All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 071'

Hey All, this is my second time through the story. It's still GREAT!!

Reading it a second time highlights some of the stuff I glanced over the first time in my rush to read through it all. -johnny

😂 that pirate never saw this coming. Very funny symbolism by tefler, to have hades who is named after the greek god of death get visited unexpectedly by death.

The different perspective and the pirate crew really came to life ... you did a great job crafting their character without the repetition of words/phrases that have been abused through this epic tale. Ten stars for the storyline alone!!! Your writing is above average but it is the story that deserves 5 stars.

— the Red barreN

This chapter was highly liberating after the dull chapter of 18 pages before.

Hey there.. I picked up reading again about 15 chapters ago, picking up where I left off after having been distracted by life and other things the past year and a half or so.

Still in awe of the great character development and the vivid, detailed descriptions that make it seem as if we were there witnessing everything first hand. I guess I kind of know how Faye feels.. lol

A few things... I haven't taken the time to read every comment in this or previous chapters, so my apologies if these things have already been mentioned.

In this chapter, you mentioned for the second time (that I noticed, anyway) 'the passive sensors pulsing out'.... by that very description, the 'pulsing out' makes them ACTIVE sensors, not passive. Think of passive sensors as microphones on the outside of a submarine, just picking up sounds, natural and man made, out in the environment. The active sensors would be like Sonar, pinging out in the water so the microphones can pick out the reflected sounds to gauge distance, etc. The passive sensors have the advantage of not projecting any sounds or energy out of the vessel, so there is nothing for the enemy to detect. They don't 'pulse' anything.. they merely listen. The active sensors act like a beacon to other vessels, but of course provide a much larger amount of information back to the ship. When trying to be sneaky, you stick with passive sensors as long as you can, but once discovered or engaged, you unleash the actives to give you a more complete picture of your surroundings.

Also, I've noticed more of a general 'sloppiness' with your grammar, etc. Maybe I didn't notice it before, but I don't think so. I always appreciated how well crafted everything was, where with some of the stories on here, it seems they were written by juveniles. Your storytelling is every bit as good as previously, so it's still enjoyable reading, don't get me wrong. Perhaps you don't have the same people proofreading for you anymore?

I'm not seeing anything really egregious but just the occasional typo or entire word missing, maybe a half dozen total things each chapter. I'm going to guess that you are British, or some derivation thereof, since some of the terms and spellings you use seem to indicate that.. armour vs. armor, etc., so it could be that some of the things are more differences in British vernacular vs. American, but it almost makes me guess that those types of things are more of a colloquial slang than the proper 'Queen's English'. Now, if this is happening during character conversation, that's perfectly ok if it's done consistently, as you would expect people with diverse backgrounds and origins would likely speak with different dialects, slang, etc., such as Dana and Rachel having very different speech patterns.. lol. However, when it's done in your narration, or descriptions of scenes or events, it's just distracting, and it would seem best to keep your narrative as properly worded as possible.

That said, none of what I said is going to make me stop reading, just offering it as friendly feedback to help you improve your craft! I think one or more good proofreaders would be in order, at the very least.

Cheers!

-T-

Just fucking wow!

Tefler, wonder charater development. I enjoy every chapter but especially enjoyed this one. I look forward to the many more I have to read. I appreicate you sharing your yarn with us. Your a gifted writter and story teller.

thanks again for this series...

tony

I finished Chapter 70 and the comments around bedtime last night and thought to myself, "well, let's just take a peek at Ch. 71 before turning out the lights." Big mistake. I ended up being compelled to read the whole thing. It was so intense, it was like drinking water from a fire hose. No other chapter before this one would have done that to me, though there have been some great chapters so far.

Kudos (now, I just need to drag myself to work and make it through the day...)

