The White Room Revisited

Noting that Nick still looked doubtful, the Being continued, "You both have remained happily bonded in the time since we last brought you here, yes? Most of our test subjects have not. Even the ones that formed amicable relationships by the end eventually realized they were drawn together more by the sexual stimuli than by any true feelings for one another. So do not fear that you were somehow... What's the term you use? Ah, yes. Brainwashed. We did not brainwash you. The emotional bond you have formed has strictly been of your own making."

"So, why did you choose to pair us?" Chloe asked.

"You were compatible."

"You told us that before," said Nick, "when we first arrived. But that doesn't explain anything."

"You humans, always wanting an answer for everything," the Being sighed, sounding aggravated for the first time. "We could spend the next century of your time explaining everything to you, and even with your mental capacity expanded as it now is, you would still be unable to grasp it all. Genetics, upbringing, environment, mental states, personalities; there are billions of different calculations that go into choosing who to pair. And even with all of that, we still got so many wrong. Can you not simply be happy with the fact that, in your case, we made the proper pairing, and leave it at that?"

"We are happy you brought us together," said Nick, "and thankful for it. But you took a gamble with our lives, our mental well-being, for your little science project. And it wasn't exactly all sunshine and roses when we got back, either."

"Sunshine and...? Ah, yes. An idiom. We understand. And we apologize for any... inconveniences we may have caused."

"Tell that to my parents," Chloe grumbled. "I had one hell of a time trying to explain why their twenty-one year old daughter was suddenly putting her education and career goals on hold to marry a man twice her age she'd only just met and have his baby."

"We struggled those first few years," Nick chimed in. "As close as we'd become during our time here, there were still adjustments we needed to make, things we needed to learn about each other. Sacrifices we needed to make for the sake of our child. And then there were those lingering doubts about just how much free will we'd had in the whole encounter. And that affected our relationship. We... we almost didn't make it."

"But you did make it. And I have already explained that we did not influence or force your feelings of love towards one another."

Nick was startled. "Did you just say 'I?'"

"I do not understand the question."

"There!" Nick exclaimed, "You just did it again! You said 'I,' not 'WE.'"

The Being using Adora's face looked at first confused, then contemplative. "So I did. Fascinating. Being separated from the collective is apparently beginning to affect my thought processes. An interesting development."

"You're becoming an individual," said Chloe. "Starting to think, and FEEL, like us. I've noticed it several times before. You've expressed emotions when you spoke, something you never did before taking over Adora."

"I have not 'taken over' your child. We share this mind and body willingly. If she had fought it, I would have been rejected."

"It's true, Mom," Adora herself spoke. "I'm not being held captive. I can come forward, take back control, anytime I wish."

"Good," said Nick, "then boot that thing out. I'm done with you being their little science project. I want to go home."

"No," Adora said firmly.

Nick flushed with anger. "Adora, sweetheart, listen. You may think you're in control, that you have free will. But how can you be sure? How can WE? They could still be manipulating you without your knowledge."

"You'll just have to trust me, Dad," Adora said calmly. "And trust ...them? It? What exactly should we call you now?" The last part was directed, not at her father, but the Being inside her.

"Interesting question."

Nick could not help but be reminded of the conversations between Smeagol and Gollum in The Lord Of The Rings as the Being continued, "As a collective, we have never established individual identities. And while I am still part of that collective, I am now also an independent being. An interesting contradiction."

"Well, we need to be able to call you something," said Adora. "If your goal is to learn how to become individual, physical lifeforms again, perhaps you should start by choosing a name."

"A name? Ah, yes. A word or a combination of words by which a person, place or thing, a body or class, or any object of thought is designated, called, or known."

"Yes," said Adora, "and names often have meanings, helping to identify characteristics of the object or person. Most of us don't get to choose our own names; they are given to us. But as your first act as an individual being, I think you should choose any name you like."

The White Room was quiet for the moment as the Being contemplated this.

"Very well, then. You may call me... Vanda."

"Vanda? That's a lovely name," said Chloe. "Vanda, do you have a preferred gender pronoun you would like us to use?"

Again the Being now called Vanda thought before answering. "Adora identifies as female, 'she' and 'her.' Since I am sharing her mind and body, I will also share that identification."

