All Comments on 'Thunderstruck Ch. 04'

Too many times it is simply a slam, bam, thank you Mom story or the story runs so slow I just about give up.

A good writer in a certain way has to control the minds of their readers. If the information is introduced too fast you will leave the reader confused. If the information is too slow the reader becomes distracted and bored and sees the story has lost their attention. Your words have kept me interested in finding out what will happen next.

I will not attempt to put ideas in your head where the story should go next, I will let you put those ideas into my mind.......

Thank you.

Jill

q>"Things could only get better, I thought to myself as I drifted off to sleep once more."<q

better? as in dad going to leave them for Diane, his co-worker? so son has a clear field with mom and sis?

or is he going to feed sis to dad, since he is feeding dad's mind pics of hot daughter?

or will he mind spy on Diane, dad's co-worker and mistress?

It may be a bit 'wham bam' - but mind control isn't easy to write about.

Let the ol' imagination keep rolling!

Lukas

I can understand having fun with the sister, but I don't like the idea of him being intimate with his mom until Dad is out of the picture. He should have waited, and them comforted Mom after the affair became public knowledge. Also, his respect for his dad should go down. His Dad is breaking up the family by having the affair. Let Dad divorce Mom, and make sure Mom gets a good settlement. Then make Dad regret what he did for the rest of his life.

Fun story to read keep it going this adventure has a lot of life to it.

I gave the last two chapters 2 star ratings. I fund the story getting boring and struggled to keep the reading. I gave up about midway through the last chapter. I am not sure if it was the plot or writing style that I found boring but the story was just not interesting enough for me to keep reading.