Tied Up in Knotts Ch. 19

I woke up because my bladder was about to explode. I'd been so busy with Nash last night that...well, going to pee hadn't been a priority. When I tried to get out of bed, I was stopped by a set of strong arms and a deep groan of disapproval.

"I really have to pee," I said. Nash's arms only held tighter as he burrowed into my back. As much as I wanted to relieve myself, Nash refusing to let go was better. "I'll be right back. I promise."

Nash let go and I hurried to the bathroom. I didn't even wash my hands for thirty seconds when I was done but I did manage a super quick brushing of my teeth.

"Oh jeez, you're freezing," Nash complained when I got back in bed but used his legs to warm mine. Then he rolled on top of me and used his whole body.

He took the blankets and tucked them around us, smiling at his handy work. God, he was gorgeous. Truly, there wasn't a man on the planet more attractive than him. And the way he looked as he tried to bundle us up, with his crazy blond hair all messed up and sleep wrinkles on his face. I was done for. I'd always been done for when it came to him.

When he had us good and burritoed, he hiked my legs up so he was pressed against me in all the right spots. "We're going to the store today, right?' he asked as he gently rocked himself against me, reminding me why we wanted to get to the store. As if I'd forgotten.

"Yes, first thing."

Nash bit his lip and smiled. My dick twitched. He smiled brighter. My dick twitched again. God, he was absolutely-out-of-this-world-insanely hot.

"It doesn't have to be the first thing. It can be the second thing."

I thought I knew what he was implying but when I pulled him against me so we could frot a little, he shook his head all sexy-like and pulled away. "I meant breakfast."

"That can be the second thing."

Nash leaned down and kissed me. "Breakfast first, then store, then—" you know...

"Or...This first, breakfast second, store third, then—" you know...

"It will be better if we hold off until later."

But then he kissed me and I was sure that he changed his mind about breakfast being first until Nash lifted himself up.

"Let's go to breakfast."

I groaned like a child. "I don't want to."

"The sooner we eat breakfast, the sooner we can go to the store, and the sooner we go to the store, the sooner we—"

I pushed Nash off me and was out of the bed so quickly I could hear Nash laughing as I jumped in the shower. When I got done, he was still lying in bed, beautifully naked.

"Up," I snapped my fingers at him. "Time for breakfast." I grabbed his bag off the floor and threw it at him, making him laugh at my impatience.

I didn't care. I was a warm-blooded man who'd been promised sex with Nash Cushman and I'd do whatever it took to make that happen.

I was actually a little offended that he was being so casual about it. I mean, I was offended but not surprised. I knew I'd have to work on coming to terms with the fact that Nash would never desire me the way I desired him. It wouldn't be an easy task, even thinking about how unfair it was, was souring my perfect morning. Nash was still in bed, smiling, which was cute, except he was still in bed. He had not jumped out of bed and rushed to get ready as I had.

"Really?" I asked, my irritation building.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said, and I wanted to leave it at that but I didn't want to go the petty route. "I have to come to terms with the fact that I will always want you more than you want me. And it sucks."

Nash sat up. "What are you talking about?"

"I embarrassed myself by how fast I got ready so we could go run the errand and you're still in bed."

Nash let out a deep breath and rolled his eyes. "What would you have me do?" he asked, then flipped the blanket back, revealing a very, very hard erection. "Did you want me to get in the shower with you? Watch you get all wet and soapy? Then watch you dry off and get dressed? Then what? Go out and stand in front of your family like this? Because the Lord in heaven knows that doing those things wouldn't make this go away."

Okay, so maybe he wanted me a little bit.

"Whatever," I mumbled, trying not to turn red out of sheer embarrassment/joy. "Then get to it. I won't bother you."

"Oh nooo," Nash got out of bed and went straight to the door. "We should go eat breakfast right now. No time to shower or get dressed. Then we can go to the store and come straight back."

"What are you doing?" I laughed as he opened the door. I rushed forward and pushed the door closed. "You're naked."

"I know, but we gotta go, now." Nash tried to open the door but I held firm. "Excuse me," he scoffed. "I'd like to go get condoms so I can have sex with this guy I really want." Nash leaned against the wall and looked at my brow, quietly asking if I was done being childish.

