To Have A Sweetheart - David Ch. 00

A lengthy intro to the relationship of David and Luke. For those of you with less patience or care into character build up, jump straight to page three or even wait until Chapter one pops up. This story is not meant to be an erotic tale, but rather a story of sweet romance starting to build between two sweethearts.

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Luke, his name is Luke. An army captain who lived in the hotel I worked in every time he's not deployed or in base. I had seen him drinking in my bar for two years now. I hadn't even dared to talk to him more than his drink orders. He's tall and bulky, making me look like a skinny teenager next to him. Bright blonde and silver eyed with sunkissed skin. His eyes were always sad and it melted my soul every time, and his cute downturned eye shape didn't help it. He had a ring on his finger, he often played with it uncomfortably, but he wouldn't be married. He wouldn't be staying there if he would have been, wouldn't he? Maybe widowed? Divorced?

The two years he'd been often picked up by Johns wife Kathrine. She's always in a suit, navy usually, and always had a duffle bag with her when she met up with him. She never said anything when she came to get him, just tapped him on the shoulder and walked off with Luke following her, to his room was what I believed. The only time I didn't see his eyes sad was if he happened to come down for a drink after that, then he looked, I don't know, relieved, relaxed?

But it didn't make sense that they'd be having an affair or at least I guess it wouldn't be considered an affair considering them two. John and I had been lovers a year or so ago and yes Kath knew about me, they both enjoy having lovers, although they mostly shared them.

Even considering that, it didn't really make me feel alright about "the affair" and broke it off soon, even though he was a spectacular lover and treated me wonderfully. He helped me through quite a few hard days at the time, like my first solo concert or some things from my past that I still really don't want to talk about. He was just so... charmingly emphatic and god, how precious and safe he made me feel with him.

We broke on friendly terms and agreed to go back to being just acquaintances, him never being a tiny bit more intimate with me than a regular customer at the bar. Honestly I have to admit that I fell in love with him, but I knew that was just a tiny part of him and I could never love who he fully was.

Once I saw John pick up Luke at the same time Kathrine usually did - always the day he got back around afternoon. He had the same duffel bag with him that she always did. John caught the look of hurt in my face that day - hurt that I had no right to, it wasn't like I'd ever even talked to Luke. He shook his head to me as they headed out, but I couldn't pick out whether he was hinting that I had no right to be hurt or if he was saying that there was nothing going on with them.

I didn't even know why I'd reacted like that. I'd seen Luke walk away with Kath multiple times, but seeing him with John got to me. Maybe because I hadn't dared to hope that Luke was into men and seeing him walk away John, who could literally make anyone fall in love with him, made me realise that I'd been pathetically shy.

Or that John had once told me about Kath, how she was a crazy over achiever, doing mostly restaurant managing and business development, but was a therapist and something else on the side. I'd hoped Luke was doing some sort of therapy with her, but John, John was a chef, just a chef, so it couldn't be that. Unless he was covering for her, but therapy didn't really work like that, did it?

One night when I hadn't seen Luke for months and I assumed he was away in deployment they both were at the bar again and I fought hard to build up the courage to ask them about Luke, but I couldn't decide which one to ask or both of them. All options seemed weird, asking John, my ex-lover, if his wife, and possibly he, were sleeping with a man I have developed an interest in? Asking Kathrine, the wife of my ex-lover, if she's bedding with a man I was curious for? Going up to the both of them? Not to mention that maybe Luke had already moved on with his life, he could be anywhere, doing anything.

I finally decided on asking Kathrine when John went to the bathroom. "Sorry, I know it's none of my business, but... uhm, you and Luke? You aren't lovers are you?" and cursed myself immediately as logic caught up with me over my months of pondering over them. Like it would matter if they were. Damn it. I needed to know if he was single, if he had any interest in men, if he's coming back and so on. Not if he had a freaking casual lover.

She gave me the coldest look I've ever seen in my life, scanning me up and down like she'd be choking my soul, finally saying "I've seen you look at him, wondering how and if to make your move. For almost two years you haven't. Why is that?"

