Third Leg

"I was wondering if I could ask you something." He says.

"Um, sure?" I say.

I have a feeling he probably wasn't waiting in the dining room to ask me about my script paper, but I have no idea what he'd want to talk to me alone about. Maybe it does have something to do with last night, I don't know. I have no idea what to expect from this.

"So," he asks, "I'm not really sure how to put this, but... you're into Alina, right?"

Despite my complete void of expectations, I was totally unprepared for that.

"What?" I ask.

"I mean, are you attracted to her? Would you say you have a crush on her?"

"Um..." That's all I've got right now.

He gives me a look that seems... uncertain, I guess? Maybe nervous? He looks younger somehow, almost boyish, and I can almost believe that if I stand here in silence, he'll crack first, and brush the whole thing off, or at least explain himself, or something.

But he doesn't, and I find myself forced to break the drawn-out pause.

"I don't know, I guess! Why are you even asking!?"

I can't help raising my voice a bit. I have no idea how I'm supposed to deal with a question like that, or why he'd even want to know.

"Sorry," He says. "Alina and I talked about this way back. She thought you'd say no, so she was never going to ask. That was a yes, right?"

"Um. I guess it was a yes, yeah." The thought of simple outright denial occurred to me too late.

He lets out a deep breath, and his expression resolves into something like relief.

"Okay, good. I mean..." he trails off and gives me an apologetic look. "Sorry for springing this on you suddenly. But she'll definitely be glad to hear."

"You're going to tell her?" I ask.

"Is that okay with you? I mean, she already knows I was going to ask. I could say you said no?"

He looks genuinely distraught at the thought of hiding it from her. I have no idea how anything good is supposed to come of this, but still, there's a point I can't just put aside.

"You seriously think she'd be happy to hear that?" I ask.

"Definitely." He says. "Look, I'll go get her."

He stands up and walks towards Alina's room, turning around once to offer me a smile.

"Don't worry." He tells me.

That doesn't sound like something I'd usually expect someone to say if there was nothing to worry about, and I'm very much out of my depth here. Still, the way he says it feels genuinely reassuring. Maybe it's because we were talking about something weirdly intimate all of a sudden, but he seems somehow less intimidating to talk to than yesterday. Even despite- or surely not because of? That reminder last night of what his and Alina's relationship is like.

After a minute or so, Jason returns with Alina in tow. She looks more nervous than I've ever seen her before, not that I've ever known her to have much reason to be nervous. The look she gives me as she sits down is unquestionably shy, and I can feel my heart pounding, definitely not just from anxiety.

"So," Jason begins as he sits down next to her. "I was right."

"Oh my god." I can see the blush rising across Alina's face. "You just asked her, straight out like that?"

Jason prods her shoulder, giving her a playful look.

"I was pretty fucking sure." He says.

"So, uh, what is this actually about?" I ask. "I mean, I'm really flattered, but, um..."

I trail off. There's a lot to 'um' about here. Not just that Alina never once brought this up in the months we've spent living together, but that she's also sitting right next to Jason, who seems pretty much impossible to trade up from as a boyfriend, and who's apparently egging her on to spill her feelings for her own roommate.

Alina opens her mouth as if to speak, then stops, and shoots Jason a pleading look. He shakes his head at her.

"The whole point was for you to tell her, right?" He says.

"Right, okay." She sighs. "So, you know I was brought up in a really religious family, right?"

"Yeah." I answer. She doesn't seem to like talking about it much, but the wholesome impression she gives off is apparently very much homegrown.

"So," she says, "the way I was brought up, I was taught that homosexuality was a sin. But anything that's a sin is supposed to be a choice. Nobody really talked about same-sex attraction when I was growing up."

"So, uh..." she hesitates with an awkwardly bashful look, "It wasn't until I was seventeen that I actually got that everyone doesn't go both ways. Until then, I kind of thought it was something some people were brought up being allowed to talk about or experiment with, and I wasn't."

"I didn't start actually dating until I got to college, and it was a huge relief by then to not have someone watching over my shoulder, enforcing all the values I grew up with." She continues. "But I never really picked up how to spot when other girls were also into girls. And I've still never told another girl I liked that I was into her before. So, I wanted to tell you. Instead of just sitting on it forever."