I'm 52 years old and this is now my 3rd time reading your epic tale. I've been sick most of my life since age 10 and as you can imagine I've read authors from Tolkien to asimov zalzny to lackey and you my friend have created a universe equivalent if not better then some I've listed. I can see this being made into a movie or cable based show. I realize the sex science might have to be calmed down a bit but even without them this would be an amazing epic. I can't see an end in sight with so many different side stories going on and hope you keep up the amazing work.

Mike

I think Joseph Campbell would appreciate it. I know I do.

Are you implying that Schroeder’s Cat couldn’t survive in a crystal Alyssium Box!!! How sad😖!

I don’t remember which chapter but didn’t John have to turn on the audio system in the armour to hear what was going on around him?

As far as tuning the sonic weapons a laser carrier signal that monitors crystal resonance and a feedback loop to the tuning crystal should very easily find the resonant frequency of whatever is being shot af!

Wolrab🐝

Tefler's TSM links three Maliri females: Edraele (mother), Irillith, & Tashana (twin daughters). Irillith is initially mentioned in chapter 42 and Edraele in chapter 44. It appears Tashana begins being mentioned in chapters 45 and 47 in the internal memories of Edraele and Irillith. This pattern continues in chapters 48, 53, and 54. [In chapter 71, Tefler introduces Tashana under the name of Malifica.] In the last 95 words of chapter 54, John and his crew learn Irillith has a twin. Tefler begins chapter 55 with Dana saying to Irillith: "There's two of you?!"

Irillith says: "Tashana wasn't like me. She was good and kind, just immersing herself in her love of ancient things, and throwing herself into her archaeology. We were close as children, but we grew apart as we went our separate ways, following different careers. She had no interest in Maliri politics, and while I was trying to curry favour with our mother by embracing hacking and intelligence gathering, she spent her time on research ... Edraele was suddenly very interested in Tashana's research into healing powers, and now we know why ... I grew insanely jealous of this budding new relationship between my mother and sister ... I framed Tashana, setting her up to look like she had been selling House Valaden secrets to House Loraleth, our greatest rival, in exchange for access to dig sites in their territory. I did an outstanding job, and the evidence was damning. The penalty for treason to your house is death, and Tashana should have been executed immediately, which is what I'd been hoping would happen. My mother decided to commute her sentence to banishment instead, and Tashana was thrown out of Maliri Space with nothing but the clothes on her back."

In chapter 68, John speaks to loyal and traitor Terran commanders via the comm channel, and orders a cease fire. The Kratos traitorous Commodore says: "You can't be serious?!" ... "That pitiful assault cruiser is a joke, just like you!" John orders Calara to fire the nova lances. Tefler writes: When the Nova Lance beams winked out a few seconds later, they had gouged a hundred-metre-wide rift through the Kratos, cutting it in half from bow to stern. Nothing remained of the armour or superstructure they had just atomised, with just a fading trail of blue particles linking the Invictus to what was left of the Kratos. The pitiful remnants of the topdeck and underbelly rolled away, glowing a fierce orange where they were once attached to the battleship.

In chapter 69, John receives advice from Edraele prior to speaking with Fleet Admiral Buckingham and the other High Command Admirals. Her advice: If the old Edraele was in their situation, she would have stopped at nothing to acquire the upgrades in your possession. She would have used the Interdiction beacons to keep you in-system, then thrown every ship in the fleet at you to take you down. All would be considered sacrificial pawns to achieve that goal. Before she initiated an assault, she would have prepared infiltration teams to attempt an assassination, whilst simultaneously hitting you with a massive cyber assault. Every asset at her disposal, John, all of it would be used to acquire that technology. It's that much of a game changer.

Reflection:

Tefler TSM story demonstrates the power of the Maliri environment. While there are many examples of the old Edraele's orientation to politics, the example in chapter 69 is illustrative of how her use of political power resulted in Tashana's (Malifica) innocence being lost and time spent in the Wastelands. Tefler's creativity allows us to observe an example of the impact of the political environment on those without political agendas.

