All Comments on 'The Witch's Dollhouse Pt. 01'

I was expecting this to to end up being a one shot story, with the hope of being a longer story, but the ending leaves it open to so many possibilities. I find myself looking forward to future installments, wish is rare for me. it was a wonderful setup, and end for a first chapter.

Great stuff.

He calls them dolls but they are life size, life like, without visible joints and except for not moving, identical to human women.

How the fuck would he not suspect them to be human?

Good story but the opening bothered me.

Most children get a car or house for their 18th birthday... Where? Lol... It was a great story but that absurd opening stuck with me throughout.

I don't know anyone who got a car or a house for their 18th.

Awesome story. It’s great to see something a little different on here. Can’t wait for Part 2.

Did you read it between the time that you wrote it and the time that you posted it?

Gonna be on the watch for part 2 of this.

I cannot wait for part 2. A great story, well written, nice build up and well done detail. Thank you!

Concise writing is a pain. The benefit is, what the writer meant is instantly clear and easily understood.

Sloppy writing is quick and easy. The problem is, what the writer meant can be hard to figure out. Sometimes a single sentence has to be read two or three times to understand what the point is.

Your story is interesting. Your writing is sloppy. An editor could help you if you don't care enough about the readers to do it yourself.

Here’s an early paragraph from your story, edited for readability:

"At first he only half listened to her story. She told him the man who once lived in the estate manor Philip now owned was a dashing bachelor who drew the attention of many young ladies. Among them was a lonely young witch who, spurned by rejection after rejection, grew increasingly aggressive and possessive of the young man. She even went so far as to declare herself his official bride, without his say-so."

You have an interesting story going. Your sloppy writing makes it a pain to read. PLEASE work with an editor to clean up the writing. I bet your 4.57 could become a 4.75 or 4.8 if it was easier to read.

p.s. Here’s your first tip: the word ‘it’s’ means ‘it is.’ Always. In both American English and British English. No exceptions, except rarely-used contractions such as ‘it was.’ When something belongs to an ‘it’ rather than a ‘he’ or a ‘she,’ the word to use is ‘its.’ Always. No exceptions. Your sentence, “even it's genitalia was painstakingly made into a perfect replica” actually reads as, “even it is genitalia was painstakingly made into a perfect replica.” I doubt that’s what you meant.

I love this story please keep it going

Please continue to the basement where all the dolls gangbang him and make him drown in squirt

quality girl gangbang - loved the attention to detail, especially the part where they went for ball/prostate massage to keep him going. That's expertise in man-raping. Thumbs up, please keep going.

This reminds me of the Hentai game Castle of Temptation. This one part, dolls (that were unanimated before) are now out to milk you of all your cum and that was so hot. So thankfully I found this! And there's like 5 parrts. Thank you for writing this.

This is one of the best stories on here. Please make new stuff like this

nice story!

那怕是用google翻譯，也能流暢的看完文章!會讓我想到ぶるーすきんの森 and Castle of temptation，這兩款遊戲。