The World Made Yonder Pt. 03

'Are you going to pretend there's nothing going on between you and him?' said Kayla.

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'So I just imagined what I saw in the kitchen this morning?'

Lorna felt her insides turn to ice. She suddenly found it hard to breathe.

'Don't worry, I'm not going to say anything,' said Kayla. 'It's none of my business. But the next time something like this crops up, I would appreciate a little more support. Do you know what I mean?'

Without waiting for an answer, Kayla got up and walked away, heading for the kitchen to make herself a drink.

* * * * *

The moment Joey unlocked the front door and stepped into the house, he heard a cry of 'Daddy!' and Stephen ran out of the living room. The boy leapt onto him, clinging with arms and legs around the man. His hair was damp with sweat and he was muttering, 'You're my daddy, you're my daddy' like a mantra. Joey pushed the front door closed and—still wearing his red windbreaker with a computer bag over his shoulder—he carried the boy into the living room.

Celia stood up from the giant couch, her hands clasped together, her face streaked with tears. She looked wretched. Joey went up to her and nodded towards the strap on his shoulder. Celia held his computer bag and carefully took hold of the strap. Stephen would have to let go of Joey's arm for a moment before she could slide it off.

'Stephen, darling,' she said. 'Could you just let go with this hand?'

'No!'

'Just for a moment.'

'No!'

'Darling, please.'

'No! He's my daddy. He's my daddy.'

Celia started to cry. Her head hung, her face was scrunched, and she uselessly held the bag in her hands and wept. Joey had tears running as well, but he was not sobbing. He held the boy close and put his mouth to the boy's ear.

'Stephen,' he said. 'Let go with that hand so your mother can take my bag off.'

The boy was shivering, but he obeyed. Celia's sobs grew louder as she slid the strap off and nearly dropped the bag. The moment the strap was off, the boy's hand clamped back on. Joey took him to the couch and gingerly sat down, positioning Stephen on his lap. When they were settled, he put his hand on the back of the boy's head.

'It's okay, Stephen,' he said. 'I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere.'

He felt Stephen's entire body relax at those words. My God, thought Joey, this boy trusts me. And that thought moved him so deeply, it got him sobbing. That set Stephen off and now everyone was weeping—man, woman and child. Celia knelt on the floor hugging Joey's computer bag; Joey was on the couch hugging Stephen.

Time ticked by to sobs and wails and coughing. That room was full of the sounds of grief for quite some time. But even sorrow has its limits. The wailing turned to sniffling. There were sighs of exhaustion and relief. Eventually, Stephen loosened his hold on Joey enough for the man to take off his red coat and toss it onto the couch next to him. Celia slowly got to her feet and reached for it.

'What are you doing?' said Joey.

'Hanging it up.'

'Chuck it on the floor and sit down.'

'It won't take a second.'

'Celia, sit down and tell me what happened. Hang the coat up later.'

Celia looked at her husband. Then she looked at the little boy in his lap. Stephen was watching her, quiet but alert, like a bird sitting safe in a tree and watching a cat on the ground. It was not a nice feeling. Celia picked up the coat and sat down, holding it in her lap.

She began telling Joey what had happened that morning. Joey held Stephen and listened, his expression neutral, his breathing calm. When she got to the part when she told Stephen that Daddy wasn't his daddy, Joey shifted the boy on his lap, curious to hear how she had handled the explanation.

Celia had used the animated film Hercules as a metaphor. In the movie, Baby Hercules was the son of Hera and Zeus, but he was stolen away by the minions of evil god Hades and brought up by human parents, a farmer and his wife. Celia had told Stephen that she was like the Hera character, but that Joey was the farmer, not Zeus. Stephen had no clue why his daddy was not Zeus, but Joey's disappearance that morning convinced him that his mother was telling the truth. More than that, that his daddy was gone and might never come back. That was when he began to freak out.

Celia finished talking. Joey sat silent, digesting the information and idling combing his fingers through Stephen's hair. The boy's head was no longer hot and he seemed to have calmed down.

'Daddy?'

'Yes?'

'Are you still my daddy?'

Stephen was looking at his feet, but Joey felt Celia's gaze turn towards him. He wondered whether to allude to the paternity test and decided against it.

'It depends,' said Joey.

'On what?'

'First, are we clear that there is a difference between an adoptive father and a "real" father?'

