The Ya Ya Dildohood

"I want you to cum for me while she's there, and while I can listen. Think you can do that?"

"Wow, that's a tough one," I said once again rolling my eyes at Andrea apologetically, and even more surprised when she smiled at me even more understandingly than before. "But yes, I think I can probably manage it as things are getting pretty close to being finished," I responded.

"Good, because I'm really fucking close now myself. You made me so fucking horny during MY meeting, and knowing I'm doing the same thing to you now is about the hottest fucking thing I've ever done at the office before!"

I sat there in my seat, nodding my head to a series of non-existent questions, pretending to be putting up with someone's ongoing diatribe. I had in fact been stroking, fondling, squeezing and playing with my prick the entire time. I felt the sweet first pangs of orgasmic pleasure building deep within my balls, and realized I had no place to squirt without being obvious about it. I remembered the clean hanky I had in my back pocket however, and came up with the idea of feigning a sneeze.

In the meantime, Rhonda was fingering herself away, closer and closer to orgasm. She continued relating to me how her fingers felt deep inside her pussy, and how she was wishing it were me kneeling down on the floor in her office sucking her clit, instead of the fingers she was using to emulate my sucking lips.

As I raised the hanky to my face, grimacing as though expecting to sneeze, I reacted as though it suddenly went away. Removing the handkerchief, I reached as though to put it back, and dropped it down over my exposed cock instead in a careful 'slight of hand' display that I suddenly felt very proud of having pulled off.

"Oh God Richard, I'm so close, so close baby."

To my total and complete horror, Andrea had stood up from her chair at some point, and as involved as I had been, I had not even noticed her. Andrea stood facing away from me thankfully, gazing at the photos on my office wall, admiring a few knick-knacks that I had displayed on several of my bookcases. My biggest concern however, was if she decided to walk over and look out my window. If she did that, she would have a clear, unobstructed view of what I was doing. Short of scooting my chair completely under my desk, which I KNEW would seem odd, I was in danger of having this blow up in my face...literally.

Suddenly, it was a race. Wanting, needing to cum now, and certainly before Andrea decided to check out the 'view', I began stroking my prick for all I was worth, once again slightly thankful that she wasn't looking towards me as I did.

"I'm, cumming!" Rhonda moaned beautifully into my headset.

I felt the first delicious ejaculation explode from my cock into the confines of my hanky, and continued pumping my prick, one eye on my ex, one ear on Rhonda as she had an orgasm considerably more freely into the phone that I was able to do.

"Oh, that....was...nice!" Rhonda said. "And you baby?" she asked breathlessly.

"Definitely!" I answered truthfully. Already having stuffed the hanky back into my back pocket, sequestering my rapidly wilting penis back inside my slacks. Andrea had made her way over to stand beside the window.

"I'll miss you," she said. Knowing full well I couldn't easily answer her back on that one. "Call me? Soon?"

"I will," I said casually, continuing the business like overtones of our conversation. "And thanks again, for everything," I added.

"Naughty boy!" I heard the "wink" in her voice, followed quickly by the sound of the dial tone.

"Yes, thank you Mr. Jennings. I promise, I'll get back to you just as soon as it's physically possible. No, no problem at all. Yes, yes, you're welcome. Good-bye."

I hung up the phone, "Sorry Andrea, it was an important call, and Jack is one of those kind of people that just won't let you get off the phone very easily."

"I understand," she said, walking back over to her seat and taking it. She HAD gotten close to the window, gazing out of it at an angle, but thankfully, I didn't believe she had seen anything, or surely she'd have reacted to it if she had. I was still shaking slightly from the incredible excitement of the whole experience. Not realizing a real sneeze was coming until it was nearly upon me. Automatically, I reached back into my pocket and retrieved my handkerchief, just barely covering my nose and mouth when I sneezed.

"Bless you," she said.

"Thank you," I responded wiping my mouth and nose, beginning at that moment to replace the hanky.

"Uh, um, you've got a little of it on your nose." Andrea said pointing at me a little uncomfortably.

"What?"

Her face reddened. "Snot, you've got a bit of snot on the side of your nose," she laughed openly at me.