"Then it's settled," said Nick. "Congratulations, Vanda. You have taken your first step in becoming more... human. So. What's next?"

"I wish to return to your world with you. To experience what it is like living in a physical reality. To share in your experiences, to better understand them. I can then pass my findings on to the Collective."

"For how long?" Chloe asked.

"Unknown," replied Vanda. "I sense your concern. I assure you this arrangement will be temporary, unless agreed on by my host. Should Adora choose, she can send me away at any time. There is much we can learn from each other, given the chance. But neither I nor the Collective will force this upon your family. That would only taint our results and hinder our progress. The choice is yours. If you refuse, I will return to the Collective and we will move on, begin again. Although we would suffer a major setback in our efforts."

"I want to help them," Adora spoke, coming forward, "I know you're both worried. I know you're scared. I am, too. But I also know I need to do this. I've wanted to help better our world for as long as I can remember. Now I have a chance to help, not just Vanda and her people, but ours as well. Think of what we could learn from them!"

"You're an adult now, Adora," said Chloe. "You're free to make your own choices. If this is what you wish, your father and I will support you. Won't we, Nick?"

Nick let out a long sigh. "Of course. Not that I see any alternative."

"Thank you." Vanda actually sounded grateful. "I assure you, all I wish is to better understand what it is to be human."

Nick gave a rough laugh. "Well, you know the old saying, or maybe you don't: Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."

-------------------------------------------

Nick woke in the dark of his bedroom to the sound of screams. Despite the coolness from the air conditioning, his body was soaked with sweat.

He was alone. Chloe's side of the bed was empty. "Was I dreaming?"

The scream echoed again, coming from Adora's room.

Nick scrambled out of bed, naked as he'd always slept. He briefly considered grabbing a robe before dismissing it as the screams intensified, instead dashing down the hall to his daughter's room.

Chloe was already there, still naked as well, her arms around Adora, attempting to comfort her.

It was only then that Nick realized it wasn't Adora who was screaming. It was Vanda.

"What's wrong?" Chloe was pleading. "Try and breathe. Just breathe. Tell us what's wrong."

"Too much! It's too much!" Vanda repeated, trying to control her sobs, "I was not prepared! Too much input at once! Sights, smells, sounds! It's too..."

Her face suddenly went placid, her eyes closed.

When they opened again, it was Adora who spoke. "Sorry. I'm sorry if we scared you."

"What happened?" Chloe asked.

"I was unconscious for a few moments after we returned, and Vanda was alone in my body for the first time.

"She wasn't ready. This environment, this world, is entirely new to her. At least actually being a physical part of it. She's experiencing things she's never experienced before. It frightened her. And that in itself was new and terrifying."

"Is she okay?" Chloe asked. "Where is she now?"

"She's... resting. Pulled back. I took over as soon as I woke up and realized she was overwhelmed. I think she's going to need a minute."

"Yeah, well, now she knows how it feels to wake up in an entirely different reality," Nick snipped.

"Oh, hush," Chloe chided him. "Don't be an asshole."

Nick flushed but said no more.

"Mom? Dad? I appreciate your concern, but I think I need to be alone with her for a while. Can you give us some privacy, please?"

"Of course, dear." Chloe kissed her forehead. "We'll be right down the hall if you need us."

As Nick and Chloe made their way to the door, Adora let out a soft laugh.

"What's so funny?" Nick asked, turning to her.

Adora gave him a crooked grin. "I guess we all still sleep naked, huh?"

Nick noticed his daughter's bare breasts in the moonlight for the first time. "Yeah, I guess we do."

Now alone, Adora turned her thoughts inwards, towards Vanda. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"Better, thank you."

Adora smiled. "Good, I'm glad. Would you like to come forward again?"

"Yes. But stay with me, please?"

"Of course. I'll be right here."

Tentatively, Vanda came forward. Again she was assaulted by a variety of sensations. She immediately pulled back. "I can not do this."

"Yes you can," coaxed Adora. "Tell you what; before you can deal with all the external stimulus, let's try focusing on the internal. Get you used to having a body."

"What do you suggest?"

