Tommy Pt. 02

After I slept off my drunk and sobered up some, I awoke with a splitting headache. At first, I didn't remember anything and wondered why I was in my nineteen-year-old son's bed. But as I went to the bathroom, it all came crashing back, hitting me like a ton of bricks. My stomach knotted up, and I felt nauseous as I ran for the bathroom; I knelt in front of the toilet and began puking my guts up.

I wasn't sure if I was sick from all the drinking or because of what I had done. It wasn't that I had eaten cum or even the fact that I had scooped it out of the tub drain to do it. It was that I had eaten Tommy's cum. My own sons cum. And then I masturbated to thoughts of him as well. I was deeply disturbed by these sickening facts. I was not happy with myself, not happy at all. I put Tommy's bedspread in the washer and went and locked myself in my bedroom and cried and cried for days and days on end.

Poor Tommy had absolutely no idea what was going on, but it was a tiny apartment, and he could hear me crying; he would lightly knock at my door and softly ask if I was alright, but I would only tell him to go away. I couldn't face him; I just couldn't. What kind of Mother eats her own Son's sperm and then masturbates to him in his bed with the taste of it still lingering in her mouth? I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. And I do mean entirely!

At first, I would only come out when Tommy was away at college or very late at night while he was asleep. I didn't have much appetite, ate very little for weeks, and was losing weight. I took a big stock pot to my room in case I had to pee when Tommy was home; I had not yet come to terms with what I did and was not sure if I ever would. I gained some of my appetite back a little at a time and eventually realized that I was going to have to get my shit together soon and move on with my life somehow.

I had lost a fair amount of weight, and my eyes were puffy and swollen with dark bags beneath them. I looked terrible and did not want Tommy to see me like this. I began forcing myself to eat more, slowly regained some of my strength, and started looking somewhat better after a while.

I slowly gained most of the weight back and began to come out for little stints at a time while Tommy was there. It wasn't much at first to say hello or maybe eat a quick meal together, and then I would retreat to my room where I felt I could hide from the rest of the world. Tommy knew something was wrong, but he didn't ask any questions of me; he could tell I was hurting inside but felt it was probably best just to let me work it out myself.

A couple of months passed, and with exercise and a proper diet, I felt like my old self again physically. I still had not completely forgiven myself mentally, but I was also working on that and progressing well. I had not yet attempted to masturbate; that was still very shaky ground for me. I found myself wanting to do it often, but I just wouldn't let myself, and I wouldn't admit to myself why, even though I knew very damn well why.

Even though I was fighting it as hard as I possibly could, I was still having dirty, disgusting thoughts about Tommy in my mind. Whenever I entered the bathroom, no matter how hard I fought it, my eyes eventually wandered to the tub drain! Even though I wouldn't admit it, I knew deep down what would happen if I attempted to pleasure myself. I knew where my filthy mind would take me. But I was slowly coming to terms with it because I knew I would give in to my urges to masturbate eventually.

I began to tell myself that whatever thoughts I may have in my head were my thoughts, and no one else could know about them, and that what I did when I was alone was strictly my business and mine alone. As long as I didn't get caught or tell anyone, no one else would ever have to know what went through my mind or what I did when I was alone. No matter how disgusting it may be!

It became something that I recited to myself daily, and it was working well for me as I seemed to grow hornier and hornier with each passing day. I was still fighting the dirty thoughts in my mind, but things slowly somewhat returned to normal, and I eventually stopped hiding out in my room all the time and soon felt much better about it all.

One morning after waking up soaking wet from a rather vivid dream of Tommy, I finally just realized that I could not possibly stop the thoughts I was getting of Tommy beating off to my big tits in the shower and the thick wad he had left behind. I slowly gave up even trying.

I began dreaming of Tommy often and would lay there awhile after waking and daydream about masturbating again someday soon. One morning, I awoke feeling a little extra chipper about it and decided to set a date. My Birthday was coming up soon, and I promised myself that on my Birthday, I was going to have an orgasm! It was coming up in less than three weeks, so I marked it on the Calendar and began counting down the days.