"Just go get dressed," I said, rolling my eyes for good measure.

Nash sauntered off, mumbling under his breath about how annoying men are. He grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom. A few minutes later he came out with wet hair, still mumbling his annoyances.

I went and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry."

He leaned back and cupped my face. "You have nothing to apologize for. That insecurity comes from a raw and real place. You have every reason to feel that way. I'm just glad you told me because I want to know what I'm up against. And when I'm done dating the shit out of you, I want you to feel like we're on mutual ground."

"I want that, too."

"And you will." Nash stepped back and held out his elbow. "For now, I'd like to ask you to accompany me to a light breakfast...if you know what I mean. Maybe some fruit or a little oatmeal. Then we could excuse ourselves and go for a drive. Maybe while we're out and about, we can run an errand."

"Then what?"

Nash pulled me close, "Then we can finally enjoy this shitty weather."

****

Nash pushed me down the hallway, pressing himself against my back and laughing as we went. He was still hard and was doing a damn good job of making sure I knew it. Just before we rounded the corner into the kitchen, he shoved me. I stumbled into the kitchen where I caught everyone's attention.

And I do mean everyone.

Abby, Jane, Tia, and Jane's friend Mandy were in the kitchen packing stuff into tote bags. Cam and Sam were sitting at the nook feeding Penny. The twenty and under crew were at the big table eating. My brothers were outside with Rob and Lon cleaning up debris from the storm.

Nash came up beside me and looked around. "What is everyone doing awake?"

I had no clue. It was still early, before eight. No one was usually up at this time. Nash and I usually had the kitchen to ourselves. Jane saw us first and looked relieved like we'd been holding everyone up.

"I was just about to come get you guys."

"Why?" I asked. "What's going on?"

"We're going out," she smiled. "We woke up to find the storm had passed so we're loading everyone up and getting out of the house for the day."

"I cannot wait," Abby added. Not everyone had been thrilled to be trapped inside. "You guys should change. It's going to be hot today."

Nash and I had both worn pants and were holding our sweatshirts over our crotches.

"Do we have to go?" Nash whispered so only I could hear.

"Grab some food and I'll check."

****

My brothers stopped what they were doing and came to me the second I stepped onto the patio. They pulled me over to a few pool chairs that had been cleaned off and sat down. They looked like they had a lot to be proud about.

Logan started, "We know the last few days haven't been great so we decided to make up for it."

"We talked a lot last night and we're going to change how we treat you. It's killing us that we've done what we've done and it's led you to feel the way you do," Ryan said.

"We can't change the past but we can change the future."

"And that starts today."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"We planned a whole thing," Logan smiled. "The whole day we're going to do things you love to do."

"We're going to start with a round of golf. It will be a little mushy because of the rains but we'll make it fun."

"Then we're going to go snorkeling." Logan smirked, "We were going to go to the lava fields but we know you already did that." Ryan and Logan made weird, ogling faces, making me laugh.

Ryan recovered and continued to list the agenda. "We found a bomb place for lunch."

I looked at Ryan like the idiot he was. "Don't say bomb, you're too old."

"Don't say bomb, you're too old," Ryan whined. "We go out of our way to make this awesome day for you and this is how you treat me? Rude."

"You kind of deserved it," Logan said in my defense.

"I also found a bomb place for dinner," Ryan continued. Logan and I looked at each other and laughed. "And then we're ending the night on a boat we chartered to watch the sunset."

They looked at me, waiting for my response. I sighed. "You guys are doing it again."

Logan looked shocked. "What are you talking about?"

"You decided what was best for me without consulting me. You overstepped."

They looked at each other and groaned. "That wasn't what we were trying to do," Logan defended. "We were going to spend the day inside anyway. We were just trying to do something nice."

"You two talked about it before deciding. Why couldn't I have been part of that?," I asked. "For the record, you can do something nice for people and ask their opinion before doing it."

"C'mon," Ryan begged. "This whole day is for you."

"I already had plans today."

"Like?"

"The plans are mine and their validity isn't decided by you two."

They shared a silent conversation, at the end, they were both resigned to their fates.

"Okay," Logan said. "We should've talked to you first and now we will suffer our punishment. We hope you have a good day. That's all we wanted to begin with."