Horrified, I reached up with my hand to wipe it, distrusting to use the hanky once again in doing so. In the millisecond it took to wipe the so-called 'snot' off my nose, I glanced at it, and saw it certainly wasn't, and hoped desperately that Andrea didn't know that.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, wiping my cum wad into my hanky as I did. "Now, why are you here?" I asked, once again taking my less than friendly voice with her as I locked eyes with her.

At least the tone of my voice sobered her up slightly, and though continuing to smile at me, she had at least quit snickering.

"What I wanted to drop by and tell you was, I've been transferred!"

"Thank God!" I thought. "Asia perhaps?" I wondered silently. "Oh? Where too?"

"Here!"

"Here?"

"Yes here, San Diego!" she said excitedly.

"And the reason you felt like you needed to tell me that was?"

"Was, because I came down this past weekend to look for a place to live."

"And?"

"And, I've found a place. It's perfect for me."

"And?"

"And I wanted you to know about it, because I didn't want you to think I was stalking you or something."

"Andrea?" I said questioningly, a sudden fearful knot beginning to form deep within the pit of my stomach.

"It's just down the street from you, about a block away," she said matter of factly.

"Terrific!" I said sarcastically.

"Yes it is, isn't it?" she said clueless, missing my point entirely.

"Anyway, after our last encounter together, and the way that all ended so horribly. I've been giving it some thought, and I think that maybe you and I should discuss what happened. And since we're practically neighbors, I was hoping that maybe you could come over one night for dinner or something. Just as soon as I'm all moved in of course."

"Of course," I said again as sarcastically as before.

"Actually, maybe you'd feel more comfortable going someplace for dinner rather than coming over to my place."

"Andrea," I began.

"We still need to talk Richard. Especially since we'll be living so close to one another. Maybe if we clear the air, we can get on with our lives."

I was about to tell her "No fucking way" when I'd heard that last part. Maybe she really was serious this time. And if there was one thing I wanted to do, it was get on with my life, which excluded having anything to do with her.

"Ok, dinner out someplace sounds fine. When?"

"Are you free tomorrow evening?" she asked.

I thought, "Sure...what time?"

"How about we meet at 'The Wharf' around eight," she said standing up from her seat and preparing to leave. "Oh, don't bother standing up, she said smiling. "I wouldn't want to embarrass you any more than necessary," she added.

"Excuse me?"

Andrea made it as far as the door before she turned back around to face me. "By the way, do you always masturbate whenever you're on the phone?" She winked at me, opened the door and stepped out before I could say anything. Christy stood just outside the door, she'd been on her way into my office for whatever reason, and looked at me about as red faced as I've ever seen her. Andrea laughed wickedly, stepped past my assistant and headed out of the offices.

Christy stepped into my office holding up a pink-slip message for me. She was blushing furiously and waving it at me like a hanky, a cum stained pink hanky. Normally I would have stood, but under the bizarre suddenly very freaky circumstances, I couldn't.

"I'm....I'm....sorry," she said holding it out to me. "Rhonda? Called to say she just wanted you to know how much she enjoyed what you just did for her, she wanted to ensure I gave this message to you before your wife, your ex-wife I mean... left. She said that was VERY important for some reason."

I could only hope that Christy, as bright as she really was, was naive enough to have NO idea what was really going on, or what had really just taken place. Bad enough trying to explain anything else to her, whether she was suspicious of it or not. I hoped she thought, that my ex had simply said something horrible enough to try and make me look foolish. Which she had, in essence, managed to accomplish very well without really trying.

"Thank you Christy," I said taking the note from her, though I did have to sit up slightly and reach out in order to do so, just managing without sitting up all the way. I had no idea if the spot had dried enough on my pants not to be noticeable. But I wasn't about to look down and check it out at the moment either.

Once Christy had given me the message, she all but fled from my office. A second or two later, I was laughing hysterically.

#

I arrived home from work as confused and as frustrated as I had ever been. On the one hand, I'd had the most incredible morning imaginable. On the other, I once again had my ex-wife to face and deal with.

I'd barely gotten inside, sitting my briefcase down on the kitchen counter when the phone rang. I was half expecting it to be Andrea when I answered.

"Hello!" I said a little too forcefully.

"Bad day huh?"

"Oh, sorry Maggie. Yeah, it was, and wasn't actually."

She laughed. "Want to tell me about it?"

"I'd like that."

"Good, nothing fancy for dinner. You hungry?"

