Therapy, She Thought it Would Help

"Chill out, babe; it's not important, it's just some psychobabble bull crap. Nobody believes all this crapola."

She glanced up at me pleadingly, "Don't you care about our marriage? Damn it, this is serious, Marcus, if you won't even try, I think we are in real trouble."

We arrived in the dining room and we marched past all the food, being a buffet style, there were rows of assorted foods laid out in cabinets.

We ended up seated with three other couples who were all in deep discussion about the different aspects of what had transpired up till this point. Kushla joined in, and it was apparent, I was the odd one out. Even the guys were into it.

It was like being in one of those daytime talk shows, where everyone talks about their feeling... Hah, feelings my ass, it was all bullshit. I turned off, concentrating on my lunch. At least the food was good.

I was dragged out of my contemplation by the guy next to me asking, "What did you think, Marcus?"

I hadn't heard the comment, so I gave him another limerick. Fuck, I wished I remembered some of the other stuff as well as I did the limericks.

The chick I brought home was a prize.

With an alluring set of bright blue eyes.

Her tits so well-kept.

They were what I'd expect.

Her penis however was quite a surprise.

I expected the guys to at least chuckle, but silence engulfed us. As I grinned turning to Kush, I was shocked when she jumped up and ran out of the room, sobbing her eyes out.

The table sank into a deep uncomfortable silence, nobody said a damn thing for quite some time until one of the other chicks got up and went looking for her.

Eventually one of the guys gasped, "Man, you are in trouble. Holy snapping bat shit, what were you thinking?"

I shrugged, pushed back my chair and left them to it. As I walked around the garden, I was just about at the point where I said fuck it, and went home, but as I walked, Melody fell into step with me. "Do you mind if we talk?"

"Yeah, shoot."

"What exactly is your problem? You have done your best to disrupt the class at every juncture... can you just tell me why?"

"Okay, sister, you want to know why? This is garbage, that's why. None of this shit means anything; it is just mumbo fucking jumbo. It's only purpose is to make you a few bucks."

Shocked, she stopped dead in her tracks, "Is that what you really think... or are you just too scared to open up? Personally, I think it's the latter. I think you have been hurt at some stage of your life and now you are so tightly strung you are prepared to incinerate your marriage rather than try."

"Sorry, but you're wrong. I just think it's shit. When I have a problem, I talk to my bros on the golf course and we sort it out. All this namby-pamby feeling stuff is just shit."

"Marcus, unless you haven't been watching, Kushla is upset. She told me when she booked into this weekend that she was really worried about your relationship. She thinks you are in trouble."

That shocked me, but maybe it shouldn't have. Kush seemed on a mission this weekend to tell anybody who would listen our most personal business. Melody reached out, gripping my arm tightly. "Marcus, if you don't take this opportunity, then believe me, you might very well be going home alone."

She wandered off and I finished my stroll through the garden alone. Was she serious... or was she just using that emotional blackmail to get me to fall into line? She was obviously grumpy about me turning her session into a joke, but Kush did seem upset.

Upon returning to the auditorium, the rest of the crowd was already seated cross legged on their mats. Kush stood off to the side in deep conversation with Melody. As I walked in, she glanced up and wandered over to give me a hug, and we sat on our mat.

Melody welcomed us all back in and announced she wanted to delve a little deeper into our amassed problems.

This time when the pads came around, we had to write down what our partners biggest fear was.

I decided to take it a little more seriously this time. It was easy, as Kush was petrified of spiders. I didn't even have to think about it.

After writing down our thoughts, we had to hand them over and they were read out to the group.

Yay, chalk one up for me... When it came to my fear, Kush wrote, Marcus's biggest fear is revealing his inner self. Her answer astonished me. I always considered myself an open book. I didn't keep secrets or hide anything.

Melody decided to dig deeper and asked, "Why do you think Kushla wrote that, Marcus?"

I shrugged; I certainly wasn't discussing this in front of these tree huggers.

Melody, unsatisfied asked again, "Come on Marcus, surely you have some ideas? You can't be that naïve."

I replied with a curt, "Sorry, no clue."

