by mikevegas
Liked it...but it seems to me that this story could have been in any category. It would have have been better if written from 1st person view point.
Can't disagree with the other two. Reading a story in second person is really annoying. And i mean <i>really</i> annoying. Write in first or second person. You're liable to get more hits and better reviews.
I would have rated your story higher if you had not written it in the "second person."
I gave you 100 because although I think your story would be better in the "first person," spelling and grammer were pretty good.