"Famished." And suddenly I really was.

"Listen, tell you what, first we'll fix you a nice hot tub to sit and relax in. I'll wash your back and you can lay back and tell me all about it. Afterwards we'll have a nice little dinner together, and then you can go down on me. How's that sound?"

Good 'ole Maggie, if there was anyone in the world that could sooth the savage beast she could.

"I'll be right over," I told her. And then as usual. all I heard was the dial tone.

Maggie was already running the bath by the time I got there. Stripping off my clothing was as natural for me around her now as it had ever been. I stepped into the hot soapy, fragrantly scented water and began to enjoy my 'Calgon' experience. True to her word, Maggie washed my back but she didn't leave it at that either. As though I was her little boy, which is almost the way I felt around her during times like this, she washed my arms, even my pits and continued down over my legs, washing my feet and each one of my toes too.

Slowly I began to relate to her the details of my incredible day. Maggie listened intently, laughing where appropriate, and occasionally having me retell her the more interesting parts, especially when I described to her the way Rhonda had sounded when she touched herself, or how I had felt in doing the same. Little by little I slowly unwound and actually became less and less irritated with my ex-wife.

We'd had a light but delicious dinner of pasta salad and several glasses of wine. Now as we lay head to toe upon her bed, we languished in the afterglow of two very nice climaxes that we'd given one another in a slow oral simultaneous tonguing that had releaved a considerable amount of stress.

"So what should I do, Maggie?" I asked my head still nestled comfortably between her legs, the aroma of her feminine juices still wafting pleasurably in my face.

She licked the shaft of my cock like a kitten stroking her fur after a nice long nap. "I think maybe you should go, see what she has to say, at least." She licked me slowly again. I was only half hard now, her licks not meant to stimulate, though they did feel very, very nice.

"At least you'll be on neutral ground," Maggie added. "Though I certainly don't know her the way you do, I can't imagine that anything could happen over dinner."

I thought about that for a moment. Normally I would have agreed with her, but under the circumstances, I wasn't putting anything past my ex-wife at the moment. "I don't know Mags, maybe you're right. Guess we'll see tomorrow night though, won't we?"

She answered by drawing my penis back inside her mouth intently, meaning to make me nice and hard once again. And she did.

#

I arrived at the 'Wharf' where we'd agreed to meet for dinner a half hour early. I wanted to get at least one drink under my belt before Andrea arrived, and possibly two. Sitting down at the bar, I ordered, turning to scan the room in the event that Andrea had had the same intentions as I had. That was when I saw Joanne and Janice sitting over in one of the small comfy booths sharing a drink and chatting. They saw me at the same time I spotted them and immediately waved me over.

"Hi!" I said, surprised to see them there. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Hi Richard," they said as one in greeting. Then Joanne answered my question. "This is one of our favorite places to come for dinner. We eat here probably once a week at least. Are you here with someone?" she asked, looking past me expecting to see someone sitting at the bar.

"Actually, I'm having dinner with my ex-wife."

"Andrea is it?" Janice asked. I nodded my head yes. "Just social? Or you two trying to patch things up?" she pressed.

"Neutral ground, Maggie called it. We're having dinner and hopefully putting the last pieces of our relationship to bed so we can get on with our own lives," I explained.

"Well Richard, I'd be very careful about what it is she wants to put in that bed," Joanne warned me.

I laughed, having to agree with her on that point. "Yes, and believe me, I've got my guard up," I told her.

"Just don't let her try and get anything else up," Janice added. "I know you, once you start thinking with your dick," she said lowering her voice, "...like most men, you seem to lose all ability to think clearly." They both laughed at that, and though I didn't join them in their little joke, I did smile acknowledging their concerns.

"Is that her?" Janice said suddenly.

I turned glancing towards the entry of the bar. Andrea was indeed standing in the doorway and had spotted me talking to Janice and Joanne. "Well, guess I'd better go," I said. "See you both on Saturday?" I questioned turning to leave.

"Wouldn't miss it," Janice said. Joanne blew me a kiss, and then I headed off to join Andrea for dinner.

Andrea was dressed to the nines, probably a little more elegantly than was necessary for this place. She'd worn her long hair braided over one shoulder leaving the other bare, which is how she knew I'd loved her wearing it when we were dating. "Uh oh..." I thought as I approached. "She's pulling out all of the stops."

