All Comments on 'The Waiting Game'

But I enjoyed it immensely. Thanks!

Well, that wasn't where I expected that story to go. Took a left turn into creepy land. I can't imagine many things more terrifying than an eternity of sentience without connection or mobility.

There seems to be a lot of murder and killing lately in the loving wives section. I've never thought that killing someone for the crime of infidelity was either smart or clever. I understand the "passion of the moment" thing, but for a fictional story, just killing someone isn't very entertaining and seems like lazy writing. This story ends without any consequences. One swing from a lamp might have broken an arm that was raised in defense, but after that I don't see him not kicking the crap out of his wife, even with one arm. But that's just my thinking. I didn't like the killing and I didn't like the unfinished story.

1 star

and you kill the husband when the wife cheats. Are you sure your name is Matt and not Matty?

Shades of Edgar Allen Poe

Til table lamp do us part!

It seems to have accidentally gone live early. Oh, well.

... You may die by the brass table lamp.

It will always surprise me that cheaters would think that their own houses are the best places to have their affairs. What does such idiots think no-tell-motels were invented for?

'Seems like that marriage was on its way out, anyway - obviously, jerkoff was already stepping out, but it didn't seems like his missus waited too long to 'mourn' his 'disappearance' before starting to date someone else. You kinda have to feel sorry for the fellow professor who's going out with her, though - no telling how such a woman would react if he leaves the seat of the toilet up!

In any case... once again, the 750 words gave us yet another underwhelming story with thoroughly unlikable characters, that we ultimately know very little about, and no real resolution to speak of. A whole lot of words were wasted on pointless commentaries about computer languages and whatnot, when it could have been used instead to tell us what exactly was this relationship was like before the big 'boredom'. So much is left off the table, so many plotholes opened, with no way of getting resolution for any of it... simply because the author wanted to 'challenge' himself.

Bottom line: it's an incomplete story. As is most '750 words' tales.

God, I hate this challenge.

What happened to that kindly, gentle Brit guy we all knew and loved?

The fictional wife in this fictional story killed the fictional husband.

And she accidentally killed him, in point of fact.

Agatha Christie murdered dozens of people in her novels. But in real life? Not so many.

Now fresh air yo head and clean yo shit, make new and go back to tha old styla we know from ya, mon

Very different!

Simple, elegant, brutal.

I'm vexed about your perspective shift. You make it work but barely. That's a dangerous game to use too frequently. Well done here.

yes, I'll admit when I'm wrong. I shouldn't have said to you, "go back to writing your stories instead of commenting on others" lol Was this story my punishment? Seriously, murder porn is never enjoyable even in the flash form.

was there a point to this story? Good set up. Could have headed a lot of different ways and been something.

and her family had come to the states for the ceremony and to visit. As they were all sitting around the living room enjoying some celebratory champagne whilst catching up on the past few years her younger sister was idly stroking this heavy antique brass lamp that she somehow found compelling.

"Nancy? Have you ever heard any more about your hubby? I know having him suddenly disappear without a trace must have been devastating."

"No, no, I never did" Nancy replied. "The police have given up looking and the P.I. I hired found nothing as well. I can't believe he just up and left, but since his body has never been found I'm at a loss. I guess that's why I've never thought about selling this place. I mean if he is out wandering about and ever comes to his senses I want it to be easy for him to find me, and in the meantime I can sometimes feel his presence and I find it comforting to think he may be somewhere nearby.

DIFFERENT

People say they want something different,; you gave them different.

Have you ever seen the quantity of remains from a cremation? To fit the remains of two people into the Moorish lamp, it would have to be a pretty big lamp! LOL!

Thanks for your shorty, though! Always enjoyable.

PostScriptor

This was definitely different. You go Matt.

I honestly don't know what to make of this story. I remember a screenwriting class I took in college and the professor mentioned that every single thing you put in the story should be moving the story forward.

The set up was interesting, but the ending had nothing to do with it. Could have been the same set up about the wife getting that job, his job, the bit about Python, dropbox and google, and then the line the wife got hit by a bus and died. Why so much detail about something that had nothing to do with what was about to come?

Not scoring it because I'm still scratching my head, and I can't make it out. I liked the first half of the story, and I liked the second half of the story. I just didn't like them together.