She turned to Kush and asked her to explain herself. Kush peeked at me before replying, "Marcus keeps everything inside, he never reveals anything of his feeling, even to me. What you have seen here is not an act, this is the real Marcus. He is so repressed emotionally, and so scared about what people think he just locks everything away."

Melody sighed. "Is that true, Marcus?"

Irritated and disappointed that Kush said that in front of everyone, I grumbled, "No."

Melody gave me a frustrated glare. "Well, why do you think Kushla feels that way?"

I glanced around the room and there was silence as everybody focused on us. I just shrugged and Kush grumbled, "See, that's what I mean. He is like this every time I try to talk to him about important issues."

Melody gave her a comforting hug before tackling some of the others. The other couples fell into deep discussions with Melody. What surprised me was why they weren't embarrassed. Jeez, I was embarrassed for them. Nobody wants their shit aired in public. I wanted to say stop, but they seemed into it and Kush leaned forward absorbing everything said. She hung off every word.

Once the session was finished, Melody got the wives to sit on the mats, we husbands had to sit behind them and gently rub and massage their bodies. We weren't allowed to touch boobs or anything.

I started rubbing her back and her soft purr encouraged me, so I moved to her shoulders, then her arms.

She wriggled a little when I got back to her shoulders and neck. I was getting into it when Melody knelt beside me. She grabbed my hands and said softly, "Use your thumbs, gently at first, work the muscles and push with your thumbs, not too hard. Be gentle, Kushla will let you know if you are too hard."

I followed her instructions, my thumbs rolling up her spine, kneading and rubbing as my fingers worked on the flesh of her back and then neck.

Kush really cooed as I worked my thumbs around her neck. Melody whispered, "You are very good at this, you have a gentle touch, don't be afraid to press a little harder."

As Melody walked off to help one of the other couples, Kush whispered, "God that feels so nice, you missed your calling."

It was nice to hear her voice without the hard judgmental edge she used earlier. Thinking about what she said brought back some of the frustration and I guess I pressed to hard, she grumbled, "Ouch, shit babe, that hurt, be gentle."

Yep, there it was again: the moaning, nitpicking, quibbling. It seemed lately that's all I heard from her, this is wrong, you work too long, you need to be home earlier, what... you're not going golfing with your buddies again, are you? Don't you like spending time with me and the girls? Yep, lately all I heard from her was cranky, bitchy complaining. It was driving me nuts. Then she booked this fucking thing, and it just aggravated the shit out of me.

Melody finished up by posing a question of the group. We had to write down what our partner would do if they won the lottery.... I knew the answer right away. We had talked about it so many times. When I glanced at Kush, she had a huge smile painted on her face and it bugged me, so just to play with her head I wrote down a bogus answer. When Melody went around the group, it surprised me how many of the couples didn't know... When she asked Kush, she, of course, nailed it.

When I nodded to Melody that she had got it right Kush clapped her hands loudly. But when Melody asked for my response and I gave it to her, Kush's face dropped and she gave me a confused angry glare, "Why did you write that down?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Sorry, first thing that popped into my head."

Melody gave me a look that said she knew I was fucking around so she didn't even question me. As we went back to our room, Kush snapped, "Why are you trying to sabotage this? We have talked about that so often... don't you care enough to try?"

As I slid the key into the lock, I snarled, "Oh fuck off, Kush, this is bullshit. Who fucking cares if I know what you want to do if you win the lottery? God damn it, it's none of their damn business, anyway, and what would it prove if I got it right?"

She pushed past me into the room and hissed venomously, "It would prove you listen... that's what."

She flopped in the chair and gripped the arms. "I don't think you know how close I am to walking out and going home," she snarled.

"Yeah, well let's not fuck around, let's pack up and hit the road, because I have to tell you, Kush, this place is fucked, this is the worst god damned idea you have ever had. I hate all this plastic feel good crap. It's all fucking make believe, just so they can sell these fucking weekends to unsuspecting fucking morons."

She just glared at me, the anger building, and I could see the levels rising. She was about to burst, but just as I expected her outburst to explode, she sucked in a deep breath before she sighed, "So that's it, I am a moron for wanting to save our marriage."

