The Village Bar Ch. 07

I continued on my way to my masters' house as my mind seethed with agitation. A thousand questions about the future were piling up in my head. Incredible as it may seem, I had not even thought for a moment that this could happen.

When I arrived, I was dying to ask them, but naturally I didn't. I was forbidden to speak except to ask permission or to answer a question. However, my face must have been so expressive at that moment that I am sure that Tony, who opened the door for me, noticed what was happening. He became very serious and made me get up from the floor, on which I had prostrated myself to kiss his beloved feet, as always when I arrived. Then, to my surprise, he indicated for me to sit in a chair in front of him, who took a seat on the couch. Soon James joined him. Tony, with the same serious expression, said to me:

-Douglas -his calling me by name set off all the alarms in my head-, we need to talk. And not as masters and slave. In this conversation we are equals. Feel free to say whatever you want.

I nodded, stunned, and he continued:

-I guess you've already heard that we're leaving. We go back to our town in a couple of days. James' mother has to undergo surgery and it looks like the recovery is going to be longer and more complicated than we thought. So we've decided to come back to be close by and be able to take care of her -he sighed and added: -Anyway, we never thought we'd stay here long. We came because the bar where we worked in our town had just closed and a friend from near this place told us that they were looking for people to run the bar here, but we are not much into rural life. This has only made things hasten...

I listened to him with a terrible knot in my stomach. After a pause, Tony continued:

-Now it's up to you to make a decision. Of course it was something we were going to put to you at some point, but in the present circumstances it can't wait any longer -he paused again, while his beautiful eyes looked at me with intensity-. At this point you have two options: either you just go on with your life and forget about all this or... you come with us. But if you decide to come with us, it has to be on one condition...

He paused. It seemed to be hard for him to say what he was going to tell me. Then his husband spoke up:

-That condition is that you have to give yourself to us now totally and forever. If you come to live with us, you will only exist to serve us. You will have to leave behind your life, your studies, everything... You will no longer be a person, but one of our possessions. All decisions will be made by us. It is true that you were already doing all that, but the surrender we are talking about is much deeper. You could no longer turn back...

I was breathless listening to his words. A terrible lump gripped my throat. Nevertheless, impulsively, I went to speak when Tony stopped me:

-Don't answer now, Douglas. It's a much more important decision than it seems to you now. In fact, none of our previous slaves dared to take that path. And we don't want you to rush into it. Go home and think about it very carefully. Tomorrow you will give us the answer.

-And remember -James added-, we don't give second chances. The decision you make will be definitive....

I wanted to speak, but the words would not come out of my mouth. I decided to follow his advice (order?), got up and, slowly and overwhelmed, headed for the door.

Already on the street I wondered why I had not responded immediately, accepting their conditions and leaving with them. I could no longer conceive of my life without being at their feet. But I calmed down and told myself that I needed to think, that Tony was right. At that moment my desire and longing to be by his side completely clouded my reason. I got home and started to think about it, as a thousand feelings overwhelmed me.

And then a new feeling appeared in my heart: fear.

Fear of the future, fear of what would become of me if my masters got tired and abandoned me, fear of what my parents would say when they found out that I was leaving my studies, fear that I myself would change and there would be no turning back, fear of so many things...

On the other hand, I was a little afraid to give up everything for them. I had a real vocation for teaching and dreamed of devoting myself to it. It was going to be a hard resignation. And why not say it? Despite my passion for my masters, the idea of no longer being a person and losing my independence forever was also a bit scary. Naturally I spent the night without sleeping, thinking about it all.

And in the end, fear won...

I did not dare to take the step. I simply did not feel ready. And so, the next morning I told my now ex-masters what I had decided. I noticed the deep sadness on their faces, especially Tony's, when I told them, but they told me that they understood, that they respected my decision and that they hoped I would be very happy. After that, they gave me an affectionate hug -the first they had ever given me-, and I said goodbye.

For the next two days I was in a very strange state of mind. I kept telling myself that I had made the right decision and encouraged myself to keep going, pretending to be strong, while I struggled to silence the powerful voice inside me that told me I was making the mistake of my life. Naturally I didn't show up at the bar those days. I feared my resolve would waver too much if I saw them again. However, when I found out when they were leaving for good, I couldn't help but go and say goodbye to them.

Half the village was there saying goodbye as they finished loading their van. They were very dear to everyone and they were going to be greatly missed. When it was my turn I went over and wanted to shake their hands goodbye, so as not to arouse suspicion. However, Tony hugged me again and again I could see the deep sadness in his eyes. James shook my hand with an anxious expression, he seemed worried about me. I guess that, although I was struggling hard against my feelings, they were evident on my face. He said quietly and apprehensively:

-Don't contact us, Douglas. It would not be good for you. You'd better move on as soon as possible and forget about us.

