The Wilderness

Davey again silently watched me enter. Being slightly more awake, I realized the events of a while ago had fundamentally changed our relationship and would need to be addressed.

But not now! I was desperate to return to Bo's comforting embrace, savoring the last few hours of the heavenly glow I was feeling. Pulling Bo's arm back around me as I nuzzled his sleeping form, I closed my eyes to Davey's vacant stare directed at me.

Hours later I opened my eyes to see the faint orange glow of dawn was just breaking over the horizon through the now-open tent door flap, the atmosphere of our tent once again fresh and clear. Realizing what had awoken me, I noticed I was breathing rapidly, my body tingling again.

Looking down, Davey lay beside me, his head level with my chest, his fingers gently caressing the roundness of my breasts, causing small ripples of pleasure to course through me. I lay calmly, refusing to think about the many questions that were trying to push their way into my consciousness, instead savoring the pleasurable distraction before me. My breath catching with each flick on my now erect nipples, he looked up to see me awake, a dreamy lethargic look upon my face.

Obviously unsure at how I might react to his bold liberties, he recoiled in fear.

While I held my questions and self-reckoning at bay a little while longer, I reached out for his hand.

"Shhhhhhhhh!! Its ok."

I smiled at him before pulling his hand back to my breast. Embracing this clear signal, he scooched closer to me and began to fondle the heft of both my breasts, tracing his fingers around my crinkled areolas and tugging on my engorged nipples. Feeling the energy radiating from my nipples down through my extremities, I closed my eyes again in bliss, the tension building in me. My body heat rising, I urgently reached out blindly and pulled his head onto my breast, he latching onto my nipple, sucking and gently biting, a tingly blanket of pleasure enveloping my body.

Without thinking, my hand reached down to his waist, wrapping about his hard penis. Realizing this was the first time in over fifteen years that I had held another man's bare penis, my fingers eagerly explored every ridge, vein and undulation of him. So soft, yet hard at the same time.

I felt Davey's breathing stutter as I began to explore the full length of him, swirling the slick drops of his excitement over his bulbous head. Reaching down further, I burrowed my hand under his heavy testicles, the hot and sweaty warmth in my hand exciting me.

Overwhelmed by my touch and languorous stroking of his shaft, Davey unlatched from my breast, his strained breathing through his nostrils become deafening.

My mind swirled in confusion as I questioned my rising desire, this time for yet another man. Initially, I thought it was guilt from my surrender to Bo the night before, but increasingly I realized that it was my unshackled soul in the guiltless pursuit of my own pleasure. This man was giving me pleasure. I didn't have any hesitation or reservations at that moment.

Surprising him, he lay confused as I released him and rolled over onto my other side, my back to him. Aware that he probably thought I had called our intimacy to an end, I overtly shoved my buttocks and tilted my hips back into him. My now fully aroused sex pushed against his waist, I turned my head to look at him, my silent invitation clear.

Hesitantly, I felt his fingers begun to probe my deepest recesses. After verifying my readiness and confirming my consent, I felt him shuffle up against me, dragging his erection through my wet folds, his manhood quickly coming to rest at my entrance. Still highly lubricated and stretched from the night before, he pushed into me with one strong thrust, a groan of satisfaction escaping my lips. Both of us relishing the exquisite feeling for a moment, he began a slow thrusting in and out of me, my body aching in emptiness at each withdrawal before he filled me again on each return. Reaching around for his hand again, I pulled him closer into my body, clasping his fingers onto my nipple, forcing him to manipulate me firmly.

Considering his elevated state of sexual arousal for hours, I was surprised at the control and restraint he showed, continuing slow and deep thrusts. As my passions rose, my body was aching for faster and more forceful penetration. Reaching back, I felt his clenching buttocks with each thrust. Pulling him into me with force, I made clear my wishes. Harder! Faster! He complied as he abandoned his self-control and began to lose himself in our coupling.

Noticing our proximity to the still sleeping Bo just inches from my head, I suddenly pushed Davey away from me, his surprised confusion and frustration clear. Looking at him with a lusty smile to reassure him, I crawled on all fours toward the door. Safely away from Bo, I arched my hips again toward Davey, feeling my enflamed vulva gape open, awaiting him. I wanted fucked hard, but with a nice view.

