All Comments on 'The Watercolor Ch. 01'

Yes! Thank you for this!! Keep writing, please.

A very interesting story, told in retrospective. Although I have some doubts, I think they will be revealed in the following chapters.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Same for lost opportunities

and regrets

“The Watercolor,” Ch. 1

You set the scene well and you excel in describing the character’s feelings and settings. You use good transitions to continue the reading flow from paragraph to paragraph. You establish the “why” behind the flashback that explains her reverie outside when the story began and best of all, you establish credibility with how you explain Morgan’s waiting for Christian and what happened to create such wistfulness in her; sometimes an author doesn’t provide a compelling reason or reasons for the attraction or circumstances that drew two people together, but you performed this well and therefore you made your story very plausible and very realistic (in other words, this could have been any woman’s story). You organize events logically and this streamlines the flow.

As for things to work on, be careful of including run-on sentences, which interrupted the reading flow at several places. Also consider using more punctuation to improve emphasis and explanation. Finally, eliminate any unneeded word redundancies and economize wording where possible.

If you'd like to see the specific examples, I included them in my forum post to you.

Good job overall. I'm looking forward to Ch. 2.

I gave you a good critique and suggestions to improve your story, saying just about everything someone on the forum said, yet you deleted it. Please make it clear that you want only praise from people who will ignore all your mistakes and are just looking for something to jerk off to.

Anonymous,

I'm sorry if you believe that I deleted your comment but I can assure you that I did not. I am very new to Literotica and honestly, I haven't even figured out how to navigate the site entirely, let alone delete what was no doubt, suppose to be helpful feedback. I appreciate all feedback, good and bad. It will only help me get better at writing in general so if you wish to repost your comment, then please, please, please do so. I will take it stride. Thank you!

Sorry I've not read your story, but I got as far as your bio and came to the commens section. I was surprised that no one mentioned your reference to your cat Boris Catloff, Jr. I'm kinda of an old fart and love the old black and white movies, especially ones that have Boris Karloff in them, the guy was awesome.

I also was an art major but I'm still working on getting famous, well, not so much famous as rich. I think I've reached the age where money is more important than fame. As for history, I suck it up like a sponge.

So I wish you all the best in your work, and sincerely hope you get your fame and fortune. America is over due for a good artist!

Sincerely

Ted

I became entranced by your story....mmmm