"Um, wow." I've got all the eloquence right now. I'm still not sure what to make of this, and I pause for a moment, sorting through it in my head.

"So, I should probably say before anything else that I'm super flattered, and I definitely like you too. Am attracted to you, have a crush on you. But I don't know where we go with that. I mean, you have..." I trail off, my memories of last night intruding on how to put what she has with Jason.

"...A really good relationship." I conclude. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to fit into that."

"I mean, that's totally up to you." Alina says. "It's not like I've planned anything specific, a big part of me was never really expecting to get this far in the first place."

"But," she continues "I'm not that invested in the idea of a relationship being one man and one woman? Or, I dunno..." she casts around for something to follow that up. "You like Jason too, right? If that matters. I can pick up that much."

After the whole underwear model thing, I'm not going to bother asking if it's that obvious. He's probably known from day one.

"I guess you're probably used to this sort of thing?" I ask him. It's easy to believe that Jason's had a colorful romantic and sex life already.

"Oh, god no." He says. "I'm completely playing this by ear. I already told Alina I'm fine trying out anything she's comfortable with, but this is all new ground to me."

"Uh huh." A thought strikes me. "Did you two want to talk to me about this yesterday? When you were making tarts? And I bailed to work on my paper?"

Alina gives me a sheepish look. I can see a faint tinge of pink against her cheeks.

"Kind of?" She says. "I wasn't a hundred percent sure I'd have the stomach to bring it up, but probably, yeah."

Well, now I'm thoroughly abashed.

"Shit, I'm sorry." I tell her. "I've been kind of ghosting around all the time when Jason's been here. But I'm completely free now if you want to talk about, you know, everything relating to this."

"Do you think you could do a dinner date?" Jason asks. "I've got some work I need to take care of today, and I don't want to have to bail partway."

"Yeah, I'm free all day." I say.

Even if I hadn't gotten all my work out of the way yesterday, I'd probably say the same thing. Trying to keep up small talk with the two of them while making tarts yesterday used up pretty much all my personal interaction energy for the day, but now, I feel charged and invigorated. I'm fully in the focus of their attention, and I feel like I could spend the whole day like this.

"That sounds great" Alina says. "But not at a restaurant or anything, okay? I'd rather keep this here. You know, it's not all stuff I feel like I could say in public."

She's unmistakably blushing, it makes my heart pound just to look.

"That sounds great. I can be back about seven-ish?" Jason says.

The fact that I actually don't want to see him go, and am already looking forward to him coming back again, is practically giving me whiplash after yesterday. But I actually do want him here, and not just because all three of us need to be here for this. Maybe it's the shock of imagined disaster failing to materialize, but for the first time, I'm starting to feel like I could actually talk to him by himself as well.

"Okay, I'll be looking forward to it." I say. Jason looks at me and gives me a warm smile- smiles back at me, and I realize this is the first time I've spoken to him without trying to control my expression.

Jason sets off just a little bit later- apparently he wasn't expecting me to stay in my room until nearly noon, leaving me behind with Alina. We have brunch together, and, putting any discussion of where we're going from here on hold, we talk about the past, experiences from college we'd never shared before. Her first time meeting other people who actually talked openly about sex. Her first time asking a guy out (something I've still never done myself.) The experience of having sex with someone she didn't expect to spend the rest of her life with. On my end, I open up a bit about my teen indulgences in smutty fanfiction, and how it compares (very colorfully) to my real-life experiences.

Unlike me, Alina doesn't have the whole day open, and eventually heads over to campus, leaving me with the run of the house and nothing to do with myself. I feel charged with energy, too much to focus myself on anything useful. I want it to be evening already, so much that I toy with the idea of sleeping until then, although in my current state of mind that's simply impossible. Instead, I flit about the internet and lose myself in fantasies. Mulling over why I'm so excited by the idea of- what, a relationship discussion? With Alina and Jason- I settle on an answer. I simply can't think of anything they might offer that I would turn down. Things I want for myself, things I might even get to ask for, race through my mind, from cuddles on the couch up through being sandwiched between them. I dwell a while on thoughts of that last one, summoning up in my head the memories of the sounds from last night. As evening starts to approach, I try to convince myself to cool my head a bit, and head out for a walk. I return with a bottle of wine.