I've read this before but this is so well written, entirely from the viewpoint of Tashana and the witnesses from The Underworld it really shows the devastation, shock and awe that the Invictus crew have on people. It's a great counterpoint to the more personal look we usually get of the crew and their interactions. There's another chapter where they are attacking a Drakkar Warboss called Vermogrok (Ch.28) that also uses this method, showing the surprise and eventual dread of finding out how capable the team are.

I really loved the story of Tashana and her crew in this, it really seemed like a ragtag group, thrown together through adversity to try and make it in the desolate wastes. A real, pirate/high seas tale.

As I echo everyone that has already come before me in these comments. Damn such a finely written yarn of a tale. Rereading for the 2nd time (so far anyway) and still so damn good. Tefler my hats off to you....you knew where you going and still enjoyed the odd quirk or two along the way. I'm hoping you continue to write for years to come and you get the recognition you deserve. But hope you put more of these chapters into books and sell via Amazon. I've bought the 4 that are currently up there. Cheers!

Wow. Thought you were going to leave us dangling longer with the hunt for Tashana, which would have been ok, too. Having said that, the arrival of the Invictus was great fun.

What does Tashana know about the prior rulers of the "Unclaimed Wastes" and their Underworld base?

Where are the Enshunu and Achonin worlds /empires located?

If the Invictus so potent now, what happen when it upgrade?

I have been binge reading for 2 weeks now and this is the first time i am leaving a comment for this masterpiece. Great chapter as always but details about rape were quite disturbing.

So the pirate king kill off her team, then in space John arrives and kill off the fleet and suddenly both parties are in another system. You clearly need an editor.

Besides that well done

@Esbanos - You clearly need to read more carefully. Hades killed Tashana's crew at the Scorpions base knocking her out with the Enshunu rifle, and when she awakes she is back aboard The Underworld. This was clearly demonstrated by Hades talk with the Enshunu about their wait for the Vizier. Then John and crew turn up at The Underworld, where it was noted earlier that all the mercenary ships are stationed, and then all hell ensues.

This is still one of my favourite chapters.

John, his girls, and the Invictus are all quite impressive against these 2nd rate pirates... and in a few more weeks they'll be faster, stronger, and way more awesome... look out bad guys, no mercy for you! Great chapter Tef!! ;-) TTFN

Another spectacular evening reading TSM. I can always catch up on sleep later - only 80 chapters to go. ;-)

Looking back from several re-reads now, I could wish that John had chosen to Keep the Original Invictus development halted at this stage and to build a brand new Invictus (Invictus II) at the next refit, with all the new stuff standard. and have a much stronger hull and superstructure too. Time to stop being a flying eggshell, hard on the outside, but soft and squishy on the inside. He could have saved the old attack cruiser (with all of the upgrades) as a gift to Charles, as a retirement present. maybe? ;-) TTFN

Michael who care smith.

Piss off with your comments foreshadowing coming events that you’ve read three times already. Basically fuck off.

What’s a round house punch? It think he just using random words joined together. By the way they are all on the ground after being knocked down by stumpy so a big wind up or a full 360° all around swing isn’t happening. If it’s a kick it doesn’t make it a punch. Otherwise I can just say it’s a “Chop chop dobbly doop” and leave you to infer its meaning from the surrounding sentences. It’s a story after all so the writer can make up anything, right? No.

Jackspeed2u, a roundhouse punch is not a made-up writers' phrase, ... it is a real term, ... ;-) TTFN

But it is all Ilrith’s fault, Illrith has even admitted as much. So after an impressionable young teen was intentionally set adrift in the middle of murders and rapists and slavers and drug dealers and users and pirates having managed to survive for 13 years what the fuck did the goody two shoes mother sister and lion think would have happened? Really it’s a case of be the meat or be the grinder. Tashana was, over time, both the meat then the grinder. But fucked up for sure.