I sat down on the other big soft armchair and glared back at her, "Stop being so god dammed melodramatic. I wasn't calling you a moron. What I'm trying to say is these people make you believe there's problems when in reality there's nothing wrong. Just think about it; I bet you read about this place in one of those women's magazines you read. They make you feel inferior, like there's something wrong just so you buy into their shit."

Shaking her head and wiping away the little tears from the corners of her big almond eyes, she sniffled, "If that's what you really think then we are really in trouble. I hate the fact you won't talk about feelings and emotions. We have so many problems and you just wipe your hands of them as if they don't exist; well let me tell you buster, we are in trouble."

I was feeling attacked. This was the first time she had ever said that she thought we had that many problems. I felt sure that it was because she brought into their psychobabble. They manufactured the problems; it was the only way they got any business.

Kush stood up and grumbled, "I'm going to have a shower before dinner."

I leaned back and put my feet up on the low coffee table and closed my eyes, "What a fucking nightmare, not even a god damned television, nothing, and they piped in this cosmic jingle jangly elevator music. The place sounded like wind chimes and panpipes.

When Kush emerged, I decided I would follow suit and have a shower. I took my time, at least in the shower I didn't have to listen to either Kush or the freaking music...

When I walked out with one of the big towels to dry off, the first thing I noticed was Kush was gone. The room was empty. Her bags were still here, she had changed, because the clothes she wore today lay in a heap by the bed.

I pulled on some clean clothes and wandered down to the dining room. There was Kush sitting with a bunch of the women deep in discussion. When she saw me walk in, I saw all of them give me a collective dagger stare.

I walked to the bar and got a bourbon. I needed something to take the edge off. I tried talking to the barman, but he was as bad as the others, obviously selected for his beliefs rather than his ability. A good barman should be able to hold a conversation... I walked off after I gulped down my drink and got a refill.

The men were gathered together in a group and I noticed none would hold my gaze. I was apparently the topic of conversation everywhere.

I decided on a walk outside; at least the gardens were nice, and it was a pleasant evening.

Later when the dinner gong went, I wandered back in, grabbed a plate of food and found a table by myself. Melody saw me sitting by myself and came over to sit with me.

As we picked away at the food, she breathed quietly, "You know, Marcus, I have seen a lot of marriages destroyed by stupidity. I have talked to Kushla a lot, and whether you like it or not, your marriage is sitting on a knife's edge right now."

"Yeah, well if it is, it's because of all the shit you've been selling her," I snorted derisively.

She replied caustically, "You don't have to like me, Marcus, in fact, you are a belligerent smart ass, and I don't really care for you either, but here goes. If you can't even put aside your petty beliefs for one moment, you are going to end up divorced."

"Like I said, Melody, if we do it will be your fault for filling her head with all this shit."

"Would it hurt you to at least try? Just put your prejudiced preconceptions aside for a day and participate, try to open your mind."

I shook my head, "You know you people irritate the shit out of me you know that... You make up all this shit, you publicize it and convince people into believing they're unhappy. People like Kushla listen to everything you say, and before you know it, we have cities full of unhappy dissatisfied people."

Before she could answer, I charged on, "It's people like you that generate all this dissatisfaction, and you think you're so god damned clever, so superior, you think you know it all. Anything to make a fucking buck."

She gathered her plate and stood quickly before leaning over, "You're a fool, Marcus, that girl loves you. She said this was her last hope, and if she couldn't get you to open up, she was going to file for divorce."

She was just about to walk away, but she turned, remarking, "I did have some hopes for you, but after that first session I knew I was wasting my time. You're a real he-man aren't you, a smart ass who thinks they know it all. You know the divorce courts are full of idiots like you."

With a shake of her head, she leaned down and whispered, "I bet you're thinking all she needs is a good fuck, aren't you?"

She turned and walked away before I could answer. All I thought was, 'That's not fucking likely now, is it?"

After dinner, a DJ started playing in the corner as staff cleared away most of the tables, turning the dining area into a dance floor.

