All Comments on 'Too Close for Comfort B'

I liked the story but that unethical cunt that Grant hired as an attorney should lose her license. Colluding with the other party behind her clients back is about the worst possible form of legal malpractice.

Sick of reading about the "put themselves in that position" so it is their fault when drugged and raped. Date rape is such a bs nomenclature. She was raped. Period. The second time was a colossal f$ckup on her part under the influence of a terrible "friend" plus other circumstances. So if it is a woman's fault for being in that "situation", even though she has NO intent, no such plans, and is drugged, so now she cannot possibly give consent, the blame is on her? That is antiquated bs reasoning. Same crap at rape trials where they attack the victim for "leading men on" and "dressing improperly". This is the 21 st century. Nit some early 1900s drama where men got away with rape almost all the time. Bet these same commenters think the Duke lacrosse team were innocent too, and the girl(s) were begging for it. F$ck off! Grow up and be a man, not some reactionary yokel. Besides the MC wss banging Amy in Jamaica, before he e en really k ew rhe circumstances. To be fair the divorceable offense is she caved to the blackmail and did NOT seek help or trust her husband. Not to mention her inexplicable reason for going back a second time like the fly to the spider. None of the character were likable. Was intentionally written ad no reconciliation and hubby ends up with Amy (who again he banged in Jamaica). Rape is a complex crime that so often the assailants get away with and leaves psychological scars. Different women react differently. Some have a sort of a deer caught in the headlights reaction, where they don't stop it (a la round two) but they just freeze. My wife was raped about 18 months before I met her. She froze and thought it best to just get it over with. But it scarred her for a long time. I was first person she told about it after 3 months if intense dating. I think she wanted to be able to tell someone and my nit judging her and supporting her help. The MC here, simply failed. None of the characters are likable, and some down right despicable at times. Think this got twisted in order to hit the final outcome that the author wanted. Meh.

This could have been a good reconciliation story. Obviously Dahlia didn't plan on cheating or was even tempted to cheat. She got a shitty friend the first night she was out flat, abd yes the second one she allowed it which was her fault after that it was all blackmail. Yes honestly felt remorseful and guilt the husband has every right to divorce her and they could have start from there again. As for her screwing others they were already divorced and the husband himself gave the greenlight, and to suddenly be called a whore for that? She tried every possible way she could think to save her marriage. The mc was out there screwing Amy too shouldn't he be judge for that as well? But the author wrote this with no reconciliation in mind so it ended the way it did. Poor Dahlia though, granted it's her fault but she really got the short end of the stick

Too long, too wordy, too cliché.

Obviously, Dahlia shouldn’t have gone to Jamaica, but Mary was a dog shit friend. Yes, she shouldn’t have been in any position to cheat, but the very first night is a combination of bad circumstances, bad friends, and date rape.

Yes, Dahlia further exacerbated it by giving in a second time and panicking when blackmailed. She absolutely should have told Grant. But… Grant did fuck Amy several times in Jamaica and didn’t tell Dahlia. Frankly, it’s pretty even and I think a reconciliation at her birthday would be somewhat acceptable.

For those of you that would forgive Dahlia for the "Date Rape", you failed to see that SHE PUT HERSELF IN THAT SITUATION. Thus, she gets the blame for it. Even worse, was that Dahlia did it AGAIN, after, showing choice, as was stated in the story. This is yet another story where 1 partner just throws away the trust and love of a marriage, without ANY thought, lies to her husband about it, making it worse, and then wants to reconcile? THEN, she goes around having sex with every man she can get into her bed. How can you other commenters actually say that a reconciliation is possible with this? There is no rebuilding that trust back to what it was. There will always be questions. Even worse is that she, at the end of the story, STILL blames Grant for her issues. She is totally deluded. Grant, on the other hand, should have NEVER agreed to the elongated divorce date, and no one in their right mind would agree to that, either, but hey the author had to do something to get his/her story out. Instead, Grant, in his indecision, allowed himself to be cucked. If I were Grant, I would never be in the same room as Dahlia, alone, EVER again.

