All Comments on 'Tom's Gran'

Keep going for many chapters BUT you don't have to put it "times."

At last a story that goes straight to the action, no pages of useless info before the action starts.Keep on writing like this.

For the read.

I'm sorry. I'm sure you put a great deal of effort into your story but I found it unreadable. I persevered longer than would normally have done in the hope it would improve but it didn't. It got worse. It just didn't flow. Your sentences are too short and sharp, as is your dialogue.

I suggest that you read your stories aloud to yourself before publishing them. That way you might get a sense of what I am talking about. Your writing is unnatural.

Please keep trying, however. The premise of your story has some merit. The secret in writing successfully, however, is in the editing. Edit. Edit. Edit.

tits, massive cock, massive clit, really. it's your story/fantasy and if you want everything over sized, well as I said, it's your story. However, if you want readers, I would suggest you tone down the size stuff, and really concentrate on the writing. And as someone said, read your story out loud to yourself and hear how it sounds. Generally speaking, if it rolls off the tongue, if it reads smooth, then it is probably much more readable. Keep Going...

I write this in hope it helps your future output. The pace of your writing is hampered by your structure. For example:

"He replied, Thanks for calling mum." should be written: "Thanks for calling, Mum," he replied.

The spoken word is far more important than the fact 'He replied' and you do that too many times. Sorry, but I failed to get into your story.

You definitely have a large number of stories listed. However, you do not have a single story that is NOT filled with a significant number of needless errors. STOP trying to see how many you can write and start trying to see how many well written stories you submit.

There are so many lines with missing words, incorrect words, misspelled words, incorrect tense, grammatical errors. Wouldn't you rather be known as someone who produces a well written story rather than someone who is considered a joke because his efforts are filled with so many needless errors?

Why are there so many errors? Simple, you have the warped belief that every chapter/story is perfect and no one can find an error in what you write. Readers do not point out you errors for the fun of it. They do so in an effort to make you a better writer. When you utilize the same word/words/terms in virtually every chapter/story, it is an indication that you lack foresight, use of language skills and are simply lazy.

Go back and read each chapter you have submitted and ask yourself. 'I what I've written even half way believable?' Unlike "Mind Control" or "Alien" and some other stories, where reality can be overlooked, stories about sex need some basis in believable reality.

Go out onto the streets or college campus or shopping mall and see if you can find every female with gigantic breasts. Go to a gym and put up a flyer and ask the question, "Is every male using this facility endowed with an enormous penis?" I get two major impressions from your "stories". One, you come up short on the penis scale. Two, the women that will talk with you are probably in the 32A/B range in the breast department.

Make certain, I am NOT putting these women down. Actually, I prefer women with smaller breasts. I find them far more sensitive. I have never encountered a girl or woman with breasts above a 36C that was very sensitive.