by Mistress_sub
As soon as you feel the need to label a pov it hints at inability to phrase a story such that the reader can clearly tell what's going on.
Also stories that are told or retold through multiple povs are tedious at best and confusing at worst.
I didn't get past the first line "bla bla's P.O.V."
Anonymous comments should be banned.
I have had another chapter submitted or awhile now I am unsure what is taking so long for it to be approved this chapter took around 4 days.
There better be 2 or 3 more chapters coming soon, because you left 2 (seemingly) unrelated story lines hanging in mid-air! Not a bad start, though, just don't leave us hanging on the cliff too long...
I found the POV changes disorienting, but I suppose it because they just jump right into the scene like a movie. Truthfully I only read maybe 2/3 of it I skimmed the rest.
It feels like your weaving lots of threads for a first story, I hope you know what your doing. Good luck (3/5)