I was hoping for an actual reconciliation. I see it this way... She got busy, lost all the excess weight, began working out and the relationship between Grant and Amy didn't work out.... Especially when their son got sick...And Grant found out that he was not the father... That Amy had been married before and was still seeing her ex....Again, Grant divorces Amy. comes across his first wife again and they get back together and remarry.... Incidentally, Grant traveled to Jamaica and was down there when a certain someone met his demise....

Not a good story. She was drugged and raped I Jamaica. She got no help from Glenda or anyone. She doesn't get out of there. Then all gell breaks loose. Considering their intense love for so many years, there is no way this play out like this from either side. She became a flake and a slut. For a guy who truly loved her, he was an asshole. The leading her on revenge at the end was horrible. Fine at that point stay divorced and move on, since she had become the town bike. But not believable. The internal monolog in her head made no sense at times. Full of contradictions. Someone who is raped, regardless of anything else, especially when they cannot remember it, are not in way to blame. Rhe second time makes no sense. She got no help. Trusted the wrong people. Like of characters in thus story were assholes or jerks. Not one ofnthe author's best and the ratings reflect it.

5 Stars on a Great Story .. love your writing ..

Ok... The Jamaica part is kinda believable... Except the second time. But her having to have sex so bad she sleeps around with anyone while trying to win her husband back... Send like a totally different person than described before.

Say that did happen. The husband is still an ass for what he did and let's be honest... What woman would want him knowing he used his previous wife so long for sex to hurt her. That's just fucked up. The new girlfriend send worse than the wife.

Read the whole thing but... Not that enjoyable.

Errr, no, I do not find it believable. So basically Dahlia was hit by a martian slut ray and you spend 11 pages on it?

Its just doesn't make sense, for nearly 20 years they were madly in love and it hadnt faded a bit, had zero problems and then she pulls a stunt like this. If they really had this crazy bond, she'd fled home as fast as possible after she fucked that black dude.

In a way its similar to February stories, kinda interesting, but sure as hell it wouldn't have happened irl. The biggest problem is that there's wife's pov, so you can't possibly call her a liar about her feelings, and that's exactly why story feels off, cause her actions does not back it up.

3/5

Fucked story 1*

Yeah 50 year old guys are addicted to fucking short fat women😂😂😂

Yet,more crap.

Just in case anyone woman who has been reading this is RAPED . Yes, raped, Dahlia's mistake was she trusted the wrong people. If you have been so drugged or made incapable by alcohol that you cannot recall the event, then you were raped . You owe owe no apologies to anyone. If only the Glenda had dragged the facts out Dahlia then called Grant and told him his wife had been drugged and RAPED so what was he going to do about it? THEN Grant would have the chance to contact hotel management, Get his wife sent home and the rapist charged.

As it stands the author seems to be telling us that rape victims are the cause of their own troubles because they are all whores. This story is fiction most clear when the author has her seeking other lovers after painting a picture of a wonderful caring wife in the time Mary destroyed her.

So do we have here a warning about trusting the wrong people like Mary and then Grant?

Or just another footballer etc crying "It wasn't rape, she wanted it"

Please stick with a single POV.

Its fiction thus not a true story. Like all of SS06's work I enjoyed it and wishing I'd started doing it sooner my favourite line from this story is "I swear a unicorn peed in my closet and then ran off." classic!.

Stupidest shit I have ever read by a half way competent writer. Nitwit

I'm sorry, I guess the story was too long for me and the Dahlia was just a continuous train wreck I couldn't even finish the last two or three chapters. My mins is so screwed up right now so I didn't vote, in one way is was good story and well written. In another way it was extremally frustrating watch Dahlia continuously going down on flames. I got to frustrated to continue....................

Below a couple of sentences that need correcting, I was terrible in English class so take any criticisms with a grain of salt.

My joke was wanted on him though.

They'd ne fired for violating the HIPPA rules.

I don be pillaried or thrown on the scrap heap of humanity because I didn't live up to her moral standards.

Dropped it on page two when you had her fuck in ugly jamaican.

