The Whole Nine Yards Ch. 02

"I received your email, but I still need you to clarify how a Board of Inquest works." said Judge Taney. "Like a Coroner's Inquest?"

"I think the best way of describing it, Your Honor," I said, "is that it's between a Coroner's Inquest and a Court trial. If someone is accused of something, there can be a defense, unlike a Coroner's Inquest. But it's not as formal as a Court trial, just like this meeting in your Chambers is more informal than an actual hearing or a trial. And the Jury's verdict is more like the Coroner's Inquest Jury's findings, or a Grand Jury's findings when they tour County facilities... not binding like a criminal or even civil Court trial is."

"I think I understand that." said Judge Taney. "Okay, we're about to go to the formal hearing, and the Union is going to call you to the stand. Are you going to take the Fifth?"

"Your Honor," I said, "I think I have a better answer for you...."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Judge Taney ended the informal meeting, and said that the formal hearing would begin at 1:30pm in her Courtroom. I took the liberty of inviting all the TCPD Officers and Mike Todd to the Midtown Luigi's.

"Do we have time?" asked Robert Kalsu. "The waiting line is usually two hours long."

"Oh, I think we'll be okay." I said. Indeed, when we arrived, I handed the receptionist a card, and within two minutes we were seated on the back patio. The plastic sheeting that was used to encapsulate the patio in Winter to keep the heat in was now deployed to keep the air conditioning in, though not perfectly.

"It's warm, but we're seated." I said as everyone sat down. The huge salad and delicious garlic bread sticks alone would've been a full meal, but casseroles of the best lasagna in the State arrived, and everyone began eating hungrily.

"What happened in that private meeting with the Judge?" asked Sheriff Griswold. "I think she had the hots for you, Crowbar. Did she try to drag you into a bathroom stall?" We all broke out laughing at that, and the Sheriff's implication.

"No sir." I replied. "But don't take Judge Taney lightly. She's smart, and she's tricky, too. And she is very much on the Union's side."

"So we're dead, then." groaned the Chief.

"So decertification is our only option?." said Kalsu.

"Well, let's not get over our skis on it." I said. "Judge Taney is looking for a way out. One little secret that 'they' (air quotes) don't tell you is that Federal Judges are really the Judiciary Branch's politicians. They have their politics and agendas, just like the Congresscritters do. Judge Taney is ambitious; she wants to be the Chief Judge in this Circuit, and maybe the Appellate Courts and beyond."

I said: "To that end, she doesn't want to have to make a ruling on this case. Either way, it gets appealed and possibly overturned, and she has egg on her face. So we'll see what she does to weasel out of it------"

"Well, look who's here! The Iron Crowbar!" said a voice, followed an instant later by the presence of State Senator Jimmy 'Coffin' Cerone (D - Southport).

I stood up and shook Cerone's proffered hand. "Just having lunch with my fellow Officers, Senator." I made introductions.

"I won't shake hands with you, since you're all eating." said Cerone. "I'm glad you're enjoying the food." Kalsu and Davis were seated next to each other, and Cerone clapped them on their shoulders. "There was a time when young Police Officers like you being this close to me would worry me, but now I'm just a humble servant of the People. And unlike Media-spread rumors that Organized Crime people don't like Police Officers, in truth they greatly appreciate what you do to keep our Citizens safe and their businesses secure. So enjoy dessert on the House today." Everyone expressed their appreciation.

Dessert was on the House... and I was charged a total of $1.00 for the rest of it...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

1:30pm, Monday, July 20th. When we all walked into the Courtroom from the side door, we saw that the pews were full of people, mostly reporters.

I sat at the Defense table, with my lawyer Mike G. Todd, Esq. The Union Reps and their attorneys sat at the Prosecution table. We all stood, as did everyone in the room, when Judge Taney was announced.

"Be seated, please." she said. As we sat down, she said "This is a preliminary hearing for the case of Police Union v. Town & County Police. The Union may call its first witness."

"Your Honor, we call Police Commander Donald Troy to the stand." said Gwen Munson as loudly as her sweet voice could be made. The Union Reps had allowed her to be the one to call me up. It backfired.

"Objection, Your Honor." said Mike G. Todd. "Commander Troy has been specifically named the defendant in this case, and therefore has the right not to have to testify against himself."

"Your Honor, this isn't a------" Gwen started, but was stopped by Taney's freezing stare, which I had come to learn was well known in judicial circles.

