All Comments on 'The Vampire and the Goth'

I liked the set up very much, but wanted the story to go somewhere. You have two sympathetic characters that I became emotionally invested in. They had sex but nothing changed. Neither learned anything or ended up in a different place than they began emotionally.

The name Stosh originating from Stanislav seemed weird to me, what with me being Russian, so I looked it up on Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanislav_(given_name)). It wasn't mentioned there. What was your source?

more on the way?

This is my first story for Literotica, and there will be more. This is the first entry.

I got the abbreviation of Stosh from Stanislaw from my father-in-law, whose name is spelled differently from my protagonist. Stosh is originally from Poland, but, as far as I know, he isn't a vampire.

It does have interesting loose ends for another chapter

Why isn’t she scared?

what does she really want? Eternal life?

Is she just an 18 year old homeless kid

Is she really a vampire hunter?

Were her parents killed by a Vampire?

Each of these could be a chapter

djb

it was just interesting enough to read the whole first part, but not enough to read other parts. i'd suggest having someone read it before posting it, not enough meat to the sotry. even for a sex one. keep trying tho!!

I enjoyed the premise, honestly I thought it was adorable.

The issues I have with it is mainly pacing and building the environment.

Mostly it didn't have a lot of depth, their interactions felt shallow because they weren't really described to the readers. While you don't have to go overboard with the descriptors some are nice, describe how she's smiling, or how their sitting, more about the apartment or more details about their interactions.

I think the overall story you've thought of is good, it just went from 0-100 really fast without really know how it got there.