Straight away, several of the couples started dancing. As I glanced across at Kushla she was immersed in talking to her little clique. I went to the bar for a refill. Leaning on the bar, I watched as one of the other husbands went over and invited Kush to dance.

She slipped out onto the dance floor with him and they glided around. I didn't even know she knew how... We usually went to clubs that played decent music, not this crappy old stuff.

As I watched, I was surprised by one of the more attractive women. She patted me on the arm, "Would you like to dance?"

I nodded, "Yeah if they ever play something decent, I would love to."

She smirked, "You don't have to be embarrassed; I can show you how, it's easy."

"Nah, this shits not for me... maybe later they will play something real and we could get down."

She shook her head. "You are missing out, there's nothing better than to have a sexy dance partner hold you close and to feel their body snuggled in nice and close. Feel their breath on your neck." She grinned. "It's divine, Kushla seems to be enjoying it."

I sneered, "What happened, did you draw the short straw?"

She nodded. "Yes, I did unfortunately." With that, she turned and walked back to the group.

Fuck that shit. I got another drink and walked back outside. I heard some giggling and laughter coming from the hot tub area. One of the couples, at least, had evidently decided to make the most of the fact the rest of the group were inside.

I took a quick peek, unseen by the offenders, I watched as they made love; she sat in his lap and bounced slowly up and down sexily, her arms tight around her husband's neck.

Typical, they were having all the fun, exactly what I wanted to be doing. As I wandered back to the bar, I noticed Kushla was out on the dance floor with one of the other husbands, who was apparently a skilled dancer. He guided Kush around like an expert.

Throwing back my drink, I decided to go back to the room. I stopped at the main counter on the way, asking if there was anyway to turn off the music because it kept me awake. The girl smiled sweetly and flicked a switch or something under the counter.

When I walked into our room the first thing that caught my attention was the silence. The awful elevator music was gone. I undressed and climbed into bed; there was nothing else to do in this shit hole.

I fell asleep quickly, probably due to the tension of the last couple of days.

I must have gone out like a light, because it was the sun shining in through the window that woke me. Kush was in bed, but she was curled up right over on her edge of the bed.

I climbed out, showered and changed. Kush and I had argued as hard as most couples, but sheesh, all couples go through it. In our short marriage we had never argued like this. I felt bemused, overwhelmed by the strength of her disappointment and exasperation.

I couldn't help but wonder if Melody had it right, or whether she was instilling her own dislike of me into Kush.

When I walked back into the bedroom, I was sure Kush was feigning sleep. She had always been an early riser.

I got changed and headed out for breakfast, I let her have her pretend sleep and made my way into the dining room. Melody and the staff were there having their breakfast before the others arrived. I got my cereal and found a table off to the side.

I was sipping my coffee when Melody patted me on the shoulder. "Do you mind if I sit with you and we try again?"

I signalled for her to sit and she nodded, "Did you and Kushla talk at all last night?"

I grumbled, "None of your business, Melody, you're responsible for this situation, you and your touchy-feely bullshit."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Marcus. You may not know, but I talked with Kushla a long time before she booked this weekend, and I can tell you, she has been harbouring these emotions for a long time. She is very unhappy in your marriage. She feels let down by your lack of commitment."

"Lack of... Jesus H. Christ, I work ten hours a day. I have given my all to it. You assholes fill women's heads with all this new age shit. You need to take responsibility for giving them unrealistic expectations."

"What is unrealistic about expecting your partner to be open, and to share emotions, listen to the concerns of your partner... tell me Marcus, why is that unrealistic?"

"It's unrealistic because we have to work, to live in the real world, do house maintenance, car maintenance, try and fit in family, helping parents. We, and by that, I mean men... you know the breed you hate so much; we are permitted to have a life as well."

She sniggered. "I don't hate men. I will be honest, I dislike you, but that is only because you are making fun of everything I am trying to achieve. Every other member of your group, and that includes men, are trying. They realize there are issues and are trying to learn ways to make their marriages better."

She gritted her teeth. "But you, all you do is mock and make fun of everybody's efforts. You might find it hard to believe, but these workshops are effective. We have managed to help many couples find their way and repair their partnerships."