is Dave the 'daddy' or is Ty?

I enjoyed the unusual opening, learning from the “other man’s” spouse about his infidelity and only later learning that his own spouse is the other woman (although, in fairness, I did see that coming pretty early on). Well written, even if Carl was a bit of an overdone cartoon. Thanks for a good read.

extremely blasé about the whole thing including covid. these ppl should be shot before the spread a deadly virus all over the place. the kids wanting to watch the "show"

You did a good.job wrapping it all up. I would have enjoyed a little more heat in the confrontation with Sarah. Ty was too gentle in his divorce settlement too, but that was the way you wrote the story. It was a bit different from the usual LW cheating spouses story and I enjoyed it. I didn't enjoy all the shots at Vande1. Do it on his stories, don't hijack another author's comments to dump on someone else.

Until the ending when you left so many details out or questions unanswered. That ruined the overall story for me.

3 stars

Good story. I agree and would have liked to see Sarah suffer more than she did. I liked getting the kid involved so they could see firsthand what their mom did.

To teedeedub - Here's where she told him who the father is - "Then she said, "As far as needing to use Dave to provide sperm for me to have a baby. That has been covered. I tested positive yesterday."

She turned to me. "I had intended to tell you privately,but I could not resist this opportunity. You are going to be a Daddy...again." I knew Sarah and Carl were surprised. I could tell without looking but my eyes were only on my woman."

showing the kids mum sucking cock and anal. . . . . . nah.

stretching it a bit far.

Well that was weird, kinky and fun.

Thank you.

"Asshole!" Sarah said, but giggled. "You are incorrigible! You'll lick me to at least three orgasms before I blow you."

Was so looking forward to this and then ^ that derailed it completely for me.

Good overall story and an easy read. Do not have a go about other authors on here especially when signing in as anonymous...most regular readers here know who you are anyway. Thanks Gamblnluck, will be looking out for your next story.

But needed more pickaxes.

very good story. slightly disappointed with the ending. it just fizzled. I think Sarah and Dave seemed anti-climatic in their divorce. and more should have been spent in the epilogue on how bad a choice she really made even with her kids. same for Carl and Amelia.

lol now you even have me calling Ty Dave

I thought she had a thing for Ty . Now she is pregnant with Dave’s sperm. You really ended this part poorly. Did Ty and Amelia get together. You left to much out.

Bad follow up and terrible, terrible reveal that he was sleeping with Amelia. I won’t be reading much more of your stuff.

Great story i loved it. My only criticism is that the word is anti-climactic. Anti-climatic means you are against the weather or something. I don't usually correct spelling errors but this one is a pet peeve for me. I have enjoyed every story you have posted so far in Loving Wives and hope you will continue. I give the story 5 stars as always for you.

The story stopped mid-paragraph. What happened? Was some of the story lost in posting?

Very boring.

The story is long with a lot of unimportant and boring details, but there is nothing resembling a true plot or any elucidation of why Sarah became a slut.

Good story, but the ending was too abrupt. I was looking for the next page when I realized there wasn't any more to read.

Well written but way too many things that didn't make sense to me. It's not my story so things will always work the way the writer fantasizes about.

@teedeedub:

"She turned to me." NOT She turned to Dave

Ty is the future papa

well i think so ;)

Need to see what happens with Tyler and Amelia. Hopefully, they get married ,have kids and Tyler's stock just adds to their wealth. Hope the cheaters lose everything and wind up in poverty! Excellent writing and storyline!

It all became a bit silly

And the involvement of the kids was kind of rediculous

Sorry started of 4.5 stars

Ended 1.5 stars

🙁🙁🙁

It was all pretty bloodless and the lack of emotion and essay-style writing made it tedious after a while. And as others have noted it almost stopped in mid- sentence. 3 stars. Thanks for posting.

Whoa, wait one minute the closing paragraphs are a RUSH to end your story --- BUT it never addressed major plot lines. Both Sarah & Carl should be in jail or at-least lost their licenses for the BRIBE and complicity.

