The Weight

Rick hadn't noticed the other car approaching when he finally made up his mind to get on with it. His foot moved from the brake to the gas pedal, his left foot releasing the clutch, and he was on his way. Suddenly, his subconscious mind registered a sound and his eyes refocused on the car heading in his direction.

With a start, Rick slammed on the brakes. What the hell was Stacy's car doing here? He looked out the open driver's side window to see Stacy in her car, stopped next to him.

"Rick, what are you doing here?"

Rick shook his head. He had been so determined to overcome his fear of death that he appeared drugged. He just stared at his wife, trying to understand what she was saying.

"Rick, where is Amy?" A horrible thought entered her mind, Stacy jumped out of her car and ran up to Rick's truck, looking into the cab.

Rick still hadn't said a word, he just stared at his wife in that pretty dress.

"Richard, come home. We have to talk."

Stacy walked back to her car and waited until he turned his truck around before following him home. As soon as she entered the house, she went to their bedroom to change, then entered the kitchen five minutes later where Rick was sitting at the table. She made a quick call to her mother, "Mom, can you keep Amy for the evening, please?" then sat down. Before she could say a word, Rick spoke up.

"You looked nice this evening. I haven't seen that dress since before you were pregnant with Amy. I take it you weren't going to book club. Did you have a date?"

It was no time for deception. "Yes, I did. I'm sorry." Stacy started to cry.

Her tears didn't move him; Rick was both madder and sadder than at any time in his life. "Are you moving out?"

Stacy understood how serious this was. "Oh god, no. I want to stay. Please, I know I screwed up, I know things have been awful around here and most of it is my fault. I want you to know I want to rebuild our marriage and that I never physically cheated on you."

"But you've been emotionally cheating, haven't you?"

"Yes, I'm sorry and I'm ashamed of myself."

"Tell me about it and tell me who he is. After you tell me, I'll decide whether you and I have a chance."

Stacy told Rick everything that led up to tonight, including what happened to change her mind. No soft-soaping, no deceit. Rick listened without interruption. When Stacy finished with another apology, she couldn't wait any longer. "That's it, Rick. You know it all. Now, it's your turn. Tell me why you were on the Curve."

Rick told Stacy how he wanted to die and planned to end it all this evening. Before he finished, Stacy was in his lap, holding his head, crying on his chest. She looked up at his eyes and pleaded. "Please, Rick. I love you. Let's re-commit ourselves to one another and try to get back to being friends and lovers. I don't want to live without you."

Rick was glad to hear Stacy wanted to stay married; but had to ask. "How do we do that?"

"First, we swallow our pride and ask for help."

"Not much pride in trying to off oneself, and forgive me, and none in planning to meet a lover in some hotel; so pride shouldn't be an issue. Who do we ask for help?"

Rick's comment about the hotel room stung; but Stacy knew she deserved it.

"We ask Mom. The last time she offered to lend us money, we were too proud and refused. She has the money she inherited when my grandfather died, it's in CDs and she offered to lend us what we needed if we paid her the same interest rate as what she's getting from the bank, three percent. And we don't have to pay her the principal until we're back on our feet. We'll use most of the money to pay back all but our mortgage, we'll use some to see a marriage counselor. We need help, Rick. We can't do this on our own."

Rick didn't agree to this that night. Stacy and Rick spent the next week discussing the pros and cons. They finally agreed after deciding an experienced third party would be needed to overcome the trust issues each of them had.

How could Rick learn to trust Stacy again after committing emotional adultery and coming so close to cheating? The thought of Stacy getting fucked by or even kissing another man made him sick.

How could Stacy learn to trust Rick? A man who came so close to committing suicide. Could she trust him with her life or with their daughter's? Stacy had trouble overcoming the fear of what Rick might do.

Before all this, other events came to a head.

Stacy went back to school Friday morning and all hell broke loose during the third period, Stacy's free period. Kyle walked into Stacy's classroom madder than a hornet. He didn't see the two students working on the bulletin board in the back of the room.

"Just where the fuck were you last night? I not only got stood up at the restaurant, sitting there by myself like some asshole, I paid for the goddamn hotel room where I waited while pulling my putz just in case you were running late."