'I don't like that there's a difference.'

'I know. But do you understand that there is?'

Stephen sat motionless on Joey's lap and Joey had the feeling that Stephen was considering saying no. Eventually, he nodded, and then immediately pressed himself against the man's body, his little hands grabbing hold of his clothing. Joey and Celia exchanged a sad look. Joey continued.

'Stephen, whether I go on being your daddy or not depends on whether your mother and I stay married.'

'But if she says sorry—'

'Stephen, look at her. Look at your mother.'

Joey turned himself sideways so that the boy had a clear sight of her. Celia sat looking back, her hair hanging limp, her hands clutching Joey's red coat to her like a protector. Joey cleared his throat and spoke.

'Stephen, it is very clear to me that your mother is sorry. She is very, very sorry about the pain she has caused you and the position she's put you in. I don't think I've ever seen a woman looking more sorry than she is looking right now.'

Tears fell from Celia's eyes and she wiped them away. She tried to smile and nodded at Stephen to show that she was behind every word Joey was saying. Stephen sat still and watched, his hands still holding fast to Joey's clothes.

'But Stephen,' went on Joey. 'The fact that your mother is sorry is not the only thing that needs to be talked about. There are lots of things.'

'What things?'

'That's between me and your mother. But whether she and I stay married depends on how those talks go. Celia, is that fair to say?'

'I ... I suppose so.'

'Is there anything you want to add?'

Celia looked at her son. It pained her heart to see the wariness in his eyes, those little fists holding tight to Joey as though she would try to pull him away. This was so unfair. She was Stephen's mother—he was supposed to trust her.

'I just want to say,' she said, 'that I am sorry. Very, very sorry. And not just to you, Stephen. I'm sorry to you, Joey—so incredibly sorry for what I did and how I hurt you and what it has done to us. And I promise you—both of you—that I will do everything in my power to make this marriage work, to make sure this family stays together. Stephen, I will do anything to make sure you never lose your daddy. I swear on my life!'

She stared at her son, her eyes fierce with intent. Joey felt Stephen's hands let go his clothing and the boy sat up. Celia threw aside Joey's coat and held out her arms. Stephen scrambled off Joey's lap and leapt into her embrace.

Joey watched, teeth clenched, fighting to keep his temper. 'Oh, Celia, you bitch!' he thought. 'You absolute cunt!' Now if there was a divorce, it wouldn't be because she had cheated—it would be because Joey hadn't been able to forgive her. He suddenly pictured Celia telling the teenage Stephen: 'He loved you, darling, but not enough to get past you not being his biological son. His pride was more important to him than you.'

Joey looked at Celia. She looked back at him, the boy in her arms, and gave him a smile.

* * * * *

Lunchtime at J&J Animation was between twelve and one o'clock and took place in the conference room next to the kitchen. The white oblong table could seat twelve comfortably and eighteen uncomfortably, so lunch was often a lively affair. When directors Joey and Jeremy were in the office, they made a point of attending, so everybody else did too. It was a chance to relax over cold meat sandwiches and maybe ask the boss something 'off the record'.

But Jeremy had taken a small team to a project meeting with a client and Joey had to leave on a personal matter, so today's lunch was a haphazard affair. Six people sat together with packs of sliced bread and hams, cheeses, salads and spreads, but most of the staff came in, made a sandwich or two, then took them back to their desks.

Lorna was one of them. She was keen to avoid Kayla or even risk talking to her, so she sat at her window seat and read emails while eating diet yoghurt. She couldn't see Kayla's work station from where she sat and thankfully the other woman made no effort to find her. Before long, Lorna was immersed in her work.

At ten-to-one, Joey returned. Lorna saw him over the forest of monitors and workspace partitions, heading towards his office, then changing his mind and going towards the conference room. Lorna grabbed her tablet and hurried to catch up with him.

Joey was alone in the conference room when she arrived. The white table was still damp from being wiped clean and the giant black flatscreen—used for presentations—loomed on the far wall like the mouth of a cave. Joey looked at her and glanced at his phone.

'It's not yet one,' he said. 'Didn't anyone have lunch?'

'We did,' said Lorna. 'And then we went back to work.'

'I thought the mice were supposed to play when the cat's away?'

'Not when the mice have deadlines.'

Lorna closed the door.

'Listen, I know you've got a lot on your mind,' she said, 'but we might have a problem with Kayla.'