That's just not believable and disgusting .

One star.

-Missy

"I should also tell you that this one is the B version of this story. It has been modified to fit your TV screens...well it has been modified for Literotica. If you would like the unvarnished version, most of you know where to find it."

I read the A version. I really liked this version, but the A version rocks. Find it.

Surprise ending. I think Dahlia hooked up with the Russian that owned 5 7-11s in Orange County in the movie R.E.D.

Wow a 400 pound wife ?? I have a Golden rule never date anyone who weighs more then I do .. I have a fear that a 400 pound lady would be on top and suffocate Me ..

A 400 lb. wife? After all the nonsense she dumped on him and then gaining all that weight? It would have been like having sex with a whale. She was delusional to think they would get back together. Grant'a lawyer was a clever woman the way she got the wife to sign those divorce paper.

You really need to track down the "A" version. It's not hard to find just Google his nam de plume and voila, bingo and shazzam...there is a link. Trust me the man is not a wimp, just don't say "What" to Grant, he tends to lose all sense of humor at that point. Things make a lot more sense in the "A" version and you're going to like Andy. Signed: BTW

I got through about three pages, and gave up. Two Stars.

Come on man you write better than this?

Story remains the same, only the names have changed.

PEEEEUUUUUKKKKKKKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Read the first two pages; got bored, felt like I had read this before, and skipped to the last page - didn’t feel like I had missed anything.

Overall the story sucked. Nobody is like that dependent on any woman.

You never addressed that most of what happened in Jamaica was coerced - technically rape. Had to stop reading after the Ashley Madison incident. That was so out of the character you had created that it made it unbelievable. Big incomplete.

You missed how very closely Grant was attached to Dahlia. Anywhere other than fantasy and their codependency is more than a bit unhealthy.

Panic attacks when she went to the store alone. The mental and emotonal despondency he was dealing with by the time she returned from being gone for a week was cause for institutional confinement.

Then he finds she picked up an STD and infected him. Just coming to terms with that crusher, and he finds her in serious medical trouble because of complications from abortion. He is soon to learn she had lots of sex with a number of strangers during a gangbang.

Your defense of her is she was not responsible for actions. She made foolish mistake, was coerced....NO SHE MADE THREE DECISIONS all by herself. She chose to not go with Glenda and stay with slut Mary. She chose to get loaded, drunk, a remain with stranger on deserted beach. She chose to give in to blackmail, never good idea.

Her actions CHANGED Grant - almost destroyed him.

She then humiliated her daughters by becoming town slut.

I guess if she was your spouse or mother you would congratulate her. Way to go mom!

I have become a fan of StangStar's work but this isn't one of his best. The main problem for me is that I didn't have much empathy with any of the characters.

Dahlia ended up cheating more through stupidity than malice and whatever her many faults she never tried to hurt her husband deliberately.

In contrast, Greg's cruel. vindictive and cynical response to his wife's cheating ran contrary to the story's premise that he was a 'good' man. Good men don't subject other human beings to the level of premeditated cruelty and humiliation that he inflicted on his wife. They either forgive them or divorce them.

The smug, self-righteous daughters weren't much better - mummy was seeing other men because daddy told her that she should because he wasn't interested, which makes her a whore - daddy was fucking Amy behind mummy's back, which makes him a victim. God protect us from children with this kind of moral compass.

Dahlia - for all her faults and cheating - was the only character who seemed to possess an iota of human warmth and sincerity (she really made an effort to rekindle her marriage) Of course, she should have seen the writing on the wall and left the cold hearted prick early in the game but she was too needy and not very bright - and, in the real world, bastards, hypocrites and psychopaths usually win in the end.

LA

If you read the story you would know there is no RAAC.

Definitely a different twist than the usual SS06 stories but it was still entertaining.

Why did it take so much and eleven pages for that ending.

So they signed the papers and the divorce would be final in 4 years. I think that’s just about how long it took me to read this story. But I kept plugging, thinking that the ending would be worth the effort. Well....not so much. Instead of a big bang at the end it turned out to be more of a slow fizzle. Oh well. Onward.