I nodded and stepped aside to let others from the village say goodbye. When they finally got into the van and left I went home, still striving to be strong. Halfway there, fortunately out of sight of everyone, I suddenly felt like a knock on my head. My masters were gone! They were gone forever! I would never see them again!

Then a kind of infinite sorrow rose from my stomach to my throat and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to die at that moment. I fell to my knees and that anguished suffocation exploded in a terrible, uncontrolled cry that tore my insides apart...

The following days my condition did not improve at all. I hardly got out of bed, I didn't sleep or eat. I just cried and cried, regretting over and over again my decision not to have left with my masters, with the feeling of having had absolute happiness at my fingertips and having let it slip away.

On the third day there was a knock at the door. I went to open in my pajamas, I had not dressed again. Abigail appeared at the door. She looked at me, quite horrified to see what I looked like, and just held out her arms. I hugged her, bursting into tears again without being able to help it. I felt ashamed, I hadn't showered for three days and I must have smelled like hell. She didn't mind, she led me to the couch and sat down next to me, holding my hand.

-My poor little boy, how you suffer, I wish I could do something for you!

Still in tears, I asked:

-Abigail... you... did you know?

-Of course I did, darling -she said with a bitter smile-. Everyone in the village knew about it -she clarified to my surprise, however: -No, they didn't say anything, I assure you. But what do you expect? It's a tiny village. Nothing can be kept secret here.

I cried again and again she hugged me. Then, with a mother's firm hand, she had me showered, dressed and prepared me something to eat, which I struggled to swallow as best I could. Then she let me rest, but before leaving she told me why not call Tony and James, that maybe I would feel better. As much as I wanted to do that, I dismissed it completely. My masters did not give second chances, they had made that very clear to me, and besides James had told me not to contact them. The very idea of being rejected in anger or disgust terrified me so much that I didn't even consider it.

And so the days went by. I could do nothing. I spent the day on the couch or in bed, just feeling a terrible emptiness, a feeling that nothing in this world was worthwhile. Sometimes I would look at the stars at night, the sight of them was incredible in that place, and I just thought that maybe my beloved gods would be somewhere looking at them too, and I couldn't be with them. And the anguish invaded me.

Abigail came almost every day, I gave her a key and she would stop by to make sure I ate something and washed up. Seeing that I was not improving at all, she suggested that I return to the capital, but I refused. I could not meet my family or friends in that state. Simply... I could not. And every day I kept dying a little more inside, as if everything I had loved in the world had become useless garbage. I think only the pain I was going to cause my parents kept me from taking my own life.

One of those evenings I was sitting on the couch. I had the TV on in front of me, but I didn't watch it. My eyes and my mind were only looking at that immense and desolate emptiness that was the only thing I could see in front of me. Then I heard the street door open. I thought it was Abigail and, making a huge effort, I turned to get up and greet her. Then I got the surprise of my life, it was not Abigail but Tony who was coming towards me!

My first thought was that this was unreal, that I was dreaming, as I had done so many times in the last few weeks. But dream or not, I threw myself desperately to kiss my master's feet. Tony didn't let me prostrate myself, he took me in his huge arms and hugged me warmly. Then, feeling the tremendous strength and power of those arms, I had no doubt that it was real and, without being able to help it, I burst into sobs. He held me like that, hugging me, until I calmed down a little and told him:

-Master... but... what are you doing here?

-What do you think, doggie? -he said affectionately-. I've come for you...

-But... but... but... how? -I stammered in a daze.

-Abigail phoned me -he answered-, and told me what you were going through. Do you think I could let my doggie suffer like that? I had to come and get you...

-I thought you didn't give second chances -I said bitterly.

-Well -he smiled-, it's a rule we made for ourselves. Just as you put it on, you take it off -and looking at me intensely, he continued: -You know, we missed you terribly too. You were already part of our lives and it seemed that we were missing something important, something really fundamental for us to be happy. We didn't want to interfere in your life or in your decision, but your absence was killing us, my dear doggy....

It is difficult to express in words the happiness I experienced at that moment as I listened to Tony say that. The tears were still falling uncontrollably down my cheeks, but now they were tears of joy.

-So... may I be your slave again?

-You may be whatever you want -Tony said warmly-. You will no longer be an object with no opinion. You can be our slave, our pet, our lover... whatever you want. There are no conditions anymore. You'll have the life you want, as long as you're by our side...

-Will I be yours forever? -I asked with eagerness in my voice. And he, squeezing me again in his arms, answered me passionately:

- I will never, never!, let anything or anyone take you away from me again...

And then Tony did something he had never done before. Leaning down, he brought his mouth to mine. The taste of those sensual, virile lips intoxicated me as his tongue, firm and determined, but at the same time with infinite tenderness, invaded my mouth, which let itself be completely possessed, surrendered to its god once again.

And I, surrendered to the indescribable pleasure of that kiss and surrounded by those incredible arms, could only think that sometimes it is not necessary to die to reach paradise...

THE END