The Weight

"You think I am brave because I carry a gun; well, your fathers are much braver because they carry responsibility ... And this responsibility is like a big rock that weighs a ton. It bends and it twists them until finally it buries them under the ground. ...I have never had this kind of courage." Bernardo O'Reilly (Charles Bronson), The Magnificent Seven, 1960

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Richard (Rick) Wilson sat in his twelve-tear-old Ford pickup trying to work up the courage. Courage -- what a strange word to use for the action Rick was contemplating. When did life become so desperately overwhelming that this seemed the only option?

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Rick grew up in a nice house with two younger siblings and two wonderful parents. An 'A minus' student and all-around athlete, Rick was popular throughout high school. He only experienced two traumas in his young life.

The first was when his high school girlfriend, the girl he thought he'd marry someday, broke up with him a month before the junior prom. Carrie gave him the old cliché, "I think it's important we see other people to make certain we really love each other."

Carrie had the nerve to show up at the dance with her new, college-age boyfriend. It took most of the following summer and the support of his family to get over the vision of 'the love of his life' with her arms around the college stud's neck as they swirled and kissed on the dance floor.

It was a year later (what was it about May?) Rick was pitching for his high school baseball team when a line drive hit him in his right ear. The bone surrounding the ear was shattered; he was now deaf in that ear and worse of all, the time recovering prevented the college scouts from seeing him pitch. The scholarships Rick counted on to pay for college never materialized.

Without a scholarship, Rick enrolled at a state college and had just started his junior year when the Twin Towers were destroyed. On September 14th, Rick walked into the local Army Recruiter's office with every intention of signing up. It never occurred to him that he wouldn't be eligible, he was a six-foot, one-hundred-ninety-pound specimen of early manhood. He could bench press two-hundred and sixty pounds and run the quarter mile in fifty-eight seconds.

The recruiter shook his hand and was kind enough to say, "Thanks son, we would have loved to have you join the team." before rejecting him for the deafness in his right ear.

Rick never shared the rejection with anyone. There wasn't a logical reason for the secrecy; he certainly had no reason to feel ashamed for the physical disability. He just never got over the feeling of inadequacy and carried it deep down in his soul for years.

Rick graduated with a degree in Finance and began working at a local branch of a growing bank, Washington Mutual. It was 2003 and the mortgage market was going gangbusters. It wasn't unusual for Rick to close a dozen mortgages every week in addition to the numerous second mortgages and home equity loans. The economy was growing, Rick felt good because he was helping people buy their dream house or use the equity of their homes to purchase things -- boats, new cars, swimming pools -- that the average working class person could never have dreamed owning before this economic boom.

It was a year after graduation when Rick met Stacy Wallace. He was playing outfield and hitting clean-up in an adult baseball league when he saw the cute brunette wearing a modest blouse and not-so-modest pair of summer shorts in the stands with one of his teammate's wives. After the game, Jeff and Jenny introduced Rick to Stacy and asked if he'd like to join the three of them at the local pub to "get a pint".

Rick and Stacy were sitting at the table with their drinks waiting as Jeff and Jenny were talking to another couple at the bar. It was Stacy that broke the ice. "It's been at least three years since the last time getting set-up."

Rick laughed, "They didn't even attempt any subtlety, but that's all right with me. I hope you're all right with it."

It was Stacy's turn to laugh; Rick noticed how her blue eyes seemed to shine as she laughed. "More than all right. In fact, so much better than the last time. Without sounding mean, he was pretty much full of himself; I never got a word in as he regaled me in how wonderful he was."

"Well, it's easy to see why. He was trying hard to impress a beautiful lady."

Stacy blushed. "Ah, flattery instead of boasting. Is that your technique?"

As soon as she said it, Stacy blushed even more than before. Her cheeks were practically burning when she apologized. "I'm sorry, Rick. That was a mean thing to say. I'm a little nervous here and that came out all wrong."

"Nervous? What are you nervous about?"

"I've been nervous ever since Jenny pointed you out on the ball field and told me we were going out afterwards. I watched you play and wondered if you'd be disappointed."