In almost a panic, Davey shuffled over to me, immediately thrusting himself back into me. Again, pausing to savor the feeling, he then grabbed my hips and resumed a forceful pounding of my body. Sensing his rapidly approaching climax, I reached down to strum my clitoris in an effort to catch-up to his approaching release.

My breasts swinging violently with each battering of my body, he reached around to grab them roughly, pinching both nipples as he lay down onto my back, his arching hips continuing its rapid deep plunging. I felt overwhelmed and in heaven.

I know should have felt ashamed. After 12 years of exclusive devotion to my husband, within one night I'd had two different lovers.

As I crouched, submissive to Davey's sexual aggression, I became curious at what this erotic scene must look like, a little ashamed that this time I was using a different man to satisfy my urges for pleasure. This was not 'Love Making' worthy of the flowery prose of poets. This was animalistic Sex; Raw. Uncontrolled. Selfish. All genteel language escaped me, trying to describe how I was feeling.

As if to validate my meandering thoughts, Davey whispered forced exclamations.

"Oh Fuck! Oh Baby. I've never had pussy like this! God, you feel amazing! I'm going to lose it any second now!"

While I'd never used or heard such vulgar language in person before, this "dirty talk" seemed appropriate in our carnal moment. The shocking words that swirled in my own head only seemed to heighten my eroticism.

I was getting fucked! Hard! My pussy was being pounded by his hard cock, his balls loudly slapping off my thighs. He was mauling my tits and I could tell from his grunting that his cum would be flooding my cunt at any moment.

Maybe mother had been right. I felt like a Sex Machine! I loved it!

Faster and faster Davey slammed into me, with such brutality that I began to fear for internal and external injury, all the while my own rising tide was about to boil over. Whimpering as if in agony, Davey painfully grasped my hips and with one final thrust, impaled himself in me and froze. A feeling of womanly satisfaction washed over me as I could feel him swell and pulse inside of me, my submission as his receptacle caused my orgasm to erupt, my frantic assault on my clit elevating me to an imminent crescendo.

And then it hit me like a bomb blast. I don't know what I did. If I said anything or made any noise? My orgasm was a complete out of body experience and all I felt was a wave of pleasure drowning me for many long moments until I eventually rode the feeling back down to consciousness.

Eventually coming down from our mutual climax, we kneeled, still connected together, my chest resting on the floor, my ass even now perched high up in the air. Eventually, he lifted himself off my back and pulled out, a large glob of his seed rolling down the front of my vulva onto my lower stomach before dripping on the floor below us.

More than anything, this physical sign of our intercourse simplified my awareness that this had been raw, craven sex. Two people using each other to satisfy our biological needs. Moreover, feeling another globule of his semen leaking out my womb, I realized with sudden clarity that I had just been bred. Again.

Sitting side-by-side now, we both looked guiltily over at Bo, apparently still asleep. Reaching for the t-shirt offered to me the night before, I slowly wiped the cum off my stomach and reached down into my crotch to clean up a bit.

This clear acknowledgement of what we'd just done brought us both back to reality. I could feel Davey restlessly struggle, obviously wanting to speak.

"Taylor. I don't know what to say. I swear that was the most indescribable experience in my life. But I feel sick now. I feel that I've betrayed you as a friend.", his voice cracking in emotion.

I could tell that he was deeply moved, and my stoic silence was probably sending the wrong message about how I was feeling. He continued,

"I've got to tell you that I've NEVER felt such ...... compelling force, such yearning, such uncontrollable urges", he said with amazement in his voice. "I'm not a virgin. I've been with other girls. But those were just for fun in the moment."

"But, since meeting you, I've been absolutely consumed by you. By your presence. By your soul. You've invaded my thoughts every waking moment. I'm unable to think about anything else. And it's not just your body. It is everything about you. Your spirit. Your personality. I have TRIED SO HARD to keep myself under control. Out of respect for you, because I care about how you feel about yourself and about me. But I just couldn't. I don't know what happened to me."

"I know I should have respected what happened between you and Bo. And I tried. I'm guessing you may have some mixed feelings about all this, but I hope that you will believe me when I explain that my uncontrollable hunger for you wasn't me just wanting 'my turn', but my unquenchable need to be a part of you."