"The objection is sustained." said Taney. "The way the complaint is worded, Commander Troy is specifically listed as the Defendant, and therefore enjoys the right to not have to testify against himself..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

With the wind taken out of their sails, the Union and the TCPD mostly made motions and put things into evidence. The audience seemed mystified by most of it, as things weren't being explained to them as the hearing went along. We'd discussed most of it in the Judge's Chambers.

Finally, at the end, Judge Taney had a swift ruling: "There are two problems with the Union's lawsuit at the Federal level. First, the TCPD followed the protocols outlined in the Collective Bargaining Agreement with regard to the adjudication of the grievance, so the Union's attempt to elevate it to the NLRB and to this Court is not valid. Second, the number of 'Friend of the Court' briefs filed by the Police Officers of the TCPD, who are also the rank-and-file composition of the Union's membership, is far and away the most I've ever seen in a case of this nature, and shows clearly that the Union is acting outside the support of its membership... and outside it's members's interests."

Taney: "There is also another method of adjudicating this case, which is within the bounds of the CBA, and which should be taken to ascertain the truthful facts: a Town & County Board of Inquest. And as I read the new Charter, I believe I can refer this case to the Board of Inquest for a finding and a ruling, and from that point on it will be in the hands of the Town & County Council. And that is what I'm doing: I'm ordering this to be remanded to the Town & County I.G. for a Board of Inquest, and I am dismissing the lawsuit at the Federal level. This Court is adjourned."

With a bang of her gavel, Judge Taney ended the session and walked out the side door towards her Chambers. The Union Reps looked utterly stunned.

"Let's get out of here while the getting is good." growled Sheriff Griswold. As we left by a side door, enabling us to avoid the rabid Press, I saw Gwen Munson watching us, more specifically me, with a look of pure hatred in her eyes...

Part 10 - The Ideology Comes First

"This is Bettina Wurtzburg, KXTC Channel Two News!" shouted the redheaded MILF reporterette at 7:00am, Tuesday, July 21st, from the roof of the building at Riverside and College, with City Hall in the background. "Kelly Carnes apologizes for words spoken in anger!"

Bettina began: "Surrounded by black civic leaders, Ms. Carnes made a heartfelt apology for her words calling ADA Paulina Patterson's daughter a racial epithet. Roll tape."

Tape rolled, showing Kelly Carnes at a podium on the portico of City Hall. To her left was Reginald B.F. Lewis. To her right was Eldrick X. Weaver. Also there were Edgar Silas, Bruce Finneran, Dr. Lionel Carmela, Stacy Jacobs, and others.

Carnes said "I would like to apologize to Paulina Patterson for my words about her daughter, spoken in anger. Those words are not reflective of my true values and the values of the Democrat Party, and I am deeply sorry for using ADA Patterson's daughter as an object of my misguided anger."

Carnes: "However, I do NOT apologize to Donald Troy! Donald Troy is a rapist who had to be pardoned by the Governor to avoid prosecution for his crimes! Donald Troy is a racist for supporting the deeply offensive policies of White Nationalist Governor Val Jared and Lieutenant Governor Sharon Marshall. Donald Troy carries a red crowbar around, an instrument of white cop suppression of People of Color, and Troy uses that crowbar to beat down blacks with the power of a white cop's badge. I'll never apologize for what I've said to or about that racist, rapist scumbag Donald Troy!"

The others around Carnes applauded and cheered, and cheers could be heard from the unseen audience... and I couldn't tell if the cheers were real or dubbed in by KXTC.

Bettina came back live a second later and said "And black leaders are urging citizens to forgive Kelly Carnes for her mistake. Roll tape."

Tape continued. "We must forgive Ms. Carnes for words spoken in anger. Ms. Carnes has always had the interest of People of Color in her heart." said Reginald B.F. Lewis.

Bruce Finneran (who was white as well as a NAMbLA member that believes sex between grown men and underaged boys should be legalized) said "We must understand that Kelly Carnes was enraged by the very presence of the white nationalist Donald Troy, and her words were spoken in anger. If there is anyone to blame for this, it's the racist Donald Troy!"

And Eldrick X. Weaver said "Kelly Carnes's good heart is shown by her adherence to Democrat principles. The true racist on the Council is illegitimate Mayor Daniel Allgood!"

Back to Bettina live. "Neither Paulina Patterson nor Commander Donald Troy, who produced that biracial child out of wedlock, returned repeated calls by KXTC for comment. Meanwhile, the Council will vote tonight on several measures, including the Public Safety Department package for promotions and medals, and retaining Ms. Carnes on the Council."

