by LeoCharmer
I have to agree with the others. Is she African American or Israelite? Please make a connection with the characters. This story has potential. And who is the non-human? I almost stopped reading this. Please get an editor.
Did he know her from a past life, is that why the origin questions. Look foward to more.
It was good but try and describe things better like just general sound and feel so it makes the reader feel more like they are in the story there with the characters but all in all a good start
this was all over the place with the sound check then in the pisser then back again. needs to be cleaned up and what does her being jewish have to do with anything?