Rick was looking at Stacy and wondering what planet this woman came from. She was a five-seven, maybe one-twenty-pound vision of beauty. How could this woman not know how attractive she was? "Why would I be disappointed?"

Stacy hadn't finished her first pint and still found her lips outrunning her brain; she said the first thing that came to her. "Well, look at you. You're gorgeous."

Rick couldn't believe it; now it was his turn to blush. "Ah, flattery! Does that work for you?"

It was the perfect moment for Jeff and Jenny to rejoin them at the table. Jenny looked at the two of them; trying to figure out if this was another one of her disastrous attempts at playing Cupid. "What happened?"

Jeff was giving Jenny a stern look and ready to tell her, "See I told you to mind your own business." but before he could get the words out, Stacy interrupted him.

"Thank goodness you two came back! Rick and I were ready to embarrass ourselves into the next decade."

Jenny was confused and reverted to her standard mode of operations whenever she was confused. "Come with me, I need to use the powder room." She pulled Stacy by the arm and headed to the restroom.

Rick looked at Jeff. "Powder room?"

Jeff could only shake his head; three years married to Jenny taught him when to keep his mouth shut. "Don't ask."

"OK." Rick finished his first pint, noticed Jeff's glass was almost dry and ordered two more from the waitress as she passed by. "I like her. She's funny, pretty and there's something about those eyes and that smile."

"Jenny will be happy. Her track record at this kind of thing sucks."

"Are you going to tell me why she's still single?"

"Same reason you are. There are a lot of losers and users out there. It's hard to find the right one."

"You seem to have found the right one. I envy you and Jenny."

Jeff smiled back. "I'm a lucky man."

"So, do you think I'm getting a good grade in there?" Rick was nodding toward the bathroom door.

"I'd be surprised if you're not. I was watching you two while I was at the bar. There's a chemistry there." Jeff looked up. "Here they come."

The two ladies came back to the table, both grinning. If there was any doubt, Stacy put it to rest when she moved her chair just a little bit closer to Rick's. The four of them drank, talked and laughed for the next two hours.

That was the start. Rick and Stacy were a couple from that evening on. Stacy was a junior high 'Language Arts' (we used to call it 'English') teacher and was taking graduate level classes during the summer. Even though Rick's typical work week consisted of fifty-plus hours at his desk with at least one evening in the branch, they still found time to be together every weekend and at least two nights a week. Their romance grew.

And like any great romance, there were obstacles to overcome. The biggest obstacle was Stacy's father, Colonel Wallace. The Colonel was a tough Army lifer who had little regard for civilians, especially civilian men who never served. More than once, Rick considered telling the Colonel why he hadn't served, but given some of the Colonel's outlandish statements regarding 'slackers', knew it wouldn't make a difference to the old man. Besides, as near as he could tell, despite growing up as an Army brat, Stacy didn't seem to share her father's views on the subject and the Colonel didn't interfere with their budding romance.

Neither were very experienced when it came to sex, but they worked hard to please each other. Bringing home 'Joy of Sex', 'Kama Sutra', some porn (which Rick stopped bringing home because all the guys had eight-inch dicks and all the girls looked like someone put cantaloupes in their breasts). With hard work and a desire to please each other, things continued to improve in the bedroom department.

It wasn't all about sex, Rick and Stacy found they had a lot in common, such as their values and hopes for the future. Would they have two children or three? Would they raise their children as Catholics or Methodists? It didn't matter to either of them, as long as the children grew up with a moral compass to guide them through the labyrinth of life.

After six months of dating, five months after pledging exclusiveness to each other, Rick asked Stacy for her hand in marriage. Stacy said 'yes' and four months later, Rick and Stacy were married and heading to Jamaica for their honeymoon.

Rick never shared it with anyone, but the sexiest thing he experienced up to that point in his life was the morning his sweet, conservative wife removed her top while lounging on the public beach. There were a few other women doing the same, which gave his wife the courage to bare those beautiful B-cup breasts in such a public setting. Besides, she enjoyed watching her new husband's eyes practically pop out of their sockets, almost like watching a Warner Brothers' cartoon.