They were genuinely bummed but I could also tell they were also being sincere. I had every right to leave my family to their devices while Nash and I snuck off but I appreciated their effort almost as much as I appreciated them admitting their mistake and not pushing me to go along with them anyway.

"What time are we leaving?" I asked. Both Ryan and Logan eyed me suspiciously, then smiled.

"Seriously?"

I nodded, "I shouldn't, but I appreciate you not pressing me. So yeah, I'll come with you guys."

They smiled and fist-bumped each other. Ryan looked relieved. "We're going to have a good day. I promise. And if you want to do something, let us know. The most important thing is that we have a good day together. As brothers."

"And we won't do anything to push you and Nash together," Logan said, looking at Ryan in a way that told me I should be worried Ryan might have something planned.

Ryan punched Logan in the arm. "I told you I wasn't going to do anything."

"Oh yeah? You just booked a sunset cruise because you thought the three of us might like it?"

"Everyone will be there," he defended.

"Sure."

Ryan glared at Logan for calling him out.

"Don't do anything," I said. "Let us happen naturally. I'm begging you."

"I'm not," he said. When both Logan and I looked at him disbelieving, he threw his hands up. "I swear."

****

I walked back to the kitchen and joined Nash. Cam had finished feeding Penny while I was outside and Nash had taken their place at the nook. Nash had a plate of fruit and a small bowl of yogurt and granola for the both of us. I smiled. A light breakfast.

"Did you get us out of it?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, they planned this whole day. I think it's their apology and I didn't have the heart to tell them no."

Nash set his spoon down and crossed his arms on the table. "I won't be upset because you want to spend the day with your brothers, repairing what happened. I'm glad they're doing this. I want you to have a good day."

"I was already going to have a good day," I said, barely looking at him in the eyes as I did. Sometimes I had all the confidence in the world when it came to Nash but mostly, I was a lost chicken. Not the alpha everyone claimed I was.

Nash leaned back and smiled. "We'll be out and about. If we can squeeze in a quick errand, you can still have a good night."

****

Running that damn errand proved more difficult than panning for gold in the Rockies. By fate we ended up stopping at a corner pharmacy minutes after leaving the house. I thought, yes, this is perfect. Except Cam was the one who had requested the stop and asked if I'd watch Penny. I made eyes at Nash and he knew what he needed to do.

When he came back out, he shook his head. The kids followed him around like a rockstar and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake them long enough to get what we needed.

From there we split up. Half of us went golfing and the other half went shopping. Nash and I were in the golfing half only we ended up in different four tops. I was with my brothers and Rob while Nash was with Lon, Kayde, and JJ. Sam rounded out the last team with a few more of the younger boys.

I was irritated when Nash and I got separated on the golf course. I was glad to be spending the day with my brothers, especially now that they were on their best behavior, but more than that, I wanted to be next to Nash. It was more irritating that Nash seemed to take it in stride. He gave me a look that told me not to worry and to enjoy the day. If my brothers noticed my irritability, they never let on. Of course, Nash noticed it because he caught me watching him more than I was watching my team.

I think he thought it was funny, how much I was watching him. I thought it was irritating. I was annoyed at myself for getting caught up in him so quickly. I couldn't help myself. Everything about him drew me in. The way he interacted with my family, the kids, in particular, was everything. Kayde and JJ wouldn't leave him alone. I understood it. Nash made them feel relevant in a way other adults didn't.

When we finished golfing, we went to meet up with everyone else. We parked near the shopping center. That's when I saw another store that I could get condoms and lube. I looked back at Nash motioned with my eyes. He smiled.

"I'm going to run into the store. I'll meet up in a minute," I announced as we got out of the van. No one seemed to look twice at me even though I felt as if a giant spotlight was on me. It wasn't until Nash said he'd join me that the plan went to shit.

I glared at Nash as we walked down the street.

"What?" He asked as if he didn't know that the six juniors trailing us because they wanted to be wherever Nash was, were putting a damper on our errand.

"Just keep them on the other side of the store."

Nash nodded and turned around so he was walking backward. He raised his hands as he addressed his following. "Who wants to stock up on some candy?" he asked, making the kids whoop. "Perfect, follow me!"

