All Comments on 'The Witches of Ravenrook 03'

Okay I have a strange sense of humor and I was probably laughing in all the right, and Wrong places. Thanks for such wonderful entertainment

DAMSEL an Chimera approved

I am really enjoying this story! I am so very happy when I see a new chapter posted and oh so sad when I finish reading it way too soon.

Please continue this story! I thank you for your efforts and for posting them here.

Does our hero:

Take the twins and start a harem? x 3

Decide they are not worthy and attempt to re-imprison them?

Figure out a way to control them and become their leader?

Graduate from school and take the witches with him to start a new life as equals?

Innocent little Regina needs a power upgrade.

Please type faster.....

and thank you for this story

When is the next installment?

I eagerly await the next chapter!

I hope you are writing the next chapter to this awesome story and that it is going very very well for you! Of course my hopes are purely selfish ones = ) I check almost every day to see if you have a new offering for me to savor. Thank you in advance for your efforts and for posting them here.

I've put 1500 words to page so far and its pretty much scripted out (in other words I know what happens in what order) but I'm bouncing back and forth between this, A Life Not My Own 4, and a story a reader asked me to write (Baleful Awakening) which is almost done. Then its Mother, Deadly, and Brother (3 separate stories).

loved it....waiting for another part...

...Still feeling the dreamscape vibe (lovin' every second of it). Hmm....Just thought of something, the MC has not killed anyone yet. He has this 'Dark, Brooding, Warrior-King' vibe beginning to work for him, and he is seducing Undead bitches left and right, it feels like he should have by now. Hoping for more.

hoping you will be getting back to this awesome story soon.

I've written 3400 words on the latest installment but a severe depression has been kicking my ass. If you drop me a line I can tell you were the story is heading because while I still have 2/3 of the way through the chapter, I never know when my depression will break and I'll become more creative and productive.

"a severe depression has been kicking my ass"

That is sad to hear. I do hope you get feeling better. You write very good stories when you feel creative. Take care and I look forward to your return = )

Another great read!!!

...in prior chapters where you used the incorrect past tense of the verb 'pass'. If you do a search on 'passed', you will find them. The correct past tense of pass is 'past'. A good way to remember this is you wouldn't call it a 'passed tense mistake', would you? It is a 'past tense mistake'.

Further, 'passed' denotes movement, something moved by something, in the present. ie: "It passed by." "Past", in the places where you mistakenly used 'passed', is a situation where 'past' does not denote movement, but passage of time, specifically referring to something which happened previously. ie: "It passed by, in the past."

Hopefully, me beating this horse to death has helped you remember it.

Good story, a bit hard to follow at times, but a good story, none the less. I think it is hard to follow because you left out character development &/or vehicles for explaining details.

As things began to happen with, and to the protagonist, after he came back to campus, way too much was confusing, and unexplained. I think you were going for a the protagonist has no clue what is going on with him vibe. The confusion arises when the character doesn't have adequate internal dialogue to establish his confusion. As is, it seems like he know what's going on, in contradiction to you setting up the whole 'protagonist doesn't have a clue.

If it was foreshadowing of his ancestors helping him, you failed to firmly establish his bewilderment about knowing things he shouldn't know about.

That bewilderment would be normal human reaction, something which is important to keep in mind with characters. If they don't act and react as normal humans do, the reader has a difficult time relating to them, and seeing themselves as the characters, which is what entertainment fiction is all about.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for sharing your imagination, and for all the work it takes to put together a Lit submission.

GeoD