I don't give a shit about any of them. You drag things so long and made both the wife and the husband truly disgusting people.

Either reconcile or divorce. Don't string the readers on through that garbage because you think it's funny to pull a trick at the end. That was horrible. Yeah Dahl deserved the divorce, but stringing her along was fucked up and served no point at all. It was a waste of time to read this story. I'm am very glad I skimmed this instead of reading it. Stories like this are why I skim in the first place. 1 star.

In the end I felt so sorry for Dahlia. Grant ended up being one cruel so and so.

FBG

Not sure Grant was a fair to Dylan, she was blackmailed into sex with many men by a sharp operator who made a living working the venerable wifes - (liquor, drugs, & video). However, Dylan could not stay true to her promise to not cheat again, so now Grant took the opening Dylan gave him. Using Dylan for sex was really a way to pay her back and keep her hopes up until he felt it was enough.

I liked the story ... the end sucked. The way he handled the end was mean and cruel. He essentially used her to set up his final good by. What she did wasn't excusable but he had no class or compassion in the day he left. To let her think that there might be a reconciliation and then introduce her replacement at a party is, as I said, just mean spirited. Not one of your better endings. I still gave it a 5 though I don't know why.

Very repetitive. Dahlia is just written too compulsively to be believed. And where in the world did this Amy come from anyway?

And considering he hadn't had sex for years, yu'd think our hero would have thrown a fuck at Veronica just to relieve the pressure. He was after all a divorced man with no reason to be faithful to a cheating whore. The way he's written you'd almost have to put him into the cuckold category. Yeah, she can fuck anybody she wants but there's no arrangement for him to. What a load of shit. Dick get hard, pussy is presented, fucking ensues. It's just nature. What is written here is just not natural.

.... Cardboard characters...

.. and who the hell was Any and where did she come from?

Nailed it. At some point, we need to empathize with at least one character. Better if we are conflicted by feelings for more than one character. The only character I didn't despise was Rose probably because she was a stick figure without enough definition to care about. Not your best effort.

Long, convoluted, unbelievable as well as unlikable characters annnnd... BORING!

The story sucked. She was stupid and deserved to suffer some. What bothered me is that no one cared about her rape and blackmail. I would have hired a hitman to take out all involved in her downfall. In the end she should lose the weight ,find a man , and get on with her life. She suffered but life goes on.

Your stories normally make sense to me but this one. The wife is smart and deeply in love with the husband. After talking to some people at the job she looses her mind and want to go with them away from the husband who she is normally joined at the hip to! Did she know them at all or just work at the same location. Yes this is a story but please change something to remove how loyal she was at the beginning of the story. There was no way she left him to be with them on a vacation without him. They must have gave her drugs or something to affect that fast and complete a change in that woman. Then the overly long story to be told by the suddenly stupid wife until the end. That didn't match the beginning of the story. This was like two and a half stories mixed together. I like reading a lot of your writing but not this one but, thank you for your work.

great writing.

I felt a bit sad for the wife by the end.

She was drugged then blackmailed.

Her only failing was continuing after that time.

Even then maybe she could have saved herself, but continuing to cheat was the nail.

Writers use the whole, I have to have sex tool in stories, but really, doesnt exist so much.

"I hate you Dahlia," he said. "No wonder Grant doesn't care who you fuck. You're garbage." - Yup, that summed it up. The only problem is that when you have garbage, you have to dispose of it. You do not keep it for four years for sentimental value. Yes, there are times when it is the right thing to do to stay married for the kids - this wasn't one of those times. She was a slutpig and you do not keep those in the house. So, while it was another well written story, it took a long time to get to where it should have been by page 3.

Nice twists. Five stars.

unless one is playing grenades or bombs. TK U MLJ LV NV

You're without a shadow of a doubt my favourite author on this site and I love every single one of your stories (and yes, I've read every one); thing is I think this is the only one I disagree with the ending of. I kinda wanted them to get back together. I'm not quite sure why...

