by desidesires
If you are going to write a story in English then it should remain in English throughout - the 'translations' from one language to another lends Nothing to the story - only detracts from it and interrupts what might have been an interesting scene. It's an ok start for your first attempt at writing, needs some growth in substance story line and sexual build ups/scenes, but the repeated dual language moments are a killer to the telling of the story. Sorry.