The week spent in the Caribbean sun, with the sand, warm water, the drinks and the food, was a perfect way for these two sweet kids to start married life. Rick couldn't believe that such a gorgeous woman, inside and out, agreed to be his partner in life. One day, as they were wading in the clear water, Rick marveled at how Stacy's eyes glowed with the same blue hue as the Caribbean Sea. He could see himself growing old with her, for as long as those eyes smiled on him.

That night, watching Stacy remove the sundress she wore to dinner, he knew he was one lucky man. Stacy undressed as slow as she could, considering she only wore a dress, panties and sandals. When she was nude and saw Rick's reaction, she started to get wet, thinking how Rick would make certain she was satisfied. Stacy only had two lovers before meeting Rick, she was one of those rare girls to get through high school and her first two years of college and still a virgin. Both boys were clumsy, neither had the skill or equipment to get her off; every orgasm Stacy experienced 'pre-Rick' was by her own hand. Now, that was a thing of the past, Rick was an attentive lover.

The honeymoon over, they returned home committed to building a life together.

With the luxury of 20/20 hindsight, it's easy to find fault with the decisions Rick and Stacy made over the next few years. But if all the 'Great Minds' at the Federal Reserve Bank, the Treasury Department, Congress, the White House and almost every financial institution could miss the coming tidal wave of events that created the Great Recession, can we really expect more from two people who put their trust in those 'Great Minds'?

It was 2007, and like many young couples that year, as home prices continued to climb to obscene levels, Rick and Stacy panicked and bought a house when the market was reaching its peak. Why continue to pour money down the drain by renting when they could build equity? The house they bought, a modest three-bedroom bi-level, would probably have been priced at two-hundred thousand in 2003. By the time the Wilson's bought it in 2007, winning a bidding war for the right to buy it, the closing price was four-hundred-twenty. The realtor told them they were lucky to 'steal' it with such a low bid.

Just after securing their first home and mortgage, Stacy came up with what they both thought was a brilliant idea. Stacy would quit teaching for one year, finish her Masters' degree in a single year instead of the three summer school years. As a bonus, she'd use the year to get pregnant and have a few months with the baby before going back to work. With her Masters' she would receive a nice increase in salary and be able to teach high school. They put it all down on paper: the timeline, the finances, the logistics -- it all penciled out. Rick was doing fantastic in his job - he recently received a nice bump in base pay and a bonus - they could make this work.

Everything was going as expected, almost like clockwork. It was late November when Stacy told Rick her period was three weeks late and bought a test kit to confirm it. The timing couldn't be any better, the baby was due mid-July. Stacy could spend two months with the newborn before returning to teaching; just like they planned.

The best laid plans so often go awry.

In April of 2008 the mortgage market began to implode, Washington Mutual started to close offices and lay off people, especially in the mortgage departments. Rick was one of the causalities.

Rick would end up unemployed for five months before eventually landing a job as one of two assistant managers at a discount department store. The pay was roughly half of what Rick made at the bank. The assistant managers were required to switch shifts every month and split weekend duties.

On May 15th, Stacy went into labor. Amy Wilson was born seven weeks early. It would be three weeks before the Wilson's could bring Amy home to the nursery Stacy and Rick decorated for their little girl. The hospital bills piled up, Rick's COBRA insurance plan paid some of the bills, but not nearly what his previous employment plan would have paid.

Stacy still graduated that semester and secured a teaching position at the local high school. This gave her ten weeks at home with Amy before the school year started. Stacy's mom had agreed to watch Amy when Rick worked day shift at the store.

There were two incomes, but still not enough to pay all the bills. They were upside-down on their mortgage, selling the house wasn't an option. Amy had a series of health issues: colic, ear infections and so on, that prevented any of them from getting a decent night's sleep. The weight of it all continued to press down on Rick and Stacy. Weeks would go by without any physical intimacy between the two. Working the 4pm to 11pm shift every other month and so many weekends severely cut into the time Rick could spend with Stacy. Best friends became roommates.