/

What about the attempted RAPE??? The prego's shock-n-awe was beyond stupid - and how could Amelia trust Carl behind any closed door?!?

/

Brad & Dave or Ty were that much of a pussy to not take revenge on Carl for the physical harm Carl admitted too against Amelia or the recent attempted RAPE/harm?!?!? The DA would not go after Carl with the video and ripped clothing and a total NO to sex from Amelia???

/

An interesting story's just went totally STUPID. A solid 4* dropped to 1.5*, becoming a waste of reading time.

/

Hooyah but no salutes.....

I must have misread the first paragraphs because I thought there would be some actual revenge in this story

Brad and Amelia are getting *50%* of the profits on hero's stock options (which are expected to be so much that the hero will be set for life) for a 3-year loan, on stock that is already worth several times more than the option price? For money they admit that they don't even need?

If he hooks up with Amelia, he might want to keep separate accounts. And he might want to talk to a banker before he accepts their "generous" offer.

/nitpick #iknowthisisfiction

First of all, I would like to thank those of you who bother to comment at all. I read each one. I am going to address some of them.

Ok.. In my intro I said

First of all several complained the story was formulaic in that the bad guys lose, the good guys win. They knew who was cheating from the first line.,,,, YEP! Good guys win, bad guys lose. Well there is only so real plots. Just variations on the theme. In my introduction I said:

"My intention is to tell a tale." and "People are flawed as is how they react to any given situation. Sometimes when you take a trip, the journey is as important as the destination." This story is about the journey.

One of the biggest points of contention was my having Tyler let the kids see the video. I agree totally that was wrong. But I wanted my character to NOT be the boy scout Carl had said he was but to be flawed. He was angry and wanted to condemn his wife. He did not send the video to all their friends, family, church members and the local newspaper. The kids did not want to watch the video completely. They fast forwarded through the more explicit parts to the talking portions like Amelia had. Plus they were embarrassed to watch it together especially since it featured their mother.. (See Sam say that in the restaurant.) Now another reason i did this was to stop the argument of "Really Dad, are you sure it was as bad as you think? Are you going to end a marriage of 22 years just because Mom may have messed around a little?" That is featured in many stories.

Along the same line, is the kids wanting "to watch the show." One of the kids was quick to say not his mom having sex but how she reacted to Amelia phoning Carl saying she would arrive soon. The kids at this point are solidly on Ty's side. Their Mom was a bitch, not even talking to them that morning, running off to talk to her lover instead of staying home to try to smooth things over or explain.

Several readers complained about the whole bar thing, Why have Ty be irresponsible and get drunk at a bar in the time of Covid? Well, I simply needed a ploy to get him away from the house and introduce Amelia to kids. And then the kids to Brad, Dave and their kids. I did not want to have Ty invite the others to the house to meet the first time. Plus getting plastered was a way to initialize more personal contact between Ty and Amelia. She admits to stripping him down then stands around exposing herself. later she admits to having feelings. for him... Feelings that quickly? Not realistic, in my own opinion except for maybe a quickie on the rebound then remorse. Nobody commented on that but I wanted to introduce the idea that Amelia and her family accepted Ty.

Another point of contention was my going off in detail about some of the business especially the stock options. I wanted Ty to be et financially and Sarah be stupid in not wanting to exercise those options. First of all, some stock options are offered in VERY significant amounts, particularly to key personnel. One comment said he should have gone to a bank and borrowed the money. Ty is a recent divorcee, now on a single if decent paycheck and four years of options available. I wanted Ty's big enough that he would be set afterwards. Few if any regular banks would loan that kind of money to buy stock, even if it meant great business sense.'

Here again I needed a ploy to have Sarah put her half of the community assets into something destined to fail. She was an immediate gratification kind of person, who never looked at the great advantage of buying those stocks each year.

I worked with people just like that. They could not 'afford' to buy stocks my company offered. We bought them on a discount and the price was either when we signed, or the price of the shares each month when our contribution was deducted from our paycheck. I worked with five others as part of a contract team for an international company. I was the only one to buy those stocks regularly. Yet those other guys could afford to go out to eat several times a week and drive very nice cars and trucks.

