All Comments on 'The Yips Pt. 02'

Simply fantastic thankyou

Great story. A fitting end like “The Natural” but well presented as and standing by itself.

Well done. Too bad Lauren didn't learn a damn thing.

Great story with a great plot, gret characters. greaat dialogue, gret detail, great insights, great vocalulary, and great ending. Did I say it was grea?

How can anyone hope to follow this class act? I call it a 5x5x5..... Just gotta check out some of your other stories. cd

Thank you for sharing your wonderful story.

I can't rate because I detest baseball so I refuse to read a sports story.

Just fantastic. One of the best on the site. Thanks for the effort!

Crusader2325 is correct; this would make a really good baseball movie and probably why it was so easy to visualize. Parts of this story and inspiration can come from many points and this story had a few scenes right out of a novel/movie with a rugged looking lead actor.

Let’s burn a lightening bolt on a special bat and give it the name of Wonderboy instead of Keraunos and instead of throwing a fast ball against the head of a POS wife stealer, I didn't like that act of violence from the philosophical Bryan, lets shatter a slime ball owner's box window with a foul ball. Bryan didn't want to almost kill the a--hole, just to screw him up. So a fast ball that dislocated a shoulder to end his career on the gridiron would be perfect. And for fun let's have the Reds batting around just once with Bryan leading the train.

I enjoyed right field in Little League baseball but was never very good until I was given glasses and realized that some of the birds I saw were really planes much higher in the sky. I thought no players were better than the great Mickey Mantel and Roger Maris (I still hate drainage covers) with a solid line up like the Yankees back in the 50's...the best team that money could buy.

I won't even bother trying to think up multitudes of laudatory adjectives, but this may be the smartest story I have read on this site. Truly well done.

Great story !

One that even Mackey Sasser, Chuck Knowblach, Steve Sax and Jon Lester could appreciate.

While I saw the ending coming, the bits of my hometown shining through kept it light and fun.

Now I just need to get to that Turner exhibit !!!

5 stars

very well written. ido not play watch or have any interest in baseball yet that did not bother me!!!

I don't give out many 5's. Thanks for sharing.

Awesome

I love this story. It may help I’m a red sox fan and you got all of that right. But I think you got all the rest of it right, too.

So well done. Thank you!

Great, great story! Well rounded characters, a strong story and drama. Plus, baseball, my favorite sport. Very impressive!

Brilliant. Great characters. Totally believable storyline. Hitting Owen Archer because of the yips totally credible. Lauren's character a really sad but understandable person. Brie a delightfully insightful character. A beautiful story with genuinely satisfying ending.

Great story!!

You are an excellent writer. Coming from Scotland I know little about baseball other than names such as Babe Ruth and Lew Garrett (?) but you obviously know your sport. I think the ex wife got off lightly with her ending quite comfortably with no, or few, regrets - at least that's what I took from the story. Still an easy 5 stars for the quality of the writing.

Probably deserved a five, but you lost me in the last paragraph or so. You are a great writer, thank you.

Well-crafted. Characters were individuals, not generics. Very readable and enjoyable. A little of Oshaw in it - a major compliment.

A very excellent story, one that let me see through your character’s eyes - Be in his shoes. Not many stories or authors can do that.

Thank you

One of the best,

I don't care for baseball, but loved this story. Five stars (though a bit over-written).

Only watched baseball once. It was the Bluejays when we were visiting friends in Canada. Couldn’t fathom what was going on or why they kept stopping to take breaks, but then I don’t suppose many of the people around me understood cricket. I did enjoy it though, mainly because of the friendly attitude of the fans around us, who amused themselves trying to explain, mostly without success, the intricacies of the game. Having read this excellent story, maybe I should go back over the pond to watch another game.

well done

Outstanding! You’re right up there with Kublicon. Superb!

5 stars. Excellent story.

It is Worcester not to worry you the rest very good.

Dynamite last paragraph! A sublime way the bring the characters story with Megan and the tale both to an end. Nicely done. Bravo!

Baseball has been a constant in my life, now at my age just a long-suffering Orioles fan. You put the right feelings in among the facts. Made this enjoyable. Thanks.

Very good story, Sir! 5 stars

Awesome, can,t say anymore!

Tear Jerker !!!! I figured Brie not Melody would be with him. happy ending for "mortals" and the graveside bat

Outstanding good.