The tiny cracks in the Wilson marriage began to widen during Stacy's second year teaching at the high school. That was the year Kyle Turner, the new Phys Ed teacher, began at the school. Kyle was a fantastic specimen, six-three, two-hundred twenty and built like a linebacker. Long blonde hair and somehow, always with a trace of a beard on his face, just enough to give him a rugged look. The female teachers, young and old, began whispering about the young teacher after the first day of preparations for the new school year.

Since these were prep days, two weeks before the first day of classes, most everyone was dressed casually. Stacy was wearing a pair of shorts, not Daisy Dukes, but short enough to show off her long, tan legs. Stacy's top was equally flattering, unbuttoned just above the point where her cleavage would be on display if she bent over. She couldn't dress this way once class started but having spent the summer getting her body back to her pre-pregnancy shape, she felt she deserved to show off a little. She never expected to find a hunk like Kyle Turner sitting in the room that first day.

Kyle noticed Stacy right off. He saw the legs, the breasts, the cute face, and he saw the rings on her left hand. The rings didn't upset him, Stacy wouldn't be the first married woman to attract Kyle's attention. In fact, he liked them married -- the sex without any strings attached was part of the fascination, almost as great as the secret knowledge of cuckolding some poor sap.

Kyle's pursuit of Stacy began the first day, slowly at first because he had all the time in the world. He was already screwing his neighbor, who was also a Biology teacher here, so horniness wasn't a factor. Besides, half the fun was in the chase.

The rumors started that first week, from where -- no one knew. Kyle was supposedly an ex-Special Forces Ranger or Seal, everybody who heard the story was impressed and had no doubt it must be true. Just the way Kyle carried himself gave off that aura -- this is a man who faced danger and came home, became a teacher and would help young men grow up to be like him.

Kyle hadn't started the rumors, he wasn't stupid. But he never denied anything, never said one way or another how he spent three years in the Navy. His silence only helped to intensify the mystique and made him seem modest.

The truth was, Kyle Turner spent those three years working in a stateside supply depot. It was the perfect job for him; he found out after signing up right out of high school that he hated military life. Working in the supply depot meant he never had to fire a gun or be close to any action; it also allowed him to spend a couple hours in the base gym every day. There's no disgrace in how Kyle spent those three years, if only he was honest whenever anyone asked.

As if the fates were working against the Wilson marriage, both Stacy and Kyle had the same free period each day, right before the lunch period. Once Kyle established that Stacy was anxious to continue her workouts, he suggested she use the school's weight room on Tuesdays and Thursdays when the room was free.

"It'll be fun for me to work out with you instead of the sweaty Schwarzenegger's I usually lift with down at the gym and I might be able to help with your routines."

It made a lot of sense and it's how Stacy ended up spending two hours each week with Kyle.

One day in February, Kyle surprised Stacy while they were working out.

"I've been writing a short novel. I finished the first draft and wonder if you could read it and give me your thoughts."

Stacy responded exactly how Kyle wanted, she didn't treat him like an illiterate gym teacher. "I'd love to. What's it about?"

"It's a war story, but that's all I want to say. I'd rather you read it without any preconceived notions."

"I can do that."

"I'll bring it after last period, thanks."

That evening, while Rick was at work and after Amy went to bed, Stacy began reading Kyle's short novel about a Navy Seal in Iraq. Stacy finished the first half before Rick came home. She could have finished it that night; but writing notes in the margin for Kyle's second draft slowed her down. The main character's name was Tyler and Stacy couldn't help but believe that Tyler was a pseudonym for Kyle and wondered if this was a true story. (Of course, this is exactly what Kyle had in mind when he wrote the story and asked Stacy to review it for him.) Stacy thought the name Tyler was clever, a combination of Turner and Kyle.

The next evening, Rick was working, Amy was in bed, and Stacy was reading the second half of the novel. This second half contained a chapter describing Tyler's exploits while on R&R in Italy. The passage was very steamy; Stacy dropped her editing pen and her fingers were inside her PJ bottoms before she knew it.

Tyler never had a problem finding a good woman to spend his days and nights with during previous R&Rs, but the three weeks he spent in Italy, after five months laying waste to the Taliban, exceeded all expectations.

It started the first night in Amalfi, he and Greg North were sitting in a little café having after dinner drinks, when two young ladies approached their table.