The dreams started coming more often, almost every night, becoming more vivid and exciting. In my dreams, Tommy had a nine-inch cock! I soon stopped fighting it altogether and slowly let a plan for my big day begin forming in my mind. I started scheming, and wild thoughts kept popping up in my head. Before long, I decided I had a little shopping to do if my plan for my Birthday would be much of a success.

I went to the grocery store first, then to a hardware store, an adult toy store, a beachwear shop, and finally, a bookstore. Each day, I would mark off another square on the Calendar, and soon, the big day was getting very close. Just two more days! Just two more days, and then I was going to fuck myself silly!

The big day was going to be on Saturday when the maid usually came and cleaned the tiny apartment, but I explained to her I had big Birthday plans that day and asked if she could come on Friday instead. She eagerly agreed. Cindy was a little older than Tommy, but I think she had a bit of a crush on him as she was always flirting with him on Saturdays, and she also knew he did not have classes on Fridays.

I awoke early Friday morning feeling quite good and headed to Tommy's room. I woke him up and sent him on a grocery errand for my Birthday dinner and a few other things. Just enough to keep him out for a while. I wanted to do a little snooping that I never got to do before, and I wanted to do it before Cindy arrived.

The first thing I found was an old photograph of myself in a dripping wet one-piece bathing suit. My lifelong best friend Susan took it at a pool party a few years ago, and I had forgotten it even existed. I found it in Tommy's sock drawer. The next thing I found was a pair of my favorite tiny pink panties that I had been missing for the last few days. He must have taken them from the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom. I found them under his pillow.

I suddenly felt a warm sensation in my crotch as I realized that he was sniffing my panties, and then I felt myself moisten a little at the thought. I slowly put them to my nose and smelled them myself. He must have had them for several days now as I caught a faint scent, but not much. I suddenly had another idea!

A few minutes later, I found an incest DVD titled "Raven-Haired Moms Know Best." As I looked at the front and back cover of the disc, it was simple to see that all the ladies in this porn film had long jet-black hair, such as myself. I found it under his mattress. I also found fourteen wadded-up tissues full of dried-up nut juice in his wastebasket. Damn, I said out loud, as I thought to myself, Tommy jerks off a lot!

Needless to say, as I found all these items, I became very aroused and wet. Somehow, I made it through without masturbating though I don't know how because my panties had become thoroughly saturated, and I was as horny as a goat. I didn't even try to push any of it out of my mind because there was no other explanation this time. It was just what it appeared to be. Tommy was still jerking off to me! And a fucking lot! I felt another warm shiver run through me at the thought!

I returned the photo and disc as I had found them, but not the panties. As I had been snooping around his room, thinking, I carefully worked the DVD and panties into my birthday plan! I quickly went and put the tiny pink panties on to wash and then went to the kitchen and got a small zip-lock baggie. I reached beneath the thin sun dress I wore, peeled down the white pair I wore, and stepped out of them.

They were very, very wet, and the crotch was fully coated with my sweet cooter cream. As I carefully inspected them, I could see several long, curly, jet-black pubes stuck in my slick secretions. They were very prominent against the creamy white panties and stuck out like a sore thumb, and you couldn't miss them if you tried. I left them there. I folded the wet panties neatly to protect the crotch, then put them in the little baggie, sealed them up, and put them in my pocket.

When Cindy discovered Tommy was not there, she quickly cleaned the little apartment and was soon gone. I rushed to his room and gently placed the little baggie of cream-coated panties beneath his pillow.

I wasn't sure how this would pan out, but I quickly convinced myself that I was only trying to be helpful, and I giggled a little at the thought. I knew it was risky, but as I had thought of it earlier, it became fascinating, and I convinced myself that no one would ever know. I knew Tommy would quickly suspect Cindy of leaving the panties. He would never dream of such a thing from his very own sweet mother.

Tommy was unhappy about Cindy coming a day early and cleaning his room without giving him any notice, and I knew why. After placing the items he had purchased on the small dining table, he quickly rushed to his room, slammed his door, and locked it. After about an hour, I called Tommy out for a late breakfast.