'What problem?'

'She saw us in the kitchen this morning.'

Joey put his hands on his hips and looked up at the ceiling. He let out a groan and shook his head. Lorna stood by the door, her tablet at her breast. Joey turned to look at her.

'What did she say exactly?'

'She said she would keep it to herself,' said Lorna. 'And then she said she would like my support in any future disagreements with you.'

'That sounds a bit like blackmail.'

'I think "blackmail" is too strong a word. But I didn't like it.'

'I can imagine.'

Joey looked at her, his expression grave. Lorna looked down at the floor.

'Lorna, are you serious about what you said this morning?'

'Absolutely,' said Lorna, looking him in the eye. 'One hundred percent serious.'

'Okay.' Joey frowned. 'Listen, I think I should—'

'Joey, if you're about to say that you're not in love with me, please don't. I already know.'

'And you're okay with that?'

'I am at present, yes. And if there comes a time when I'm not okay with it, I will tell you and we'll deal with it then.'

Lorna's words were rational, but her voice shook and Joey could see an intensity in her eyes. What he could not see was that she was bursting to say that she loved him and was forcing herself not to by sheer willpower. Joey went up to her and drew her into a hug. Lorna sank against his chest with a guttural sigh.

'Oh, God...' she murmured.

'Are you free this weekend?'

'Yes.'

'Then let's spend it together.'

'What about your wife?'

'My wife can go to hell,' said Joey. 'I don't care what she does or what she thinks.'

Lorna broke away and looked up at him.

'What happened?' she said.

'I'll tell you later,' said Joey. 'Preferably at your place.'

And he leaned down and kissed her.

* * * * *

Kayla frowned as she stared at the monitor screen, her digital pen sweeping the pad as she erased the last figure she'd drawn. Something wasn't working and she couldn't figure out what. She was so absorbed in the issue that the male voice made her jump.

'Kayla,' said Joey. 'Can I interrupt you?'

Kayla watched her boss pull over a chair from a neighbouring workspace and sit himself down, facing away from the monitor. He leaned back and crossed his legs, looking as relaxed as though he owned the place—which, Kayla reminded herself, he kind of did. Across the partitions, she saw Lorna going back to her desk and suddenly guessed that the two had been talking. Kayla's heart began to thump and she subtly backed away from Joey, crossing her legs and folding her arms, ready for a fight.

'Kayla...' said Joey. 'I owe you an apology.'

Okay, that threw her. Kayla's brain scrambled, looking for the reason why her boss would apologise to her. It hit on something.

'Look, I understand,' said Kayla. 'You had an emergency and didn't have time to look at my drawings.'

'I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about what you saw this morning in the kitchen.'

Kayla blushed, her insides twisting. Because her face was light brown, it didn't go pink—more a shade of maroon. Joey watched her expression, enjoying himself, wondering how her purple lipstick could look both attractive and unattractive at the same time.

'It's ... none of my business,' she stammered.

'I agree,' said Joey. 'But as company director, I have a responsibility to set an example to my staff and what happened in the kitchen is not the kind of example I want to set.'

Kayla smiled uncomfortably. What could she say? Now that he brought it up, she agreed.

'In addition,' went on Joey, 'I've put you in a difficult position and jeopardised the professional relationship you have with Lorna.'

Joey gave her a look. Kayla found it difficult to maintain eye contact. She wrung her hands and uncrossed and recrossed her legs.

'I don't know what to say,' she said.

'You don't have to say anything.'

Joey leaned closer and lowered his voice.

'I want to make something clear,' he said. 'I am not apologising for conducting a personal relationship with Lorna. My marriage is on its way out and I like Lorna very much.'

'I'm sorry to hear about your marriage.'

'Thank you. That being said, I do want to apologise for not respecting the boundaries between the personal and the professional. And, for the record, Lorna reminded me of that at the time. What happened is entirely my responsibility.'

'Okay...'

'Now, Kayla, if you wish to lodge a complaint—'

'Joey, I'm not going to do that.'

'You have every right to—'

'I know what my rights are and I don't want to do it. I like working here. I don't want to create a bad atmosphere.'

'Are you sure?'

'Joey ... to be honest, I'm more bothered by you not looking at my drawings than what you and Lorna are doing in private.'

'Well, you didn't exactly pick your moment.'