Like a McDonald's hamburger, your story apparently is wildly popular, and has the same substance and quality. Congratulations.

The only thing I found more obnoxious than the underlying sports theme, was the sympathy and enablement of a sociopathic woman who believed her poor upbringing justified a life of deceit, betrayal, and emotional theft. Lauren loves only one person in this world. And women like her are about as hard to identify as an opossum among a litter of puppies. Yeah, she be the one eating the weakest puppy, or man, she could find. And she found a real peach, first, then a chocolate bar, we presume a good sized one, then a Twinkie, who will really enjoy her sucking the creme out through his cock while she is sucking his substance out through his pockets. Lauren is just another money grubbing white trash whore. And the men she defrauds deserve it. Bravo! Funny, the spell checker doesn't even recognize the word Brava. Guess you don't need that word when applauding a baseball player, or a prostitute. At least the prostitute doesn't expect you to pay her for just watching.

So congratulations on a highly rated story. Keep up the good work. And thanks for the effort.

The writers can take pride in a well written story and its wonderful description of events and emotions.

Your best work to date. 5 stars.

Hooked

I really enjoyed it. Thanks

Wow, simply fantastic, and I’m not even a baseball fan!

Good story but a senior has zero power in the baseball draft.

Coincidence??

No-one, I mean no-one, including the jury that would find against Bryan, would believe the professional ball player just happened to throw the ball perfectly into the temple of the man who seduced his wife and was sitting next to her, yips or no. A well-written fairy tale, but that "coincidence" won't fly.

I also would have appreciated a conversation between Lauren and Bryan after her therapy. Would have been emotional, which I crave.

You've done again

A really great story.

Thank you. 5/5

@lujon2019

So the cheating whore is rewarded?

Could have at least had her locked unto a prenup that left her nothing more than a slave, albeit a rich one -

It must suck to be you. Always angry with nothing positive to say.

Sorry about YOUR luck....

Very well written story the characters were well developed along with the plot. This is the first I story of yours that I have read and will be looking forward to more

Great....

Rated 5*****

I have sympathy for Lauren and her family...

But.

.sometimes we have to move on

Every once in a while Literotica lives up to it's name.

Great story, despite me being a Dodger fan and not a fan of lawyers. Glad to hear that the ex-wife landed on her feet. A nice extra touch would have been to do something nice with the ex’s parents.

Oh this was good! Thanks for writing!

Maninconn

Well done.

Just as good as the first part; plot and writing.

Top ratings from me.

Loved it. Aa real 'live' wordsmith you are.

Great story

Loved it! Thank you!

This was utterly brilliant, in every meaningful way. No more need be said.

damn, this is a really good story.

I know nothing about the game I'm Australian, but I know GREAT WRITING . Thanks.

I hesitated reading this series until I was certain there wouldn't be a part 3. Today I read parts 1 and 2. Both 5 star tales and part 2 ended in spectacular fashion. Great writing. I'll look forward to more of your stories in the near (hopefully) future.

1 word - EXCEPTIONAL,👍 5⭐️.

Best story I've read on this site for a very long time, well done!

God damn. This is so sublimely written. Hats off.

I believe my previous comment was #162.

How's that for symbolism?!? 😆

I must agree with the consensus, great writing!

This quality certainly sets the bar at an unbelievable level!

Very nicely done. 5 stars - cuz, you know, that's the limit to how many can be awarded.

Excellent tale.

This is the sort of story -- one that centers on a sundered spouse -- that should be at the top rankings of the LW category, not one where the wife is incidental to telling a much easier story.

Second go-round. Still hated to see it end. They don't come any better, and hardly any can even come close.

To placate some of the baseball haters amongst the commentators, Misses Lena Horne and Peggy Lee sang "I can't stand baseball, the game's insane. What I like can't be called on account of rain." But I'll bet they both would have given this story a 5, because the song's title is "I Love to Love" and the lasting image is more love than baseball.

Wow, just great work.

What a fabulous story from an excellent wordsmith. Bravo!

skipped most of it. i mean, who gives a fuck about baseball? it's not even a sport.

Excellent story. I've bookmarked this fine author.

