Timely Arrival

I got upstairs and poured myself a stiff drink, pounding it right down my throat. I was nervous, twitchy. I had to find my future grandfather and introduce them, hopefully at dinner that night if possible. I listened to a Bing Crosby record when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I replied.

"Hey Jim, it's Ed," my PI.

"Ed! What's the good word?" I said, slightly relieved.

"None, no dice," he replied.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I mean the guy doesn't exist," he replied. "I checked all the records and there's no one by that name that's a match, except you."

My head was spinning. This didn't make any sense! He should be here! Based on when they were married, they should've met around now! He had to be here!

Unless...

Shit...

Now, what may be obvious to anyone reading this, wasn't to me. It never occurred to me, but I realized that it must be the truth.

Somehow, I was my own grandfather...

That's when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to see Rose, dressed to the nines and smiling.

"Ready?"

Postscript-Jim

Well the rest of the story, you can probably guess. Rose and I married and had my father, who I raised with all the love I could. He's only about seven as I write this and quite frankly, I hope he never reads it. I started going to church more, hoping in the end to save my soul from damnation, but I don't know if I'll ever be truly healed.

All I can say is that I love Rose and my son with all my heart, and I pray that I won't be judged too harshly for all this either in this life or the next.

Rose, if you ever see this, know that I loved you with all my heart and that I'm sorry if I hurt you. I loved you as my grandmother and as my wife. If you are ashamed of me, please don't take it out on my younger self. He loves and cherishes you, just as I do, and will need you.

Son, know that I love you and know you will be a great father to me. Take the bit of wisdom I was able to pass on and show me how I can be better. If you see this and not your mother, share with her what you wish, I trust your judgement. Just know how much I love you, Son and Dad.

Postscript-Rose

As I am writing this, I know the angels are soon to reunite me with my Jim. It's been almost 20 years since we lost him, and my heart cries for him every day. I found this story about ten years after he died. At first, I thought my husband was just pulling my leg, one last gag before the grave, but the more our grandson grew up, I knew it was all true.

I hope Jim knows that I never blamed him or would've been angry with him. I hope he knew how wonderful my life was with him and how I tried to make him happy every second of our lives together. He was a wonderful husband and father and no matter how large his fame got, he always made time for us.

When I first read Jim's note, I was stunned, thinking it impossible, but the more Jim grew, I knew it had to be true. There he was, my husband, and I could do nothing. All I could do was nurture him and guide him and hope he turned into the man I'd always loved.

I made the decision not to share this with our son, not wanting things to go differently and prevent me from having my Jim. I'm leaving this for the future so someone will know the love that once existed. If it seems implausible or impossible to you, I leave you to your own conclusions.

I hope that Jim and I are reunited when I go. How I can embrace him and tell him how much I love him, and I forgive him, and we have no more shame or worry ever again. Please God, if you're there, let that happen. Let me have my Jim back, where there will be nothing but our love surrounding us.

I hope it happens.

I know it will...

THE END