All Comments on 'The Yips Pt. 02'

Well done. Thank you.

LWlurker

Thanks for sharing...

Fantastic read, very entertaining.

So the cheating whore is rewarded?

Could have at least had her locked unto a prenup that left her nothing more than a slave, albeit a rich one

I loved every word that you wrote

A Greek God rises above a sea of cucks! Great story for this sports fan. Well done! 5*

What an outstanding story. You have it all. The betrayal, the new found love and yes the baseball. I will bet this is the only revenge story that uses a baseball as it’s weapon. Very well done

Damn good story. Thank you. *****

Guess you got the yips and yipped the ending...

I just didn’t like the story, sorry, not at all.

Scores 2/5

Great story- coming from a die hard yankee fan

Lauren got off way too easily, and what is this bullshit about him being happy about her being happy? Wimp attitude at it's best.

Great story!

5

Just a suggestion… under the circumstances, they should name his son “Homer”

I was sure about Chapter 1 but after Chapter 2 I'll have day...outstanding story.

Of course Bryan hit well in the playoffs at Fenway, the red Sox’s sign stealing helpsed with that. Dodgers got screwed.

Well written. Fun read.

That was freaking awesome. Not really btb and it was fine because he got something so much better. Great stuff….and coming from a Dodgers fan that’s saying something.

Outstanding, one of the best I have read in a while!

5* A gem.

Simply outstanding!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great story

thanks for trying to make the most boring sport know to man, interesting. But it was still boringball, so could not give it the score it would have gotten otherwise.

Too fabulous for Words! This probably should have been a novel. It is one of the three best stories on Literotica.

That was truly exceptional.

GREAT!!!!!!

WONDERFUL.

Thank YOU

Excellent 👍 Thank you for sharing your talent

Excellent story! Fantastic description of baseball, and the thoughts of players.

The best I’ve read here in a very long time. Superb!!

Great story. Keep writing. 5*****'s

One of the best I have ever read…

Why doesnt the cunt ever get destroyed. Fucking cucks.

The writer has more sympathy for Lauren than I do, little material girl throwing everything worthwhile away while chasing the almighty dollar, but the story itself- wow. Another clear 5, and I know the story has a great end, but I could keep reading this all day. Thanks

Masterpiece, couldn't change a word.

This was a great series. Easily one of the best stories ever posted to LW. 5 stars does not seem to be sufficient for your efforts.

Great story ‘RB’ ! Very realistic & nothing over the top. Just a man going thru life, trying navigate life’s tribulations and his love for the game of baseball. I think that is why i so thoroughly enjoyed the story. You know you have raised the bar for yourself. 5* thank you

Absolutely the best story on the site!!!

Very nice finish. something new. Archer was scum and deserved what he got. In real life he would have had a good case against Bryan but I like this way better

Wow, great story. Thank you for sharing your creation.

Just about the highest quality story posted here in a very long while. Just so very well written.

.

If there was any nit to pick, it would be the lack of a final conversation between Bryan and Lauren. Nit that it wasn’t perfectly clear what her problem was….but would have been nice to hear her explain it to Bryan, and perhaps in the context of having arrived at her own understanding of her pathology.

.

One of the easiest 5 ***** to award ever!

I’m not even a baseball fan but this was an excellent story, probably my favorite of the ones you’ve written so far. 5*

Wow, very good story and the last page and a half just wow. I love baseball so I found this compelling, I know all about the yips from golf, and watching Chuck Knobeloch struggle, this was quite good. Ilaughed out loud, and i shed some tears.

I really like the depth you wrote into the story. Both in parts 1 and 2, you provided a great amount of detail. This allowed the pictures/images we created in our heads to be totally evolved persons.

Having been a gym rat for year in my youth and military time, this made the story very interactive and personable to me. Being a gym rat does not mean I was good at sports. I just enjoyed the comradery of like minded people.

Keep on writing

JH4Fun

The story rhythms have a lyrical flow, and the "yips" motif works beautifully as both plot device and metaphor.

F——— perfect.

Probably, maybe a great story, but it seemed like a foreign language. Simply not cricket chaps !!!!

Awesome story. Loved it

First thing..Yankes Suck..Second thing..your amazing!!!

As a lifelong Boston Sports fan, All of them!!

I appreciate your weaving them into an outstanding piece of writing. I cant help but picture your MC as a copy of Dustin Pedroia.

My favorite 2nd baseman. Please keep writing. Well done!