"Here's another tale of loss and woe "

not a happy or likeable character in it. It even put the therapist to sleep.

SSA is the best writer on here. let's see if you can write your name. You are the worst, like a fucking terrorist!! Hiding in shit and attacking , I gave it a 5 and hope you die

Obviously written by a wanker.

The attorney who was supposed to be representing Grant would find herself brought before the state bar association on ethics violation charges and disbarred for the stunt she pulled off--representing Dahlia's interests instead of Grant's after being retained by Grant.

In addition, a divorce cannot be placed on hold to become effective at a future date in reality. In most jurisdictions, a divorce which is not finalized within a year of being filed is dismissed and must be refiled.

You really need to do better legal research because it is the glaring weakness in your writing....

a few too many twists. and way too dark.

mr angry & mr neanderthal , do not have the patience or the intellectual acuity to read eleven pages , BTB tales really need to be kept to 5 pages or less , otherwise the haters&flamers will have forgotten the 1st half of the story by the time they reach the end.

for those who enjoy a good long read of ten pages or more , the story needs more new & diferent content .. not a rehash as seems to be the case with this tale.

having said all that , i think the story has scored lower than it deserves , it's a worthy 4 star .. i would have been surprised to see it with a hot "H" .. but it merits a 4.20 to 4.35 score

not enthralling , not riveting , not insightful .. but still an enjoyable, well written story , with workable plot & protagonists .. i like the Authors style of using the big hammer , to nail his points solidly to the wall. The extremes of good/bad, fair/unfair, smart/dumb .. etc , the way he over emphasizes the events has a distinct style. though on occasion that can detract from the reading experience & make the story somewhat belaboured at times.

on a deeper level , one has to wonder wether the whole eleven pages was simply put together to deliver the hammer blow of the last two paragraphs ....

The therapist was sound asleep ....

total love & utter hate .. sometimes so closely linked

and sometimes you have heard it all before & it's as boring as hell.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

godbless & sleep well .

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

SS

Some of your stories run longer than necessary, but I really enjoy them. Both are true of this story. 5.

wife/bitch/girlfriend write another stupid story under your name, women have no logic no reason no grasp of emotional pain, they talk so much it never sinks in, hence they cant write worth shit about cheating and remorse.

and address will be banned.

unless is involves STDs TK U MLJ LV NV

You are the only author that repeatedly degrades their female characters with rape and then somehow transforms them into wanton sluts before the stories’ end.

You are telling the same story over and over and over again. In summary, the loyal wife, perfect for 18 to 24 years gets involved in an incident. She’s raped, in a number cases repeatedly. She fails to tell of her degradation, the husband finds out and divorces her (no ifs, no ands, no buts).

By the time of the divorce the wife thinks the rape was an enlightening intro to her new lifestyle.

Then a third of the story is the ex trying to get back with her former mate. Does that sound familiar? It should. You’ve told it AT LEAST 10 times.

Oh, and the story needs to take at least 9 pages to tell (with Mustang anecdotes added for so-called levity).

You can write any story you want; that’s your right as an author. But RAPE IS RAPE!!!! How much do you have to hate women to write of their RAPES with such detachment and ambivalence?

I read your stories and think that you are 2 steps away from gleefully telling us about an honor killing of a gang rape victim. You can’t hate women that much! I hope that you don’t and that these stories are a reflection that you are stuck on a formula and like the accolades of the BTB crowd who would be as comfortable in Karachi stoning a 10-year old bride who has defied her husband.

I only hope that the audience is not driving these sick, twisted tales.

Stand, do you have a life. Why do you keep writing this crap. First the stories are TOO LONG and full of HORSE SHIT. We don`t give a rats ass about Mustangs.

I made it to page 2. Your characters are so stupid it was painful to read about them. Your depiction of Jamaica was Hell on earth. The interesting thing about Hell is that unlike Jamaica, nobody is there that doesn't want to be there. Reading about Grant and Dahlia's experience of Hell on earth because they needed to be MORONS for the sake of your plot was the clue I needed to quit ; and just like beating your head against the wall, it felt sooo good to stop.

