All Comments on 'Toll Booth'

Outstanding!

Been awhile, Melissa, but as good as ever. I think this is the first for me in this genre. Always wanted a 57 "Babybird"! Sweetest and sexiest car ever built. Oh well, mater of taste I guess.

Thanks for the story, be safe and enjoy!

Cheers

SAGE

I hope Makayla didn't make a mistake when she got in the car with Tommy at the end....

Thank you very much for this somewhat different story, which again impressed me very much.

In the meantime one expects from you stories with claim, and you have delivered again.

Dankeschön :)

Very good piece of writing.

That was a fun Halloween story thanks for sharing it

I wonder: Is Tommy some kind of ghost, and was Makayla killed in the crash but doesn't know it, and were the coyotes munching on her body or on the body of the truck driver? So many questions; maybe I have too vivid an imagination, but it is, after all, close to Halloween, and it is in the category of erotic horror, right? That does not mean, a fortiori, that there's ghosts, or ghost cars, etc., but it doesn't mean there isn't either, Right? Anyway, it's a sexy story. My favorite moment is when Tommy asks, "Do you know how to handle a stick?" Makayla then puts her hand on his thigh and squeezed. "I've handled a few," she said.

Five stars from me, ~~JB

Loved the story.....but there is no "PARK" .....in a stick shift car!

i really liked this slow burner of a story especially the way the tension was building as the story progressed. Reminded me of the classic Dicken's ghost story; The Signalman. 5 stars.

Great ghost story. Loved it.

THANKS

Nice foreshadowing, both here and in Webster's Gore.

Think I was expecting that with the way the story was written. A true ghost story for Halloween and we'll written.

Very, very nice.

Yup. Got all the marbles and then some.

Nice ride for the long trip …. Every being detecting danger is able to move, trying saving their life, the human is watching fascinating or fearful, knowing the full potential outcome, but awaits the impact not able take action …. So knowing the last ride will be in a 57 tbird, might fun

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

There are a few things I wanted to say about what I’ve just read, but this is exceptionally good.

.

It was clear from early on that your world-building skills are really strong, while the dialogue was realistic and the characters felt authentic.

.

I was worried that your commitment to showing the reader the monotony of Makayla’s new job would set the wrong tone, but there came a point where the opposite ended up being true. I felt that there was a charm to the way you committed to the small details, like the sports radio talk and saving up enough cash for a used tablet device. When you add all those little details up, you end up with such a compelling environment for the story to play out in. Also, I love how understated some of those details were, which demonstrated that you trusted the reader to come along for the ride.

.

When Tommy made his appearance, I loved the chemistry between him and Makayla. At the point where you wrote – “He threw his head back in a hearty laugh. "Baby, don't I know it." – I scribbled down “I love this” after I stopped smiling. Chemistry between characters is such a hard thing to achieve, especially when they meet for the first time. As a writer, you’ve shown an ability to go from 0-60 in creating that chemistry from a standing start, with an acceleration that Tommy’s T-Bird would’ve been proud of. Another great line was when Tommy said - "Nope," he shook his head, "Gotta be night time. It's like the song says, the night time is the right time." – Lines like that made it credible why Makayla would want to escape the drudgery of the toll booth and get in Tommy’s car.

.

All things considered, there’s an uncompromising nature to the way you put this together that made this great, with the boredom of the job and references to the cruelty of nature. That speaks volumes about your ability to retain control of any story you write with just the right pacing.

.

That said, I’d say there were only slight issues to point to. Both Makayla and Joanne’s names were being formatted as MaKayla and JoAnne at times, and there were a few guesses at correct comma usage. Additionally, while I’m really impressed by the way you set the scene having read the whole story, your introductory hook was a little plain. Obviously, that’s a trade-off that you get to decide upon, but those that stuck with this were treated to a terrific piece of work.

.

I’ve read a lot of different authors on Literotica over the last 15 years, but I can’t think of anyone that creates chemistry between the main characters quite like you. This was an erotic horror piece, and the ending was very well written, but it’s that chemistry between Makayla and Tommy that I’ll take away from this. I can see why you’re such a fixture within the romance genre. However, I should also point out that you showed great discipline with the ending in that you only gave the reader just enough information to grasp what that final scene looked like. It was artistry.

.

In terms of rating this, your efforts go beyond a five-star rating, which I don’t award often. This is one of the best stories I’ve ever read here.

.

90/100. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Came to read this after seeing it mentioned in a thread on the AH. I don't generally read a lot of erotic horror, but I love your writing and your worldbuilding so I gave it a chance. I absolutely was not disappointed. I loved the interplay between Tommy and Makayla and felt you set the tone of being out on that highway in the middle of the night perfectly. All the little bits of Makayla jumping at shadows as nature went about it's routine. Everything came together in a wonderful balance of tension and anticipation. Absolutely loved it and thank you so much for sharing it with us!!

Stacy told no lies, this was astoundingly good. Very well done, you made me forget about my coffee and it went cold.

Oh yeah, this is the stuff. It felt like you used a light touch and it was all the more enjoyable for it. You're really fucking good at this.

I'm on my own right now, but when I finished this, I offered a little clap. No one else here writes at this level.

World class. Moody, detached, sharp. Out-Leibering Leiber. (Fritz Leiber - Gonna roll the bones. Nebula award winner)

Nice. Very nice. Thanks for sharing your talent.

This is a winner, lovely build up to the climax and bam you delivered the punch line of a clever plot. Another winning story.