Excellent, I have not the vocabulary to adequately praise this story. The ANONs are here again with inane criticism, Baseball isn't even a sport? What kind of remark is that? That's un-American and he should be shot! Just kidding just another fool that opens his mouth and and confirms he's a fool.

Dunno how I missed this when it first posted but wow! Excellent characters, excellent movement between scenes. Combination of the baseball action with the characters' development and activities. Setting up the climax with the backstory on his summer stay with the Lowells--then continuing Brie's visits as re-grounding times--is quality writing skill. Always a little sorrowful to reach the end of stories such as this. Thank you.

FaAN F’ing TasTiC

Baseball is life in game form. You have to play everyday and bad things happen when tou do everything right. Perseverance is the only way to win

Fantastic!

Beautiful story. Couldn’t put it down! Thank you for sharing your work.

I even felt sorry for the cheating wife, as that fear of being poor seemed realistic to me given her background. It didn’t bother me too much that she didn’t get burned in the end; the MC made out well and it wouldn’t have suited his character to try to get “revenge.” Well-told story and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Definitely in the loving wives hall of fame. I could not put this story down. The writing was so descriptive and entertaining.

This is an absolute classic. Great baseball and great life story. Hratbprotagonist. No matter what what misfortune befalls him, he never allows himself to become too distracted, feeling sorry or bitter. He just takes account of what he has, not wallowing in bitterness like the obsessed BTB types that howl on this site, he simply moves on, bears down, and works to create his next success, athletically, financially, and relationally. Good for him. Good, healthy dude. Good life. Good healthy story. Yeah !!!

Probably the most literate, best told story in Literotica history. Seriously, blenging UT baseball, with Harvard Law, MIT, plaeto, Red Sox, Ciscero, Homer, Latin, Aramaic, and the Cape Cod League? Really? Genius. Great pts he profile of Lauren too, and how perverse personal perceptions/obsessions can undermine what should be even the most stable situations, re: relationships, among other things. Great dialogue too , e.g., the banter back and forth between Mel and Bryan. The retort from the UT baseball player to the Harvard Law grad eschewing her mocking his believes “communications” degree that “will ne so useful.” And his booming retort with four paragraphs of Homer IN ANCIENT Greek! Brilliant. A mic drop if ever there was one. And great capture of Fenway, and the contrasting cultures of Boston/LA. Perfect. Just great great stuff.

To thee the dipbleep ANON 9 below whose only “contribution” to the comments is that he doesn’t like baseball and doesn’t consider it a sport. Really? That’s your only take away? Deep dude. To appropriate from Mel, I’ll bet your “communications” degree is serving you well in life. Would you also hate sex with hotties like Mel because you don’t like redheads? Just a guess, but I’ll bet you’re also not down with Plato, or ciscero, or Seneca, or Homer, or languages not English, eh? Just a guess. This piece was outstanding on so many levels. Too bad you missed it. Bad day, ran outta Pabst, eh?

Very well written. Very deep? Wonderful baseball action. Loved the final "yip". Sad that Lauren couldn't handle the risks of marriage. The MC was a clear protagonist and good man. She clearly had mental issues. I would have been more proactive about splitting her up from Archer but the MC was too nice a guy.

I‘m a sucker for baseball and good stories. I loved it, five.

Cheers,

Captcha

5 stars As a Red Sox fan and New Englander, I automatically loved it but the story was very well written.

One of the best I have been fortunate to read

Still outstanding on second reading. Probably the smartest story I have read on this site.

Great story.

Excellent! I noticed only one lie/lay misuse--a record for this genre.

Good heartfelt story. Enjoyed the little Breezer. Thanks for your writing.

EXCELLENT!! Some sad, some happy. Like real life, although most people don't win and lose that many close friends that quick. But still dang good.

I just found you! Wow! You can write the cover off a baseball! Loved every word!

Even though I am not a baseball fan, this is a wonderful read. I did look up different terms to better understand the story. Thank you for such great work

Standing ovation. A fulfilling and satisfying story. A wonderful read. Thank you.

Amazing story and excellent writing. This is one of the best two part series on this site. Hands down!

One of the best!! Thank you!!!

Really wonderful. Thanks.

If writing is like musical composition, then you my friend just delivered a symphony. Truly one of the best!

Amazing! You are a great writer!

Brilliant, composition was really great and the emotions flowed. 👏 Bravo.