What a wonderful story. absolutely full marks.

Great story! It's awesome that we get to read stuff as good as this. I don't usually start serials until they appear to be done but I had gone ahead and started this one. Part one was great and this one even better! Thanks for a great finish!

Oh my God you can write ! This was captivating and the realism just ... felt like I was there ! Can’t wait to read your other 19 stories , if they’re half as good as this one I’ll be in for nineteen exquisite treats !

I love baseball. Great story, thanks! 5*

Really loved this story, as with any story I really enjoy I just wish this one was longer. Thank you for sharing this one with us.

Damn! 5*

Compared to what we get here daily this is excellent. Compared to really good writing, this has its moments, but there are also many of the usual inane LW cliches and trope buried in some decent prose. There is also too much "telling" instead of showing. I can't score this fairly, so I won't,but I will say the insight into baseball, which I can't watch, is fascinating. This author(s) has talent.

Really good story, well done!

Fantastic story. Practically cinematic. Thanks for sharing it.

Loved it, well done.

Wish I could give it six stars

Great story - excellent writing.

Thanks for the smiles....

Holy Cow!!!!

5 stars for this one.

This was a pleasure to read. The baseball part was great, the revenge was much different than the usual and satisfying as hell. It was a romance, a cheating wife story and a baseball story all rolled into one. I greatly enjoyed it.

A perfect diamond. 5 * .

What a great story. Loved it. 5 stars, thanks for posting.

Sad it should end, but it was a great read.

Great story. Great writing. You batted a thousand on this one.

Damn!!

TK

Outstanding story

Absolutely fabulous. Thanks

Wow, excellent story. Wake up Hollyweird, this would make a better movie than the trash your now putting out. Five well deserved Stars.

Except for misspelling Worcester, a perfect capture of the spirit of baseball and the passion of the Red Sox.

Thank you for a most excellent story... 5stars all day long, i could almost smell the grass.

Perfect … Thank You!!!

5/5

loved it

Just a terrific series. Beautifully done.

Love the karma, pitch that hit asshole in the head. Made my day.

I worked with a young guy that was drafted to the Canadian league. His high school girl friend that was born with a silver spoon in her mouth wrapped him up when he got drafted. A couple years later the slump you mentioned got him and they let him go. Silver spoon wife let go of him just as fast also. He did not get anything but the shaft from her, lucky there were no children.

Great story.

Thanks

Simply amazing, great read and story arc. Five does not do it justice. Thank you very much.

He’s getting sued whether he had the yips or not. The standard is preponderance of evidence. How convenient that his yips manifested by a throw that struck the guy there with his wife. Otherwise, a good story.

A brilliant story about the best and worst of people. Combine that with some real insight of baseball you have a classic read.

Your conclusion met and exceeded my hopes.

As near-perfect as LW stories get. There's no such thing as a bad story that's too short or a good story that's too long. This could have been longer, but said all that needed to be said. Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks®...

Holy shit!

What a great tale. I especially liked the final throw of his yips.

One of the best! Easy 5*! Thank you author! Your talent is amazing!

I m sure this is your best story to date. It is a joy to see a new writer to Literotica flourishing as you are. Thank you

4/5. Would have been 5/5 if Lauren had gotten any type of payback. Unrepentant slut.....

One of the very best, all time!

whats a porch glider? is that a porch swing?

I"ll even vote.

Considering what I think of professional sports, this was an uphill battle, but you got it done.

A bit, if I were to try to be critical... OTT. Florid, if I had to reach. Kind of like how that other guy(and gal) who you see a lot of on the best of listing tend to write, actually.

If I were this dramatic in my life, my adrenal cortex would have blown up years ago.

But! How else are you going to portray transcendence?

I might have to work on that issue...

Green-something

I personlly couldn't identify with his continued soft spot for Lauren. On the other hand, this story is far too good to dock any points from. 5 stars.

? what was that was that a double ending? so the first one was a LW and the second a bad romance?

As a baseball loving Brit, this one ticked ALL the boxes for me. Thank you

One of the best stories I've read on here - Thanks!

Well I can only give you Five stars, it is so worthy of more!

Baseball, The Yips, Romance, and overcoming yourself just play ball. Don’t crawl into a hole let the beast out and play ball.

Great! Just great! Thank you.

Great

Absolute cracker of a story, thank you. Everything you need in a real good entertaining tale and very well told. 5*

Absolutely astounding!!