by papadog
You have the starting elements of a good story. Several words either spelled wrong or improperly used is distracting to the reader. Also there were a few instances of "verb tense" being wrong. A bit more background information about "who" the girl / woman is would have set the setting better. Your ending was a bit abrupt for me ... but that's just me. Keep on writing ... You'll get there !! Good luck😄😄😄