"Is he...?"

"Not that I know of. No, he's not my, or our lover to answer your question. Now answer mine."

"He's, well, intimidating. And probably straight. And way out of my league." I answered as she eyed me down with her ice cold eyes, choking my soul for more answers "And I'm afraid that he'll turn me down or worse."

"David, you're a nice kid and you have no fucking idea who's in your league. There is no worse than not asking. No harm in a drink between two men. He's a sweetheart. You better be a gentleman if you go after him, he's been through enough pain." even as her words were nice, her voice was ice cold and like I'd be the one hurting him. He's superior to me in every possible way, not to mention that I'd actually have to get close to him to hurt him, which still at the moment seemed like mission impossible.

But her words sparked an opportunity in my head to find out what's their deal. "I only ever see him not sad after he sees you."

"He sees a lot of horrid things. I help him deal with them. Ask him out, tomorrow, after I see him." So, therapy it is. Though there's a million different therapies. Apparently sexual therapy was a therapy as well.

"He's back tomorrow? Could you find out-"

"Davi," she cut me off "Yes he'll be back and no, I will not get involved with his personal life as long as I'm not in his." her voice strict and icey.

"Sorry, of course." I ended the conversation abruptly, seeing John return. I don't know why, but I still struggled with the part he played in my life, like I could never in my lifetime repay him.

"David," she called my attention back and in an odd way I felt like a kid called to the front of the class to receive a scolding, "He doesn't drink here when you're not working." she said and gestured me to shoo.

I spent the rest of the evening distracted. The mention that he didn't sit at the bar when I wasn't there seemed reassuring, but why hadn't he talked to me if I was the reason he was there? Maybe it was just a coincidence.

The day after, I saw Luke sit in his usual spot as I arrived to work, he was the only one in the bar. He had usually come an hour or so after me, but he probably just got back from war, so I'd be drinking early too. He's a slow drinker, no more than a drink in half an hour. He looked especially sad that day, depressed even and I decided it's not a great day to ask him out. It wasn't like he'd be there for just one day. He played with his ring again, taking it off and putting back on, toying with it between his fingers, like it had some answers hidden in it.

He sat there in silence, pointing at his glass every time it ran empty, not saying a word for two hours. Suddenly he looked me in the eyes, something he'd never really done before. His bright eyes locking me to my spot. It felt like I could feel the pain in his soul as I looked back in his eyes.

"Do you think it's possible to just accept this world as it is, after seeing the things I have? Humans killing and hurting each other, for what? Some game of political chess?" he muttered as he dropped his gaze from me.

I was taken aback from his low, well pronounced, strong voice. Oh I loved deep sounds, almost the very reason I played the double bass. He sounded so warm even when his words were so cold and horrid. How can one ever help him deal with that pain?

I panicked as I had to answer, not able to formulate one. "You're eyes, they're always so sad." I said and punched myself in my mind, why did I say that of all the things? Like of all the things?!

"Sorry, I didn't mean to burden you." he said regretting his words.

"No-no, uhm, I'm David. But I guess you noticed that in the two years." I quickly quipped, realising that I was actually talking to him for the first time.

"Luke. Sorry again." he told me with a half smile, his eyes warming up for just a second.

"Don't be. I've always wondered what your story was." I asked, encouraged by our first light conversation.

"Not a story for telling." he said looking away, playing with his ring again.

"Of-of course, sorry." I stammered, noticing Kathrine step in. I tried to look busy, but remained in the listening range of them.

That day was different, she didn't just tap him to go, she stood next to him, gazing at him, clearly annoyed. Finally she snapped, tearing the ring he was playing with out of his hands and tossed it in his drink, hissing at him in her low voice "For the love of... leave it Luke."

In a second he was up and choking her from the throat. She didn't fight back or seem to fear him on any level, her ice cold stare for him solid, not even a flinch. He wasn't going to hurt her was he?

They stared each other down, it really felt to me that the biggest war of the century was happening between them in silence. Neither one of them moved for what seemed like minutes. He finally let her neck go, leaning on the bar with his elbows, his head between his hands, taking deep breaths. She tapped him on the shoulder as if nothing had happened and nudged him to follow her. He let out a good sigh and straightened himself, giving the ring in the glass a pained look as he went after her.