The two young girls ran out of the room and if Kyle had any sense at all, he would have taken off. But he was on a roll and still ranting and threatening when the vice-principal entered the classroom. She had to shout to get Kyle's attention. "Ms. Wilson, Mr. Turner -- my office immediately!"

Word of the altercation spread like wildfire, although the full facts were twisted. Danielle Miller thought this was the perfect time to drop her bombshell with the information from Uncle Fred. Anonymously, Danielle let it be known that Kyle Turner had served, but was a clerk stateside, never any kind of special forces hero. Everyone felt Kyle lied and stolen honor, even if it was a lie of omission. Any sympathy Kyle counted on quickly dissipated. His language in front of those students and the threats overheard by the vice-principal were his undoing. Without tenure, Kyle was gone that afternoon.

Stacy fared better. She was counselled; but since she hadn't violated any school rules, could stay with a warning to avoid any future indiscretions.

Stacy's mother did lend the money, they did use it to pay their outstanding bills, and they did start going to a marriage counselor who helped them rediscover their partnership and love. A big moment in the recovery occurred a couple months later. Stacy, Rick and Amy were visiting Stacy's mom and dad, Stacy and the Colonel were in the den when everyone in the kitchen heard Stacy's raised voice.

"Poppa, it wasn't Rick's fault the economy went to hell and Amy was born premature! HE supported my decision to quit work and go back to school! HE works over fifty hours a week at a job he hates to help us keep our heads above water. HE has done nothing but be a faithful husband and a great father; and if you can't respect a man like that, then I feel sorry for you! If I hear one more disparaging remark about MY husband out of your mouth, you will never see me OR your granddaughter again."

Stacy came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed Amy out of her mother's arms and told Rick they were leaving. "I will not listen to that man's putdowns any longer. Sorry Momma." She was headed out the door and getting Amy in her car seat. Rick gave his mother-in-law a kiss on the cheek before following Stacy with a big smile on his face. It was the first time Stacy had ever stood up to the Colonel on his behalf.

It's hard to explain how this one incident changed Rick's self-respect. The renewed faith in his marriage and in himself gave him the confidence to start a search for a better job with Stacy's encouragement. Within three months of that afternoon at the in-law's, Rick was hired by an expanding credit union to be their head of corporate sales. The economy was picking up by then and with the combination of salary and bonuses, Rick was earning slightly more than before the layoff.

It was two years since that fateful evening at The Curve. A tight budget allowed the Wilson's to pay down more than half of what they owed Stacy's mother, a year with the counselor gave them the tools to be both trustworthy and to trust each other. Stacy no longer worried whenever Rick left the house with Amy and Rick didn't worry on Stacy's book club nights.

Rick came home one night to find his favorite meal on the stove and Amy missing. Amy was at her grandparents' -- the Colonel had long ago learned to keep his mouth shut at his wife's insistence ("If you think I'm going to let you keep me away from my grandbaby, you've got another thing coming.")

Stacy asked Rick to sit down.

"Rick, I've been working on this and have it all figured out. I want a second honeymoon and a second child."

Rick didn't know which of Stacy's demands stunned him more. "Can we afford either one?"

Stacy was pleased Rick didn't just flat out say 'no'.

"I've been researching packages and we can book six days in Jamaica for less than two thousand, all inclusive."

"What about Amy?"

"Mom agreed to watch Amy."

Rick smiled, thinking to himself how much fun six days with his wife could be. The last time they had more than one night of 'alone-time' was four years ago, before Amy was born. "Well, book it if you haven't already. Now, what's this about a second child?"

"We always said we wanted at least two. I got scared after Amy's health issues, but I talked to my doctor and she said there was a less than one in twenty chance our second child would be premature. That most women whose first child are premature have a full term second pregnancy. Plus, my insurance from the school is so much better than what we had before. Even if there are complications, most everything would be covered this time."

"Can I say 'yes' now to the vacation and think about the second child for a bit?"

Stacy agreed and that's how they'd find themselves back on the same beach in Jamaica four weeks later. On the plane down to Jamaica, Rick surprised Stacy.

"Leave the diaphragm out this week, babe. Maybe we'll get lucky down there and give Amy a brother or sister."

Stacy couldn't say a word, with tears in her eyes, she hugged and kissed Rick. "Thank you."

