The Virgin Ceremonies Ch. 16

"You really want to live like that, week to week?"

"Do you really want to live the other way, never to never again?"

"And you expect me to cheat with an engaged woman?"

"You can't forgive me for that, after everything I said? Tell me you understand, at least. Tell me this hasn't ruined us."

I took a breath. "I get it. I get why you had to say yes. I get your family pushed you and Tom together. I get why you had sex with him. It hurts, but I get it."

"But you can't see past it?" she asked.

"I could've, but you're still engaged, and I'm still in the shadows, and I don't know if I can live like that, as the other man. So, yes, I forgive you, because I don't want us to have a bitter goodbye, but we still have to say goodbye."

"Why?" she asked sadly. "You're not the other man. You're the only man. I won't kiss him or have sex with him. We can still do this. I swear I'll break it off with him."

"When? A week, a month, your wedding day? That's not good enough for me, Ginny. I can't cheat on your fiance with you, and I won't share you."

She didn't say anything, just sat beside me silently.

"I should go," I said.

"No, don't. Please, can't you stay with me tonight? I really need you right now. I can't lose you because of Tom. He's ruined my life so much. I can't let him take you away from me too."

I reached out to her, touching her face. She turned her cheek into my hand, kissing my palm. I said, "You haven't lost me. After it's over with Tom, call me. We can see each other then."

"You're really not going to see me again until it's over with him? You're not being fair again."

"I am being fair. Be fair with me. Don't ask me to do this. Would you cheat with me if I was engaged?"

We stared at each other. She dropped her eyes. I stood up, taking my phone, putting it in my pocket.

"What if I called him right now?" she asked, looking up at me. "Tell me we can be together, and I'll call him right now."

"I'm not going to ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, I'm offering."

"What if you change your mind?" I said. "What if you want to go back to him?"

"I won't, because he can't love me like you. He doesn't know how to. Even if you dumped me, I wouldn't stay with him. You've shown me I need more, more warmth, more affection, more love. Don't make me look for that in another man."

"If you want to call him, then call him."

She paused. "It's just, it would be so much easier in person, more respectful than over the phone."

I shook my head. I'd had enough. I stepped toward the door.

"Wait," she said.

I turned back, and she was on her feet. Her phone was powering on. She opened her contact list and clicked on Tom.

"Ginny, if you want to talk to him in person--"

"Quiet," she said. "You're going to hear this. It's over with him tonight, and then you're going to stay, okay?"

My heart was beating faster as I watched and listened to the phone ring. He probably wouldn't even answer.

"Hello?" Tom said.

"Hi, Tom. It's me," Ginny said.

"Hey, babe. Are you back at your place, packing for tomorrow? My parents were disappointed you couldn't come to dinner tonight."

"Tom, I need to talk to you about something serious. Are you alone?"

"Hang on."

We waited a few moments.

"I'm outside. What's up? I don't have a lot of time. I'm at the country club with my folks."

"Tom, I cheated on you."

"What?" he said.

Ginny stared right into my eyes. "I had sex with another man last Saturday."

"You're joking," he said almost calmly, but then he grew angry. "You better be fucking joking!"

"You should've stayed with me that night, but you had to go to your stupid game."

"Who? Who! Who the fuck was it?" he shouted.

"A man who was there for me when I needed him."

"This is un-fucking real! You're fucking kidding!"

"Tom, this engagement is over, but I'd appreciate your discretion. Don't tell your parents about this."

"Oh, my God, you fucking slut. Are you serious?"

"You keep my secrets, I'll keep yours."

"You fucking whore!" he shouted. "I knew you were a fucking whore! You weren't a virgin when we fucked, were you? You fucking lying piece of gutter shit!"

I was getting angry with this man, listening to him talk to her like that.

"We're even now. We're over," Ginny said, still staring at me.

"You're right we're over, bitch! I want my fucking ring back, you worthless cunt! Fucking whore!"

"I'll have my mom give it to your mom."

"Fuck you, you fucking bitch."

"I have to go now, Tom."

"I fucked Quinn."

I watched Ginny's face contort. "That's not... you're lying."

"Over the summer," he said. "You were still the virgin who wouldn't put out. We got drunk and we fucked. She fucking loved it too."

"You're lying."

"Ask her. Fuck you, Ginny. I hope you're real fucking happy with whatever loser you're with. You could have had me, you dumb bitch."

He hung up.

"Wow," she said.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "That was hard."

She looked at me. "You're worth it."

"About your friend..."

Her eyes were getting watery. She couldn't keep eye contact with me. She looked down at her phone, turning it off again.

"He was lying. He had to be. Quinn would never do that." She sniffled. She blinked and her tears overtook her. "Will you please stay with me?"

She closed her eyes and covered her face, crying into her hands. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She cried against my chest, and I kissed the top of her head.

"Hey, hey, look at me." I lifted her face. "I'll stay, okay?"

"Really?" she said, wiping her nose.

"All night. Let's get you into bed, beautiful."

I scooped her up in my arms. She squeaked in surprise, but wrapped her arms around my neck. She held tight as I carried her to the bed. I set her down and then turned off the lights around the room. When I came back, she pulled me down into bed and crawled into my arms. Her tears were heavy as she buried her face in my chest. I turned off the last light on the end table, the room cast in long shadows from the setting sun.

"My Beau," she said with a sniffle.

"Still?"

"Forever."

She cried a little while longer but eventually calmed down. I stroked her back and kept her close, kissing her forehead now and then. Soon, sleep took us. We were both exhausted from the fighting. In the night, our lips found each other, but neither of us let our hands explore. We didn't even undress. We slept in our clothes, me in barista black and her in beautiful blue, and we stayed that way. Somehow, this made up for our first night together. Our relationship was built on sex, and our future was filled with it, filled with hotels and secrets. This would be our life. Tonight was about something more, healing and hope, connecting and nurturing our love.

At some point, we'd both had enough sleep and started talking, mostly about our lives, our pasts, our preferences, those stupid little questions like favorite colors and food and music and politics and childhood adventures. We laughed and ordered room service at 4:00 a.m. after reading the menu for hours and discussing her high-class meals and my low-class life.

By the time the sunrise broke through the windows, we knew it was time to part, but we stayed together a little longer, making excuses for each other. By 9:00 a.m., I knew I was overdue with my grandmother and Max, not to mention Karen. We managed to collect ourselves and leave the hotel. We said goodbye on the street before we went our separate ways.

"I love you, Mr. Brent James Grayson," she said.

"I love you, Miss Virginia Anne Duclark," I said.

"I can't lose you," she said. "You're such a big part of my life now. I don't ever want this to end."

"I'll take you one week at a time, if that's all I can have."

"I wish I could give you every day of the rest of my life. I hate that I can't. I hate that I'm a coward."

"You're getting braver. You ended things with your fiance. You fought to keep us together. I know how much you love me."

"I do, so much, always."

We held each other, right there on the sidewalk, the cars honking, the people walking, the pigeons squawking. We didn't care what any of them thought anymore. We kissed goodbye, and it felt amazing. Then she walked away, and I did too. I kept glancing over my shoulder to see her.

When I looked back the last time, a black SUV pulled up. To my surprise, a man stepped out and spoke to her. She climbed into the backseat while he held the door for her. I turned completely around and watched as the SUV drove away.

A feeling of foreboding rolled over me. Had we been caught? Maybe all night long, we'd been trapped in a spider's nest, and we didn't even know it.