As we sat at the small dining table eating, Tommy was unusually quiet and acted a little nervous. But if he were wise to the fact that 'Cindy' had found his little treasures earlier that morning, he didn't let on about it. At first, I just assumed he was mad at me for making her come a day early. But then I suddenly realized that he must know all about the panties by now. Cindy had changed his bed sheets and pillowcases and made up his bed, which he had never done.

The photo was buried under his socks, so he probably didn't suspect her of seeing it. The same was valid with the disc, which was way up under the mattress. But there was no getting around the panties. I made a mental note to check on them as soon as possible.

As soon as Tommy finished his breakfast, he quickly stood and said he was going to the basketball court to shoot hoops with some of his buddies from college. He rushed out the door. I made a mad dash for his room when he was gone. I saw the single waded-up tissue in the wastebasket before I reached the pillow! I knew Cindy had emptied the wastebasket full of the spent tissues earlier because I had seen her do it myself. With my heart thumping rapidly, I quickly flipped the pillow over and suddenly sucked my breath in loudly.

The panties were still in the baggie but no longer neatly folded. I wasn't thinking correctly in my lust-filled state of mind earlier, and I hadn't expected Tommy to find them this quickly. I had expected him to find them when he went to bed later that night. My hands were shaking badly as I opened the baggie and removed them. I shifted them around and again gasped loudly and almost dropped them on the floor when my eyes found the cleaned cloth of the crotch! They were still very damp, but the slick coating of cunt honey and the few dark curly pubes were nowhere to be seen!

My knees buckled a little, and as I quickly sat on Tommy's bed, I could see it all clear in my head. As soon as Tommy had slammed and locked his door that morning, he had rushed to the pillow, already suspecting that Cindy had found and removed his prized pink panties. He must have been surprised, thinking Cindy left the fully creamed white panties for him in their place. Then at this point, Tommy must have pulled out his cock and shot his wad into a tissue while eating his own mother's sweet quim candy from the crotch of the slick white panties!

Did he eat the pubes, too? Oh my God, I suddenly realized that all the younger women these days shaved their snatches bald. Oh my God, I thought, even if she didn't shave it at all, Cindy was a natural blond! I carefully put the panties and the small baggie back just as I had found them. I began to tremble a little as images of Tommy licking my sweet cunt butter from the panties while beating his hard meat pole kept flashing in my mind! I was suddenly very wet again and wondered if Tommy would mention Cindy and the panties to me.

The AC unit broke later that day, and I quickly called maintenance. They said they would get to it as soon as possible. As it was the middle of summer, I knew we were screwed for at least the rest of the day. As evening approached, it had been a sweltering day, and neither of us was particularly overdressed, especially me; I disliked being hot.

Tommy just wore shorts and no shirt. I had changed from the sun dress into shorts and a tiny blue half-shirt, which was very thin and short. Usually, it was way too sparse for my usual taste. I don't know why I even purchased it a short while back, as I had never even worn it yet, but I was sure glad I had it that day. I was not wearing a bra beneath it. I knew I was showing way too much, but as I said, it had been a scorching day.

Tommy was just a tiny child when his father and I divorced. He and I had lived alone together almost all his life with no father figure anywhere around us. We were very close, and I taught him early on that he could talk to me about anything. We often talked openly about many different things that most mothers and sons probably didn't discuss with each other. Still, though, I did not really expect Tommy to mention Cindy and the panties, and I was not surprised when he kept the little secret to himself.

Even though I was very scantily clad, I do have to say Tommy did his very best to keep his eyes on the table and off of my protruding tits as we sat and had our late supper, but bless his little heart, he did lose the battle many, many times. I caught him looking several times, and he would quickly look away and shift nervously in his chair.

Each time I felt his eyes on my chest, my big nipples stiffened, burned, and throbbed. It was very dim in the room, almost dark even, but I knew my big tits were hanging out below the bottom of the tiny half-shirt and that he could probably see my big nipples and pink puffy areoles from time to time as I moved and shifted if he watched closely enough. I knew I probably needed more clothes on around him, but I was very fucking hot at the moment, and I just really didn't care.