Then Bettina tried to brighten up as she said "And in other news, a Federal Judge has ordered a Board of Inquest for Commander Donald Troy! Federal Judge Ruth B. Taney of Midtown heard arguments by the Police Union in their lawsuit against the TCPD and Commander Troy. Judge Taney remanded it back to the local jurisdiction, but did order that a Board of Inquest be convened to determine the truth of what happened between Commander Troy and Sergeant McCombs."

Bettina: "And tune in this weekend to The Burt West Podcast, a new podcast by our former colleague Burt West, which will cover important topics concerning our Town & County..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Er, noooooo." I mused as my Angels Three, Paulina and the Sheriff watched with me in my office. "She ordered the McElwane grievance be referred to the Board of Inquest. The McCombs grievance was shot down by Judge Taney with prejudice, pun not intended."

"What's Judge Taney like?" Cindy asked. "Someone told me she looks like me."

"Welllll, not to me, she doesn't." I said. "But she does look a lot like your cousin Elizabeth. And like my dear sister, Taney is very intelligent but also has a degree of low cunning in her head."

"So is that a win or loss for the Union?" asked Tanya.

"A mixed bag." I said. "They still get a Board of Inquest, but a lot of what they truly wanted was crushed."

"I'd say it was a win for the Union." said Teresa. "Kalsu is saying that more of the rank-and-file want to wait until the Inquest Board makes a ruling before doing anything vis-a-vis decertification. If you win, Commander, they'll probably call off going through it."

"I can't win for losing." I mused.

"Speaking of that." said Tanya, "what about Kelly Carnes's (air quotes) 'apology'?"

"I didn't return KXTC's calls," said Paulina, "but I did put out a statement saying that her insincere apology was not acceptable unless she apologized to the child's father, as well. KXTC chose not to mention that. They are totally despicable."

"I don't get why all those black politicians were surrounding her, and being on her side." said Teresa.

"Because she is a Democrat, and they are Democrats." I replied. "And with Democrats, the Ideology always comes first. Bill Clinton violently raped women, yet Patricia Ireland, head of the National Organization for Women, the NOW gang, refused to condemn him in any way. And the Media was totally complicit: Tom Brokaw issued an order that the name of Clinton's rape victim, Juanita Brodderick, was never to pass anyone's lips nor be said on air."

I said "Democrats can commit crimes up to and including murder, but they'll be supported because they are the Leftwing Looneyverse! The ideology comes first with them."

Cindy was getting out of her chair and leaving. "I've got work to do." she said. No one else said a word as she left and went to her office.

"Is she a Democrat?" Paulina asked.

Teresa said "She's not a Democrat, like Don's not a Republican. She's outwardly a political atheist, but inside she's left-of-center, like Don's right-of-center."

"You're such a Centrist, Don." Tanya said with a wicked grin and a twinkle in her eyes. As a red crowbar was waved in her general direction, I noticed that the Sheriff's eyes were not twinkling and his mustaches were not quivering...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"We're still going to try to get Carnes off the Council tonight, that joke of an apology notwithstanding." said J.P. Goldman as he, Edward Steele, Selena Steele, and I had lunch at the Cattleman's Club.

"What's the chance of you succeeding?" I asked.

"Under the new Charter, probably not much." said Edward. "But we're still going to try."

"What's the criteria?" Selena asked.

I said "Normally a 2/3 vote of both the Council and the Assembly. But if a Council Member does something 'egregiously embarrassing that causes shame or disrepute to the Council', like getting caught taking bribes, or the money laundering charges we tried to bust Carnes on before, then a simple majority of the Council can refer it to a Board of Inquest, and if the Inquest Jury finds by a 5-1 or 6-0 vote that it was egregious enough, they can greenlight the Council expelling the Member by a simple majority."

I continued: "The goal was to have a way of getting rid of dirty Council or Assembly Members, like Thomas P. Cook, but not to make it so easy that one political Party could just purge the other Party's members on a whim."

"And Carnes's racism and hate speech should be enough." said J.P. Goldman.

Edward Steele said "Don, you know as much about the new Charter as Sheriff Griswold did about the old, and the old way of doing things."

Selena said "Orange is the new Black, and Don is the new Sheriff Griswold." Everyone chuckled.