One woman was paying off some serious medical bills, but refused to have the same amount of money deducted and put into a health services account to pay those same bills. The tax benefits were great, but she refused even after it was carefully explained to her.

Now how could Sarah just mess around? Easy. She started and had fun. She really did not consider she would get caught. She stayed with Carl because she liked her job. Her enjoyment of the job and her need for the income was pointed out in several places. I left it to the reader's imagination if or when down the road they would part ways. I purposely left her emotional trauma out of the story.

Ty was a little different. He was very upset at first then that turned to anger. Simple, one sided but you have grow a thick skin, sometimes and not just sit and wallow in your misery.

I tried to put in story line that would be picked up later several times. One such was Sarah seeing herself on the TV and not knowing where she was videotaped. And why Amelia was supposedly still clueless.

I did realize the Carl rape scenario got dropped. I did not realize until later. I was doing a cut and past edit thing that deleted a whole section of text. I tried to recreate it from memory and left out Carl's weekend in jail of being scared shitless and what happened.

During editing to get to the final draft, I also dropped a few significant lines Brad used about how they were going to leave significant funds 'for the heirs'. And suggested at considering that would include Ty's three kids plus any produced with Amelia, if he did what the rest of the family wanted and got together with her..

Sometimes cut and paste is destructive. It can delete. Just try it. Select a portion of text and then bump a key by accident. Sometimes undo does not fix the damage.

I was amused by my use of anti-climatic vs anticlimactic. That got past several edits and readings.

Bravo!

Not as BTB as I normally prefer but very satisfying all the same. Looking forward to reading more of your work. 5 stars and a fave

I would have liked more character development.

Re: Brad speaking to the policeman about Carl's stay in jail.

Carl is a loathsome human being.

However, we should have either a 0% tolerance towards rape or an acknowledged list of which offences deserve rape as a punishment. It should not be a joke.

Amelia is clearly a nasty cold calculating manipulative bitch. She is clearly having an incestuous affair with her allegedly gay brother. I bet he is the daddy of her children. I think a certain male should have Amelia's next sprog DNA tested. In fact I think all the kids in this tale should be tested. Amelia reminds me of an ex girlfriend and a very lucky escape on my part.

Yes they are getting 50% using their money.....he gets 50% using no money. A great deal for both. More leagal than the joe/hunter chinese scam. Sry, had to throw that one out there. I gave this a 5. Nice to see some morals.

LOVED THE TWO PARTS! THANKS FAVORITE AUTHOR! BOTH 5 STARS.

Nice.

Not quite as catching as the first part

but a good conclusion to the story.

It may just be my opinion,

but I thought the sex part,

in the second half of the story,

was more in the way

than helping the story.

4 out of 5 from me.

I confess that I did not like the story because everything seemed too cute. I am not an expert on this, but I also did not believe the stock-option aspect of the settlement. Family courts will always find a way to make sure that wife gets at least 50% of anything acquired during marriage.

BUT, I very much appreciate that Gamblnluck took the time to answer the comments. Few authors do that, and it is a good idea for us readers to better understand some of the creative thinking.

The kids seeing the initial videos of their mother cheating was bad enough, but understandable for them to see proof. But wanting to make copies , and then INSISTING to see the new batch? And their father is OK with it?! That is beyond creepy!!!

Carl is a terd, but any man that gets a vasectomy shouldn't reverse it. You got THAT surgery done, you don't want a kid, period! Should have let the wife walk after letting her know he was "fixed"

Rape - no consequences

Bribery - no consequences

Realty license - no consequences

Poor explanation of how/why the affair started

You can do much better than this!

Again good job

I gave it a 5. But, the tendency of authors here to virtue signal by writing sodomites into their stories as ultra-upstanding wonderful people is not only tedious, it's dishonest. In fact, sodomites are very disproportionately narcissistic sociopaths that proportionately exceed the general population in just about every area of social pathology. I trslize authors' views reflect the received wisdom propagated by the media and various institutions, but the received wisdom is a lie. Stopping being intellctual lemmings.