"Hmm. Perhaps we should try mediation. Are you familiar with it?"

"There are multiple definitions of the term meditation."

"I know that, silly. Search my memory banks, you'll find what I'm referring to."

"Ah, yes. I understand now. Meditation for reflection, relaxation, inner peace. I will try this."

"Good. That's it. Close our eyes. Block out the visual input and just focus on the other senses. Concentrate on breathing. Take long, deep, slow breaths. Listen to our heartbeat. Feel it beating in our chest. Feel the rise and fall of our chest as we breathe. Hear the intake and exhale of air. Be in the moment. Don't think, just feel."

Vanda followed Adora's coaching. Now upright on the bed, she sat cross-legged, arms folded across her lap, mimicking the pose she had seen in Adora's memory.

"You do this often?"

"Yes. Whenever I'm stressed or overwhelmed. Now, hush. Concentrate."

Vanda fell silent, as did Adora, although she could sense her host nearby, ready to come forward again if needed.

After several minutes, Adora spoke softly. "How are you feeling?"

Vanda hesitated before answering. "Feeling" was still such a new concept to her, and she had to search for the proper words. "I feel... fine. Relaxed. Peaceful. And... itchy?"

Adora laughed. Vanda found the sound of it pleasant. "Go ahead and scratch if you need to."

Vanda scratched at their nose absently. "Hey, not so rough!" Adora objected. "Watch the fingernails!"

"My apologies. I am still getting used to moving this body. Did I harm you?"

"No, it's fine. Ready to try something else?"

"Yes."

"Then open our eyes."

Slowly, Vanda opened their eyes. The room was dark, illuminated only by the moonlight streaming through the window.

Vanda cautiously looked around, making out various shapes, putting names to them from Adora's memory; chair, dresser, lamp, mirror.

Her eyes darted back to the mirror when she saw movement, and after a quick memory search, understood it to be their reflection.

"That is... you? Us?"

"Yes."

"I... I wish to see us more clearly."

"Of course."

Vanda awkwardly scooted her borrowed body across the bed. Finding her feet, she wobbled slightly, Adora helping to steady her as she stood.

Shuffling slowly across the room, she stopped in front of the full length mirror beside the dresser.

Although the moonlight was faint, Vanda could see herself clearly.

"Your body is quite pleasing to look at," said Vanda softly.

"Thank you. But it's your body now, too."

"May I touch it?"

"Of course. Just, again, be mindful of the fingernails."

Vanda raised her hands to her face, exploring the high, well defined cheekbones, the bridge of her dainty nose, the curve of her jaw and chin.

Continuing their journey, her hands moved along her neck and well rounded shoulders.

Moving lower, she ran her hands over her breasts. The sensation brought on by the touch made her shiver. "This is... pleasure?"

"A form of it, yes. It can feel good to touch ourselves."

"Yes, we have observed this behavior in your species before. Manual stimulation of specific nerve endings causing an increase of endorphins and..."

"Stop analyzing everything and just focus on the feelings."

Vanda continued to explore her breasts, marveling at the contrast between the softness of her skin and the firmness of the flesh beneath it. Her nipples swelled as her fingers gently tugged at them, sparking a warm flush that flowed down through her abdomen into her loins.

"We are... leaking fluids?"

"Yes. You're getting wet. Very normal."

"There is a throbbing sensation in our... clitoris."

"Yes. My nipples are very sensitive. Your touching them is causing us to become sexually aroused."

"A fascinating sensation. May I continue?"

"Please do."

"I am... unsure how to proceed."

"Access my memories. Use them as a guide. You'll figure it out."

Although Adora was still cognizant of everything Vanda was doing, she had pulled back enough to allow Vanda to be in complete control, the main recipient of the sensations now coursing through their body.

Still, she could sense as Vanda moved her hands along her flat, toned belly, pausing at her pubic mound to explore the soft tuft of hair covering it.

"Our heart rate has increased. Our breathing, shallow and irregular."

"All very normal. Just relax, don't be afraid. Trust me, you're going to enjoy this."

Vanda moved her hand lower, finding the folds of her sex organs. Mindful of the warning Adora had given about the sharp appendage at the tip, she carefully dipped a finger into the slick cleft.