I said "It's always an honor to be mentioned positively in the same breath with Sheriff Griswold. We are truly blessed to have him as our Sheriff, and his leadership guiding us. And for me personally, he's like a grandfather to my kids, especially since my real father has died."

"Marie thinks the same way about him." said Edward Steele...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

7:15pm, Tuesday, July 21st. As Teresa and I stood at floor-level in the public Council Chamber, Edward Steele came up to us from the area where the Council Members sat.

"We had our Committee of the Whole meeting this afternoon." said Edward. "The Democrats dug in, so with the Mayor not being able to break ties in Committee meetings, nothing was passed to be moved forward."

"Does that mean no MOVs?" Teresa asked, shocked.

"Oh, we'll ram it through in the Executive Session tonight." said Edward. "I just wanted to let you two know that it got ugly. They refused to pass anything in the Committee of the Whole meeting unless we agreed to an amendment to not refer Carnes to a Board of Inquest. J.P. (Goldman) just about had a heart attack over that, and furiously swore that he would never make any such promise. So the Dems dug in."

I nodded. "Okay, then. Thanks for letting us know. Have fun tonight... and don't drink the water." Edward chuckled, then left to get ready for the public meeting. Teresa and I perused the audience.

"Almost full," Teresa noted, "but not all black. A good number of whites, middle-class. The kind that normally don't show up for Council meetings."

I said "Yes, you're right. I get the feeling they're here over Kelly Carnes."

The Council Members filed in at 7:30pm, and the Mayor gaveled the meeting into session. After the dispensation of the routine business, the Mayor said "We'll discuss the old business of the Public Safety package in the Executive Session after the public meeting. Any more old business?" There was none. "New business? Mr. Goldman is recognized."

"Mister Mayor," said Goldman, rising to his feet, "I move that Kelly Carnes be expelled from this Town & County Council for racist hate speech and false accusations."

"I second!" yelled Dagmar Schoen. Many of those in the audience stood and applauded, prompting Mayor Allgood to tap his gavel until he had order, which meant a quiet auditorium.

"Point of order." said Reginald B.F. Lewis. "Councilwoman Carnes has made no false accusations."

"Calling Commander Troy a rapist and White Nationalist without proof are false accusations!" yelled Goldman.

"The point of order is denied." said Mayor Allgood.

"Point of order." said Sheila Sorrells. "Ms. Carnes apologized for her remarks; therefore, attempting to hold them against her is not only a violation of her Free Speech rights, but no longer meets the criteria for removal."

"I'm denying the point of order on the way it was stated." said Mayor Allgood. "However, I am going to make my own Point of Order now. A vote to remove Ms. Carnes will require a 2/3 majority of both the Council and the Assembly. However, a vote to refer Ms. Carnes's hate speech to a Board of Inquest and receiving back an Inquest Jury finding against her by a vote of 5-1 or 6-0 will allow a simple majority, with the Mayor breaking any ties, to remove Mrs. Carnes. The Inquest Jury can make the decision on whether the apology is strong enough to overcome the embarrassment Mrs. Carnes has caused this Council."

"I move to amend," said John Colby, "that we refer this to a Board of Inquest, with the purpose of gaining a Jury verdict that will allow a simple majority to remove Carnes from the Council." About half the audience applauded strongly.

"I second." said Edward Steele.

"Any discussion?" asked Daniel Allgood.

Reginald B.F. Lewis said "For the racist, illegitimate Mayor to be calling for my colleague Mrs. Carnes to be removed for her correct speech and accurate, truthful comments about Donald Troy is pure hypocrisy."

Kelly Carnes herself spoke: "I'll be suing in Court over any attempt to remove me from this Council when I exercised my First Amendment rights, as well as told the truth about the rapist Donald Troy------" Five objections came forth.

"It's true and I stand by it!" Kelly Carnes yelled. "Donald Troy raped a woman, and was pardoned by the corrupt, White Nationalist Governor to cover it up! Sue me over it, Troy!" A number of people in the audience applauded loudly, most of them looking at me. They did not realize that a lawsuit was not what I had in mind for Kelly Carnes.

"The points of order are sustained." said Daniel Allgood calmly. "The accusation without proof is not acceptable, and will be added to what is sent to the Board of Inquest upon referral to it of this matter. Any further comments?" There were none.

The vote was 5-5. The Mayor said "The Council being evenly divided, I, the legitimately elected Mayor of this Town votes in the Affirmative, the motion carries, and Kelly Carnes is to be referred to a Board of Inquest to determine if her racist hate speech justifies her removal from this Council."