All Comments on 'The Yards'

It’s great to see another author join this genre. I loved your story and it was very well written - I didn’t see the ending coming - well done! Please write more!

A wonderful first entry into the legal slavery universe. The author opens up all sorts of possibilities leaving me wondering who will end up wearing a collar long-term.

Good start!

you think to go further with this story?

Excellent. Well written and horny as hell. More please.

I genuinely enjoyed this story. It is always hard to write in this genre and not slip off into cruel or generic plots. You deserve the good rating but I would also like to talk about a negativ impression I got: you tend to too detailed description about things which are not important for your plot. Like on the last page! You descripe each women in the trailer or the body of the teacher. But is this important in this situation? It is a bit distracting for me. I am more interested in the inner thoughts of your main characters. Or the vibes the "villain/businessman" gives off. You also lost me with some of scenes in the tent. I am not too deep into all this stuff so a more rough description (with my mind filling in the gaps) would be helpful.

I hope I could help you with my review and please dont take my criticism to heart: you did a good job. :-)

Although they are very different, I am unsure that I would have started my stories if I'd known about this one. This is excellent.

The descriptions were disjointed from the action, it was hard to tell what was happening to whom. I think a good editor could really help. Despite my complaints, you did a good job of portraying a dangerous and disreputable place. Characterization was short, but you left some interesting puzzles.

I wonder how they knew the girls were there without paying. Granted, it doesn't seem like anyone was using the top half side of the glory wall.