All Comments on 'Timmy Stiles Ch. 07'

Too bad you stop delivering more stories.

Too bad you stop delivering more stories.

It could have been a great story – even in the genre you selected (in fact it all sounds more like BDSM, or to be most accurate S/M), which I confess that S/M isn’t at the top of my preference list… But none of that should have been in the way of the story being very strong, for the simple reason that those sexual preference are part of human nature, at least with some humans, and it’s up to the creative talent of the author to make those experiences part of a compelling story. BTW, you were doing very well up to the point when you either got bored with the story so far or who knows what you had in mind. That is the point when Ronnie turns into the dark side and jumps or something. Suddenly we are in the middle of another story –somewhat reminiscent of Polanski’s horror film “Rosemarie’s baby”.

The whole story is losing its core with seemingly endless additional characters showing and disappearing -never to show up again, with more and more inconsistencies and unresolved plot threads camouflaged as an ironic view about a whole city (or is it the humanity) with no God (or goodness). Nothing like a good preaching to cleanse the guilty conscience of those who might have just enjoyed the sexual blood bath in the dark side. Please… <P>

In more prosaic terms, it was more like a literary overbite which turned and spanned out of control. Looking back, you put together two, essentially unrelated (except in name and physical proximity) stories. One (the one I could have given top rating for, had you tied to finish it) with no finished middle and no end about Timmy Ronnie and their families. The other story goes into dark side, reads like a horror nightmare and sends the story as a whole to the dumps. Like I said, it reminds me of Polanski's "Rosmarie's baby", only I am afraid only very few can pull this genius walk between the worlds of nightmare and reality – never allowing the crowd to quite know where exactly you are. No offense meant, because you are talented (as evidenced by your other stories) but you did not ‘pull a Polanski’ here. When you decide to kill another single black woman who supposedly was trying to raise her daughter so that she could have better life... Frankly, it just felt ridiculous and outrageous. <P>

Have more ideas of this nature? I suggest that you put them it in the Horror section. But in truth, I was mostly miffed about the fact that you killed a darn good story of yours after a few chapters for the equivalent of a dark version of Dorothy and the bad witch of the west only here The Witch cuts the throat (literally) of a single mom ‘Dorothy’...are we all having fun yet?? Geeez…

After all what festering piece of trash filled to the brim with STDs and HIV should consider medically treating basically well patients? Nah, his future is as a black ho pimp!

with all his glory, not intact. TK U MLJ LV NV

such sloppy writing and editing. what is this story about, anyway?