If Rick wondered if this trip could top their honeymoon, he needn't have worried. Within five minutes of setting down on their lounges, Stacy's top was off. At dinner that evening, Stacy wore the sexiest sundress imaginable. On the third morning, Stacy woke Rick up soon after the sun came up and dragged Rick to a section of the beach they'd never been to before.

Stacy completely shocked Rick when she dropped her bikini top and bottom before running into the warm water. Rick shook out of his stupor, dropped his trunks and joined Stacy.

The two of them were treading water, Rick had to ask. "How did you know about this?"

"That woman I was talking to last night, Janice, told me about it. She and her husband come down here most mornings."

"Is this legal?"

"Janice said as long as you're dressed by nine when the locals show up, no one cares. She did say to watch our suits back on the beach. One couple were surprised when some kids came by and stole their suits."

Rick didn't like the sound of that, imaging how the hell they'd get back to their resort if all they had were their birthday suits. "Let's swim closer to shore, just in case."

Stacy laughed before turning and starting a backstroke toward shore. Rick stayed back a minute, marveling at the sight of her breasts and vagina, wet and shining, poking up over the water's surface.

When Rick caught up with Stacy, he had to ask. "Are we going to run into your friend and her husband?"

"Not if we're out of here by eight. That's why I woke you up so early."

They spent the next half hour skinny-dipping, kissing and hugging. They didn't want to push their luck, so got back into their suits and jogged back to the resort. Back in the room, they stripped, showered, dried off before going back to bed.

Their second child, a boy they named Richard Junior, may have been conceived that morning.

Eight months after returning from Jamaica, Stacy was sitting in her classroom preparing for first period, when she received a surprise visitor. She looked up from her notes to find Angel Martinez standing in the doorway.

"Mrs. Wilson, may I come in?"

"Of course Angel, what are you doing here?"

"I'll be here at Lincoln for the next twelve weeks as a student teacher. I'll be in Mr. Bowers' classroom teaching Chemistry."

Stacy rose up and awkwardly hugged her ex-student, awkward because her belly held the baby. "That's wonderful. Mr. Bowers is a fantastic teacher; you'll learn a lot from him. And if you need me for anything, I'll be here for another couple weeks, I hope."

"Excuse me for saying, Mrs. Wilson, but you look ready to deliver any moment. I'm so happy for you and Mr. Wilson."

"Yes, we're blessed." When Stacy said it, she was actually thinking of how blessed she was that Angel forgot her Ethics book all those years ago.

School was about to start, the two women hugged, and Angel left the room. "Thank you, Angel." Stacy softly whispered, not loud enough for Angel to hear.

Many years later, on the eve of Amy's wedding, Stacy sat down with her daughter and told Amy how close she came to committing adultery. She explained how she became disillusioned due to their money struggles and why she felt entitled to the point that she came within an hour of making the biggest mistake of her life, a mistake that would have broken apart their family. She told Amy how hard they worked to rebuild the trust and the marriage. How happy she was that Amy's father forgave her and gave the marriage a second chance. Both women ended up hugging and crying.

The next morning, hours before the wedding, Amy approached her father. "Dad, mom told me what happened all those years ago. I guess she doesn't want me to make the same mistakes. What she couldn't tell me is why you didn't leave her."

Rick wasn't surprised that Stacy shared her story with Amy. Although Rick forgave her long ago, Stacy never fully forgave herself. It was just like her to use her mistake to try and warn Amy away from life's temptations, even if it meant exposing herself.

"Well, it would have been much more difficult, if not impossible, if your mother went into that hotel room. But, she didn't. And your mother not only apologized for how close she came to cheat on me but apologized for everything that preceded that night.

"Most of all, I spent time contemplating what my life would be like without you and your mother. I'm certain I'd have been lonely and sad. Instead, I spent the past twenty years happier than any one man has the right to be given how close I came to screwing it all up."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say it was a tough time in our marriage. Today's not a good day to get into all the mistakes your father made or almost made in his life. Let's have a great wedding today and I promise someday we'll have a drink and I'll tell you why your mother is the best wife in the world."

Amy didn't like it, but agreed. And silently made a vow - someday soon she'd buy her dad that drink and hear his story.

Rick wondered if he'd tell Amy the entire story, what no one else in the world knew. How a few days after Stacy's confession, Rick kicked in the door of Kyle Turner's apartment, ready to beat the shit out of the asshole, only to find Turner had already left town.