All Comments on 'Thirst'

that was great

Great story! Maybe send it to an editor, though. There were some gramatical and continuity errors. Fun read!

You have a good story here, but it does need some editing. You also have some time era miscalculations. You have a vampire that was turned in the Victorian Era, but has been dead for a millenia, that would put you somewhere around 2800 a.d. Like I said, you have a great story line, but just a couple things need work. Other wise good job, and I'll be looking forward to your next story!

I thought despite the grammarical errors, it was a good story. I wanted to keep reading. Fantastic job.

Hi, thanks to all who have and will comment. I was wondering, as there have been some comments with the gramma of this story, could someone point me in the direction of a few? Just so I can improve and not make the same mistake again.

Really enjoyed the interactions. Really a fun read. Thanks

I'm a sucker for true love. Get it? Ha ha. Anyhow, fantastic mix of hard fucking, erotica, and the happy ending made it great. Happy.. ending. Oh, I slay me!

But seriously, 5/5 in spite of the grammatical and timeline errors. Great all around story!

I'm not usually a fan of vampire stuff, as mainstream media has ruined it for most people, but after getting past all of the context stuff it was actually pretty awesome.

That's really the only thing I didn't like, the info-dump at the beginning. After that, it was fantastic. Sure, there was a hiccup here and there, but nobody's perfect. However, there are some of us that come pretty damn close to perfection, and I believe this is an acceptable example.

You start out by saying Richard is 1000ish years old, then saying he's Victorian. It would really help if you clear that up. If he's Victorian, that's 1800s. If he's 1000, that's Medieval. Either time period seriously effects what kind of vampire he really is. I didn't get past the first page.

Your misuse of words hurts my brain and I had to stop reading... I was so board lmao

I'm a sucker for vampires and the guy I love is named Richard. Perfect.

The sex was crap. Brilliant up until it. But the sex was absolute garbage.

Honestly, your first person parts were not that bad. I've definitely seen worse. If you focus on your grammar and basically use spell check before you post, I think you'd have a fair shot at getting published. Just saying.

I wonder how well you understand history? The Victorian period was late 19th Century (ie 1800s) to early 20th Century. Unless the the story is set in the future, there is no way that an educated person from that era would talk about centuries.

In medieval times, books were expensive things because they had to be hand written so it is unlikely that a poor person from a millennium ago would be able to read. It was the invention of the printing press in *around* the 15th Century that democratised reading. Even then, that didn’t extend to those who practiced manual trades (was still unusual but there would be one who could read things to his colleagues) until later.

A big push in that direction came when the coffee shop was introduced to England in the 1700s (a traveller brought the concept back from Turkey).

I put this timeline together just from things I heard on the radio/in podcasts and saw on TV.

I couldn’t get past the first page because of the errors in history.

A decent Vampire story, though I don't read them much. I found it plausible and read the entire story.

Outstanding! I will read this again. An editor would help, I had the feeling the original was in a different language or translated incorrectly. Some words which sound alike but have different meanings were found. For instance, leaving her "bear" should have been leaving her bare. Loved this and will read more of your stories! Thank you.