I don't know that it was too long but it simply had trouble keeping my interest piqued as much as most of your stories do. I think the big "fake out" was contrived. No way that the scheme to have Grant fuck her until his loved burned away was silly and totally out of character for the sensitive man you made him out to be. You do well on character development but in this instance you didn't stay true to the characters and their relationships. Seemed more contrived than normal. You do know how to create self centered, out of touch, psycho bitches but in this case the scenario doesn't work.

Curiosity got the better of me and I checked out the A version. Although a bit over the top for my taste it did balance the story out. It turned a seeming runaway wimp into a man. I bet the WACC jobs really hate it.

Thanks . SS06 your stories are like oatmeal at breakfast.

Healthy and filling. But the same , mush every day. Wait sometimes you add a few raisins or maybe maple syrup. It's all good, Thank You again. You give me what I believe is right...And here I go and complain!! Sorry.

AMerryMan

P.S. I'm not going to comment anymore, I will rate your stories. Thank You again!!

It's difficult to read this stuff because the characters are so stupid.

If you try to put yourself in the place of the protagonists, you realize that you would never act like that.

Sorry but this story doesn't make it.

The A version of this tale over on Sol is so much better its a shame Stang fans had to read the B version first :( Dennis more than deserved his fate.

@frontlinecaster

You rather conveniently leave out the part where Dahlia willing had sex with Dennis the following day to just try out another guy. It's this major fact that fucked up her marriage.

If you liked it, you have the same problem the author has. He has been bitten on the arse and now finds it necessary to portray all women as devious, irrational and hysterical. When he can bring himself to move on he might be worth reading. It's not as if he lacks talent.

I don't know why anyone is surprised by this story. Stang has always been a rape apologist. The story he's basically just retelling here was also about a woman who gets raped and then blamed for it because she was dressed a certain way or went to a party. So of course she deserved what she got, just like all the BTB crowd who fall all over themselves to worship Stang here will say this wife deserved what she got for going on vacation.

Women deserve to be assaulted and raped for behaving immorally, and then they deserve to have their lives ruined because they are ashamed of that fact and don't report it, one of the single most common reactions of real women to this kind of crime.

From time to time people have made the charge about SS06 that he has a problem moving past a certain stereotype about women and wives in particular. And for the longest period of time I thought that charge against SS06 t was kind of unfair.

After reading this terrible awful story I think it's safe to say that SS06 as a serious issues with women.... at least in the LW genre here at LIT .

1. The wife was essentially Drugged RAPED then blackmailed in Jamaica. The wife NEVER even intends to make that argument or defense.

2 after their legally divorced still living in the same house the wife figure she has 4 years to try and win her husband. When she gets so unbelievably horny to the point where she HAS to have sexual needs 'Taken care of " she decides to meet other men and ... FUCK THEM IN THE HOUSE ????

Nobody could possibly be this stupid. Up to this point the story seems to be working pretty well . But the whole thing falls apart when this overrated author throws in this unbelievable plot twist.

3 Even the wife recognize that even though her husband said that he would "OK" if she has sex with other men... the wife knows that he could not and would not accept it. Which makes her decision to bring them home to their house to fuck the other guy ...where the husband MIGHT see them... even more explicable.

4 Forgetting to go to the abortion clinic until it was almost too late? FORGETTING ?

5. The silly transition of the wife ...from someone who is determined to win back her husband and NEVER have sex with anyone else EVER again to

to town cunt. It's badly done... it is wholly inconsistent with the motives and it happened way too fast

Really? This site censors violence? Have you read Loving Wives? The amount of murder and rape that is directed towards the women in these stories is absolutely stunning if you think it's 'censored'.

Just skimmed the "A" version for the differences. The added revenge plot makes the story. I cannot help wonder why this site allows incest stories but censors violence.

Posted on SOL

This on totally sucked swamp water! *1

Sorry not entertaining, not even funny.