Hesitant, he paused to gauge my reaction. Would it be fury and resentment, or humiliating laughter at his clumsy admission of his confused emotions.

"Does any of that make sense?" he timidly asked.

Still blank faced, staring off into the distance, I fully understood what he meant, because I was feeling the same emotions. I realized I'd been wrong. This wasn't just a wild fuck. He and I had a bond that was physical..... and, I finally admitted to myself...... emotional.

Turning to him, I leaned in to kiss him tenderly. Taking his hand, I rose and pulled him up, stooping to exit the tent. Without saying a word, I pulled him along the path that led to the waterfall we could hear in the distance.

Still in a state of shock and confusion, my mind recoiled to easier questions.

For some reason, as we walked, I fixated on the symbolism of us, Man and Woman, naked, hand in hand, walking through a proverbial Garden of Eden. Strolling along the wooded path, he took the lead, his strong, muscular body taking confident manly strides, my smaller body following in safety and devotion, his seed deep within me, like a modern-day Adam and Eve. Feeling his semen leaking out of me and down my thigh as we walked, I felt a strong sense of destiny and "rightness" in the moment, as if some preordained purpose had been written in our union.

Eventually coming to a clearing, the pool of water shimmered as the perpetual cascade of water disturbed the upriver corner of the little lake, mist floating by us, the overwhelming sound of colliding water muting any need for conversation.

We walked along the shoreline toward the falls, stepping at the edge into a slower curtain of water, striking our heads and bodies with surprising force. Face to face we stood in this natural shower, cleansing ourselves of the physical remnants of our....... love making?

Seeking a return to the purity of our moment together, we stepped out of the flow and into the adjacent light mist and sprinkle of the falls, his hands tenderly wiping down my body. While he caressed all my curves and erogenous zones, this time it wasn't sexual. It was tender, respectful, and loving. I did the same to him, savoring my hand running over the firm lines of his body in a sort of worship. Even clutching his now flaccid penis, I held it in appreciation and awe.

Eventually we stepped out of the water on to the beach and walked to the calmer and quieter end of the pool. Again, turning to him, I looked silently into his face, as water drops clung to his eyelashes, dripping from his hair, ear lobes and lips.

The deep but loving kiss that followed was my declaration to him that I cared for him and that everything was ok. It was the strongest and clearest message I'd ever felt without using words.

As we walked back to camp, I was apprehensive over how we might move forward. Now I was really confused and worried. I had initially believed this had just been a Fuck. An amazing, mind-blowing Fuck, mind you. But still just sex, nonetheless.

Now, I realized that both these men had stirred different but strong passions in me, more than just physical exaltation. One word kept swirling in my head; Devotion. Devotion to me. Devotion to one another. The devotion of Love?

As we approached the camp, I saw Bo sitting at the door of the tent. Standing I saw the look of trepidation and relief on his face..........and noticed that he was wearing shorts?!

For some reason this infuriated me. Rushing toward him I screamed.

"Take those off !!!!"

Apprehension filled his face, both guys now staring at me like I was a madwoman. Looking between the two of them, my anger flared, and I stormed off alone down the beach leaving Bo and Davey in disbelief.

Given everything that had happened in the last few hours, and days, I'm surprised I hadn't already had a melt-down. But in truth, I felt calm and happy.....despite my nonsensical outburst. But even that, I understood.

After a two-minute sulk, I turned back to the campsite, the explanation forming in my head, and I needed to get it out.

Approaching them with renewed calm and confidence, I observed that Bo had removed his shorts. Both guys now stood like frightened children waiting for me to unleash a storm. Obviously, they assumed the emotional consequences of our sexual tryst was about to come due. Comically, I couldn't help but notice that both guys had "shrunk" to juvenile proportions, their earlier fearsome male weapons of lust nowhere to be seen. Yet again, my mother had been right, I mused.

Holding up my hand in a stop-sign fashion for silence, I walked past them and entered our tent, sitting down in an exposed lotus fashion to signal that I was not suddenly repentant or shy. They followed, sitting a safe distance from me, which made me smirk.

"This time I will speak, and you will listen", said I with authority.

"First of all. I'm OK. In fact, I'm more than OK. I'm........ I don't even know how to describe it! I'm not mad at either of you. You MUST believe that. Nor am I mad at myself. I guess I probably should be and, not unreasonably, I'm guessing that you were both anticipating that I would have some mental breakdown. But I'm not. So, you can stop worrying. You are not going to have some basket-case on your hands out here in the middle of nowhere", offering them a mischievous smile.