Besides, I didn't mind if he looked at them anymore because, after the exciting day I had in his room earlier, I had already checked out the prominent bulge beneath his shorts several times myself earlier in the day. I knew my big braless jugs jiggled and swayed under the skimpy shirt with each little movement I made, and I may have even been a bit moist as we sat across the table from one another, although it could have easily just been from the sweat.

As Tommy arose from the table and quickly announced he was going for a shower, I couldn't help but notice he was rock-hard beneath his tight shorts. I could instantly tell he was a much larger man than his father had been. A full five inches would have been pushing it for his dad. Did I do that to him? Was he going to relieve himself again over my big, puffy nipples?

I immediately dampened at the thought, quickly cleared the table, and decided the dishes would have to wait a bit. I patiently waited as Tommy exited his room and headed for the bathroom. When he shut and locked the door, I rushed and pressed my ear against it. I stood there quietly, listening through the doorway for any sound coming from within. I detected light whimpering moans and a faint slapping sound a few moments later.

The slapping sound soon grew louder and louder, and I stood there with my ear to the door and my hands beneath the little half-shirt squeezing my nipples as I quietly listened to my son beat off over his own mother's tits again. I was tempted several times to slip my hand down my shorts and just finish this thing right then and there, but I stopped short each time as my hairy cunt quivered and begged for attention. Moments later, it was all I could do to contain myself when I heard Tommy whimper softly and very quietly announce to his mother that he was going to cum for her; he had no idea I could hear him!

When the shower cut off, I quickly rushed to my room. I was soaking wet and wholly flushed from head to toe and was very warm between my legs. I could blame it on the heat, but I knew better. As I stood in my room and thought momentarily, I suspected I might find what I desired most if I went into the bathroom and looked. It was a hard decision to make, but in the end, I declined. Maybe tomorrow night if everything goes as planned. I soon retired to the soft comfort of my bed and quickly drifted off to sleep; I was ready for this day to be over with, and tomorrow night couldn't get here quick enough for me.

As I lay in bed completely nude due to the heat, I just tossed and turned until, at some point, I heard the AC finally crank back up. I was soon fast asleep and began dreaming about my big day tomorrow. The next morning, I awoke with the roosters and quietly sat and drank coffee while waiting for Tommy to arise. I had pondered my birthday plans for over two weeks and was eager to get things started. I had already asked Tommy earlier in the week if he would accompany me to the pool on Saturday evening, and he said yes, but I had a few things I had to prepare first.

First, I quickly showered and slipped into the tiny pink panties as I dressed after I finished my coffee. I knew that preparing for and daydreaming about my big night all day long would have the panties soaking wet and plastered to my creamy pussy long before we were ready for the pool that evening. I knew what I wanted for my Birthday gift, and only one person could give it to me, and there was only one way to get it. Later that afternoon, we had my birthday dinner, and afterward, I knew it wouldn't be much longer. I could feel my juices start to flow at the very thought.

As soon as the sun began to set that evening, I went to my closet and pulled out the big bag of items I had purchased. Inside the bag was a very skimpy white bikini, a small jar of baby food, a small piece of plastic screening, and a large hardcover book. The title of which was irrelevant as I had no intention of actually reading the damn thing. The last item in the bag was a fat nine-inch latex dildo still in its package.

The pool was at the apartment complex, and Tommy and I often went after the sun went down as it wasn't heavily occupied at that hour. We often had the place to ourselves after dusk, and I hoped for that situation tonight. Neither of us got in the pool often; we just lounged around drinking beer and working up a good sweat, so I knew he would be hot and sweaty when we arrived back at the apartment. With over two weeks to plan, I had thought of everything.

I removed the ruined pair of tiny pink panties and put them in another zip-lock baggie. I changed into the new bikini and inspected myself in the mirror. I had already tried it on the day I brought it home, so I already knew what I was dealing with. I already knew that I would not possibly be able to parade around the pool in this skimpy thing. The top barely covered my big fat nipples as they poked at the thin material. I could see the shading of my swollen, puffy pink areolas beneath the thin white cloth as the small piece of fabric strained against the pressure of my big titties.