All Comments on 'To Love & Obey Ch. 04'

The fourth installment of To Love & Obey exceeded my expectations! I was only expecting perfect, Moanae, nothing more. It seems; however, that you've done the impossible and given your readers even more than perfect. Thank you for this wonderful story, and don't feel rushed, but I'm already looking forward to the fifth part :)

It was great and keep going..... loving it

Was really good. It seemed a bit rushed though and it had a few spelling errors. I would like to see the having g sex turn ed I to making love. With other stories that I have read there is a knot and being tied together. Really good. Ut again it seemed really rushed

Other people might not mind it, but personally I think your sex scenes would be stronger if you didn't do the little ~~~ jumps between types of sex and came up with more naturalistic transitions. Also, watch out for your spelling of "though" you kept writing it in the text message style as "tho". Hope this helps!

Loved it. Just need a smoother transition between scenes. I like that there wasn't a whole bunch of conversating while they were having sex.

I thought it was pretty good. My only suggestion is to spend more time on the foreplay. Did he take her clothes off or did they shed their clothes independently? What were they saying? Any dirty talk stating what he would do? How did she look? Was he carrying her or were both walking? I think providing more of a visual of the "before the action" can help set up the sex - to heighten the anticipation and raise the temperature.

I really liked it ! Keep it up. I did have a question though, if she cannot also turn into a wolf and she is to become alpha bitch how is she going to protect her title if she is to be challenged by another female wolf? I know you wrote that she will become stronger now that she is mated,but will she be strong enough to fight another wolf in human form?

Heyyy👋👋 😏😛

Lol. You're too nice to me; I think my heart just melted. I have to be careful so that your great comment doesn't go straight to my head lol.

Thank you kindly

Hi.

Ok so this is totally my fault. I hoping that as you read the other charters you'll be satisfied to know that that is not the way my make believe pack works lol. Okay so, it's like this.... Storm's pack is so freaking awesome that no one would (clears throat) think of doing anything to hurt him. They are confident in the spiritual leader's ability to select a proper mate. They also wouldn't want to bring the raft of the mighty storm down upon them.

an awesome story,a bit rushed but still awesome.One thing is that by now we should have learnt how and when Storm saw Sunny Rae for the first time and knew she was his mate?

The sex scene by better if it was told more into details, described more. At least double in length. Now it so quickly read that it does have time to make any real effect on the reader.

So, basically what I commented on the earlier chapter, concerning the whole story - don't rush so much!