I could see they were visibly relieved, the tension in their bodies melting away. I continued, staring off at the lake behind them, deep in thought.

"I don't know if you will be able to fully understand this, but I'll try anyway. Yes, I have NEVER dreamed.....let alone done.....anything like this before. Yes, I've now had sex with both of you. Yes, in normal circumstances, I should be ashamed. I should feel like a slut. A whore. I've betrayed my husband. Society tells me I'm the worst sort of woman."

Looking back at them, a big naughty smile formed on my face as I laughed in relief.

"But I don't!"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you Bo. I'm sure it made no sense. But seeing you putting on clothes was the sign that I feared would prove that something had now changed between us. Not because of the sex, but because of how you thought I might feel about the sex. That somehow it should change your behavior, because of me. Yes, I understand that it was done out of respect for me. But NOTHING needs to change. I'm not some weak woman who can't manage herself or handle the consequences of her decisions. You guys didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do. I'm not some helpless, mindless waif that needs to be emotionally managed. I know you meant it with love, but I don't need a man to make everything better for me."

"Just the opposite. For the FIRST time in my life, I feel fully aware and in charge of my own destiny. Men will never understand this. I know it will sound like angry feminist resentment at society's misogyny. I'm not here to debate that. But what you should be able to understand conceptually is that, for the FIRST TIME, I feel like I've discovered my real self. It only took over 30-plus years!"

"And before you guys misunderstand, this is not about your magic dicks. No matter what men think, a stiff cock does not set a woman free. It's usually just the opposite."

"So, my Awakening, if we can call it that, isn't about you, directly. It's about everything else. Being back in nature, doing what I loved as a younger girl. It's about where I was in my life, where I am today, and where I want to be tomorrow. It's been about being able to make all of my own decisions about my day, my responsibilities, my dreams........and my desires........ without holding them up against some measuring stick for others to judge. It's about MY choices."

"Yes, being with you both was amazing........but as much as I loved it, it was the fact that I was the one deciding what I wanted and how, that has changed me today. As men you're not used to that view of the world. As a woman, we are raised with it. Shedding that has been the most liberating experience of my life. When a 50-pound weight is taken off your shoulders, that you've been carrying around your whole life, it's like you are walking on air."

"So, again, I'm fine. Yes, there is LOTS of stuff going on in my head. Much of it you wouldn't understand, even if I tried to explain. Some of it is private, between me..... and my husband. Maybe one day, I'll feel differently, be it tomorrow or a month from now. But that will be my burden alone, whenever that day comes."

"So, again, I am NOT mad at either of you. This is about me. By me. For me. You are not responsible, nor should you feel the need to "do something". I don't need rescued. I PROMISE I will let you know if I need your help."

"And so, I would like us to carry on as before. Yes, something has obviously happened, but nothing needs to change between us.....at least for my sake. And what I mean by that is NOTHING. Our days together, our work, our friendship. Our world. Just as it was..... before what happened last night. I refuse to act as if nothing happened. It did. It was the loveliest moment between us. It was glorious and I'm glad it happened. But I'm not going to let THAT change the 'Us' of before? I hope you can do the same."

"Ok, I won't go on about this any longer. I'm sure you may have some questions. Or some feelings of you own. But I want to give you a little time to process everything I've said. I'm not a guy, but I can imagine what I've said has probably been a little mind blowing. Can I ask that we give each other a little time to process. Then we can talk again. NOW, I need to pee desperately!", and with that rose, unashamed of my nakedness, and walked out of the tent.

After the bombshell of the last 12 hours, I was pleasantly surprised how quickly the mood returned to normal that morning. Initially a little stiff, they quickly got back to their typical banter as we attended to expedition chores and reorganized the supplies for the women's upcoming 2-4 day solo trips. Every once in a while, I'd see the guys chatting intently amongst themselves. From their relaxed body language, I couldn't tell if they were discussing the latest baseball scores, or my orgasm face? Being guys, probably both interchangeably. But I didn't care. Things felt back to somewhat normal. The only reminder of the extraordinary events of last night was quite a bit of soreness 'down there'.