I kissed her offered cheek. "Would you care for something to drink?" I asked. She glanced past me towards the table to where Joanne and Janice were still sitting.

"I'll order something at the table," she said. "Shall we go and sit down?"

Having made reservations, I gave the hostess my name. Andrea and I followed, groaning inwardly when I saw where she had placed us. The restaurant was known for it's intimate little settings. Though there were a few tables designed to seat multiple couples, all of their two person seating's were in quaint little half-booths that ensured couples sat next to one another though comfortably at an angle rather than apart from one another.

Our hostess had additionally positioned us so that we had a nice picture window overlooking the ocean, with the back rest of the booth behind us, it also gave us a great deal of privacy from other patrons sitting close by.

Andrea immediately slid into the booth, looking up at me expectantly. I smiled at the Hostess. "Thanks," I said with less sincerity behind it than the word actually implied.

Our hostess smiled sweetly, waving over a drink waiter once Andrea had indicated she would like something, having missed my point entirely. "Not her fault," I chastised myself silently taking my seat next to Andrea.

Andrea had worn a bright red satin dress that seemed to cling to every curve of her body. It was immediately obvious to me that she wasn't wearing a bra either as her nipples were so perfectly outlined against the thin material of her gown, I could have counted each and every bump that was shown. Not to mention the twin hard little points pressing through the material.

In addition to that, the dress itself had a deep 'V' neckline plunging down to a perfect point just below her naval. The only piece of jewelry she'd worn, a nice sized diamond stud, piercing her bellybutton. Every time Andrea moved or leaned forward even in the slightest, the front of her dress parted revealing almost entirely one or the other of her breasts.

"Interesting dress," I told her.

"You like it?" she asked leaning forward.

I had to admit, her tits looked pretty good to me as she leaned over. Even though they weren't the same one's I'd originally married.

"Are you ready to order?"

Our waitress had arrived unexpectedly, to my immediate relief. I noticed that Andrea remained in the same position she had been in, unmoving, and showing a goodly portion of her right breast to the waitress. Even our waitress noticed as I sat there looking at her, while she stood looking over at Andrea. Her face reddening slightly.

"I'd like the lobster,"Andrea said, which didn't surprise me. She'd placed her hand on my thigh beneath the table. "My treat," she added huskily.

"I'd like the steak AND lobster," I decided grinning. "She wants to pay?" I thought, "Then, she'll pay."

Our waiter arrived with the drinks we'd ordered, and as he began setting them down on our table, I heard commotion behind me as the hostess attempted to sit another couple.

"No, if you don't mind, we'd like that table over there," I heard a familiar voice saying.

From my vantage point, I was able to look back over my shoulder without being too obvious about it. When I did, I saw April and Shirley sitting down at the booth behind us. Though the back of their booth would be facing us, ensuring 'their' privacy, it meant they would be no more than three or four feet away from where we were sitting. I laughed in spite of myself. "Coincidence?" I thought, "Not hardly."

Andrea removed her hand from my thigh when I laughed. I'd forgotten she'd placed it there, having left it on me the entire time, even as the waiter served us our drinks.

"Something funny?" she asked.

"Oh no, just something I remembered," I stated quickly lifting my scotch to take a drink.

"Have anything to do with yesterday?" she questioned.

I choked, almost spilling it all over myself in the process. "Why do you ask?" I managed.

"Just wondered WHY you were sitting there playing with yourself." she said softly so that I was confident that not even Shirley or April could have heard her, unless they'd brought along a pair of stethoscopes, which at this point wouldn't have surprised me.

A combination of Andrea's revealing dress, the drinks, as well as the erotic morning I had spent on the phone with Rhonda, had caused my prick to harden involuntarily. My brain vaguely reminded me of Janice and Joanne's warning. Andrea placed her hand back on my thigh once again, but this time slid it smoothly up my leg before I could react, and brushed my swollen stiff penis.

"Hmmmm, making you horny, am I?" she teased. She'd said that loudly enough that so that Shirley and April both could have heard it, with or without a stethoscope. Once again I glanced over behind my shoulder, looking past Andrea. I couldn't see either April or Shirley without turning completely around, but now I spotted Maggie and Gladys sitting at another booth facing towards us, but a considerable distance away.