Tied Up in Knotts Ch. 14

"This is why he loves you," Cam smiled. "But you're wrong. I was capable of doing this on my own and it was selfish of me to drag Penn down. He's given up so much for me over the years and when he finally found his happiness, I stole it from him."

"I'd hope you doing it alone was never an option and I'd like to think his daughter would bring him more happiness than I could—"

Cam held her hand up, interrupting me. "What the fuck did you just say?" She asked, unconcerned about cursing in front of her daughter.

"I'm just saying that his daughter should always be his priority. She should bring him joy. I would never come between that."

Cam raised her hand up like she was going to make a big speech, paused, then brought it down and covered her face. "Holy shit." She shook her head. "Penn is not her dad."

"What?" I asked.

"Penn is definitely not her dad. Her dad is, Samuel. That's where she gets the hair from. She got everything from him except her personality. Sam is every redheaded stereotype you can write. He's loud and kind of crazy. We weren't even dating when I got pregnant. I wasn't sure if I even liked him all that much."

I pressed my fingers to my temple. "I'm so confused. Abby said—" I paused. I thought back to the baby shower, the conversation I had with Abby, then the one I had with Penn. Every conversation made it seem like Penn was the dad. "Actually, I don't know what she said but I swear—"

"Penn is not the father. Penn and I haven't—" she covered Penny ears, little too late if you asked me, "had sex in almost twenty years. Even then, I'm not sure if he ever actually finished. I'm not exactly packing if you know what I mean."

I groaned. It did explain a few things like why he said he'd choose me and why he didn't understand why it was such a big deal to me. From his position, our relationship shouldn't have been impacted by the baby. It explains why he was keeping Cam's secret. It truly wasn't his to tell.

"This is good, right? You and Penn can pick up where you left off?"

"We didn't exactly leave off all that well."

"Well, how about before the baby shower? Before you came back from Thailand? He was so happy then; waiting for your return. He had a whole big plan to surprise you after the shower was over. Can we go back to that?"

"I—" I wasn't so sure. It had been almost ten months since Penn and I talked on the side of the highway. It seemed like a lifetime ago. I was happy in Portland and was hopefully going on staff soon. I wouldn't move back to Lincoln, not even for Penn.

"Will you at least reach out to Penn? No need to tell him about this coffee date because he'd murder me for sure. But you should reach out. See how things progress naturally. Maybe you could accidentally clear the misunderstanding with him. Get on the same page. Please," she pleaded. "Just see what happens."

"Yeah," I nodded slowly. "I could probably do that."

Cam smiled brightly then looked at her watch. "Shoot. Sorry to drink and run but we have to meet Sam soon. You'll reach out soon, right?"

I nodded. I would reach out even if I didn't have a clue what to say.

The whole ride home was brain chaos. I wasn't even out of the truck before I was typing out a message. I started, then erased, a dozen messages before landing on something simple.

Me: Hey

I know. I'm a real Casanova—a regular William Shakespeare of the twenty-first century. A text. A simple text. What had my life become? I was no better than the kids I yelled at for texting when they should've called. I should've called, right? Texting Penn had been a terrible idea. Before I could overthink, my phone beeped.

Knotty Penn: Hey

Well, at least we were on equal footing.

Me: Want to hear a funny story?

The bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times before his response came through.

Knotty Penn: Sure?

Me: I work at Costco

Knotty Penn: I heard. And that's funny?

Me: It's not, but I see a lot of people from back home. Today I saw Cam and Penny. Her hair is very red.

Knotty Penn: It is kind of funny I suppose

Me: No, that's not—just let me finish

Me: Cam said she looks just like her dad. I told her that you didn't have red hair...

Knotty Penn: Ok?

Knotty Penn: Oh. You thought...

Me: Yeah, I thought...

He didn't respond right away which was weird because he'd been instantaneous the whole time. I waited in the car for ten minutes with no response. Then I paced around the house. I kept checking my phone in case. Nothing. Finally, over an hour later, my phone buzzed.

Knotty Penn: For clarification...this story is funny because there was a misunderstanding which led to you refusing to talk things through? Which would've cleared it up but instead you moved away? Sorry, just trying to figure out the punch line.

His response broke my heart but I couldn't blame him for responding the way he did. I knew how much he liked me and for how long he'd harbored those feelings. He made that clear. As much as I wished things would've been clearer at the shower, they hadn't been. Everything I saw and everything I heard painted a picture, as clear as the sky was blue, that Penn was going to have a child Cam.

The last ten months had been great for me. I was healthier than I had been in a long time. I was happy and healing. I'd even say I was ready to move forward. But I don't think those same ten months had been as good to Penn. I was pretty sure he was broken and I didn't know how to move forward. There was a good chance the damage done was too great.

I wondered if reaching out to Penn had been a mistake. Should I just leave him alone? Should I press forward?