Close to the bottom of Stangtale heap ... but that heap is mostly Fivers, with a small smattering of Fours. All the way through, I knew I was reading a fictional story. Not sure why ... I haven't liked main characters (both, in this case) before and voted 'five' so that factor doesn't explain my unwillingness to get into the tale. Oh, well!

I concur that the story was like Sweetie ... more than svelte at the beginning, and WAY overweight at the end. Especially obvious if a reader is not 'into' it.

4*

unless some one is tossing hand grenades, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks, all!

@nonethewiser, I did mean RAAC, thanks again.

You asked about RACC. That I don't know, but there are two that are close:

RAAC is Reconciliation At All Costs

WACC is Wimp Assed Crying Cuckold

@KarenE

RAAC = Reconciliation At All Costs.

While I agree with other posters that this wasn't your best work and did kinda drag out to long due, I think this was just due to how it looked like this story was going to end. The ending not only genuinely took me by surprise but was pretty cool.

Not to show my ignorance, but what does RACC mean?

I know that BTB is Burn The Bitch.

Are there other codes I should know?

I usually LOVE! your long ass stories---but NOT this one. I really don't think 11 pages was necessary. It could've been done in 4 -6 pages. Grant fucking the slut even AFTER knowing she's become the towns whore reminded me of just plain Bob stories where he knows he's gotta slut as a wife but he just HAVE to eat and fuck her. I hate those stories. I actually thought this was a RAAC story. I gave it a 3, only because I didn't feel anything for this story.

So Dahlia did not want to believe the truth. Grant lived with her under the conditions he set out, nothing more. Does 'staying together for the kids' ever really works out?

Still haven't been to the doc for the verbal diarrhea have you?

Are we there yet? How much longer?

I've read all or most of your stories and liked quite a few of them... but this one... eh, not so much.

I found myself scrolling through whole sections of it... it's kind of discouraging that this woman was intelligent enough to attract his attention so that he ended up marrying her... and attentive enough that they say they spend 23 hours a day together... yet she's so stupid that she allows herself to be used... so inattentive that she doesn't even notice his sadness in relation to her wanting to take the trip...? That they know what each other is thinking... but in this one instance that completely fails her...?

And all of the games that he started playing on her...? Occam's razor... yet you completely ignored that here and intentionally made it convoluted...

Plus, I swear I've read portions of this story before and who wants a rehash...?

And her sex drive is so out of control that she HAS to get screwed...? That, again, she's so stupid that she figures any sex is worth the risk of her marriage...? And she never thought of birth control while getting screwed in Jamaica...?

You sure she isn't stupider than a rock...? Come on, give the "complete idiot when it comes to anything sexual" storyline a rest, you're a better author than that... aren't you...?

Longer isn't necessarily better.

Too much attention to needless details.

A very charitable 5!

The only thing I find distracting in many of these tales is how the "soul mate" turns to strange slut overnight? It is a strange paranoid nightmare theme. I have seen shitty marriages and I have seen people cheat. I have never seen a truly good marriage where the spouse was really surprised that the other cheated on them. Cheating is usually the final nail in the coffin. People in happy marriages do not cheat. It is that simple, there is no reason to cheat. If one of them is mentally ill, then the marriage was not good. That being said, I still liked the story - it was fun to read and as always contained the undercurrent of humor that is this authors trademark.

A four hundred pound unemployed psycho first wife - only Stang can come up with these women. This one was so dumb and narcissistic it was funny in parts. Five stars from me - I liked all 11 pages. I do wonder, though, what it would be like to have a true connection like the couple in the story had before Jamaica. Never had that.

It would help if your female characters had an IQ higher than room temperature. But that would necessitate thought into the 'why's of infidelity to have a smart woman cheat. Not a can of worms to open here....

Long diatribe cut.

Stop repeating yourself, both in plot and in your writing. One paragraph had the same damned idea stated three (3) times.

Can't find it under "Too Close for Comfort"

I am writing a long story because I don't have time to write a short story. Tell you what --- leave it in the pen. **

Too long and too boring. You're too high on yourself to realize when more than half of a story could be cut without effecting anything.