Jason and Alina arrive together, not long behind me. Alina starts preparing dinner, taking over the kitchen at her own insistence. While she's busy, Jason and I finally manage to strike up the sort of conversation Alina imagined us having all along, and when she comes into the dining room, she catches me in the middle of a joke about Chinese memes. Jason laughs, and Alina's face lights up as if she's just watched me pull off a magic trick.

"What did that mean?" She asks.

"Oh, it's a joke that got started on a Chinese gaming message board" I tell her. "A cultural translation would be something like 'go home dad, you're drunk.'"

"Speaking of," I gesture to the bottle of wine on the table, "We're already home now, so if anyone wants to be..."

"I think I will, thanks!" Alina says, and carries the bottle back into the kitchen to uncork it. When she comes back out, she's carrying a serving plate along with three wineglasses. She fills her own as she sits down.

"So, what were you talking about?" She asks.

"Oh, I was just telling Jason about my exchange year in China." I say.

She grins. "Did you tell him the green oil story?"

"Oh my god, I can't believe I told you that one." I say.

"You should tell him." She says. "You feel way closer to people after you share something embarrassing. Also-" she takes a swig from her glass "I'll be sure to follow it up."

"Okay, but I'll be needing some of that too." I say.

A glass lasts me through the story, wherein I ended up spending half a week in China without any underwear. Alina was right, it works.

"Honestly, I'm jealous" Jason says. "I don't have any good sexy-embarrassing stories, just regular embarrassing."

"It's not like I share that one around at parties!" I say. "You're better off that way, my life isn't improved by all the embarrassment. Even your regular embarrassing stories probably aren't that embarrassing."

"Oh, you are so wrong." He says. "My first birthday in middle school, my parents threw a party and invited a whole bunch of kids they thought were my friends. I was so nervous I barely talked all day, and I wouldn't eat any of the cake because I thought I'd throw up."

"You're joking." I say. Child-Jason being left speechless in front of anyone just doesn't fit my mental image of him.

"I'm not. All through high school I was the nerdy half-Asian guy who never talked to anyone. I could do the embarrassing stories party all day."

Alina laughs and rests her head on his shoulder.

"She thinks you're soooo handsome, everyone can't help falling for you."

She shifts closer to him, and right in front of me, lightly bites down on the side of his neck.

Seeing that sends a flush of heat down my body, more like vodka than wine.

"Oh my god Alina, what kind of a lightweight are you?" I ask.

"Two drinks is nothing." She says. "I own everything I say right now. I've just had enough in my life already of keeping all my feelings secret and sitting on everything."

She looks at us and giggles, then squeezes Jason's arm and plants a kiss on his cheek.

"Well, there's some things I don't mind sitting on." She says.

This is a side of Alina I haven't seen before, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't imagined it.

"So what's your embarrassing story?" I ask.

"Oh right, I owe you one too." She says.

Alina gets up from her chair, leans over close to me, and then kisses me on the lips. She claps her hand to my cheek and runs her fingers along my skin, her touch sending shivers down my body. I can't help myself, I slip my tongue into her mouth, and she lets out a surprised squeak as she invites it inside, her fingers tightening against me. After a few seconds, she pulls back, wide eyed, and turns to Jason.

"Oh my god, you were right! You were so right." She says.

She turns back to me, grinning. "My embarrassing story is that I thought about doing that literally day one when we first met."

Jason swats her lightly from behind.

"I call foul," he says. "Wanting to kiss a pretty girl doesn't count as an embarrassing story. You still owe us both."

"Fine, that's fair." She says. "While I'm thinking though, you should try Jason too." She tugs on his sleeve.

He moves towards me without hesitation, and my stomach flutters with something very different from the usual sense of intimidation.

"Is that okay?" I ask.

"Unless you don't want to." Jason says. "We've both talked about it a lot."

"Oh, she wants to." Alina says, and nudges him in the back.

A part of me wants to reflexively deny it, but instead, I just nod. As he bends down and locks lips with me, that part of me is expelled from the proceedings entirely. He grasps the back of my neck as his tongue winds its way into my mouth, throttling my worries that he might just be following along with Alina's lead.

"Wow." Alina's voice comes out as half a gasp. "Does that count for my embarrassing confession? That I'm super into that? The idea of you two also being into each other... that's always really turned me on."