I could barely believe the situation that'd happened in front of my eyes. From the first moment I'd ever met Kath, I understood that I'd never met anyone that bold, direct and fearless, especially considering how unabashed she was about it. I mean it's even borderline rude - well that's sugarcoating it. But to not even flinch when a man like Luke is choking you? I might have even underestimated her game.

As they had left, I picked up his glass, his ring in it. I looked at the ring, it had "Forever yours, Kim Serene" engraved in it. Why did it have to be a unisex name? The man I'd known as Captain Luke S. suddenly turned to Luke Serene in my head. Luke the peaceful, an army captain, I laughed in my head over the irony. Divorced? Widowed? But certainly he wasn't at peace.

I worked as a robot for the next six hours, hoping to see him walk through the doors, happier hopefully. I wondered how she could possibly help a man like him for the hundredth time. Did she hypnose him, give obliviating massages? The good old lay down and talk? Alternative therapy of some sort? I really had no idea what kind of therapies were out there. God, therapy was a board term.

I was almost finishing and ready to close the bar as he walked back in, taking a seat in his usual stool. Holding a finger up, asking for a drink. I placed an iced glass with ice in front of him and started to pour him white tequila, his usual choice, but he surprised me asking for a rum that time. He seemed soft, like he'd just been in a spa. Maybe she was a masseuse?

I poured him his drink and placed his ring in front of him, saying "In case you wanted it back."

For a second his pained tense self was back, making me regret my move, but he relaxed again saying "Thank you, but do so that I never see that again."

Well, he's not widowed. I took the ring back giving it a final look over and tossed it in the fireplace. He looked at me with his piercing eyes and I worried that I overdid it, but he smiled and chuckled a laugh, his eyes turning warm.

"You ever go out of this place, see the town?" I asked him, surprising even myself.

"No, not really."

"I'm finishing now, would you like to have a drink somewhere?"

"Sure, that'd be nice for a change, but I might be a bit of a light weight today." he said with a gentle smile on his lips. His eyes shone so beautifully when he smiled. Fuck, don't stare.

"At least I know where you live when I have to drag you home." I joked, not believing for a second that a man twice my size couldn't handle his drinks better than me.

And that was that, I'd finally asked him out. But I feared that my wish to go out with him as with a man, not a friend hadn't not been heard. How could have it, I didn't even give a chance for it to be heard. Still, I was happy to finally talk to him and grabbed a few pre-mixed gin tonics for the walk, trying to stretch out the evening.

I walked with him through the town, showing him spots I loved, like the back end of the park on the hill near the hotel with a great view over the valley, the small streets where no one ever walked, the first bar I worked in, the cafe my friend owned, all while he listened to me quietly.

"Sorry, I must be boring you." I said embarrassed by my lengthy monologue.

"No-no, it's interesting. I joined the academy straight out of school and then straight to service, I haven't really experienced civil life in a way you speak of." he said, softly smiling at me.

"I can't imagine the life you've lived." I admitted in hopes I could unravel him for me.

"Don't." he said quickly, but necessarily in a negative way.

I had wanted to nudge him from his back to move on, but he twitched in pain as I touched him. "Sorry, I-I..., sorry." I stammered at his grimaced face.

"Sore back, that's all." he quipped with a gentle smile and gestured to move on. I didn't believe it for a second, but I just smiled and nodded. Had he been hurt wherever he'd been in the last six months? But remembering how I appreciated John never asking when I didn't want to tell then I did the same.

I took him to Wolfies, a cosy bar I'd grown to love with lots of private tables and we talked about the hotel, the town, easy subjects for a fair bit. He wasn't local and hadn't been around much even as he'd been living there most times between being in base or deployed for the last four years.

"Next week is my last deployment, six months and then I'm done, forever." he said almost out of the blue.

"Sorry?" I asked trying to sober up my brain, wondering if I heard him correctly.

