All Comments on 'Thin Red Lines - For Anonymous'

Your hubris was off-putting, to say the least.

This is not a mutual admiration society. I'm sure you knew full well that most comments would be from non-author, anonymous readers before you published your story here. I'm also sure that you don't have to be a chef to know slop when you eat it.

Amateur, btw, just means that you don't get paid for it - not that it is necessarily poorly written.

Good stroke story. Keep writing this shit.

this was great.... for a laugh.... but for erotica I still enjoyed the original.... thanks, for both.... lol.

And now it's time for you to get back to your own storyline.

The first two chapters were a slow build-up and building the character base, so all that is left is pulling it all together.

I wish you well and hope to see your third chapter soon.

Rich.

Forget this story line & continue with your interpretation which is a lot better. I hope you post chapter 3 of your own story soon.

relax. write for yourself and those who enjoy your work. if they don't like it they can always go elsewhere.

Had a great laugh! Bravo.

you ended it before his daughter and her gf each had triplets, who he fucked when they reached puberty, then they became preggers, then he fucked them in their turn, etc thus founding an entire incest nation which then went on to rule the universe

j/k ;o) lol

...That you let some Anons get you that worked up. As another commenter has said, this site isn't some magical land of nice people. Some people will disagree with what you like, some may be dicks about it.

It's just pathetic though if you lash out at them like this and write this crap, since you're just giving them what they want. If you do this every time someone with a different opinion to you complains, I pity your life. You're posting in the public domain material which almost requires feedback to improve, and then bitching about it when someone states their differing opinion. Grow some actual backbone and quit with the hubris crap, learn to receive feedback, good or bad, well.

Great work.

But please continue on your original work.

Top work. Clearly all the other anonymousers don't get it (in any sense).

as I read this, glad I read the first two offerings first so I had reference points to chuckle at.Take it the 18 yr old 18 second wonders yanked your chain not knowing the wonders of pleasing a woman rather then just getting ones rocks off.

Hilarious! I have been on the receiving end from Anonymous myself but fair play on your reply! Obviously not being Anonymous myself I FAR preferred the originals of the story but this was grin making material in the context it was written. Bravo!

This story looks like it was just throen together to get something out. I read the first two chapters of this and I really liked them. Don't let some 'Anonymous' person tell you how to re-write a story. If they really wanted to help they would have sent you feedback with an e-mail address. I really hope you come out with the real chapter three of this series.

Great come back to all those anonymous bastards who blast writers for creating their own versions of their own stories! Lazy, inconsiderate and just plain stupid people selfish enough not to understand that authors should be encouraged, not flamed in anonymous tirades. I laughed all the way through. Congratulations!

I don't know what everyone's problems are with anon posters here. If you don't like reading anon comments, the fucking disable comments. Or petition Lit to not allow it in comments. Otherwise, all you cry babies shut the fuck up.... especially the "anon" who called anons, bastards. Fuck you, prick.

...and I didn't like it. The first thing I did when I started reading was checked out the comments to your other 2 chapters. Any anon comments I saw contained reasonable criticism. I think your story should all be contained in one chapter. Single page stories should be reserved for hack stroke stories, like this one, and not a build up for a larger narative. Your suggestion that I need to have submitted stories to Lit to be worthy to criticise you is entirely patronising (I might not be a chef, but I know bad food when I taste it) and if you simply don't want to be criticised then don't read the comments and continue to make the same mistakes you have been making. I'm sure fans of your work will be delighted to see that you've wasted both your own time and their time writing this sarcastic rubbish. In short; if you want to successfully write like a 'real man' then try taking criticism like an adult.

I am not the Anonymous who asked you to write this version. Toss this out and go back to the original two part story. It is much better written.

...and I must say, well played!

It sucked the first time and the rewrite sucks even more.

Mr. Anony Mous

i read the first two submissions when they were originally posted and enjoyed them. i enjoyed this just as well, but for very different reasons. don't let the criticism get you down.............take what's constructive and leave the rest. though, i would suggest that you've found a new genre to explore.........humor & satire.

... Anonymous is really Charlie Sheen and won't be happy until it is written entirely his way. Kudos and props out to you for a rewrite to satisfy even the simplest of minds.

Mark

This was the crappiest of crap... Wow.. what a waste of time

What would you pricks (that includes readers) do if you didn't have the Anonymous to whine about. Pathetic lot.

I share the sentiment of your critique and response to the anonymous trolls that lurk in the shadows. If only they put the same effort in to writing their own stories that they put into criticizing other's hard work...

You are my hero!

What a waste of time, the first version was much better!!!!!!!!!

If you write any more please post a "SHIT WARNING" first!!!!!!!

csmsmith..kiss it also.

Nice rebuttal to anonymous,but you should know that everyone is a critic,and assholes so take their criticism lightly. Your previous story was great!

Very sick.

Personally I like the idiotic Anonymous who didn't understand sarcasm and told you your first attempt was better.

Ignore idiots, all the best stories have slow build ups.

I'm not the anonymous that criticized your first version. Its too bad you wasted your time proving a point and mocking him. I really enjoyed your writing and was left wanting more, the build up was fantastic and i'm looking forward to you continuing the original. I was left wanting more and will wait until the entire story is done so i can enjoy more than just the build up.

But this became unreadable after 2 paragraphs. Proving your point wasn't worth your effort or anyone elses time that read this.

you sounded like anonymous. Go back to your style of writing and continue your original story

I am not one of the anonymous you were responding too, I just don't log in enough to remember my info.

First I love the other two stories. Their is a lot of variety on the site so I won't say it is exactly what I would like but it is well written (in my opinion at least) and I enjoyed reading them both. There is enough content on this site that I often stop reading stories and move to the next so I see that as a positive statement.

Second, I am sorry that some of the "critics" got under your skin. There are many members here who seem to spend a lot of time as suggestive "editors" instead. My advice would be to decide if you really want a sounding board. If so, choose the most useful non-anonymous comments and approach them with questions. If the correspondence is not easy and productive then thank them and move on to the next candidate. I am sure there are many potential friendly mentors and cohorts on here.

Third, and most importantly, I truly hope this does not slow down the third actual installment. I look forward to it.

Have a great day and thanks for the stories.

Great short story and the sarcasm was exquisite. When written seriously this is the kind of story I avoid. In my mind erotic stories should include background, emotional investment of the participants, slow build and climax. That said, your short story was excellent humor and I got a good laugh from it. Keep up the good work and keep writing the way YOU want.

I liked the original Red Lines much more and would have liked that finished and not this one here.

You know, the events in this story happened to me in real life. Thank you for capturing the real-life experiences of so many of us anonymous-ish folks.

Thanks for all your writing. Best wishes!