I'm torn about whether to give credit to that revelation, or try to push her to share even more. I'm barely more than a glass of wine in, but feeling unquestionably intoxicated. A sudden thought strikes me, and I voice it without hesitation.

"Was that what last night was about?" I ask? "Was I supposed to hear that?"

"Oh my god!" Alina claps her hands over her face. Between her fingers, I can see a roaring blush spreading across her cheeks. "Oh my god, oh my god..."

"Uh, no." Jason looks sheepish. "That... wasn't on purpose."

"I'm sorry!" Alina only half-uncovers her face as she apologizes to me. "I thought you were out late last night! I had no idea you were there for that! Oh my god..." She trails off breathlessly.

"It's fine, seriously." I assure her. "I mean, I might have ended up feeling really guilty if we didn't have this talk later, but I was thinking maybe you guys did it in anticipation or something."

"Oh, god no, I would never." She says. "I wasn't even expecting you to actually be..." She waves her hand around vaguely.

"Yeah, well, I am" I say.

Alina peeks out between her hands again, a look of hope dawning across her face.

"Did you enjoy it?" She asks.

In spite of myself, my voice comes out choked and quiet. "Oh god, yes."

She goes silent for a while, rocking in her seat, a huge grin visible between her fingers. Eventually she lowers her hands into her lap, fiddling with the hem of her shorts.

"Would you like to join in?" She asks.

I couldn't say if I had a feeling this was headed in that direction, or if that was just hopefulness on my part.

"Would that be okay?" I ask.

"Yes!" She practically shouts her response.

"We've definitely talked about that." Jason says.

"Um, wow. I've definitely thought about it, and I probably wasn't going to say anything ever." I say.

"Well, the takeaway I'm getting is, to hell with not saying things." Alina says. "I was afraid of telling Jason how I felt about you, but now it feels like one of the best choices I've made."

"What about you?" I ask Jason. "Are you into watching the two of us make out then?"

"Nah, Alina's the one with the whole voyeuristic bent." He says. "I'm the one who wants to treat your butt like a squeezy toy."

"That... is something I'd definitely be okay with." I tell him.

The meal winds down as it becomes clear we're discussing immediate, not future prospects. I don't have the appetite to finish, and I don't feel guilty about it. Despite having prepared it herself Alina's lost all interest in her own food, her attention flitting between me and Jason. She kisses me again and again, her tongue inside my mouth giving me shivers, but her hands never stray below my shoulders. The tease becomes almost painful, and I take the lead again, easing my hands down, caressing her breasts. They're smaller than mine, barely filling my own small hands, but I can feel the stiffness of her nipples through her top. Her shoulders twitch when I first run my fingers over them, and she lets out a whine into my mouth. Just as I'd hoped, she follows suit, her touch hesitant at first, but quickly finding her pace, stroking and kneading me with an eagerness that has me twisting and writhing under her hands.

"Oh my god..." Alina lets out a breathless whisper as she draws back, her wide eyes fixed on my face. "Jason, look at her..."

Jason comes up behind her, leaning and resting his chin along her shoulder, staring down at me. He gives me a teasing smile as he wraps his arms around Alina under her shoulders, his hands caressing her stomach, easing towards her belt. She lets out a soft gasp, and he tightens his grip on her, then hoists her into the air. For a moment, she's out of reach, but as he settles her against his chest, she reaches out a hand and grasps my shoulder again. With just one arm under her body supporting her, Jason wraps his other arm around me, pulling me close, trapping me in a kiss where Alina takes control of my mouth while he softly sucks at the side of my neck. A shock of pleasure plunges down my body; I've never felt a kiss anything like this. No, does this even qualify as a kiss anymore? I can feel myself shuddering against them, trapped in their embrace.

After who-knows-how-long, Jason releases his grip on me. He raises his hand to Alina's, still wrapped around my shoulder, and eases her hand off of me. He guides her wrist down, bringing her fingers to the waist of my shorts. An expression of shock crosses her face, and she looks to me for reassurance. I don't have any words to offer her right now; I only nod. Slowly, she pushes her hand down past my waistband, her fingers fluttering teasingly against my skin. When she reaches my slit, her gasp is louder than mine.