All Comments on 'Three Kisses, One Past'

he did a good thing and just walked away and it seems by her actions she didn't really get past it cause she cant stop demeaning other people even now.

I thought this was going somewhere it didn't...and enjoyed it all the more for that.

Good job!

I stayed with it all the way through, and was very glad I did.

Thanks, ohio

I have a little different take on the story than what has been posted. First though, it is very well written, with lots of emotion and character development, well done for sure.

However, I think Jack took the easy way out in walking away from Christine. I would like to have seen him try to make her see the negative side of her, that underneath her beauty, there was still ugliness. She needs to break with her past friends to really change and he could have helped her with that, but instead chose to walk away from a person who needed more help than she had been given by her uncle and in Montana. Perhaps this story was written as a parable, that beauty is only skin deep, but that proposition ignores the fact that with help, beauty can come from within as well as from what we see on the exterior.

This story could well be extended with Jack having second thoughts and the two getting back together to talk about what prompted him to walk away from her. Then she has a decision to make, to really address her past, her demons. And of course, Jack will have to address his demons. Does he defeat them by running away, or facing them head on?

I enjoyed the story especially since it left me wishing I could see if both characters would grow more. Both characters still exhibit so much immaturity of youth. What would happen if they gained more life experience so they really could move pass their past? Right now, neither character would be successful in a relationship whether with others or between themselves.

Sydney (apologies, I forget the rest of the name) has an excellent germ of an idea. A sequel could easily be written along the lines that Sydney urges. To ask that of our protagonist right then would be too much for credulity, and untrue to the character. Please do consider writing that story. It need not have a happy ending, anymore than this one did.

I also think that the comment of this being a parable is quite astute. A sequel would not diminish the validity of that observation, but the sequel could perhaps then be a parable of true redemption.

It is fascinating to find this work here. There is a bit of erotica in the story (enough to scandalize the televangelist crowd) but certainly not something that would stir someone's juices. Instead, it is, to use the trite phrase "integral to the story", and done cleverly so as to provoke a bit of anticipation of a more traditional (in this genre) romp, and then, quite reasonably, simply advancing the story.

My most sincere compliments to the author. The characters, settings, plot, narrative and dialogue are all done extremely well, with no serendipitous gimmicks. Our protagonist's developing realization is handled very well, and would be quite tricky to do, given that this is in the form of a memoir. You nonetheless feel the changes in the situation as he does. The poignancy is nicely under-played, which makes it all the more affecting.

This work should be disseminated to a wider audience. With minimal editing, I could see it in an anthology for young adults.

I agree with Sydney43, GreenMountains and Mick1953. An excellent standalone story. But it begs for a sequel. It has a perfect platform to develop and polish the characters even more and take the story where ever you want it to go and/or end. I think the comment about both of them having relationships at this point, either with each other or with others, is very perceptive.

Good luck in the future. And I would enjoy being your editor for it.

azsam

Good start, skips around a little much, that clueless growing up in the Hood not believable for a supposedly smart person. Now are You going to finish what You started or do I add You to a growing list of can't or won't finish a story writers.

the past formed them and never really leaves, rather something that is factored in to

what we become. I can see why hers and her friends could maintain discomfort and carry over ... and best to leave such things behind.

The story is complete! Not every tale needs to come to some nice, tight conclusion. It's good to see an author who can bring fiction into fairly close sync with life which goes on.....

They say the best kind of reader feedback is when the readers see things about the work that the author didn't, and such is definitely the case here! I had no intention of writing a sequel, but now I think perhaps I should. (I admit I already was wondering what Jack's mother would come to think of the situation when she's in touch with both of them.) The matter of both of them continuing to grow up and cope with their past is not something I had been conscious of, but I do see your point on that.

I currently have a backlog of half a dozen or so unfinished stories, plus I'm job-hunting, so a sequel might take a while to emerge...but I'll give it a try. Looking forward to more feedback, if anyone has more suggestions!

Describe this story in one word it would be "brilliant"

I loved every word.

I think that she has been rehabilitated

those traces of the past seemingly were suppressed, subject to being released

periodically, and the desire lacking to ever deal with chris again sealed the deal

for him.

and a forget-me-not.....then or now, TK U MLJ LV NV

As a target of bullying in my own high school days, I found this story very poingant. I would love to see a sequel for no other reason that he gets the woman who deserves him. As far as the Story goes, very well done. With maybe a hiccup or to with some small grammer, it did not detract from the story.

It was a very true to heart portrayal of how a bully makes you feel & how, even YEARS later those feelings can still bubble up and get you. I DO think Christine was TRYING to be a better person but it takes A LOT of work; and hanging out with old buddies wasn't a good choice. I LOVE that Jack had the intestinal fortitude to be honest and stand his ground with her!!! That was WONDERFUL!!

A good read, thanks!!!

There were a couple places where things were repeated, but I am glad he didnt go through with it. Im glad he saw that the old Chris was still there under it all. And I agree I would like to see a sequel where he finds a woman who deserves him. Well done, bravo.

A very powerful story, brilliantly plotted and masterfully written. You foreshadowed the climax clearly, but I still couldn't quite believe it. And then it was over and I realized I'd been breathing very shallowly ever since the hot tub scene, and it was a relief to take a deep breath again.

That took a lot out of me! It was wonderful and yet sort of eerie as you took me through the taunting and bullying of schoolkids. It's going to be a relief to pet my dog and let him lick me to show me his unconditional love.

Really, you did a job on me with that story. If you ever doubt your ability to weave an aura with words, just pull out this comment and re-read it. You are one brilliant writer!

So glad he didn't stay with her! I was so afraid he would believe her. Please keep writing!!