'I know, I'm sorry. It was bad timing. But do you have time now?'

'Sure.'

Kayla turned back to the desk and took hold of her mouse. As she called up her files, Joey turned his chair around to face the monitor screen.

* * * * *

It was evening and Celia was cooking the evening meal. As she flew about the kitchen area, she felt as light as a daisy in the breeze.

She had just spent a perfect day with Stephen. After Joey had returned to work, she took the boy back to bed and the two of them had had a much needed nap. When they awoke, Stephen wanted to see Hercules, so Celia put a light lunch of fruit, cereal and yoghurt onto a tray and they ate it while watching the movie in the living room. Afterwards, they went out for a walk and ended up at a large public playground. Celia watched Stephen having fun on the various slides, swings and climbing frames, and reflected on how good she felt.

Celia's biggest fear had always been Stephen finding out her guilty secret, but now it had happened and ... and nothing! He still loved her! She was still his mummy. The ground had not opened up and sent her tumbling down to Hell after all. Instead, they had all had a good cry and Life Went On. And if Joey did decide to divorce her and leave, well ... Stephen wasn't going to blame her. He would blame his father for not being able to forgive her. In fact, as Stephen shouted 'Mummy! Look at me!' and she waved back, Celia struggled to imagine how things could have gone any better.

Children were coming out from school and the playground became busy. Stephen played with other kids while Celia chatted with other mothers. After an hour or so, she and Stephen went grocery shopping, stopped for an ice cream, and then at home Stephen was allowed an hour of computer games while Celia prepared dinner.

Joey arrived home at seven and Stephen ran to greet him as soon as he heard the key in the front door. Celia had also changed into tight jeans with her husband in mind, wearing her hair in the loose, pulled-back style she knew he found sexy. She remembered the look of suppressed rage on his face when Stephen had jumped into her arms, and knew she had some work to do to get back into Joey's good books. They needed to have sex again. More than that, Celia genuinely appreciated how Joey had dropped everything and came running for Stephen's sake, and she wanted to reward him in the best way she knew how.

Joey came into the kitchen-dining room carrying Stephen on his hip. Celia gave Joey her most dazzling smile.

'Hello, darling!' she said.

'Hi, Celia.'

Celia turned back towards the stove, a little less confident than before. He didn't sound angry, but there was something she couldn't put her finger on and it worried her. Since the whole Bjorn revelation, Joey had become near impossible to read. Meanwhile, Joey was sitting Stephen back behind the laptop. He waited for the boy to put the earbuds in, kissed the top of his head and came over to Celia.

Celia turned her head and lifted her chin, offering her mouth for a kiss. She was expecting him to refrain—which would confirm her feeling that he was pissed off with her—but Joey took hold of her chin, planted a long, closed-mouth kiss on her lips, then gave her bum a light smack as he went past. As he leaned against the kitchen counter nearby, Celia realised that she still didn't know where he was emotionally. Damn, he was getting good at this.

Joey folded his arms and spoke, pitching his voice at a level where Celia could hear it, but Stephen couldn't.

'There are a couple of things I want to tell you before dinner.'

'Before you do,' said Celia, 'can I just ask about this morning?'

'What about it?'

'Are you angry at me for telling Stephen?'

'No.'

'Are you sure?'

Joey edged closer, his gaze on Stephen. When he spoke, the volume was down by a further degree.

'Listen, Celia. I would have preferred telling him after the test came back. That's one of the things I wanted to tell you—I posted the samples off this morning.'

'When do you get the results?'

'Between two to five days. They send an email.'

'You'll let me know?'

'Of course. But getting back to what we were talking about...'

Joey frowned and took a breath.

'Okay, you told Stephen,' he said. 'And it was painful and traumatic, especially for the boy. But that was always going to be the case. I don't see how you can tell a child something like that without it being painful. And, while I have an issue with the timing, I think you handled it well.'

'He was freaking out!'

'Yes, but you weren't to know that would happen. I didn't either, or I would have never sneaked out this morning. Besides, you're his mother. You had a tough call to make and you made it. And, judging by how he is now, I think you made the right call.'

'Really?'

'Yes, Celia. Really. You are many things, my dear, but you're certainly no coward.'

Celia dropped the spatula into the pan and went straight to him. Before he knew what was happening, Joey was holding a woman in tears, her face against his chest, her arms tight around his waist like a little girl hugging her daddy.