"I can't do it anymore." he said, making me guess what he meant by that, but yet again it didn't seem like a question he'd want to answer.

"But you just came back." I asked in puzzlement.

"It's like a little vacation in a twelve month deployment."

"Oh, but what will you do then?"

"Don't know. I've always just been in the army, especially when my wife left me. She fucking sent the divorce papers in the mail, through her lawyer..." he sighed heavily and asked, "Sorry, that still gets to me, you married?"

"No, gay." I said, wondering if I shouldn't have had as there were a hundred more normal answers, but what I'd win from that? Not that I had anything to win from this anyway, me gay, him straight and too tempting to have as a friend. But he did seem surprised, like in a good way.

"How's that in civil life?" he asked looking me over like he'd be checking me out, but I didn't dare to hope. Yeah, that was what I was telling myself - the lie of the year.

"Uhm, don't know what to compare to. Normal I guess. Harder to find a partner than straight people, few homophobes out there and so on." I told and he accepted that with a simple nod and shrug.

We talked and drinked on, he hadn't been lying, he really was a light weight that day and we soon headed back. He leaned on me as we walked back to the hotel as I did my best to not touch his back. It did feel slightly amusing to be offering support for a guy almost halfway larger than me, but I was glad to be getting any physical contact from him.

He offered me a drink in his room and how could I have had turned that down, wondering slightly on how straight he really was or if he was just unaware what offering a drink to someone in your room usually meant. We sat on his couch, talking meaningless small talk - I guess both of us just happy to have someone to talk to.

Mid talk he fell asleep and for the first time ever he seemed completely at ease. He looked amazingly beautiful sleeping and I took a few good moments to envy his body without fearing to get caught. For the first time I noted that his nose was rather flat, his face was rather round than square and how seriously bulky thighs he had. To me he looked truly godly, so defined and strong, yet so sweet and soft. I put a pillow under his head and blanket over him, leaving him to his peace. He must have had a very long day just getting back and all.

And as human nature dictates, I realised that I left my wallet in there just as the door locked behind me. Damn.

Not wanting to disturb his sleep, I decided that he'd surely bring it down to me the next day.

The next day I sheepishly realised that my work key card was between my wallet, forcing me to do my walk of shame after all. He answered the door looking unusually well his mood wise and oh-oh his body. He was even more well built than I had guessed, well what else would one expect from a soldier? But still, he looked seriously mighty fine, perfectly hairy, not too fit, no muscle too pronounced, just a beautiful sunkissed handsome bulky man. I found myself staring at his mostly naked body, just his close fitting trunks and singlet hiding his full glory from me, hoping that my member won't jump into full glory at the sight in front of me.

Before I could snap out of my frozen state he already said "David, you must be here for your wallet."

"Yes, key card." was all I managed to say, desperately trying to look casual without much success. It was already too late to not get a boner.

"I'd invite you in, but I guess you have to be working soon." he said turning his back to me and holy shit his back... If I would have held something, I would have dropped it. It was almost completely irritated pink, at least as much as I could see of it, covered with welt like stripes running left to right and back. It didn't look like anything I could name, being dragged on gravel seeming like the closest option, but that wasn't it.

"Luke your back..." I muttered from my shock.

"I'm sorry you saw that. I realise it must not be an easy sight." he said turning his back away from me, his face full of regret.

"That must have hurt." I said softly, desperately trying to figure out what could cause such irritation without scarring. And that recent. Or had the scarring healed already?

"Not nearly as much as the things I've seen, but it helps." he said, avoiding any eye contact with me. I didn't really understand what he'd meant, but as he was already handing me my wallet I just smiled and nodded, promising to see him around.

That day he didn't come down for a drink. Why should he have had? We're just friendly and one shouldn't be drinking every day any how. I didn't see him for the rest of my two work days as well and I kept on wondering about his back, what did he mean by that that it helps? No scenario or explanation that I came up with sounded right in my head and I just stuck by the idea that maybe him experiencing such a traumatic event himself helps him understand the painful consequences of war better - not that I could still figure out what on earth could possibly cause such... scraping?