There and Back Again Ch. 187

Larus just stared at me for a moment, so I rushed anxiously to fill the silence. "You don't have to answer, it's just that as a Magister, you'd have power and influence and—"

His eye roll went epic, even as a frown marred his handsome face. "First of all, I am not a Magister." He huffed. "You southerners...The Magisterium is a group of powerful mages chosen to make the rules of society in Tevinter, similar in a way to your Landsmeet, but not tied to land ownership. I am not a member of the Magisterium. My father is, so my family has power, but personally I have very little - only what my father grants me. Similar, say, to what the children of Teyrn Fergus will have." I winced at that, thinking of poor Oren - but of course, Larus wouldn't have known about that.

"In the future, I could have worked to make a name for myself and become a Magister, had I wished, but it takes years of hard work. The youngest self-made Magister was in his fifties. Alternatively, I could wait until my father died and take his seat, though the Magisterium would still have to vote to accept me, and my sister might fight me for it. But until then, I was entirely at my father's mercy. Unable to work to make my own coin without bringing shame to the family, my behaviour monitored by my parents and enforced by cutting me off if I displeased him, subject to an arranged marriage to some vacuous socialite with good 'bloodlines'.

"Yes, my life in Tevinter was comfortable. I was educated, fed, clothed, and encouraged to use my magic however I pleased. But I'd never have been able to marry an elf or even openly take one as a lover, and in fact my father wouldn't even consider giving me ownership of Arathea once he realised I favoured her. I couldn't protect her. She would be left vulnerable to the men who worked for my father or any of his disgusting house guests, since he certainly didn't care if she was raped - 'Larus, how can you rape a slave?' I can just hear him now."

He shook his head. "I imagine you all were raised using the Magisters as the monsters under your bed - 'behave or the Magisters will get you,' and all that. And I don't blame you - many of the Magisters are as corrupt and morally repugnant as you assume. Blood magic, slave sacrifice, orgies and mind control...Selection bias, of course; the more perverse you are, the more you crave the power to protect yourself from those who would try to stop you.

"But not everyone from Tevinter are born monsters, you know. Some of us are just healers who'd like to help people and marry the most beautiful woman in Thedas, regardless of the shape of her ears or the ownership on her slave papers."

He laughed bitterly. I stared at him, open-mouthed in shock. It had never occurred to me that someone who had grown up there would be as repulsed by Tevinter as I was.

I swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry." He waved me off, but I persisted. "No, listen. I'm glad I asked, because I don't really know much about how things work in Tevinter, and I made assumptions based on my incorrect understanding. Thank you for telling me. And I'm sorry that you and Arathea were treated like that. I hope you'll find things better for you in Ferelden. Mages aren't really free here, not like you're used to, but at least slavery isn't a thing - and there are those of us trying to improve things for mages, for elves, for anyone who's oppressed. It's not perfect, but we're trying."

He examined my face briefly, and then nodded and excused himself to go. "When do we leave for Soldier's Peak?"

"The day after tomorrow," Alistair replied. "Let's talk in the morning about what things you and Arathea will need before we leave. There's not a lot of shopping between here and the Keep."

Larus left, and I turned to Alistair anxiously. "Well, I really stepped in it."

Alistair smiled fondly and cupped my cheek. "And yet you ended up better than where you started. As usual." He kissed me, and after a few minutes of that we stumbled up to our room before we were tempted to take it further in the middle of the library.