Is 50% of your profit a good deal for a three year loan? Couldn't somebody else make them a better offer? Why didn't Amelia even consider financing options?

On another matter, I lose respect for characters in these stories when they look forward positively to someone being raped in prison. That's just me, though.

For such an elaborately detailed story, the end feels like the author got bored of writing and just pulled the plug. In terms of actual events, sure it's a decent point to stop. But as for the narration itself, it's almost as if there was a chunk of text from the original doc that wasn't copy-pasted here.

All that for such a crappy abrupt ending. I guess better luck next time.

Setting the strike price of options on the grant date is standard. A three-to-five-year vesting schedule is standard for making them exercisable (purchasable, in blocks that get released annually). A mandatory holding period after exercising is very unusual, but I guess you needed it to get those profits away from Sarah and over to Amelia and Brad.

Good story once again.

I just regret the involvement of the children.

These must be protected and stay out of conflicts.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Ending need a few more paragraphs. To abrupt and a bit awkward to reach for the next page button finding that it does not exist.

Great story telling but a real disappointing ending as it was far too abrupt compared to the detail provided throughout.

Thanks all the same!

As pointed out by the anons, your ending really stunk like a fudge packer's used dick. I've seen rushed endings before but, wow, you must have had a scorching hot date waiting for you.

Really good the second time through.

Same comments as below.

Emphasis on good writing

I think the main problem is the naiveté of the plot line. Why in the world would "Carl" go incriminating himself in an apartment he should fully expect to be bugged. If this was the place he and "Sarah" had their trysts where else he would think the surveillance video was made?

And what is that with "$10,000 checks" all about, what was the purpose of that in the plot? It seems that author wanted to go somewhere with that but then abandoned the idea for the sake of abrupt ending: "They were scrambling to keep the doors open and it looked to be a futile effort."

Lots of mumbo-jumbo about "investments" and "listings". And what about arrest, the author conveniently forgot that Brad ended in jail on the bottom of page 2 so he is suddenly negotiating on the top of page 3?

Basically, the author is messing up the plot sideways and without continuity.

Not a bad story but the idea is not executed well.

I wrote an story (It is not readable on Literotica, here I have 4 published stories only) where the husband shows the wife's cheating video to his 2 over 18 years daughters. However the loverboy is the older daughter's fiancé/boyfriend.............

I agree the author, the cheated on husbands do not be written to be saint and the the cheated on husband shows the cheating sex to the child shows the cheated on husband is not SAINT well! The revenge porn video felony law regarding to publishing the cheating video to the world, to show the video to over 18 years old kids in the family are not felony.

Pretty good story but the ending sucked!

*5* on Pt 1 and *3* on Pt 2

Well done, except for the fact that we never heard anything about Ty and Amelia hooking up. And suddenly she's pregnant? We were deprived of the good sex! ;->

End to rushed.

Didn't he realise the apartment was bugged, he really was stupid. The involvement of the kids was rubbish as was their dialogue. It started well but by the end of was total rubbish

Liked it but the ending seemed rushed. Where was her contrition and begging forgiveness? The final conversation wasn't long enough to seem real.

...sure flipped on her +20 year marriage easily. Yes, she explained the first slip — and it was a slip, an alcohol assisted slip — but she so easily continued. I mean, in her many years of college and other classes she probably was propositioned or approached innumerable times without failing her vows, but with Carl (thoughbwho apparently was a great salesman) was able to make her break her vows again and again...and again.

Sure, suspension of disbelief, so once I accept Sarah, for whatever reason, easily became a slut for Carl, but no other extracurricular pursuers, then the rest of the story pans out. But I think Sarah’s fall could have been given a little more realistic treatment. I mean, enough verbiage was spent on all the legal and financial (yawn) elements, yet the key reasoning(s) behind Sarah’s continued cheating was given only a few paragraphs vs. a couple of pages of legal and financial components.