They followed him to the far side of the store and I gave them a second before I started speed-walking toward the sign that indicated personal care -- aisle seven.

"Whoa, slow down."

I startled at Kayde's voice on my tail. I turned to see him trying to keep pace. I really hadn't realized what a hurry I was in. "Why aren't you with everyone else?"

Kayde Shrugged. "I'm not really a candy guy plus I have football when we get back. It's not worth it."

"Still figured you'd rather hang out with them. From the sound of it, you're missing out."

"I'm good," he said as he followed me. "I'd rather hang out with you. What are you getting anyway?"

I wasn't sure anymore. I sure as shit wasn't going to buy lube and condoms with my minor nephew. The aisle was right in front of me, I could see the stuff lining the shelf. Even though I couldn't get it right then, I hadn't given up hope that I could somehow make it work. Maybe I could just bore him into leaving.

"Deodorant."

Kayde seemed unphased as we went one aisle over. I stood in front of all the deodorants and read each one, took the cap off so I could smell one, put them back, grabbed another one, smelled it, then another, then another.

"What's the difference between deodorant and antiperspirant?" he asked, uncapping one and smelling it just like I was doing.

"One is for smell and one is for moisture."

"Seriously?" he looked impressed. "I need one for moisture. I look like Mom but sweat like Dad."

I laughed because it was true. Ten minutes later we both had a new stick—deodorant for me, antiperspirant for Kayde. I could see Nash's group was at the checkout and figured time was running out.

"Looks like everyone is headed out. You can join them. I'm just going to cruise the aisles a little more."

"Nah, I'll wait."

Of course he would. I walked the aisles. I went down aisle seven because I was a glutton for punishment. So many condoms, so much lube. But I'd be taking none of it home. Eventually, Kayde and I made our way out.

I didn't even need to shake my head at Nash, he knew Kayde had been with me the whole time. He did laugh when he saw that we came out with pit sticks.

"We got the same kind," Kayde announced as if anyone cared. "Old Spice except it doesn't smell like Grandpa and it has a werewolf on in." He then howled, the rest of the group joining in. Nash clapped his hands and laughed when I looked at the deodorant in shock. I hadn't even noticed.

As we walked to the shopping center, Kayde told everyone the difference between deodorant and antiperspirant. Nash held back and walked beside me. "Don't worry, we'll get what we need."

"When?" I asked. "By the time we're done with the sunset cruise or whatever my brothers planned, everything will be closed."

Nash just laughed and bumped my side. We caught up with everyone else and ended up shopping for about an hour before we left for the next adventure. We'd snorkeled a few times and it never got old but sharing the experience with Nash made it great. Unlike golfing, we got to spend the entire time together. I don't know if it was the storm that had passed through or the fact that I was actually enjoying myself, but the water seemed more alive than ever before. We were there for hours and it seemed every passing minute brought something new.

Nash, of course, was a natural in the water and took the whole thing to a new level. I watched him as he took charge and led everyone on an underwater adventure and wondered how I could possibly deserve someone like him. Despite my lingering insecurities and reservations, I wanted to make it work.

After snorkeling and before dinner, we had a little time to waste so everyone split off. The kids wanted to follow Nash but he, in a way that was firm but so gracious and kind, told them to fuck off. That's not what he said but I knew it's what he meant.

"We have one hour to run our errand with no interruptions," he said. "The only problem is, we don't have a car."

We used Google and found a Target. We both agreed there was a good chance we'd run into someone there so we kept looking. There wasn't much but we did find a Costco and Nash assured me they had what we needed, plus, he'd get a discount. We started walking.

"Wolf deodorant, huh?"

I groaned. "I had no clue. I just thought it smelled good."

Nash brushed against me, his fingers lingering on mine. I didn't get the impression he was thinking about holding my hand, simply letting me know he was there.

"I think the whole alpha thing is sexy."

I looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah." He was so casual about it like we were just walking and talking about who won the last Open. "I think I'd like getting manhandled—having someone take what's theirs."

"You think?"

Nash shrugged. "Lee was not dominant like that. He might've been the aggressor sometimes, but he wasn't an alpha and he definitely wasn't strong enough to toss me around."