I really feel sorry for Tashana. Her two worst nightmares are suddenly right in front of her., a Progenitor and her backstabbing sister. We all know how this is going to end, but I'm stunned that they really think Tashana is happy to see them. And what's probably going to make it worse is her mother's presence. Can't believe even Rachel hadn't seen this coming. They're always bragging about how smart they are, right?

WOW That was fantastic so much talent, and so very scary.

Great instalment. John and Co to the rescue but for Tashana her troubles are not over. No idea where the fire came from but of more importance is her headaches which must be a manifestation of the tumour in her brain.

5⛤

So she’s psychic too and she gets the headaches. Good instalment, excellent change of pace using her pov, possibly the best I’ve read in this story so far. 5⭐️

Yeah, Irillith (along with Edraele) is to blame, all the hurt Tashana endured through 13 long years, her rapes and disfigurement, also the loss of her crew, all Irillith's fault, .... how's that for some heavy weight resting on her conscious, now that she has one, ... and another grossly wounded little bird for John to fix, and this one really fears and distrusts him, ... great chapter, well told, ... more Achonin, Enshunu, and Unclaimed Wastes, please, ... ;-) TTFN

And the thing is that Tashana is 100% correct. Tashana’s downfall, torture and slavery leading to excruciating pain rape and disfigurement is all Illrith’s fault, all of it every single bit of it.

At any time Illrith could have confessed to her betrayal and a fleet sent to rescue Tashana. However alas no, no confession of guilt before or after her damascene conversion. The moment Illrith met her mother after her conversion she could have declared her guilt but no Tashana wasn’t even on her mind then.

A simple “Oh mum I wish Tashana was here, I betrayed her all those years ago and she never deserved it. And she was right all along.” Then it would have come out that she’s still alive and….. the ball would be rolling. But nope.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"it's all her fault"

everytime the text says 'Malifica' my brain is trying to convince me that it saiys 'Metallica' and I have to read it 7 times to get rid of my confusion

Excellent story. How do I give it more than 5 stars?

It is easy to add more stars. The latest Constellation Award maximum level has been increases to a level beyond Spinal Tap.

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

From here the Constellation Award will begin to approximate the Fibonaci series.....

Thank you again, Tefler.

just one thing beside an truely great chapter; Irillith startet the banishment but did not had done or ordered the violence. It is one thing to be the contributor of betrayal but something different what happen tbrou other bad people. By the way - i love the funny pirates names of their ships. Keep it up and up - thank you for this wonderfully inspiring space-fiction

== we get Tashana's tragic story, and "it's all her fault!" ... this was a very different story POV, but it was rather riveting, well told Tef, ... very good chapter, ... poor Irillith, now that she is good, she will pay for when she wasn't so good, .... but John can cure / fix Tashana, if she'll just let a Progenitor near her, ... how is she to know that John is one of the good guys? ... irony and tragedy, how will this ever work itself out? ... do they strap Tashana down and feed her enough psychic cum to give her back her health (curing her brain tumor) and restoring her beauty? ... that would be nice, wrong, but nice, ... ;-) ttfn

You put this together so well. love it.

Twin Drama: Irillith, "I killed my sister!"... "I framed her", ... Tashana, "It's all her fault! ...sob".... ;-) ttfn

Wow, just WOW! Thank you Tef for a well-woven backstory and an incendiary revelation. It's ALL good but some chapters are just great!

Loved the POV from the other side and the quick resolution of what could have dragged!

Best chapter ever!

I think this is my favourite chapter yet. Malifica's crew I would happily have followed in a spin off, a fantastic motley crew. Tbh, more interesting than the primary crew.

I really like third party POV, this was very well done. Malifica's backstory was well crafted, eeked out through flashbacks and dialogue.

The ending sent me back to Terminator 2: Judgement Day, when Arnie's Terminator busts Sarah Connor out of psychiatric prison.

POV masterclass. 💯🔥🔥🔥🚀 Best. Chapter. Ever.

fucking awesome chapter

wooow