Her body convulsed from the shockwave that ran through her. "Oh! This is...!"

Vanda could not find the words. None of them seemed to fit. During their experiments, she had observed humans engaging in this strange ritual of self pleasure multiple times, finding it interesting yet confusing, as it served no ultimate purpose in human procreation methods.

Now, she understood. The sensations she now identified as sexual arousal coursed through her, interfering with her ability to think clearly.

Instead, her mind raced with various images, flickering with no discernable pattern; human males and females in various states of undress, engaging in a variety of sexual acts.

Intermixed with these were even more confusing imaginings; the warmth of sunshine, the sounds of surf crashing along a beach, the feel of a gentle breeze. The taste of something called "ice cream."

Her fingers moved freely along her feminine parts, savoring each new sensation brought forth from exploring the soft, delicate folds of her inner and outer labia. Instinctively (or, perhaps with Adora's subliminal coaching) she drew up the creamy moisture seeping from her vaginal opening to lubricate the increasingly stimulated flesh.

Her knees buckled, only saved from falling over by Adora, coming forward quickly to steady her.

"What... what just happened?"

"You were close to cumming."

"Coming?"

"Orgasm. You almost had an orgasm."

"Ah, yes. An orgasm. A climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals and..."

"You're over analyzing again."

"I am sorry. It is in my nature. Shall I proceed?"

"Yes. But maybe this will be easier, and safer, on the bed."

"Agreed. The soft material of your mattress should eliminate further risk of potential... You are laughing. What are you finding humorous?"

"Nothing. Nevermind. Let's go lay down."

Back on the bed, head resting comfortably on the pillow, her hand again slipped between her legs. Her hot, almost pulsing sex organs eagerly responded to her touch.

"There are... so many ways ...to bring pleasure, so many ...various types of... touch. It is... difficult to decide... how to..."

"Don't overthink it. Focus on what feels best and just go with it."

"Can you not at least guide me?"

"Look into my memories, if you must. But this will be a much better learning experience for you if you figure it out on your own."

Vanda sighed, frustrated. Taking a few long, deep breaths to calm herself, she began again.

Her fingers slid easily along the length of her cleft, sticky and slippery, the soft petals of her labia parting to make way for them.

The tip of her forefinger found the entrance to her vaginal canal, sending another sharp jolt of almost electric energy through her.

Vanda knew from her research that female humans found penetration highly stimulating; whether digitally, the male sex organ, or one of the endless variety of phallic objects they used for such purposes. But of course she had no personal experience in such things.

She shivered in anticipation as her finger continued its journey inside her, marveling at both the warmth and wetness. An involuntary moan escaped her lips as she stopped, knuckle deep, then wiggled her digit slowly inside the tight space.

Drawing both from Adora's memory and her own observations, Vanda slowly pumped her finger in and out, creating a wet, sucking sound she found both amusing and arousing.

Her entire body felt flushed with a beautiful, enveloping warmth, flowing like waves of energy within her.

The waves increased in speed and intensity, and Vanda had a moment to think of the light beams the Collective had developed to sexually stimulate their human test cases before her body suddenly shook with uncontrollable tremors. The moans she'd been unable to control grew louder, increasing in volume and tempo until her voice burst from within her in pure bliss. Every muscle tensed, and her legs clenched around her hand like a vise.

As the waves slowly receded, her breathing steadied and her pulse slowed.

"Was that...?"

"Yes. Congrats. Not bad for a first timer."

"I want another."

Again, Vanda heard Adora laugh inside their head. "I thought you might. I usually do, too. While an internal orgasm is nice, I usually cum best by... Oh, here, let me help you."

Vanda felt Adora come forward, not taking full control, only just enough to guide her movements.

Her anticipation rose as her fingers landed over her clitoris. It throbbed under her touch as she rubbed it in a steady, circular motion.

Gentle pushes from Adora helped her set the pace, apply the right pressure, and occasionally remember to re-lubricate her fingers with the liquids still dripping steadily from her.

Vanda caught a brief mental image in Adora's mind and without thinking, mimicked the suggestion. Bringing her fingers to her lips, she popped them in her mouth.