Still, overall, 4-stars

To further enhance your pretty good grammar:

"Nope. The money comes from the trust fund our father set up for Brad and I. (for Brad and me)

Carl and him rub each other the wrong way. (Carl and he)

It got down to Ed and I making a list of options … (to Ed and me)

Not to mention the stock options, Horizon offered me to keep me on board each year. (no comma)

I suggested the kids go home when they dropped Amelia and I off … (Amelia and me)

"We'll make whoever it is the same deal we make Ty.” (whomever)

"I can't let Amelia find out about Sarah and I." He said simply. (About Sarah and me)

AWESOME story...

Weak ending......they were not going to rush into a relationship and we didn't even know the divorce was final and they were having a baby?? Your Ch 1, *5* became a Ch 2, *3*

Good story. Thanks

2-stars for a rushed, lazy, and weak ending.

I might have missed it but I would have liked the conversation with his wife to have covered why she still had sex with her lover right after her kids had watched the video.

The rationale written in might be entertaining.

Other than that writting in the two monsters among us lovers ,they could have been internment guards with abilities to ignore the damage.

5 stars for complete story. 2nd part was a little weak and rushed

ZEROZEROZERO... WELL, YOUR HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA KILLED A FIVE SCORE.

TY IS A STUPID LOSER, FROM HIS OUTBURSTS, THE CUCK DOESN'T THINK BEFORE HE SPEAKS

Sarah came over as never really caring that she had done it or that she was caught. I find this author produces a lot of writing but the plot never really moves on and is weak. The end just dribbled away. I will not bother reading any more stories any more they were frustrating to read.

This way about logistics, not about the real emotions that would have been involved in a situation like this. Not very interesting.

I found it kind of creepy that he gave his underage kids alcohol and then a porno video of their mother's sexual escapades.

Hard to believe married so long with 3 kids and she cared so little she was willing to risk her marriage

[01.10.22]

Fun little duology!

11/10!!!!!

good overall story, the short epilogue/ending made this chapter just a 3* The ex-wife REALLY needed some more explanation to her situation than a sentence "oops, didn't know the wife had the power..."

Started ok, but tailed off to a poor ending with the short epilogue

A little lacking, emotionally. Good story mechanics, but it had little drawing power.

Great story, a few interesting twists well written fun characters though, I don't know, I know it was a bit longer than some of your stuff, but you talked about the anger and hurt, but he didn't show it perhaps that is just what you wanted to present him as. he could be an ongoing character with his skill set sort of an amateur dick kinda thing?

Wow for a no sex story this was awesome. Have you thought of writing fiction?

A good story, but you really floundered trying to close it out. I still liked it, but a poor ending tends to leave readers with a poor impression of the story, no matter how great the rest was.

You spent way to much energy trying to close this out with a wimper... it should have ended when When MC and Amelia watched the last video of Carl and Sarag having sex after Amelia had supposedly returned... the story should have had a wrap after that... they had all they needed by then and the rest was just a unweildy and floundering flop... too bad, the first and middle were solid and good. 3-stars

Thin and confusing.

Ending sucked... Needed at least 2 more paragraphs to close the lopes.

It just isn't a particularly good LW story for the following reasons:

It has almost no husband and wife interactions. Like almost none. Maybe a total of 2, and they were small and held no dramatic influence whatsoever.

The majority of the story was "tell," instead of show, making most if quite boring.

The characters were about as emotional as rocks. There was never a sense that the husband was really emotionally impacted by the wife's cheating. That's actually a major failing of the vast majority of LW stories.

The whole financial shenanigans on the husband's part. As if a judge wouldn't just order the money immediately be returned from the college accounts. I'm not aware of any state that requires parents fund college. Even if there was, maintaining a certain standard of living quality would trump that, and the judge would still reverse such a bullshit move.

All in all, the story had promise but ultimately failed to deliver a satisfying experience, in my opinion.

I enjoyed how you wrote and presented your story. Very readable. 5*