Don’t you hate it when your wife beats you to death and stuffs you in a fancy pot? The underplayed way in which hubby tells his tale struck me as funny. He comes off as bemused and “who would have thought.” At least he won’t be lonely.

Why the repost?

This story was posted only a few weeks ago.

Even if it is just a bulb.

Why do people cheat in their own houses?

Yeah, the ‘he came home early’ is an easy method of catching the cheaters, but it’s been really overused lately.

If you fuck around in your own house, you leave evidence, from obviously fucked on sheets to rooms that smell of sex. And I know of one instance, in real life, where this nurse left a pair of footie socks, not something blatant like panties, but the wife recognized that they weren’t hers. Heck, I need to use that someday in a story!

Yep, definitely different. The BTBastard crowd will love you. Oh, I forgot. All the guys shiver and run when it's Burn The Bastard. Now if you'd done that to a woman 10* story for sure. But I can only give you 5* and a pat on the back. LOL!

Bummer! Who knew she was a psychopath?

LOL - how about finding a "Don't Get Caught" cleanup checklist on her/his phone?

How about a "how to frame list" in order to cast public blame on the other spouse? Yes there have been numous stories where one spouse has been tricked by fake photos, but here the spouse fakes them in order to gain public favor or leverage if not released.

Still waiting? Yeah, it's like that.

This story just started up and stopped. Nothing of interest happened, your 750 words got posted.

Certainly an interesting finish with a ghost waiting for eternal imprisonment in company with a witless witness, perhaps leading to cinder sex? 4* for entertainment value.

try:

cheat(target=bimbo)

except (Wife):

cremation++

Better suited for Halloween, but still a good dark tale.

Cheaters be damned but this was weak sauce

Read this before. Did you repost it? Is it 750 words? Because it seems overly clipped and a little pointless. Why all that detail about moving and her getting this job and those specifics when she was just going to kill him outright in the opening scene? 2*

I sure hope Matt is going to write another story for the March 17th invitational! Some damn good writers, plus Stev2244 and I, will be posting tales of adventure, wonder and woe on that date. Plan on having lots of green beer, corned beef, cabbage and your favorite electronic device available to truly enjoy the day. Prepare to hear the lamentations of the women and cucks as this event will be by invitation only, The good news is, it will be by invitation only. No posers, prestidigitators, pretenders, whiners, wieners, or wimps need apply. I am excited already and it is over a month away! Stay tuned for more information!

Up, Up and away.

That's why it was only 750 words.

Bullshit, you’re much better than this.

'Nuff said.

I don't justify her cheating, but she does sound rather self-involved. He'd better not cheat.

Setting aside all of the clunky, pandering sentimentality of this nonsense story: WHY invest nearly 150 of (i.e., a third!) of 750 words on some boring masterbatory side note about writing in Python (and about Python’s origins and inventor too wtf)? Critical editing is a skill worth mastering. 2 Stars for effort.

His side chick needs to run far away. But his bimbo might ease his time in the lamp.

Matt will post another story on March 17 for the "Highway Song" writing event. Featuring travel/adventure stories, there will be productions from such writers as Qhml1, BurntRedstone, Todd172, JoeDreamer, Amyyum, NoraFares, Girlinthemoon, CherylTerra, DTIverson, Lost Boy, Laptopwriter, Androgynousother, Andyhm, BarryJames, Just Plain Bob, Markelly, PapaToad, Eclare, Harddaysknight, Postscriptor, Hooked1957, SleeperyJim and many others.

If you like adventure, romance, action and road-trips, you will enjoy these stories by some of the best authors around. Hope you tune in on St. Patrick's Day for our annual event. Green beer will be served on the premises. Randi.

What a way to go!

"Neoscience"? Did you mean "Neuroscience"? This little error took me out of the story right at the start.

It was a term I invented for the story, however, it transpires that neoscience is, after all, a real thing.

Well, was I surprised with is story. I swear I spotted Alfred Hitchcock lurking in between the lines. Five stars

No one has a sense of humor anymore.

There you go a proper BTB story.

Cold...that's better than cool.

Well that was short. Nice to see a cheating husband get what's coming for a change. Does the heaviness of the lamp imply that this is not her first time?